People, it is possible for a man to go to bed with a woman by mistake and vice versa ??
asides from being drunk, i guess we can exclude that.
i got into this argument with my colleague and he's saying it's possible.

what do y'all think ??

No i don't think its Possible.
Its only possible to regret going to bed with the wrong person.

Yes.

You can go to bed with someone for vairous reasons besides being drunk and it be a mistake.

Examples:

You could be hurting and lonely due to a recent break-up. You go to a friend and that friend seems so accomodating and kind. BAM! You sleep with the friend. Oops.

You could be angry and wanting revenge. You could say, "I'm going to sleep with this person just because [whomever] slept with that one." Oops.

There are plenty of ways we can get caught up, especially when dealing with emotions.

I personally think NO, it's not possible.
Yes what flower has said does happen to some people, but I don't believe you're ever so 'out of it' emotionally that you don't know what you're doing. I believe that deep down there would be a concious awareness of what is happening and where your actions will take you.

Not possible, mistake no no no.
I thin feeling alone is largely created by your own perception of not being connected to by people around you. So you must have it in mind and you can call that a mistake

I agree with you 2cantango. It's just sometimes we neglect those deep down feelings or we write them off only to feel guilty or ashamed later. There are plenty of times we know something is wrong but that doesn't stop us from doing it.

;DHehehe Wonders shall never end, did she trip, stumble, fall over and land on his thing

Not as simple as that

flower:

Yes.

You can go to bed with someone for vairous reasons besides being drunk and it be a mistake.

Examples:

You could be hurting and lonely due to a recent break-up. You go to a friend and that friend seems so accomodating and kind. BAM! You sleep with the friend. Oops.

You could be angry and wanting revenge. You could say, "I'm going to sleep with this person just because [whomever] slept with that one." Oops.

There are plenty of ways we can get caught up, especially when dealing with emotions.

and where would u say the mistake started in those kinda scenarios ??
would u say either of them was uncounscious of the fact that she was hurting ? or perhaps, they weren't conscious of the clothes going off, things gettin naked, bodies touching ?
lemme understand you.

I think we're thinking of two different kinds of "mistakes" so let me first try to understand you.

When you say mistake, are you refering to one being on drugs to a point where they are not concious of their actions OR are you refering to and action being done, either concious or unconcious that is a moral/ethical mistake OR are you refering to both?

the scenario is, there nothing wrong with the nervous / sensory system, it could be under stimulation like anger, emotional but there nothing mentally wrong with the person(s) involved.
i mean the person cannot be recommended for a pschiatric hospital.

yeh people do get carried away and then it's all the way

trying to define mistake is like Clinton trying to define sexual intercourse. Mistake na mistake. Doing something you didn't have the intention to do.

When drug or alcohol is involved that is a whole diffrent ball game. That is operating under the influence. So if your sense of reasoning is clouded by a substance, that is not a mistake.

I still find it difficult to believe that one person can be on ONE mistake ( and making it ) for 2 hours or more !!!!

common guyz 

wormedup:

I still find it difficult to believe that one person can be on ONE mistake ( and making it ) for 2 hours or more !!!!

common guyz

Exactly!!

shocks me

Thagodfada:

Mistake na mistake. Doing something you didn't have the intention to do.

When drug or alcohol is involved that is a whole diffrent ball game. That is operating under the influence. So if your sense of reasoning is clouded by a substance, that is not a mistake.

Agreed completely.

wormedup:

I still find it difficult to believe that one person can be on ONE mistake ( and making it ) for 2 hours or more !!!!

common guyz

At the moment that could be the last thing from your mind. Also, people can not understand the ramifications of their actions until after it's done thereby making it easier to see it was a mistake after the fact.

I understand what you're saying flower, but I still think there is enough awareness there to alert you to exactly what you're doing.

no doubt, 2cantango (love that handle, by the way) but knowing and giving into the fact of knowing are two different things. Sort of like you know it's wrong to lie [interchangeable] but at times you do it anyway. You could also know it's wrong whilst doing it but you follow through with it anyway.

@flower

now u r coming close to me.

flower:

Sort of like you know it's wrong to lie [interchangeable] but at times you do it anyway. You could also know it's wrong whilst doing it but you follow through with it anyway.

at least u agree that some1 knows but just went ahead to do it.
the person might probably be saying " not to worry, there a lot of time to regret later". how nice huh ?

@flower

now u r coming close.

flower:

Sort of like you know it's wrong to lie [interchangeable] but at times you do it anyway. You could also know it's wrong whilst doing it but you follow through with it anyway.

at least u agree that some1 knows but just went ahead to do it.
the person might probably be saying " not to worry, there a lot of time to regret later". how nice huh ?

Or they could be saying, "I'm hurting and this seems to be the only option." Later to find out it was a mistake because it changed things for the worse.

If i was so drunk or on drugs that i don't know what am doing , then i will call it rape , if the gay involved was sober.

Ain't no such thing as mistake when it comes to making love. U do it intentionally, for a reason.

Just because it was intentional does not void it from being a mistake although it would void it from being accidental.

A mistake by defination is an unintentional wrong action or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness.

The question is: Can One Make Love By Mistake?

To conclude if sex happened by mistake or not, we need to objectively examine how it started. The original intention of the parties, their emotonal and pshcological state of mind; and not how long it lasted or how they felt after the act. I quite agree with @flower; seeking solace from wrong people do lead to such things. E.g. a girl so broken hearted innocently sought solace in a friend who has been wooing her for years and he ended up taking advantage of her. She was there just because she needed soneone to share her burden with not because she was seeking comfort in another man's arms. Whether it lasted a minute or 2 hours, the act was not intentional it .^.. was a mistake.

flower:

Just because it was intentional does not void it from being a mistake although it would void it from being accidental.

Here I dissagree, as long as was intentional, that one no be mistake at all at all, e.g. doing it for revenge.

this is one of the reasons I like Nigeria, we like to call grey what should be labelled as black or white.

Regardless of ones emotional state, except been drunk or raped, when it comes to sleeping with someone, there are no mistakes about it,

, or maybe we would want to rationalize those guys that steal all our money, ok, heres the scene, the politician didnt want to embezzle money, but he he was in some financial hardship, due to some pressing family needs, so a bank manager took advantage of this politician and made him to embezzle 200million Naira,

i believe that makes a whole lot more sense,

People don't make love by mistake. They do what they want to do and then later when they start facing the consequences they say it was a mistake. That is technically correct, but it's not what we usually mean when we say "mistake".

Let's say, for instance, that I stumble into my bedroom one night and a woman is there and I think she's my wife, and I have sex with her only to discover after the act that she's someone else. That's one kind of mistake. An excusable one.

However,let's I knew she was not my wife but went ahead to sleep with her because I thought my wife will never find out. And then my wife finds out. Or maybe she gets pregnant. Or I get infected with HIV. It's still a "mistake", because I wouldn't have done it if I knew for sure that one of those three things would happen, but this kind of "mistake" is not excusable! When people are arguing about whether one can make love by mistake, I think what they are more concerned about is whether the act can be excused on the basis of being a"mistake". My answer is "most of the time, no".

Some ladies like to get drunk so they can have wild sex and then blame it on alcohol when they wake up. That's not a mistake that can be excused. Another common "mistake" women make is to sleep with someone thinking "this sex is going to be enjoyable" and then when the sex is not enjoyable, they call it a mistake - especially when they lose their virginity in the process. Others cheat on their spouses and later call it a "mistake" when they are caught. Technically, these cases are all "mistakes" but they are not mistakes that can be excused. They are inexcusable mistakes.

@tcarz, ever heard of will power?

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