the poster is quite funny cos i couldn't help but notice the place he said " I made sure i got the best clinic in town nomatter the cost,because i never wanted to hurt her womb or things like that." you could abort for whatever cost no matter how high from a doc who trained abroad but you couldn't go to a small good maternity home or even an experienced mid-wife to help deliver the baby for little cost, get baby cloths from a family member (maybe an aunt who gave birth about 3 years ago) or buy used cloths (a baby wouldn't care), get your parents or friends at work (if you have any) to help offset provision and baby effects costs. though things aren't so easy you would have survived the crises and moved on with life but truth is you are not really sure of what you want from the girl. you dont know if she's what you want in a wife thats why

If he had a good heart he would have married her.

Listen men, in the 1st place why would u have unprotected sex when u are not ready to keep the child, believe me, this should be your last cos God would never forgive you for killing babies, and as for ur girlfriend, she's goin' through the trauma of it, all she needs is little time and some care from your side, so give it to her and stop thinking about loosing her.

I Aborted My Babi. My Gal Said I Disgust Her Since After That.

i am considering marrying this girl,but because i need the challenges i'm passing tru @ wok 2 calm. I decided to abort a 3wks old baby my girl had 4 me although she told me we could v kept the pregnancy. since then we don't relate well and she hardly comes to visit me,but still listens to me as a distant friend. i have strong feelings for this girl and has everything it takes to be an good wife, but it seems as if i am loosing her. what do i do?

i don't sympathize with you. dutch why did u post this?do u think it will rid your conscience of guilt and make feel better.no-it wont, both of you are at fault.Regardless of the circumstance, she has no right to act funny to you because you didn't rape her and you didn't force her to the operating table,she did it of her own free will. Even so,i believe that your love for her doesn't hold water because if 2people are truly, madly, deeply in love with each other, they will find a way.

you said that you are considering marrying her-

[list]
[li]that is so arrogant.do you think you are doing her a favor by marrying her? if she is a real woman without her, you will be incomplete.[/li]
[li]you are not even sure you want to marry her and that is why you would tell her to abort[/li]
[/list].
you know what you are doing and d truth is,you will not get a good reason redeem your act.the solution is to ask God for forgiveness, ask your woman for forgiveness,give a gift to an orphanage on behalf of your unborn child, come to terms with it-forgive yourself and move on with life,

Mmm!

Both of u should actually be mourning. It is the fault of both of you.  Both of you should repent fully, ask God for forgiveness and also forgive yourselves. (I mean the man forgive himself and forgive the woman, the woman forgive herself and forgive the man). Am sure God will forgive if you repent fully i.e don't do it again or support it again.

Meanwhile know that an innocent (probably naija) man/woman has been (killed) denied life by two of you. Do you know what this child could have been in future? Do you know what genetic make ups you have removed from the face of this earth forever? Do you know whether this child could have been a genius? Do you know whether this child could have been the one to take proper care of u in your old age? Do you know what the impact of this genetic loss could be on naija (at a national level) in general?

As a naija, I feel that a part of me has been removed from the face of this earth! May his or her soul rest in perfect peace!!!

To the woman (and women in general) learn your lessons. You can love some one to the highest level but "strictly[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000]" avoid sex until after marriage. If the man does not agree to that , he does not love u enough. The one who loves u enough will even willingly agree to wait if he knows that that will make somebody he loves happy. Y do not lose any thing by postponing sex. But u may lose something by jumping into sex before marriage.

What if your parents terminated ur life?

All the same if u want to win her back, quickly prepare for marriage, then propose to her and get married fast( if she agrees. She will probably agree if you are serious). Good luck!

U do not lose any thing by postponing sex. But u may lose something by jumping into sex before marriage.

its realy sad, but did she ever say she was not ready to cope with the  situaton surroundin you? i believe she would have feels comfortable having the baby no mata the situation[b], YOU realy hurts her, and u nid to beg for 4givesness, wetin happen don happen, e dey b like that sometimes[/b], first settle scores wit baba God then kom beg her make she 4give u, cement the love well well make she no say u no dey joke wen u say u love am, just make her feel special like she is to u, giv her whateva she wnts, crown her imediately and the rest bros i assure u go b history

hotin do u

"I decided to abort a 3wks old baby my girl had 4 me although she told me we could v kept the pregnancy".
@ Seun, did you read the above statement before making this statement:
I'm sick and tired of girls claiming someone "made" them do something.  It was not his fault that she got pregnant; she was probably thinking it would push him to propose to her.  And after he did not propose marriage, she decided to abort.  It is all her doing; someone should tell her to shut up and accept her guilt like a woman.  She was not forced to get pregnant or abort it.

I'm really surprise at you on this, I've always respected your opinions but this one totally sucks. Remember she's not crying out and whining, it's the poster who's doing just that. It takes two to get pregnant and you can't push the fault totally on the lady. That she carries the child in her only makes her more vulnarable and not more guilty of the crime. She didn't decide to abort, the poster coerced her to and that's why he feels guilty about it. If she got pregnant to make him propose, why would she succumb to his pressure for an abortion? Fact is that the lady does has her faults but the poster is more faulty. From this post, I think it will be very silly for any lady to date a man like you because if she ever gets into trouble, you'll tell her to face the music herself even if you both got her into that situation. Seun, I think you should grow up and get more responsible.

I thank you landers who have actually made some commendable comments which have to be copied. I went to this girl yesterday not considering all the pleas i have submitted, she stood in the presence of people making comments which a man can't bear. " i regret doing whatever i had done with u, i wonder what your ex saw in u that made her still talk to u."
landers, i realise i had made a big mistake and hurt God and human, but this girl has worn a clothing of another attitude since after this menace.  I plan marrying her, but the attitude she displays lately makes me to think she has been hiding some things from me.

On our discussion to sort out things, which i initiated, she was calling on a guy in a moving vehicle. i called her attention to stop that, because we were discussing a crucial matter. she told me how the guy stopped her the other day,started playing with her by collecting her phone from her.She repeated calling her name this time when the guy was driving back.This pisses me off.

I want you to know that you are a murderer, you lack human feelings and sympathy for aborting a 3 weeks old baby you are bad fellow,    I want to ask you a question, did you know may be the lady will not be able to conceive again? may be that is the only child she is destined to have, now both of you have conspired and sent the baby back, well the bible says that no sinner will go UN-punished one way or the other any person that commit an abortion will surely pay for it.

fact is at this age and day a woman can keep her baby if she wants to.
If she had the baby to push the man and he did not want, she lost the game,Better said she gambled and lost.Any woman making such a move should also be able to bring up the child on her own.

I want you to know that you are a murderer, you lack human feelings and sympathy for aborting a 3 weeks old baby you are bad fellow, I want to ask you a question, did you know may be the lady will not be able to conceive again? may be that is the only child she is destined to have, now both of you have conspired and sent the baby back, well the bible says that no sinner will go UN-punished one way or the other any person that commit an abortion will surely pay for it.

Get rid of your ex. Enough said.

At the same time every man has the right to want a baby or not,
he can bring his point across but he cannot enforce it.
Not even if it was the other way round and he was the one that wanted the baby she did not want

@ dutch

ur action was the wrongest approach to solve problem like dis, no wonder the lady is throwing in the towel. How could you have tricked her into abortion with such tales, and you still want her to feel secured in such relationship 4get it, u don't deserve that lady's heart.
yesterday u said u both agree to do abortion today u are given us a diffenrent story God!. when some people are looking for this fruit of the womb they couldn't get one, u are given without labour and yet u abort it. I pray God 4give you.

@ Seun, have you read how he tricked, coerced, decieved and ultimately forced her to abort the baby? Now, tell me she's has the blame.
She has every right to hate the poster with the whole of her heart! I only pray for her own sake that she finds a place in her heart to forgive him and love again but definitely not him.
Do you realise a lot of guys are totally irresponsible when it comes to having protected sex? Have you asked him why he didn't stay out of adults games if he's too chicken hearted to play it to the end? Don't give this guy any room to feel justified about what he's done, he was totally wrong and after his recent post, i don't think he's repentant. He deserves anything and everything that he gets from her.

Based on this new revelations, he is obviously a very evil boyfriend. But did he rape her? No.
It's her body, and she decided to allow him to have unprotected sex with her. She is partly to blame.

lets get something striaght here, Ur girlfriend aborted the baby and not u, guilty concise with forever hunt thee for taking a precious soul that was sent to earth for a purpose by the most high, guess ur so-called girl cant even protect an unborn child, i hate u killer

@ Seun,
We're getting to agree on something, I like the "Partly" development. Fact still remains though that people can do a lot of things they wouldn't have done ordinarily for love. It was his own body too and that she's the one carrying the child does not mean she has to be totally responsible for not getting pregnant. It was probably a mutual agreement or as we now know this guy better he could have lied to her as well. He probably told her that it wouldn't matter if she got pregnant, for christ sake, he's definitely above 28 and already has a job. She might be ready to settle down and wouldn't see anything wrong with getting pregnant with him if she cares about him.

I do not See how a man can force a woman to remove a baby .
Only if he beats it out of her,.
I am a woman too and i have 3 daughters.
I tell them any man they would have sex with is a pontencal father of a baby and if push comes to shove and they think they can have sex, they should also in hard cases be ready to mother  a child.
That comes out when women hid that they have sex and do not get oills or hid them.
All in the name of "am a good girl i am"

l dont blame her at all,l mean you killed an innocent life,how else
do you want her to react?

The Lying Dutchman or whatever your name is - not flying dutchman obviously.
Are we in Nollywood, is this a form of fiction or something? I am not ready to castigate you 'cos if I do - I fit misyarn. When God said that marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled, he perfectly knew what he was doing. Our fore fathers also believed in that methodology even though they were not privy to bibles and other literatures then. Nowadays in the name of civilization and freedom, we have decided to live like animals doing things without looking at the consequences. I am not a pretender and I know that it is not easy to prevent pre-marital sex - but some people still do and are the better for it. And if you cannot, why not do what others do - prevention which is subjective.
Some people are saying that the girl should not have allowed him to have unprotected sex with her and then allow abortion - A yoruba proverb says that he who has not been to war thinks he is a strong man. We all know how sugar coated God made a man's mouth and the fact that he has dominion. God did not design this dominion to be used in selfish and irresponsible ways but we have descended so low to the level we were not meant to be.
My advice to you - ask God for help to heal you and your girlfriend. Pray that the guilt will leave you - yes it can, God forgives people if they are ready to forgive themselves. And then make a commitment to do things the God's way and not make such mistakes again. Whether you will make up with her or not will be clear in no time. Cheers.

I pity those who bring their problem here for encouragement.


Majority of Nairalanders are babies.

Somebody has made a mistake and he is remorse and looking for solution. Instead of advising and encouraging the poor man. You are adding pepper to injury.

If I  may majority of those casting the stone have aborted one time or the other in their lifetime. You make you the judge. Thou shall not judge, so says the Lord.

Do you thing it is only age you consider when you want to get married?

Please the guy has enough proble already. If you can't encourage him, SHUT UP YOUR BIG MOUTHS.

By the way, abortion is legalised in some countries because of some peculiar reason. Dont play holier than Pope here please. If many of you are God, nobody will remain on earth again

BLOODY HYPOCRITES

Poooooos-ter!!!!!

U really have a lot to confess to God and make up for:

1. Premarital sex (especially with intention of terminating life, if it results in producing life)
2. Abortion
3. Lying to ur so called lover
4. deceiving your ex and present.
5. using ur ex as an instrument of lies.

6. Probably lying to us in this forum.

Better change ur way of life. You may be enjoying tricking some women who can not think twice, but U can not trick your creator.

When u have changed ur way of life and u are true to yourself, then come we can talk.

Still wish u good luck

Chei poster

U be R-E-A-L player!!!

U called ex and present together to discuss next stage and level of ur play-play

(Oh! I pith women who can easily go into sex outside marriage).

Assuming ur present died in the abortion process, Could u have gone to her family to tell them that u are the man responsible for the pregnancy (and abortion) which killed her?

Assuming she died could u have been thinking of using the ex to get the present back? u play ur ex finish come dey play ur present. Take am easy o.

Play-play no dey pay well o

I do not support Abortion. To me its only acceptable when the life of the mother is at stake which is not very common. Apart from the fact that it can be likened to murder, it could also affect the woman physically and emotionally.

Still we are all human beings and nobody is above mistakes so i don't think its in anybody's place to judge.

@poster
Your girl could have walked away if she really wanted to, she could have decided to damn all consequencies and have your baby if she wanted it that bad, but then again it only takes an individual with strong will and trucks load of courage to do that and believe me when i say most of us- when we find ourselves in such situations-can't come up with either of the two.

My point is your girl was equally a part of this whole thing and as Seun has said, should take full responsibility for her part. The thing is tough, she must have already acknowledged this but as the person who was actually carrying the child, her attachment was stronger and therefore her guilt will be too. Therefore if you love her then you have to be extremely patient with her and hasten your plans to make an honest woman out of her. It aint over till its over so don't give up.

@Dutch

Just read your last post did'nt see it before.You're obviously one confused and messed up guy. Its not too late tough you can still find a way to clean up your act and turn a new leaf.Question is, do you even know or realize that you have a problem Really sad.

hey TETE,how dare you talk 2 a bro like that. is unfair pls change it

@ easybabe
u fine for that ur picture ooo.
im yellow and handsome, lets hook up.
contact me if intersted.
but on the real. abortion is a serious thing, if ou love her so much, u shouldnt have even given her the idea to abort.
just pray hard and go and talk to her about it. love is a great thing and if shes what u say she is, losing her will be devastating

Sorry!

Seun's words were quite harsh but lets face it- Seun was right. She should take sole responsibility for her actions.

She's keeping her distance probably because @ 26, and pregnant for the one man she loves, instead of being proposed to, she was advised by the same guy to terminate the pregnancy. it made her realise that she had been wasting her time with someone who isnt ready to tie the knots. What do you expect? Assuming she was putting 70% into the relationship, right now she will put 20%.

But i tire for guys o