Where I come from uncle's are like second father. The uncle is harsh but the guy should have known the kind of uncle he has. Stop or just drastically minimize you visit. But if it's me, I won't step my legs in that house anymore but will keep the relationship with my cousins if we see outside or they come visiting. An uncle that complains about food, what else can he do for you?

"Where have you been" is better than "you have come again"

Calvary247:
Victor learn to be moderate in everything. You may not severe all ties to this your uncle, but know how to relate with him and his family.

Why did you call him Victor

jamesversion:


To the point of telling your nephew that he should stop coming to your house becos food is now expensive.

So when food becomes cheap and easily affordable then he can resume visits??

Your nephew is like your child. You can effortless stand-in for him in the absence of his parents. I think I'm getting you wrong maybe cos we don't share same culture.

In my place, we value our nephews and neices to the point where we are the only ones to dig their graves in their demise.

Poor nephews n nieces the suffer. U no go understand

But na wa o. How you sef go dey go person house like that, shame no dey catch you? You use that time to learn something that will give you money?

Have you read Proverbs 25:17

You'd understand better afterwards.
God Bless You

Messi1:
I've always visited this my uncle at least four times a week. That is where I pass away time. His children all like me and any day I fail to come they must ask me why didn't come. I use the time i spend in his house to teach his children Mathematics and do their home work for them.

Today I was in his house, he stormed out from his room and ask if i don't help my mother at home. He yelled at me and what pain me most is that he said food is costly and they are only managing. He made me feel like i was the one finishing the food in his house. He said I should not be too frequent in his house if at all I must come.

I'm considering severing all ties to this my uncle, will that be right?

Sorry.

This is apt.

Messi1:
I've always visited this my uncle at least four times a week. That is where I pass away time. His children all like me and any day I fail to come they must ask me why didn't come. I use the time i spend in his house to teach his children Mathematics and do their home work for them.

Today I was in his house, he stormed out from his room and ask if i don't help my mother at home. He yelled at me and what pain me most is that he said food is costly and they are only managing. He made me feel like i was the one finishing the food in his house. He said I should not be too frequent in his house if at all I must come.

I'm considering severing all ties to this my uncle, will that be right?

alajenu so you never mature to reason say go in somewhere often makes someone lose value

When you go 4 times a week do you always eat and bring them nothing?

And the lessons he's doing?

brain54:

Pls what place is this…? I mean the digging grave…


I just feel things are a bit hard at the moment for everyone.
I don’t know what the uncle does for a living or how buoyant but I believe if he ain’t feeling the pinch he would not complain.


That’s his feeling and being blunt about it I feel is not wrong. Right or wrong I ain’t judging that now. But being open enough to say your mind is what I commend.


If you notice I quoted the person who stated the wife should be diplomatic about it…just tell the guy directly to know his stance if you don’t want him around.

But right or wrong can depend on a lot of factors which I am no here to judge now


Afterall it is he who wears the shoe that knows we’re it pinches.

there's no way you can paint it... what the uncle did was wrong. I know someone who is still struggling but took his nephew to come live with him. the wife was very angry but the husband insisted, on the ground that he cannot leave the child without helping his education. today, the boy is the one doing practically all this house chores and even teach,wash and take care of their children while the wife have not much to worry about. he's a brilliant boy now which he's the who always takes first in his class.
How can someone tell his own family not to visit because of food... food ooo,. There's no reason for that.if he dey,they manage,if e no dey,dey give him what they have and that's it. The boy even help with the children home work. I believe he wouldn't have said that if it is the wife's brother. food wen the boy go still boy in time to come or even help his children, that man is a disgrace to the society.

brain54:

Sometimes being blunt is better than being subtle…


I respect blunt people. Maybe the uncle has even been subtle in approach but OP didn’t understand as someone pointed out by a previous comment.

Someone that visits 4 times weekly. Some times you need to yell!

Yes. But not kids o. This guy will never forget this

Messi1:
I've always visited this my uncle at least four times a week. That is where I pass away time. His children all like me and any day I fail to come they must ask me why didn't come. I use the time i spend in his house to teach his children Mathematics and do their home work for them.

Today I was in his house, he stormed out from his room and ask if i don't help my mother at home. He yelled at me and what pain me most is that he said food is costly and they are only managing. He made me feel like i was the one finishing the food in his house. He said I should not be too frequent in his house if at all I must come.

I'm considering severing all ties to this my uncle, will that be right?

As a general rule, you shouldn't be to frequent in other people places and too available to be seen; it promotes see finish and increases the tendency of people taking you for granted.

No matter how food is expensive, it shouldn't be a reason to blatantly tell someone that food is... That ur uncle is stingy, stay away from them. Teaching the children maths is something valuable.

Some discussion are meant not to be discussed in open. Severing all tiers isn't the solution. He has told u point black your frequent visit is too much.
Stop it and maybe visit them once in a month that way you gain your respect.

Better stay off from that house. Maintain your rep. But if u still keep going there, then I will join him to tell u that u are finishing there food... Try get sense.

If I may ask, how did u react when he said those things to you..Someone like me I would leave his house immediately and I won't step my foots ever again in his house.

GboyegaD:


I am sure the guy wouldn't be less than 16 and to some extent, he's grown and reasonable. The uncle could even have discussion with him as a man. I have an uncle I respect till tomorrow because at some point during my teenage years when I was acting my normal teenager who is an undergrad, he had to invite me to his office so that we could have real talks. I did not cry but I did appreciate the words of advice. Did I apply everything, NO but the ones that resonated with me, really helped me in making my choices.

You see as you stingy reach.why you no share the advice make younger guys wey no get uncles learn.

Well the uncle was selfish and inconsiderate.his motives was not just the food. The op pays for the good with classes and attention he pays to his cousins.

Oga op stay your house and mind your business.use your time wisely and you will be fine.

FavouredNK:


Who knows that may be because he has been giving signs for long that didn't pass the message enough so he decided to speak in the language that even a 2 year old can understand

It still doesn't make it right. When a child acts like one, an adult should act like an adult.

jamesversion:


I'm from Ikwerre.

Well, like you said the man knows where it pinches him. Also factors such as his personal relationship with his sister and her husband. Also too, maybe he felt the boys presence was unnecessary and might really need to help his mum, possibly in whatever business she's does.

the uncle is bad person no two ways about it. You can't just tell your family member not to come to your house because you always give him food. That foolishness and outdated too. this life that is moving fast these days that even your smallie for area go dey buy motor dey build house anytime na him person go dey treat anyhow because of food....
A boy who is capable of doing home work can as well work and earn money in no time. Its a sad thing that the boy has to learn the wicked way of life through his own cherished family member. This is how some people grow later to become a strong hearted adult cos of betrayal from loved ones.

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Messi1:
I've always visited this my uncle ALMOST EVERYDAY to stay with my cousins. That is where I pass time..

Today I was in his house, he STORMED OUT FROM HIS ROOM and ask if i don't help my mother at home. He YELLED AT ME.. He said.. ..IF AT ALL I MUST COME.

I'm considering severing all ties to this my uncle, will that be right?

No, u will still respect and greet him as ur uncle but must now act according to his wishes by reacting symbolically as an african when person wronged you.
How do i mean?
Do not near that place till middle of January at least.
If any thing takes you to his house, set 15/20mins alarm on ur phone OR JUST DO STANDING GREETING, excuse urself and leave immediately.
Reject food in his house even if you came to introduce ur spouse to him or family meeting.
He'll either apologise or snub you. Bt u go keep ur little remaining dignity.

You weren't entirely wrong but his action was despicable. Somebody's uncle as in, substitute parent?! Tueh!

Zeezenho:


You see as you stingy reach.why you no share the advice make younger guys wey no get uncles learn.

In summary, you can achieve whatever you set your mind on. As for your parents, it might seem they are harsh and do not care about your feelings, they are only doing in their way what they think is best to guide your feeble heart. Some mistakes are best avoided and in all you do, remember the world is looking up to you. Also, in my final year, he told me not to rush to pick any job as once I start working, no one would try to help get me into a good place and if the pay is bad, I will be frustrated by month end when my various cousins look up to me. He said, "it is better you are not working and we all give you money by month end than you are working and squeezing face when your younger ones and cousins come to you."

In essence, it is what we all know, I think the difference was the fact that he made me see it in a better light. And since then, I had a steady N5k extra every month from him to add to my monthly allowance from my parents alongside my undergraduate Oil and Gas scholarship.

Messi1:
I've always visited this my uncle at least four times a week. That is where I pass away time. His children all like me and any day I fail to come they must ask me why didn't come. I use the time i spend in his house to teach his children Mathematics and do their home work for them.

Today I was in his house, he stormed out from his room and ask if i don't help my mother at home. He yelled at me and what pain me most is that he said food is costly and they are only managing. He made me feel like i was the one finishing the food in his house. He said I should not be too frequent in his house if at all I must come.

I'm considering severing all ties to this my uncle, will that be right?

See what the Bible says bro

PV uncle, you don't need such uncle anyway.

Very wrong of you to be visiting your uncle 4 times in a week. It's too much.

brain54:

Sometimes being blunt is better than being subtle…


I respect blunt people. Maybe the uncle has even been subtle in approach but OP didn’t understand as someone pointed out by a previous comment.

Someone that visits 4 times weekly. Some times you need to yell!

Once a week is too much to visit anyone not to talk of 4 times weekly.

Messi1:
It would be better if I cut ties..the man is really very unreasonable.

Don't act angry or aggresive towards him. Greet him and keep a cool countenance, but keep your distance. Learn from this situation and accept that you are at fault for visiting too often and constituting a 'see finish' situation.


I stayed with an uncle for 2 months when i was job hunting and broke. I had the most depressive moments staying with. He was aggresive, abusive, manipulative and likes to put me down in every way possible. This is someone that use to respect and speak to me politely.

I had to leave his house after a months so as to kill the 'see finish spirit'.


Its better to be seen once in a while than too often, otherwise you become cheap.

Correct baba don't mind those people hailing his useless uncle, how much food the op will eat, what if his parents are no more, won't he take care of him? I guess op kan is not of age , how will u be visiting someone four times a week don't you work?

Richy4:

I understand you man.. Thank Goodness while growing up, I was never in a precarious situation where I was at the mercy of an uncle...
My mum's younger brother, God rest his soul, was loved by all of us because he shared a special bond with my mother more than the rest of his siblings...

However growing up, my siblings and I were not the type that visits uncles and aunts...So I won't know where to put my face if such embarrassment was to happen those days...

But what OP's uncle failed to understand is OP will someday have a home of his own and those kids of his would like to visit someday... Imagine using the sins of the father to visit their children....

Messi1:
I've always visited this my uncle at least four times a week. That is where I pass away time. His children all like me and any day I fail to come they must ask me why didn't come. I use the time i spend in his house to teach his children Mathematics and do their home work for them.

Today I was in his house, he stormed out from his room and ask if i don't help my mother at home. He yelled at me and what pain me most is that he said food is costly and they are only managing. He made me feel like i was the one finishing the food in his house. He said I should not be too frequent in his house if at all I must come.

I'm considering severing all ties to this my uncle, will that be right?

Where do people keep their pride, self respect and dignity? How can you be visiting someone 4 times in a week? It’s not in my place to tell you you deserved what you got so I wouldn’t tell you that.

Learn to do things in moderation. Even the bible advices us.

I cannot believe how insensitive and entitled you are. Gosh! Nigerians are just a rare breed of MAD!
Do you eat his food or not?! The fact is that the SELF ACCLAIMED value you contibute to his family for eating ALL his food was not solicited or appreciated!
If you cannot reject their food and go there just for the love you claim you have for his kids, STAY THE F*CK AWAY FROM THEIR FAMILY, YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS GLUTTON!!