How Necessary Is Marriage? - Family (2) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Necessary Is Marriage? (11949 Views)
Poll: Marriage is necessary in the Nigerian culture?True: 88% (117 votes)False: 11% (15 votes) This poll has ended |
Is Marriage A Measure Of Success In Life? / Is Marriage An Achievement? / Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply) (Go Down)
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by oziomatv(m): 1:21pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
I prefare being a happy singleman than entering into a bored marriage life. Nigerians likes marriage life because our women has never stand up for their rights, whatever men does in marriage women will take it for the sake of marriage. |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by doracle4(m): 1:22pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
oziomatv: |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by delegiwa(m): 1:23pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
Marriage, yes Marriage is a good thing. But let not be decieved into thinking that it is all rosy as it is not. If you want to enjoy marriage, you need to have just one thing in mind and that thing is the fact that NO ONE IS PERFECT. |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by oziomatv(m): 1:36pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
@D_oracle I Think you base in naija? marriage still dey sweet that side. Just listen to European or American version of marriage then you'll thank God and pray make our African culture continue to exist. |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by babybunmi(f): 2:00pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
 I feel excited when i see people get married or planning to get married.I guess marriage is a necessity in life. If you prefer having a child without getting married, the child/children will definitely growing up unhappy. But its a different case if either parent is dead. There's a great joy when couple with kids live together, and the child will be proud to say my dad/mum helped me with this/that at school. Its really not about the child/children but you. Its written in the bible Matthew 19 vs 5 that a man shall live his father's house and be with is wife and they shall become one flesh, this means God approves of marriage. Before you dabble into the institution called marriage, you must not be forced into it by any 3rd party and must genuinely love your partner. These days people get into the contract of marriage and end up getting a divorce out of it. To God and few men its really a bad thing to do. If your really not ready to get married dont dabble into it because you will end up hurting yourself, your partner, and the (kid/kids if any). Anyway, to me, i feel marriage is necessary. If i wake up, i want to wake up with my spouse n kids living in the same house happy and fulfilled with God Blessings. And i will make my possible best to make my marriage work and so should you no matter what sex you are.  |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by OneLife1(f): 2:11pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
marriage is really necessary. the primary purpose of God for joining Adam AND Eve together is for companionship. God don't want the man to be lonely, seeing that even animals have their partners. I will love to get married, so that least i will have some one to share my thoughts with, someone that we will keep each others company. I remain cool  |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by oziomatv(m): 2:14pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
If marriage is an institution, I think we supposed to leave after graduation? |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by sexlover: 2:20pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
U only graduate at death  |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by texazzpete(m): 2:21pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
Not every marriage ends in disaster. There are lots of good examples of people living together for years and years in peace, harmony, love and tranquility. The fear of marriage in another form of cowardice. |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by oddz(f): 2:22pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
marriage is overrated in my opinion. older generations say things like am in this marriage because of you people( the kids) the younger generation? a different story all together. married men sleep with other married women and don't see any thing wrong with it, same goes for the married women. food for tot, have u noticed how happy you are with you boyfriend/girlfriend and that happiness goes into thin air as soon as you get married? well i know loads of people in that situation. another reason for marriage is for procreation. trust me with the present society we find our selves in? no need to get hooked to have a kid. just find any guy/girl and get knocked up as far as your ready to have a kid. marriage is for financial security. most women go into marraige for financial security. when they get in there, they find out that all is not a bed of roses. and then trouble starts. as for the men, some of the now are too lazy to move their butt and get to work so theylook for rich spoilt kids to hook up with. the result after marriage, infidelity. i could go on and on about the reasons why marraige s overrated and not worth going into. a friend once said marriage is just license to get legal or legitimate sex. i agree with him. my advice? if your a lady and can handle your self financially, hv a boyfriend for lonely times if your a guy and you're looking for a wealthy chic, move your butt and get to work u need a kid? just hv one provided you're ready to fend for them  |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Epiphany(m): 2:24pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
To be honest, marriage is not necessary. Many of us are hitting this concept from the Christian perspective. For those who are not christians, mainly in the 1st or developed world, marriage is not on the top of their list for happiness. They can have all the things that married people have without feeling guilty - sex, children, companionship etc - and when they are fed up with a particular person, they move on. Even the bible that many of us are quoting, says something about staying single - i am not sure where, but i think the Apostle Paul mentioned it, can someone tell me where that is, please? |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Nobody: 2:29pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
i totally agree with oddz and epiphany the only reason i would like to get married is to abstain from indiscriminate sex. in my opinoin, marriage is not necessary but is good for reproduction, and companionship. however, if one is not satisfied with it, abeg pack ur bags and remain single, but with a kid or two. chikena!!! |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Bblak(f): 2:49pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
Marriage is very very necessary BUT Not compulsory  .It's an everlasting institution that is to be respected and honoured. delegiwa:Exactly .Life itself is not a bed of roses |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Nobody: 3:43pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
babybunmi: u see bolded bit in the statement above has CRAP CRAP CRAP written all over it. im still waiting for someone to show me a passage of the bible where it say marriage is COMPULSORY I KEEP SAYING IT, nigerians quote the bible to suit them. |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Tokemi1(f): 4:08pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
Marriage from my on perspective is necessary,don't let us be discourage by all the negative things in our vicinity.But it is what we put into it that we will get.We must try as much as possible to make our marriage a success, no matter the challenges surrounding us.It takes understanding to build a home, but love,patience,humility,etc to maintain it. Even if you are still single,always tell God how you want your home to be.Marriage is sweet IF you marry the right person, full of realities ,best of luck! |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by taopheek(m): 4:25pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
I AGREE SO MUCH WITH LUUVBUUH, TAKE A LOOK AROUND AND U SEE BREAK-UPS MORE THAN MAKE-UPS, MARRIAGES CRASH LIKE PACK OF CARDS AND U ASK URSELF IF THIS IS WOT IS ALL ABT? SIMPLE REASON, THE WORLD IS FULL OF SO MUCH INSECURITIES MOST ESPECIALLY 9JA, N MONEY RULES EVERYTHING AROUND US AND HOW DO COPE WITH ALL D PRESSURES IN THE FACE OF E GO BETA. SO NO BODY WANTS TO SUFFER AND D RESULTANT EFFECT IS PEOPLE HOOKING UP FOR DIFFERENT REASONS AND AS LONG AS THE RELATIONSHIP IS NOT BUILT ON TRUTH AND LOVE ITS BOUND TO FAIL I WISH US ALL LUCK IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS CHEERS |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by ndubest(m): 4:48pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
Marriage is surely a sacred institution that is necessary BUT not compulsory in life the craze for marriage these days especially from the female folks is trivializing the importance of the institution I wonder what happened to courtship and getting to know your partner well You meet a lady today, next week she will be expecting a ring from you If you dont, she start asking about your future and your plans, if dont bulge, SHE WILL CONCLUDE YOU DONT HAVE PROSPECTS all under six months  HABAMarriage should be for mature minds who know themselves WELL. that way it will be fun and long lasting ANY OTHER THING IS ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN  please look before you leap to avoid a life long regret |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by eduFancy(m): 4:59pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
You can really blame the ladies this days. Most men ain't ready to get married these day. So they tend to hold on tight to their latest victim. |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by tarezulu(m): 5:29pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
marriage is not do or die. that idea is as a result of our fallen society. some people get married and all the problems of the world seems to come with it. some get married and its abour the best thing to happen to them. so its left to the individual to makethe choice. afterall the are nuns and the like who dont get married. |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Nobody: 6:03pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
As I read through I noticed that for every woman who says narriage is necessary, there are two men who say the contrary. Isn't this enough to have a rethink? |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by afroasian(m): 6:25pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
I think marriage is over-emphasized in the Nigerian culture. It kinda restricts the woman into the 'fruit bearing' realm alone, as if shes good for nothing more than just to get pregnant. And even after getting pregnant, she then begins another battle: 'I must give birth to a boy by all means'. In fact a lot of women are confused. Whether they should pursue their career or not, do this or that, their first aim is to get married, and even if they are not enjoying it, coz their husbands has seen that 'all she wants is to get married', he misuses her just as he likes / does what he likes, while 'she cant do what she likes' because she is the 'woman' - summarized as the lesser-human, and she continues 'smiling to her friends': 'im married, im married', but the question we should be asking is: are you happy in that marriage? the answer is usually NO. No, I don't think its necessary. I just had some information about a woman who poisoned her husband. When the whole story came out, she admitted that she was tired of the marriage. Did the man beat her? No. Did he cheat on her? No. Didnt he provide for the famly? he did. What was the main problem? she realized that she just didnt want to continue(after 3-kids) and since the man does not understand(divorce), according to the Bible, the only option was to poison him. |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by cliveland: 6:47pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
some pple sha, am not married "yet" but if we really analyse those kicking against it they dont have a clue about what its all, aged ones who have wasted their lives, i mean youth chasing shadows n now suddenly realise themselves so they want to use theor yardsticks as the bases for a good relationship, except u get there by false pretance, matrialism, economy, family n most pathetically "peeeeers" my friend married a banker i must get one myself , if u meet some1 whose weaknesses u can live n bridge on get a live man/woman its and would surely be worth ur while!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by oddz(f): 7:17pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
@cliveland i am married, have been for 4 years trust me, is not worth it. this idea of patience and love is when u decide to turn a blind eye on all the rubbish that goes on around you. not only from the man but from his family. so u saying that the people kicking against it are the ones with wasted youth, i dont agree with you. i was an accomplished single girl. i did not go looking for marriage it came to me. i dated my huband for 5years. so i believe that i have every right to comment on this topic and yeap am taking it personal . |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by TOYOSI20(f): 9:53pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
There really is no point in rushing into marriage if one isn't ready, I see people rush in and out of marriage often. If it actually means having to wait till one is in his/her 40's then so be it cos when its the right one, then the vows of marriage really actually make sense. |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Bawss1(m): 11:00pm On Jan 17, 2008 |
A little off topic but just wanted to know what y'all think; was Mr and Mrs Adam and Eve married? |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by ade4real(f): 6:40am On Jan 18, 2008 |
Marriage is not necessary.I use to think it was necessary before i got married.I dated my husband for 10years before we got married.Got married @ 24yrs,we've been married for 2 yrs.The thing is most guys pretend while still courting but,when married,you'll surely see there true colour.My advice to anyone out there especially ladies is to get busy,have a job or business or something to bring money for you so ,you wont have to rely on any man.Some are lucky and some are unlucky in marriages but,trying it out will be the best option and if it doesn't work out for you,abeg opt out.No be do or die affair. |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by almondjoy(f): 8:37am On Jan 18, 2008 |
Marriage is never a necessity but a preference--no matter what society, culture and religion say. In the Nigerian context, marriage is a desperate measure for both men and women. Most people are programmed to get "married" in Nigeria. Not out of free will or love but out of dependence and societal pressure. Even when most are not happy, they would rather stay in an unhappy marriage fasting and praying till doomsday. Most marriages are suffering and smiling marriages in Nigeria. Marriage is only a necessity for desperate people, who chose to go into marriage for the wrong reasons. The Nigerian culture promotes a situation where women are conditioned to "depend" on men so marriage becomes a necessity out of subservience. Marriage should be an individual's pleasurable desire never a necessity.  |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by yimiton(f): 9:35am On Jan 18, 2008 |
Of course marriage is necessary, if not, God wouldn't have ordained it. I'll like to have children and a man by my side to live with, cry with, laugh with, quarrel with, love, hate and what ever. A man that will be totally mine and me totally his. This is what I think marriage entails. On the aspect of children, I definitely wouldn't want to be a single mom by choice neighter will I want to stay childless, in this context, unless I deceive myself, of course marriage is VERY VERY necessary to me and even important. |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Daman1(m): 9:48am On Jan 18, 2008 |
Life is all about giving and taking, but it's amazing that quite a lot of us are not ready to step out of our comfort zones, sacrifice here and there to make the world a better place. Marriage or better still, family forms the building units of the larger society, so if all of us were to stay as singles or individuals, what sort of communities do we get ? Marriage is good for companionship, support(help), childraising(this goes beyond just rearing children 'cos dogs too rear chidren)etc. And it is sweet as it effectivelly addresses the issue of loneliness which goes beyond sex. |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by sowura(m): 9:56am On Jan 18, 2008 |
the whole essence of marriage is to prohibit indiscriminate sex which will lead to indiscriminate procreation to ensure the sanctity of our societies. for what ever reason one chooses to get married or not i think one thing is clear. Only you can make yourself TRULY HAPPY. how u seek happinees is entirely upto u in or outside marriage. No religion PREACHES THAT marriage GUARANTEES HAPPINESS EVER. THAT WAS FABRICATED BY MAN. THROW AWAY THE MISCONCEPTION. MARRIAGE IS ONLY A MEANS TO AN END. |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by sowura(m): 10:02am On Jan 18, 2008 |
I find it difficult to understand y people talk about love like its supposed to last for ever without basing my assumptions on any scientific proof i think it is too obvious that love is not everlasting. And that is why people with experience tell u that love is not just enough in marriage. they infact lay more emphasis on honesty, trust, patience, tolerance, faith and so on. |
| Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by cecegorz(m): 10:54am On Jan 18, 2008 |
@poster @Oziomatv Commitment-shy people are afraid, and will always be afraid of marriage. it's just that u don't want to be responsible to a steady family. responsibility is the key word. marriage is not for selfish irresponsible people who will want to enjoy all the benefits of marriage outside of it. tell yourself the truth! Take it or leave it, if u don't want to marry don't go near the opposite sex for conjugals or else it will hook you in the throat one day. If u make yourself an Eunuch, good for you. stop being a hypocrite! Sorry for some ladies who spend their youth frolicking with all manner of men, only to go beyond marriageable age and then start castigating marriages. You can't eat your cakes and have it, u know. |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply)
Help My Mother-inlaw Asked My Husband To Walk Out Of Our Marriage / What Can You Never Forgive Your Parent For? / You Need These Shoes In Your Collection
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 78 |