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How Necessary Is Marriage? - Family (6) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Necessary Is Marriage? (11943 Views)

Poll: Marriage is necessary in the Nigerian culture?

True: 88% (117 votes)
False: 11% (15 votes)
This poll has ended

Is Marriage A Measure Of Success In Life? / Is Marriage An Achievement? / Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by mendax: 10:53am On Feb 01, 2008
why are we all beating around the bush?
if u are matured enough or atleast sane, d moment u start having urges u cant control thats an indicator u SHOULD get married. unless of course u want 2 be wacking off on every lady or man u come around; just like they do in the goat kingdom!!
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Nellyf: 3:43pm On Feb 01, 2008
I think marraige is not for everyone. As a christain, If you can abstain from fornication and you enjoy singleness, then you dont have a problem but if you're like me that cant stay alone plese pray that you marry because it's sweet. I'm a witness.
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by daynike(f): 6:37pm On Feb 01, 2008
Marriage,let think very well beforetaking decisions,marriage is not just aplace that you enter and come out like that.You have to think about the family,your man himself ,how tolerance can you be.Think about how possessive the family are towards your man in order to avoid future problems.Atimes is good to remain single than to get married,think of your freedom,think about the peace and war of marriage ,how wicked can people be,think about the difficulty period.Well i want to belive with God everything is possible.Life they say is full of ups and down, Someone mention about getting married to your best male friend.Actually I have a male friend who I would have love to get married to but i don't think it's possible.He has a girlfriend and i have a fiance,so tell me how that is possible.I get scared of marriage not that i don't want it but i'm always scared,because there is this question that do come to my mind that ,is this guy the rright guy for me ,i'm sure he is not deciving me,how will parents,family behave to me after wedding.What i intend doing is to be prayerful and be smart and not oversmart
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by mnavy(m): 12:32am On Feb 02, 2008
am newly married and i know its challenging.its take total obedience to the will of God for it to work,In the faith i belong its not till death do us part, but for time and eternity.
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by nikitareal(f): 3:28am On Feb 03, 2008
hw necessary is an answer to dis question? undecided
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by nikitareal(f): 3:31am On Feb 03, 2008
ges,an answer is necessary,anyway, without any story,marriage is necessary.lol
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by cecegorz(m): 10:52am On Feb 06, 2008
@OziomaTV
It is highly hypocritical of you to quote that Jesus and some of his disciples did not marry but you did not point out that they were not co-habiting nor jumping from one skirt to another.

I,ve said it before that most pple castigate legal marriage, meanwhile they go into it illegally (no bride price, no nothing), so that at any slightest challenge, they'll run away.

The Necessity of marriage is determined by you as an individual. it is never compulsory.
if you don't want to be responsible to somebody else's life, good for you. But then, shun it with all it's benefits just like the good old Roman catholic priests.

Never. repeat never judge the marriage institution because of what your uncle or neighbour is experiencing in theirs.

Truth is 'HE that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour from the Lord'
When u find one, u'll understand that life is indeed BEAUTIFUL!
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by g4d4f1(m): 3:27pm On Feb 06, 2008
Just before I read through the various posts.One factor that is constant here is happiness.Right? Because there are always two sides to a coin we might unconvincingly say marriage can either bring you happiness or sadness.These same emotions are guaranteed to be felt even when single so my rationale is; married or not you're bound to experience the same emotional turbulence as humans.Furthermore I think this same rule applies to most aspect of our lives.

Therefore marriage is a decision of choice,choice by pressure,situation,tradition,convinience,obligation, love, companionship,procreation and so many other reasons.I was made to understand one can't always have what one wants rather one should learn to see the advantages of one's situation and get on with life, If we so could hold our destiny in our hands then there'll be a world's population as rich as Bill Gates.
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by ekiimogun(f): 3:21am On Feb 07, 2008
actually the bible says it is better not to marry if you can stay away from sexual sin but if you can't then marry. the reason given is that a single man or woman with no responsibilities to a wife/husband/kids has more time for the work of God.

1 Corinthians 7:6-8
"6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by dantolee(m): 6:57pm On Feb 09, 2008
look we all know what the bible says about multiplication, cool, but i also say, its a matter of choice!, if you know you can't handle it, then don't even bother, let some one else populate the earth, there's too much of us already, bear in mind i give no excuse to go a-sleeping-around, but c'mon we all know not every one excels at the marriage and family thing, in fact, it should be a crime for some people to get married from what i've seen, so if u marry and do a good job raising a family, maintaining the T-L-C then, KUDOS!!!! but if you decide not to bother, you are doing the world a favour, so KUDOS, but if u are some JACKASS!! who jumps in head first and blunders everything, pray i never meet u!!!!! angry "it is not by force, neither will u die by not marrying" there is no trial by error in it, u either suck at it, or u don't


seriously, don't ruin someone's future by making ur mistake!!!!!!

Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by okpo0002: 7:48pm On Feb 12, 2008
The reason why there are issues in marriages today is because there is not enough competition. Guys, if your wife is acting up, marry a second one. Competition breeds efficiency. grin grin

I am joking O! before the ladies curse my unborn children
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Soundmind(m): 9:00am On Feb 13, 2008
Marriage is very very necessary.
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by sydriq(m): 7:11pm On Feb 17, 2008
In nigeria just like getting an education is, so is marriage.
the most important aspect of getting married has never been explained. We are expected as children to grow up, go to school, to get a job, get married, have children(Just live daddy, Granpa, great granpa and the one before and so on) and the vicious cycle continue.
But that is not why God created man, there was a purpose in mind. Read in Genesis, He gave the very purpose for man before man was created and brought man to the garden but He saw that Man been alone was not GOOD , so it tells us that there is power in companionship (one chases a THOUSAND but TWO TEN THOUSAND) . But it is not an obligation rather a right which can chose to utilise as the apostle Paul rightly said if you cannot hold yourself get married, though being single would be better(Paraphrase).
So marriage should be understood.
It is a choice.
Another thing, it depends on the things you said when you were not married and who you walk with because the information you have creates a mind set which would determine the outcome of your life.
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by sydriq(m): 7:20pm On Feb 17, 2008
OzioTv Peter was married or you have not read of were Jesus healed his mother inlaw of high fever?
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Miracle83(m): 11:43am On Feb 19, 2008
Marriage is necessary because of the way man was created.It is necessary for mans continuation and to overcome his environment.
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Seun(m): 11:50am On Feb 19, 2008
But you can make babies without marriage!
A prospective mother doesn't even have to sleep with
the father,; all she needs is a sperm bank.

A prospective father can hire a surrogate mother.
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by oluomok(m): 4:14pm On Feb 19, 2008
Marriage is the only Institution where certifiacte is given on the the day of UNION,
But it beyound wht we can say hoo let me jet married without having wht it takes to marry. let me just mention few on wht it takes to may
(a) Spiritual Matuarity: ablilty to ge extal lenght with God concerning ur Home
(b)
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by oluomok(m): 4:28pm On Feb 19, 2008
Marriage is the only Institution where certifiacte is given on the the day of UNION,
Nowonder The Holy Bilble says "he who find A wife find A good thing"
But it beyound wht we can say hoo let me jet married it is a good thing without having wht it takes to marry. let me just mention few on wht it takes to may
(a) Spiritual Maturity: ablilty to ge extal lenght with God concerning your Home
(b) Physical Maturity: Ablity to thing and make a profiatble decisions
(c) Financial Control, Most ment think money is the Life wire in marriage, NO wht u do wht what u have matters alot, that is why most guys refuse to marry to day b'cos they want to have the whole world b4 getting married
(d)Mental Control
(e) Social/Moral balance.

NOTE TO: Anyone reading this

Always shine ur eyes b4 making a decision b'cause a partner u find today detarmines ur future

AND A ADVICE ALL LADIES NOT TO LOOK AFTER MONEY BUY SEE BEYOUND THAT RATHER SEE WHO GOD FEARING THAT MAN IS SPIRITUAL. FOR THIS ALONE ALL OTHER THING SHALL BE ADDED.

FOR THE GUYS I KWN I KWN WHT U WANT BUT PLS THINK WELL. IT IS A LIFE TIME ISSUE.

AND I PRAY THAT PROVIDE ADAM A HELP MEET WILL PROVIDES FOR US (AMEN)
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Rafaell(m): 2:56pm On Feb 20, 2008
Like one said, marriage is a necessary evil.
Its an institution many itch to go into, but once in most wanto jump out faster than their shadow.
But in all, we have to accept it in good faith. Just make de best out of your own peculiar situation.

Miss World, I dont think you need any help from anybody except urself.
Anybody offering you is just compounding your problems for you.
The only two options available to you are:
1) Wait for that ur heart, his the one you love. But first ensure he's really committed to you.
2) Since U are still young & probably beautiful - from de tone of your statement - forget about marriage thoughts
for now and focus on something else, education, career, work, sports, anything, and REMAIN BEAUTIFUL.

Wish U de best.
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by olili: 3:39pm On Feb 21, 2008
Ginnie dat was a nice one .
the best option is to move on with ur life,a lots of young ladies are living in hell in the name marriage because they are scared of what pple will say .
the point most ladies refuse to understand is that they are not the only FAILURE The so called MARRIED BACHELOR are also FAILURE.
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by OpeLovely(f): 6:25pm On Feb 21, 2008
Marriage is necessary but at the same time, its not meant for everyone. Some people are commitment-phobes so its better for them to be single than marry now and divorce an hour later. But its God's desire for everybody to have a partner.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
It is not good for man to be alone,
God saw that Adam was lonesome hence the creation of Eve,
Woe to any man who is falling and doesn't have another to lift him up,

Paul said if you can't be like him, go and marry,
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Elgaxton(m): 3:44pm On Feb 22, 2008
The Question is:

Why do you wanna marry? If you are marrying cos pple sey so na him be sey e don be for you.

Never ever ever ever rush into marriage cos pple are pressuring you to do so. The pressure in Marriage

fit burst steel pipe open.
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by manutayo(m): 4:38pm On Feb 22, 2008
marriage from the point of view of an african is sacred and is ties to so many donts
since we be black make we c am that way
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by mute4real: 4:07pm On Feb 23, 2008
Whether we like it or not. Marriage is not for everybody. And not everybody will get married. BUT if you r one of those that will get married. Let it be a happy one. Life is already hard enough without marriage.
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Gamine(f): 7:32pm On Feb 23, 2008
if u want to die cold n alone

Marriage is not necessary

infact AVOID IT!!!!
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by Morocco: 6:30am On Feb 24, 2008
HOW NECESSARY IS MARRIAGE?

The whole rave about meeting the right person and settling down i do not get, how many married couples are actually happy? especially the younger couples, I would like to hear your opinions,

In his book "The Institution Called Marriage" by Ayo Akanbi (2004), Marriage is not a contract, but rather a spiritual agreement that binds two people together. It is the union of two independent persons (male and female) from probably unequal traditional, social, moral, financial,spiritual and other background in an inter-dependent covenant relationship with each other. It is a refining process, it is about giving and sharing, learning and living.

Marriage is like building, it is a process, and the best way to get the best out of it is to go into a well defined and purpose drive relationship. You have to know what you want in your man or as the case maybe your woman. It is not the good looks or steady job, no, it is something deeper that connects the guy and the gal, that makes them glow and shine and motivates them to be the best for each other.

And yes, many people are happy in their marriages. Because they learn to compromise and accept each other.
And you can and will be happy in your marriage too, however I would encourage you to write out your marriage objective and the the requirements ( call it your marital mission statement), let this be your guide in your courtship, and once it starts getting serious review the mission statement with each other. Sort out the area of disagreement and once you both agree on moving on to the altar, jointly rewrite your mission statement. And you need realise that God instituted marriage and as such you can not take him out of it. Look for Ayo Akanbi's book and you will be happy you did.
Good luck.
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by choco4life(m): 3:07pm On Feb 26, 2008
Seun:

But you can make babies without marriage!
A prospective mother doesn't even have to sleep with
the father,; all she needs is a sperm bank.

A prospective father can hire a surrogate mother.

Common. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . we r not there yet? you must be talking about civilized societies.
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by banni: 4:25pm On Feb 26, 2008
In Nigeria an unwed woman is looked upon badly .
That is just the culture.
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by PrincessMo(f): 12:13am On Apr 28, 2008
The reason for gettin married shouldn't be for
havin babies or because u're being pressured.
I want to get married because I'm willing to commit my
body and entire being to another human being without
reserve. Not everyone has to be married!
Two people can be happy, have children if
they wish and have a lasting, powerful relationship
without being "married". It's what's right for who.
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by carnal: 2:46pm On Jul 15, 2008
@luuvbuuh, who tell u say young couple no de happi?
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by luckyme9(f): 5:49am On Jul 16, 2008
I disagree with Aladunni's perspective of flies at the window. Your marriage is what you make it. It lies in both hands "husband and wife". To have a happy marriage my sister, you have to be very very patient and ditermined to start with. I am a woman and I believe that women will have to give more to have a successfull marriage. Endurance, respect, honesty, dedication, hard work and to know when to ignore some things helps a long way. You have to be deterined that your marriage is not a TRY OUT. As some people say. I can keep going ,
Re: How Necessary Is Marriage? by ellagold(m): 2:32am On Apr 20, 2010
In my own humble opinion marriage is by CHOICE not by FORCE, unfortunately a lot of people especially ladies see it as do or die affair.It should not be so

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