Oracleee:
■ Why not try therapy? Truth is gambling is a big issue most folks even abroad do battle with. It's pretty hard to come out of it because the more he tries, the deeper he might fall into it. I think therapy is the best way out, and it works. I do have a friend who was so deep into gambling that a once upon a time good looking dude is now reduced to a miscreant.
■ For those saying this is Nigeria and therapy isn't feasible, get off it. Alot of folks have gone through it and it works.

1. Therapy for her or therapy for him?

2. Did therapy work for your friend who is no longer good looking?

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

stop taking up his responsibilities. That had made him irresponsible.

jeromestarks:
Op, you chose your calamity with your own hands.
Many good men approached you when you were younger and beautiful but you pushed them all away. You played some like football. You rejected good men for this guy because he showered you with money.

Now you're regretting. You wished you had accepted one of those good men who doesn't have iphones then. Now you wish they came back. You have lost your chance for a happy home!


This is the price you pay for chasing good men away and taking their love for granted.
You are paying with your happiness.

Everyone pays eventually.

So you were there when she was chasing the good men away?

Abeg if you have nothing reasonable to write then don't comment, instead of jumping into baseless and illogical conclusions

Kobojunkie:
If you believe He will never make a responsible husband, why then do you ask her to keep working OK him and pushing him? Basically, you ask her to keep pouring water into what you already consider a basket, why?

I also stated that she should continue talking to him for a positive change because I know that as far as he remain a gambler, he will not be responsible.

But he was gambling before u marry him?

ElijahIme1992:
loooooooooooooooooool madam leave all dis yarning, just dey pray one day bet9ja go pay am.... Ur husband dey diversify him income, na investor him be one dey him investment go pay.... U women una too dey complain....

you stop deciving urself,it may never pay......to be betting with his salary is not investment,stop misleadin ppl here.

Kobojunkie:
1. Therapy for her or therapy for him?

2. Did therapy work for your friend who is no longer good looking?

Therapy for him not the wife. But the wife will orchestrate it as a mad man won't know he his mad but those around him.


Therapy did worked for my friend, he didn't stop once but along the line he stopped after a while. He his picking his life back together and it's not an over night thing. Last time we spoke, he his doing better and instead of gambling, he his making long time investments.

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

Are none of his parents alive? Does he not have any (elderly) God fearing person ( elders, in-laws, pastor, imam etc) that he respects or listen to?

You see, situation like this should be made open to one of such people or even your parents/elders if you are legally married but not in a way that would demonise the man - he is your husband.

Are you a Christian? Take it to God in prayer and fasting. I want to believe there was a time your marriage was sweet, even if there was not, go to God in repentance and surrender your life & family to Him. The hearts of kings are in God's hands not to talk of your husband.
God bless you and your home.

Kobojunkie:
for how long did your sister receive beating for before the man stopped beating her?

By the way, if it were your own wife beating you up for that long, will you have endured the same as your sister did??

Well, I don't support beating but people take challenges upon themselves inorder to achieve a certain goal. She did it and it worked for her.

dollytino4real:
my sister, we plenty inside dis kind marriage wahala but kip ur mind of him n face ur kids as i am doing to survive here!! My own not gambling but money dey finish but he reach house

Where una dey see all these kind men marry sef?

dollytino4real:
my sister, we plenty inside dis kind marriage wahala but kip ur mind of him n face ur kids as i am doing to survive here!! My own not gambling but money dey finish but he reach house

I think you should find out maybe he had borrowed money from those devilish loan people around his office or in his place of work. If no, stop taking up his responsibilities.

Elokristi:
■ I believe dialogue should be your last resort here,
▪︎try to give him reasons why that habit should come to an abrupt end, while at it make sure you don't raise voice to avoid violence.
▪︎Talk to him like a mother, remember to treat him well that day and serve him his favourite dish before engaging him.
▪︎Tell him about the dangers gambling and how the economy is no longer funny for an average Joe not to talk of a whole family.
▪︎Give him business ideas and how you people need to start a project that will take the family out of poverty, try this and you will see him turn a new leaf. Me wey dey give this advice never marry oo, still in my early twenties, hopefully you will take this advice from me your younger brother.

1. So instead of raising her children, she will now focus on raising an addict , sort of like trying to fill a basket with water all so as to placate folks like you who would rather not let her do what is best for her and her sanity.

It's a pity that you are facing this kind situation. Dear, you just need to keep your head up high.. talk to him or consult his relatives on it if he persist to change. Finally, you need to endure and pray. Divorce is not best option.

alyarmouk:
Hmmm...I don't like commenting on issues like this cuz I feel it's just an internet story...but I decided to comment on this because I'm in the same situation and I am the man with the gambling habit and my wife runs the home from her small shop I opened for her. I had issue with my job n has been on suspension for over 1 year but I still rcv salary... Gambling addiction is bad xpcially sports betting...I cnt help it.
But here is what I do, maybe your husband can borrow a leaf from it.
Whenever a money comes into his hand he should divide into 2 and give you half ..for upkeep. And he shdnt play every game he sees...he shld be methodical with his bets. I bet huge (50k+) on 2-4 odds and bet 500 naira and less on huge odds.. that way, he is guaranteed more wins which shld also be divided same way as explained above.
He is gambling to make money for the family, he shld just limit his gaming habits. It's hard to stop
And divorcing him is not the solution for you n for him...keep doing ur best n put him in prayer one good dey (without CUT 1) will change ur stories forever. You can write me, as I can guide him for free. I also have a group where I pay bettors 50% of their stakes back on my game if lost, and they pay me 20% if game is won. That way, it's a win win situation. God has blessed your home

What the unholy fvck did I just read?

Mrkumareze:
Well, I don't support beating but people take challenges upon themselves inorder to achieve a certain goal. She did it and it worked for her.

So how long did your sister have to endure the beatings for?

And what goal did she in fact achieve by being panel beaten for as long as she was?,

Ishilove:

So you were there when she was chasing the good men away?

Abeg if you have nothing reasonable to write then don't comment, instead of jumping into baseless and illogical conclusions

Why do u hate me so much?
What have I ever done to you?

You chose him...

Take responsibility for your choice.

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

Ok.

If after speaking with him, he still doesn't want to change, involve your pastor, both families etc.

kaymart:
You chose him...
Take responsibility for your choice.

So marriage na lifetime shackle?

Analysiscorner:
If after speaking with him, he still doesn't want to change, involve your pastor, both families etc.

And If all of that already failed, then what?

Weedhustler:
Ur case is different....u saw d signs early but u

Put head.

So she can't decide she has had enough?

IgOga:
Talk to him. Ask him to take you on a date or kukuma take him on a date... express your feelings

LOL.... una dey read at all?

If he is a good father then there is a soft side of him that needs to be triggered.

One thing about bad habit or addiction is that it is very difficult to handle. You can caste out a demon spirit but you can never cast out bad habit. It requires intentional actions.

This is what I advise speak with him gently see he can see where he is hurting you and the kids, if he doesn't change take a brutal action by overlooking the responsibilities in the house be it the children's welfare OR house bills. It will hurt the kids and you but sometimes you have to have a heart of steel to cause a change.

If he cares about the kids he will sit up and go hustle. He knows you will sort the bills that's why he gambles. Na who no get alternative OR see food chop dey gamble.

Take that option out of his hands. If it means you slowing down your business, slow it down

Blue86:
Pray pray pray.
Jesus gives oil of joy for mourning.

Jesus Christ said your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36 - Yet you think it makes sense to bring His name here?

all4zionlover

Gambling was described as the second worst addiction by a psychologist. He said the worst was the slot machine as it gives you instant gratification. You put a coin in and you could win a months salary in an instant rather than work hard for in a job over 30 days to earn it. He said it messes up the brain's reward system. You keep yearning to get that hit

Your husband believes if he makes a hit, his family fortune will change overnight and that you don't seem to get it. That is why he is ignoring you and is pissed with you. Truth is, when that money arrives, half or more of it would be ploughed back into gambling and all of it disappearing and never to be seen again.

Why not invite him to a meeting of Jehovah's Witnesses one day? Our meetings are very serene with a scriptural ambiance. Some of our members were once gambling addicts. There is a brother who I am close to who is now an elder.

He told me was badly addicted and was always playing pools. He later realized that God hates gambling and that it is rooted in greed and covetousness. He stopped gambling. After stopping it, he used the money he would have saved up playing pools to buy a fridge. It meant so much to him. Probably only you can know the feeling of what that meant to him.

It is over 20 years now and he has never gambled again.

Visit www.jw.org and find the Kingdom Hall closest to you

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

Divorce him

U mentioned you have no love and respect for him. Kindly correct that first if he must even listen to you. Madam , it is not greener on the other side. If you think other women are enjoying their marriage more than you is a big deception.

Becareful what you throw away and say it's not good.

If the betting enter and he wins millions will you be here complaining?
As you lay your bed please lie ooo

He go hammer one day and make it up to you..just dey pray.

zakkxx:
■Gambling is a spirit u cannot win your husband by not giving him food! Let him not be violent on u!
■Pray to God about that spirit! He will be very! Remember how u will treat your stubborn son, do that! May God heal your home!

1. Gambling is a spirit that needs to be fed with money that is meant for your children?

2. Pray to God? If you found out your wife was a gambler, would you also sit praying to God while she gambles all that money away?

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

bear in mind, your husband has psychological problems and needs to see a therapist for his gambling addiction. I know that it might be very faint now but you still love your husband and it will grow if he sits up especially financially. What you need is a solution

Make enquiries on where he can go for the therapy sessions, they're mostly expensive but try

Save up the money for the therapy sessions

Have a heart to heart talk with him telling him about his gambling addiction and how it's affecting you, the kids and you're already tired of the marriage and you please want him to change. By now he should be showing signs of remorse

Tell him you want him to go for therapy because you realise it's an addiction and it can be controlled. You want the man you married to come back to you.

Once he agrees, book an appointment and follow him to appointments if you want.

Marriage is a battle that cannot be won by one partner alone, the two heads must come together. Sometimes it's mostly fun, sometimes there are wars but that initial love that led to marriage must always be worked on in good time and bad times. I know it's not easy on you but just try at least for the sake of the children. The problem will be if he refuses to accept that he has a problem because then, you'll have to check your options. Nobody will say then that you didn't try your best to save this marriage. Ego won't work