@chiozor

how old are u?
how foolish are u?

@OP

infertility is not a diagnosis till after one year of coexistence with uninterrupted sex.

and someone above said it,any woman wey dey get belle around her menses naa winsh.those are actually the safe days,before and after ur menses depending on the length of ur cycle.

i guess the person u are talking about is u and i advise u go consult with a doctor and leave dat babalawo and his ancient theories.

@ chizor i owe you one bottleS, pls tell them, even though i dont support the husband

Eiregirl:

I hope that everything works out for her. I don't understand men like that!!!! Did he marry her because he thought she was a baby making machine or because he loved her & wanted to spend the rest of his life with her?  

Procreation is important in marriage.

Can a woman live with an infertile man= NO

Some people marry because they don't want children out of wedlock.

I think man is suspecting his wife did an abortion that affected her womb.

The couple should  go for comprehensive medical checkup.

emmatok:

Procreation is important in marriage.

Can a woman live with an infertile man= NO

Some people marry because they don't want children out of wedlock.

I think man is suspecting his wife did an abortion that affected her womb.

The couple should  go for comprehensive medical checkup.

Women are so selfish to think we marry them only because we love them alone, who doesnt want kids?

Let her get on her kneels fast, and remain on her kneels until their is a shift, If she keep quite, the enemy will have a fill-day. I pray that God will raise up on her behalf.

[size=20pt]Why are people (especially men) asserting the menstrual period is a safe period for ALL women?? Men, Una dey menstruate ne?? For your information, being safe during menses doesn't always apply. Just like menstruation once a month doesn't apply to ALL women. Some women menstruate twice a month, depending on their cycle. Such a woman might not be safe at the end of her menstruation.  When it comes to menstrual issues, health officials and women are the authority, ok

And this post is not about me. I have my issues, like any normal human being. But thankfully, it doesn't involve a husband threatening me in this horrible way!!! I have enough load to carry already, I don't think I can survive the type of emotional torture that my friend is going through and still come online and write lucidly. She's strong emotionally. I'm not, biko. I can't fit shout!!![/size]

@kushi what is the main reason people get married, love comes and goes but kids remain. we should not be hypocritical about marriage. if marriage is all about love,love and love, why divorce cases are high these days? still i dont support the husband, as someone just said, its their problem not her problem, they should solve the problem  together

^^^
He doesn't see it like that. It's HER problem, according to him.
@agbenyiess
Thank u!

Eiregirl:

@ lesbianboy: How is the man so sure that he is not the infertile one?

Wait and see him impregnate another woman.

If the doctor said nothing is wrong with your friend, that means the man has to go for medical check up.

The lady should avoid food that cause low fertility in woman.
She should take more water, 7-8cups of water per day.
Exercise her body regular.
Eat more fruits
Above all be prayerful. God will do it in His own time.

Iranoladun:

@poster
Your friend is in a love-less marriage. Husband is a weakling who marry her only as a baby-making machine & probably as a cook not a wife or a patner.

If her husband is threathening to get a concubine few months into the marriage then she's got bigger issues to contend with.

Oju ti o ba ni kale ki ti aaro se ipin. The marriage has no solid foundation and this may be a wake-up call for her to consider if she still wanna stick to this guy who is already planning to practice for better for stay for worse vamoose!

She should however persuade him to go for a comprehensive fertility test to be sure all is well from his end as well. In the interim, let her see a gyn and play the waiting game to see whether shallow hubby will carry out is threat

And your father married your mother for what? Not to give birth to you?

divalishis:

[size=20pt]Why are people (especially men) asserting the menstrual period is a safe period for ALL women?? Men, Una dey menstruate ne?? For your information, being safe during menses doesn't always apply. Just like menstruation once a month doesn't apply to ALL women. Some women menstruate twice a month, depending on their cycle. Such a woman might not be safe at the end of her menstruation.  When it comes to menstrual issues, women are the authority, ok

And this post is not about me. I have my issues, like any normal human being. But thankfully, it doesn't involve a husband threatening me in this horrid way!!! Because I don't think I can survive such emotional torture. I can't fit shout!!![/size]

People change and women included. The man may have been supporting hoping for the best and now. Tell her to divorce if the man insist on having children from her. Put ur brother in the man's shoes. Be objective abeg! The man needs children!

OP,

stop trying to scatter your friend's marriage by posting such nonsense here. Who made you guidance counsellor over your friend's marriage?

That is how you modern women go about gossiping left right and centre. Is your friend's marriage your problem? Why don't you leave your friend and her husband to sort out their issues instead of coming here to post arrant nonsense?

@Ferdii
I never said he doesn't deserve to have children. Shebi it was to help her out that I came to NL for helpful suggestion. The story is complicated sha. My only grouse is that he is not showing her the support she deserves because how will they get pregnant when they are fighting instead of . . . .ahem?
Also, she is a gem. She is hardworking, neat, brainy, can cook a mean pot of soup + he deflowered her (so he shouldn't even think she aborted in the past). I feel it's just a challenge that they should tackle together. . .the wedding is not even up to a year o!!![/size]

[size=20pt]@stagger[/size]
[size=22pt]Are you high on gutter stench 
Kpele o, Mr Judge! What nonsense have I posted?? What is wrong with seeking solutions for a friend who is more like a sister?? How am I trying to scatter their marriage by asking for tips on how she can get pregnant?? Does this issue look like what she can shoulder alone, when the man who is supposed to be her confidant you is acting like an A-hole?? Please, shift abeg. You must be a gossiper too to have clicked on this post! Olofofo! Mttttsssseeeewwww![/size]

[size=24pt]Maybe you're even the man in question, hence your irrational anger and self righteousness at poor moi. In case you are the man; listen to me and LISTEN REAL GOOD. She didn't tie your legs to force you down the alter, she didn't trick you down the aisle, she didn't lie to you that it was appendicitis operation she did, she was open to you about EVERYTHING regarding her OP and you marched down that alter with your two eyes wide open. So don't come here and tell me stories about me being the one scattering una marriage.
The day you decided to tell your wife you are impregnating a concubine, is the day you broke the code of silence that should be between the two of you, because she will not "siddon look" waiting for you to bring your dirty, venereal infested concubine into HER matrimonial home!!! Shioooooor [/size]

Her Hubby Threatened To Impregnate Another Woman. . . .
« on: Yesterday at 02:33:21 PM »

I have this friend. She's hardworking, decent and down to earth. She had an operation to remove a benign growth from her womb shortly before her wedding. This growth was causing serious pains for her, thus, it had to be removed.
Before the wedding, she never hid her health issues from her husband and he didn't seem bothered with the fact that she was having an invasive surgery that involved her reproductive system. In fact, she always used to praise him that he stood by her when he could have walked away. BTW this growth was no fault of hers. She never went through indiscriminate abortions, neither was she the type to hop from one bed to another.

A few months after the wedding, she is yet to get pregnant. Her husband is angry and irritated with her and has threatened to impregnate another girl if she doesn't get a solution to her problem. He claims their childlessness is due to the operation she had. (Her gynaecologist has checked her postOP, he says she's OK).

Also, it seems she has a short cycle and can only get pregnant at the end of her monthly flow. Her husband loathes blood with a passion and doesn't even want a menstruating woman standing near him, talk less of them having intimacy
Please NLs, what do you advise??

Well, to be candid, the woman must have had a leiomyoma, also known as fibroid and this might be the growth she was talkn about. However the short duration of the menstrual flow means that there is a tiny window of opportunity to hit the right target as regards making love at the right time to maximise conception. However, unknown to many Nigerians, most cases of infertility are as a result of low sperm count from the MALE not the woman, yet the women keep getting blamed for it. The man should himself undergo a seminal fluid analysis to ascertain if he really can impregnate a woman and not brag about impregnating some chic out there only to end up with another embarrasment.
@poster, encourage ur man to go for a full reproductive check up and visit your Gynaecologist together to work for a solution to the problem. Also bear in mind that as long as its not up to six months that u havent conceived, u cant be classified as having primary infertility. but like suggested, drag ur man to the Gynaecologist.

why do people always say " they should see there pastor for counselling? "

as in really, pastor?

a woman tries that stunt with me, i will pack her bags and move her to the pastor or her father's house.

rubbish. of all people to have invade your privacy its a pastor.


thats why u people just never get it, ur brains are enslaved. the MOFO u calling pastor, what makes him qualified to be a counsellor? the same money grubbing, smartass twunts who are holier than the God they claim to serve?    

if u know whats good for u, i suggest u erase that rubbish notion. anyway sha, e go get who u go follow try that one na, maybe a fellow mumu like u wey u marry.


u nor see any reasonable adult with good grounds and standing experience wise to cousel u, na pastor? shout alleluia o


its similar to all these retards who ask their boyfriend-less freinds for relationship advise, or those who ask divorcee/single mothers for advice on how to run their own marriages.
blind man asking blind man for directions

Quote from: Eiregirl on Yesterday at 02:08:52 PM
I hope that everything works out for her. I don't understand men like that!!!! Did he marry her because he thought she was a baby making machine or because he loved her & wanted to spend the rest of his life with her?


Na all of the above  

@Josh316
Thanks a lot. I'll tell her that, Though I don't know if he'll go with her sha, cause he has already stated she's the one with the problem. Is there a way to know how successful a growth removal is, cos the hospital where she did the OP isn't telling her much. They are also hurrying her to get pregnant because the growth might regrow again if she doesn't!

First, i dont think the poster framed this story. meanwhile the lady in question sholud be prayerful and as well relax, in the heat of all this pressure, it will even be more difficult to concieve . These are part of huddles we face especially for the first three to six years in marriage when the couples were not informed properly on marriage issues. the mariage is really too early for all this. let her pray!

@OP

i aint attacking u nor ur friend,the whole ovulating aroung menses just sounds babalawoish to me.spooky crap fom a consulting room filled with cheap props that makes it look like dey actually communicate with other worlds.

before ur friend husband begin do gragra,he better go for sperm test as person yarn,or he go just marry another woman see say dat one sef no fit get belle.i think the stats in naija say like 40% infertility cases are the fault of the man.

if u think marriage is about having kids,hav u a nice chick,straff her silly,no commitments,make she just born.

to the men,how wld u feel if the girl of ur dreams told u,no marriage,she just wants ur seeds to germinate into fruits in her ?

@op, blame gej

Thanks a lot. I'll tell her that, Though I don't know if he'll go with her sha, cause he has already stated she's the one with the problem. Is there a way to know how successful a growth removal is, cos the hospital where she did the OP isn't telling her much. They are also hurrying her to get pregnant because the growth might regrow again if she doesn't!

Well, in my candid professional opinion, the hospital sounds really phoney,or the doctors havent done a good job and they are trying to confuse the lady. heres what your friend can do; Go to the hospital where the surgery was done, and ask for a referal letter to go to seek a second opinion (which is within her rights). I dont know her present location, else i'd advise on where she could go to for more professional help. However, going to a teaching hospital might pay her better or if she is in Abuja, she might try either Abuja Clinics or Diff Hospital, or Zankili Hospital which i reckon are the best private hospitals she can visit. She needs the refersl to state EXACTLY what was done during the surgery and what stage the doctors have gotten to. As for the husband, he sounds like an African man with a one-sided mentality. he has to be pressured to prove he really is still a man by going for a seminal fluid analysis. Most men usually have issues with sperm count due to their past lifestyles; smoking, drinking excessively, sleeping around and contracting STDs which he might have treated partially or poorly, or he might just be shooting blanks as in his sperm isnt as motile as it should be.
Just let your friend stop moaning and get her butt up and start doing what she can ASAP.

LOL @Topic

She cook with Garlic is very good and enhance fertility for both man and woman.

Eat food that contain Vitamin B6

sugars are bad for overall fertility but green tea is good.

^^^
Thanx and God bless. Didn't know about garlic. Will pass it on to her. And the sugar advice too!!!

@Josh316
Roger that.
Thanks and God bless. That's the kind of helpful advise I was hoping to get. We will be moving off slow butt ASAP!! It was a good hospital sha. But the second opinion advice sounds great!!

@Iranoladun
I was only being sarcastic with the dude I said it to. Cause I know babes who would lie they had another type of stomach operation and not an operation to remove a growth from their womb! We'll get good gyn doctors to see. Thanks a lot, really appreciate.


@all thanks and God bless. May we never be handed more than we can handle!!

divalishis:

@Josh316
Thanks a lot. I'll tell her that, Though I don't know if he'll go with her sha, cause he has already stated she's the one with the problem. Is there a way to know how successful a growth removal is, cos the hospital where she did the OP isn't telling her much. They are also hurrying her to get pregnant because the growth might regrow again if she doesn't!

How cud he start pointing fingers when he has'nt find out whether he himself is OK? too bad. Threat   I dont beliv the husband truely love  that mariage otherwise how cud you trhreaten someone you luv?. beside he is very immature to hav said he would impregnant another woman like he can actualy impregnant.
Yes in reality especially in our society child bearing is an important aspect of mariage. however, are there times when we espect something important to us but we never get it? hav we crusify ourselves for not getting our wants in life? No, we keep working hard towards what we want in in life. in this case the husband is just making it a case of who is wrong instead of honestly looking into the problem at hand. having confirmed the woman is  ok has he check on himself to know whether he is potent enough to produce a baby? Even thou both are confirmed Ok, we are not God. i have  a causin who got maried, they were both confirmed ok but pregnancy was not coming even when the woman became worried he assure her all is going to be well. Till the forth year then they had their first baby girl and later the second  boy.  now they are one of most happy and successful couples i 'v seen.sometimes  we hav little or no power over when children are coming , all we have to do is play our own part by keeping fit and healthy then other things will take it own place when God approves.

One thing i dont get is dis, Is the saith person here to read all this comments or you are taking it for her??


I wonder how you are going to further advice her when you've attempted that with fruitless outcome??

This is just one part of the story, the part affecting the woman, what about the man.

How long did the couple date before marriage? (this may tell why the man is in a hurry to blame his wife)
Why is impregnating another woman the last option? (I wonder ooh)
As for the fact that he hates the sight of blood, i think that's a lame excuse if he really wants a child.

@Poster, not all men are senseless and insensitive, just a few of them and I really think there is a wide communication gap between your friend and her husband.

[color=#990000][/color]

[size=15pt]@Spyker
What I can say is that their courtship was a matter of months. Though they have known each other for a very long time as distant acquaintances, they hooked up officially, started dating and got married in a very short time (I don't want to go into into specifics but meeting again+courtship+wedding was less than a year). He wanted them to have a short courtship and she went with it so she could start popping out babies before the growth returns (as the hospital advised her to do).[/size]