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Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by WackyJ1(m): 8:09pm On Feb 11, 2023
DonroxyII:
Western World has their Culture and We have our Culture..... Our Culture is Respect Based Culture ....

If We have Respect for Ourselves as a Nation, Continents and Globe, The world would have been a Better place !

The Corrections seems Harsh .... Personally, I use Respect for Wife of a Friend while I can Disrespect My Friend as I Like !

The problem is that Nigeria is focused on "Respect" without actually solving problems.

"Respect" for the sake of respect is not what moves nations forward. It is not "Respect" for the sake of respect that give you respect on the Global stage.

It is your achievements, the solutions you bring and how you've elevated the standard of living of your citizens that brings respect.

Now, you said that you use Respect for the wife of a friend, please, how does referring to your Wife's friend by the name she has borne since she came to this earth, a sign of disrespect.

8 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by DonroxyII: 8:14pm On Feb 11, 2023
WackyJ1:


The problem is that Nigeria is focused on "Respect" without actually solving problems.

"Respect" for the sake of respect is not what moves nations forward. It is not "Respect" for the sake of respect that give you respect on the Global stage.

It is your achievements, the solutions you bring and how you've elevated the standard of living of your citizens that brings respect.

Now, you said that you use Respect for the wife of a friend, please, how does referring to your Wife's friend by the name she has borne since she came to this earth, a sign of disrespect.
Bro Cultures is Cultures.... Cultures and Civilisations is an Emotional Phenomenon!

Where I come from We prostrate to greet our parents and elders to some people that's balderdash ....

I once joined an Islamic sect Ahlusuunah that states you shouldn't prostrate for nobody but God while I think about my Grandmother I simply drop them ....

Respect other people's emotions and wishes and you would be good or gtfo them if you can't can !
Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by WackyJ1(m): 8:25pm On Feb 11, 2023
DonroxyII:
Bro Cultures is Cultures.... Cultures and Civilisations is an Emotional Phenomenon!

Where I come from We prostrate to greet our parents and elders to some people that's balderdash ....

I once joined an Islamic sect Ahlusuunah that states you shouldn't prostrate for nobody but God while I think about my Grandmother I simply drop them ....

Respect other people's emotions and wishes and you would be good or gtfo them if you can't can !

People's individual emotions and wishes is not culture.

I am ready to stand before any elder of any tribe in this country to ask them whether referring to a man's wife by her name is wrong.

I have asked everyone around me including my parents and they have said there is nothing wrong.

I am ready to travel to your village to talk to your elders if need be.

7 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by DonroxyII: 8:36pm On Feb 11, 2023
WackyJ1:


People's individual emotions and wishes is not culture.

I am ready to stand before any elder of any tribe in this country to ask them whether referring to a man's wife by her name is wrong.

I have asked everyone around me including my parents and they have said there is nothing wrong.

I am ready to travel to your village to talk to your elders if need be.
Well .... Whatever Rocks Ya Boat ...Until dem plank you 2by2 for Head you no go Reset .... grin

Even if Good gestures is misinterpreted I just rendered I'm sorry and Walk Away.... next time I Correct myself in front of such fellow ..... You no get work dey fight unnecessary drama ...

I'm a Yoruba man ... there is "O" there is "e" ... e is a prefix for Respect ...
O is a Prefix for Comradeship..

Once a Female friend is Married ... I changed it to "e" to mark my respect for her marital life and Mix with "O" once we are together ....

A colleague of mine got Married to a girl in my Department she was in 300L while I was in year 2 of Masters .... Very Junior to me age ....

I started using "e"(Prefix for Respect) for Her Once she Married my Colleagues even while they were dating .... E.g Sister Ayoka, e bami ki Bro Seye ..(Sister Ayoka, help me greet seye) ...

That's Our Culture....

I could sound English by Saying "Ayoka ba mi ki Seye" .... (Ayoka, Greet seye):

Next stages of Couples gossips is gonna be on Ya Head.... Next thing is Ore re Baje(Your Friend is Disrespectful, He has been calling me by my first name ... one day one day I go change am for him ....

To avoid stories that Touches the heart ... simply Comply and Move On......

A Yoruba-Man is known for much Diplomatic-Relations na why dem call us Tortoise!

11 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by Ishilove: 10:41pm On Feb 11, 2023
So much ado about nothing.

Op, it's a cultural thing. You either get with it or get out ... of the friendship

4 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by pocohantas(f): 10:56pm On Feb 11, 2023
I don’t call any of my friends spouses by their names, male or female. I accord them that respect.

4 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by WackyJ1(m): 5:13pm On Feb 14, 2023
Ishilove:
So much ado about nothing.

Op, it's a cultural thing. You either get with it or get out ... from the friendship

Which cultures in particular?

I was allowed to call her by her first name until he did traditional wedding for her.

This is someone who has called me her padi.

2 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by Richy4(m): 5:18pm On Feb 14, 2023
WackyJ1:


Which cultures in particular?

I was allowed to call her by her first name until he did traditional wedding for her.

This is someone who has called me her padi.
So have you mapped out what she and your friend will be calling you?👿
Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by 4ward4: 5:21pm On Feb 14, 2023
He is primitive. Develop worlds calls everyone by their name. You can even call your dad , teacher and boss by their name , but do well to attach their title when you do

2 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by WackyJ1(m): 5:37pm On Feb 14, 2023
Richy4:

So have you mapped out what she and your friend will be calling you?👿

We don't talk anymore.

The guy was angry with me for renting my own hotel room in the hotel on that Friday night before the wedding. (He promised me a room to myself, I came and he put me in a room with himself and one other guy).

He didn't call me from that night until the wedding. I simply took my load and travelled back. Later I saw pictures of someone wearing the suit I was supposed to wear.

This is someone who is owning me thousands of Naira and was even still asking me to borrow him morning that Friday Afternoon.

1 Like

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by belcom10(m): 5:41pm On Feb 14, 2023
I laugh at ignorance of some people here, always comparing Western way of life with ours.

It's a sign of respect for each other family, even though you are calling her name before.

I don't think your friend is looking down on you .

Some phrase to use:

Your Madam, your woman, your wife.... or let say you visit your friend , maama, our wife.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by Richy4(m): 5:54pm On Feb 14, 2023
WackyJ1:


We don't talk anymore.

The guy was angry with me for renting my own hotel room in the hotel on that Friday night before the wedding. (He promised me a room to myself, I came and he put me in a room with himself and one other guy).

He didn't call me from that night until the wedding. I simply took my load and travelled back. Later I saw pictures of someone wearing the suit I was supposed to wear.

This is someone who is owning me thousands of Naira and was even still asking me to borrow him morning that Friday Afternoon.
Please my brother, let him be.. you are not eating from his table... He is not eating from yours... Let him be..

I will suggest that you ignore him and the money that he is owing you for now until all the euphoria of marriage dies down and he now comes back from cloud 9 to the normal earth where he inhabits... Give him 3months ok.. he will be back to the planet.

I underestimated you man.. what u did by making yourself comfortable at a hotel have renewed my respect for you.. u got some levels🤓.. carry go buddy ✔️📯💯🏅

7 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by Klass99(f): 6:19pm On Feb 14, 2023
smiley

7 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by WackyJ1(m): 6:23pm On Feb 14, 2023
Klass99:


Have you at least recovered the money he owes you or are you forfeiting it as bad debt?

I honestly don't think you did anything wrong by calling his wife her given name. I think as a people we are unnecessarily stuck up on titles and recognition in this part of the world.

I don't mind if a 4 year old calls me Klass without aunty sef. Klass is my name and titles only reinforce authority, seniority and barriers to easy relations with others.

I am forfeiting it as bad debt.

I'm not borrowing anyone money again in this life.

It's another story if the wife had a title but she doesn't.

I've known about the relationship since they started.

I am the friend that would always lend him money when others didn't without pestering him for it.

I escorted them to Onitsha for 6 hours twice when they were purchasing products so he could start a business for her.

But he did traditional marriage and suddenly I am disrespecting her by calling her her first name.

It is well.

21 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by WackyJ1(m): 6:25pm On Feb 14, 2023
Richy4:

Please my brother, let him be.. you are not eating from his table... He is not eating from yours... Let him be..

I will suggest that you ignore him and the money that he is owing you for now until all the euphoria of marriage dies down and he now comes back from cloud 9 to the normal earth where he inhabits... Give him 3months ok.. he will be back to the planet.

I underestimated you man.. what u did by making yourself comfortable at a hotel have renewed my respect for you.. u got some levels🤓.. carry go buddy ✔️📯💯🏅

Lool.

It understandable that you underestimated me.

I left a lot of details out.

I also contributed money for the best man suit that he casually gave to someone else.

He's owing me tens of thousands. I did not eat from his table but he has eaten from mine without recompense and yet he's disrespected me on top.

But I've let him go.

Let's see what happens when as you say the Euphoria comes down.

4 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by WackyJ1(m): 6:28pm On Feb 14, 2023
pocohantas:
I don’t call any of my friends spouses by their names, male or female. I accord them that respect.

So you cannot call any of your friends by their first name once they are married to someone else?

So you can call them by their first name up until the point they do their traditional wedding,

Then your friend Amarachi now becomes Amadi's wife and you can never call her by Amarachi again?

Just asking for clarification..

6 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by Klass99(f): 6:30pm On Feb 14, 2023
smiley

4 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by WackyJ1(m): 6:39pm On Feb 14, 2023
Klass99:


Lol 😂. Sorry ehn, it's like this thing really pained you. That's what happens when you are dealing with shallow minded individuals who don't understand life or lack depth and substance. If I were you, I must collect my money sha.

How would you go about collecting it?

1 Like

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by Richy4(m): 6:56pm On Feb 14, 2023
WackyJ1:


Lool.

It understandable that you underestimated me.

I left a lot of details out.

I also contributed money for the best man suit that he casually gave to someone else.

He's owing me tens of thousands. I did not eat from his table but he has eaten from mine without recompense and yet he's disrespected me on top.

But I've let him go.
Let's see what happens when as you say the Euphoria comes down.
I got you man... Just let him be...Do not call him...Let him be the first to call you...

Maybe your frequent and readily available at his beck and call might be the contributing factor here... Just claim busy even if u are not..
Let him call you like 3days before you deliberately return his call and explain how extremely busy you were...

Both of u should be booking an appointment before seeing each other because what you both share is not friendship in my opinion... Giving your suit to someone else without batting an eyelid confirms that you are not so important.. Even a difficult bride that was full of hormones on her day can not do that to her bridesmaids, camera man or cake designer..

5 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by WackyJ1(m): 7:00pm On Feb 14, 2023
Richy4:
Giving your suit to someone else without batting an eyelid confirms that you are not so important.. Even a difficult bride that was full of hormones on her day can not do that to her bridesmaids, camera man or cake designer..
[/color]

Abi.. This is the key point here.

Whenever these kinds of things occur, I wonder, the kind of madness that has to enter a man's brain for him to do what he did.

2 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by Klass99(f): 7:02pm On Feb 14, 2023
smiley

10 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by Karleb(m): 7:02pm On Feb 14, 2023
DonroxyII:
Well .... Whatever Rocks Ya Boat ...Until dem plank you 2by2 for Head you no go Reset .... grin

Even if Good gestures is misinterpreted I just rendered I'm sorry and Walk Away.... next time I Correct myself in front of such fellow ..... You no get work dey fight unnecessary drama ...

I'm a Yoruba man ... there is "O" there is "e" ... e is a prefix for Respect ...
O is a Prefix for Comradeship..

Once a Female friend is Married ... I changed it to "e" to mark my respect for her marital life and Mix with "O" once we are together ....

A colleague of mine got Married to a girl in my Department she was in 300L while I was in year 2 of Masters .... Very Junior to me age ....

I started using "e"(Prefix for Respect) for Her Once she Married my Colleagues even while they were dating .... E.g Sister Ayoka, e bami ki Bro Seye ..(Sister Ayoka, help me greet seye) ...

That's Our Culture....

I could sound English by Saying "Ayoka ba mi ki Seye" .... (Ayoka, Greet seye):

Next stages of Couples gossips is gonna be on Ya Head.... Next thing is Ore re Baje(Your Friend is Disrespectful, He has been calling me by my first name ... one day one day I go change am for him ....

To avoid stories that Touches the heart ... simply Comply and Move On......

A Yoruba-Man is known for much Diplomatic-Relations na why dem call us Tortoise!

Bros, what you just described here has nothing to do with Yoruba culture.

It's your preference. You even use "e" for women in relationships? C'mon! undecided

There is no place in Yoruba culture that recommends what you are practicing.

It's just your preference!

There are street senior sisters of mine that have gotten married and have kids, I still call them what I used to call them before they were married.

14 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by Richy4(m): 7:11pm On Feb 14, 2023
WackyJ1:


Abi.. This is the key point here.

Whenever these kinds of things occur, I wonder, the kind of madness that has to enter a man's brain for him to do what he did.

It is hormone induced day buddy...You as the groom would want your day to be perfect and memorable... Nothing should go wrong.. but most times it does...

That's why it is necessary for a groom to surround himself with good friends... not one or two but three or more... Because if he( the groom)screams at one of the groomsmen, the others might have good words to calm him down...and also speak to the one that got the third degree burns... I guess you were the one that got the third degree burn grin cheesy

2 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by pocohantas(f): 7:51pm On Feb 14, 2023
WackyJ1:


So you cannot call any of your friends by their first name once they are married to someone else?

So you can call them by their first name up until the point they do their traditional wedding,

Then your friend Amarachi now becomes Amadi's wife and you can never call her by Amarachi again?

Just asking for clarification..

This is basic English. Don’t stress me if you missed it. Once again, I can’t call my FRIEND’S SPOUSE, FRIEND’S SPOUSE!

Your chochocho is too much!

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by WackyJ1(m): 8:12pm On Feb 14, 2023
pocohantas:


This is basic English. Don’t stress me if you missed it. Once again, I can’t call my FRIEND’S SPOUSE, FRIEND’S SPOUSE!

Your chochocho is too much!

You're an insane person.

What kind of childish infantile moronic female is this.

If you do not have the mental bandwith to engage in a logical discussion or defend your points in a rational manner then leave this place and go and find your other babies to play with in the Romance section.

29 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by WackyJ1(m): 8:14pm On Feb 14, 2023
Klass99:


He was your friend na, you would know best how to get it back. I have recovered money from guys who were owing me in different ways;

1. I told one I will show up at his office and create such an embarrassing scene he would be ashamed to show his face at work for weeks - and it worked, even though I don't think I had the guts to do what I threatened.

2. I told another one a true story about how my neighbour was murdered over money he owed some people and his murder was staged as a suicide. My intent was not to scare him but caution him about OPM (other people's money). In his case I was ready to forfeit the money after sharing the story, but surprisingly he paid me 24 hours later.

3. My friend got her money back from her male cousin by publicly embarrassing him at social functions and family gatherings. She would just ask to everyone's hearing, where is my 100k or when am I getting back this 100k you borrowed.

I have never taken money from anyone and not paid them back, so I think the good will I build and extend to others, comes back to me. These guys could have said do your worse and I won't be able to do anything but forfeit and move on. I always make an effort to recover, leave it to God is not my default reaction, it is a last resort.


These are very interesting suggestions. Thank you.

Seems like the threat of public embarrassment is the common denominator amongst all.
Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by pocohantas(f): 8:14pm On Feb 14, 2023
WackyJ1:


You're an insane person.

What kind of childish infantile moronic female is this.

If you do not have the mental bandwith to engage in a logical discussion or defend your points in a rational manner then leave this place and go and find your other babies to play with in the Romance section.

More rants! Na your type dey quick get high bp. Now I see why your friend cautioned you. You talk too much.

7 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by WackyJ1(m): 8:23pm On Feb 14, 2023
pocohantas:


More rants! Na your type dey quick get high bp. Now I see why your friend cautioned you. You talk too much.

You're the petulant female child that thrives off of attention.

You have no logical contribution to the conversation but you feel the need to insert yourself into it.

I asked you several questions, and even added a disclaimer "Just asking for clarification", and instead of replying in way that encourages further discuss, you've decided to derail the conversation into ad hominems.

I have been polite in responding to everyone who replied this thread. I have asked others questions as well and you're the only one who has replied like a local fish seller at the market.

You lack the mental capacity, depth of thought, and emotional intelligence to deserve my further response.

You're a prime example of the kind of fungus thas infested and derailed the quality of this site.

This is my last response to you.

Anything further you say will be the babblings of someone who's entire life depends on making irrelevant comments in Nairaland.

32 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by pocohantas(f): 8:24pm On Feb 14, 2023
WackyJ1:



This is my last response to you.


It better be. Before you give yourself hypertension. cheesy cheesy

4 Likes

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by NoToPile: 8:53pm On Feb 14, 2023
Nawa ooo, he has told you you shouldn't address his wife by name, you sef call her iyawo or madam naa.

Chochocho on top small matter. Ahan. 😒
Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by 4ward4: 9:24pm On Feb 14, 2023
Also from his response it show there is a hidden grudge between you two.

1 Like

Re: Is it Wrong to Call Your Friend's Wife by her first name? by WackyJ1(m): 10:02pm On Feb 14, 2023
4ward4:
Also from his response it show there is a hidden grudge between you two.

Everything was fine until the chat in the screenshot.

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