debosky:

I thank God everyday that I did not fall for the rapacious, destructive, locust relative women that are so numerous in naija these days.

A man should pay a woman because he can't breastfeed or carry a baby in his belly. He should pay her because he isn't wearing red panties and dancing striptease.  :-

oh yeah, these women are just  surrogate mothers and we should therefore compensate them for their worries. imagine!!!!!

dayokanu:

^^ Abi ooo

You have to pay her for breastfeeding her own child,
Pay her for her menstrual cramps,
Pay her for sleeping with the man she claims she loves,
Pay her for cooking for her family,
Pay her for waking up in the morning

I feel these claims are even insults on women already and cheapening everything you do as a woman.

Is there anything that you do that you consider priceless?

in a way, what they are saying is that: everything that happens to them from the day we start dating is OUR fault and therefore we need to reimburse them.
sadly many desperate men will pay up while the smart thing to do would be to keep on searching for a decent partner!

lovedgal:

MBJ,
I AM NOT THAT TYPE OF GIRLWHO WOULD EVEN LET HIM CONTINUE just because he helps once and when I really need the help,  I have a conscience and will not use my man as an atm machine.

yes YOU ARE because if he helps now then every time you will have a "financial worry" in the future, you will EXPECT your man to sort it out for you (whether he can or not). . . . . . . . . . .  but here is what i am saying:
IF YOUR BF DOESNT HELP YOU THEN YOU WILL SOLVE THE PROBLEM BY YOURSELF AND THUS MAKE YOU A BETTER/STRONGER PERSON(depending on how you solve the problem), AND THEREFORE SHOULD "THANK HIM" RATHER THAN CALL HIM NAMES!

him paying your bills will only teach you ONE THING: to be a lazy begging individual rather than a strong women who can sort herself out of the problems that YOU created for yourself.

now that he said he can't help you, what are you gonna do?!

tashanja:

You are hard man, but right to the point, I salute you

thanks.
men pretending to be who they are not is the reason why so many women expect us to pay for all their shiiit.
i can only be myself, and if that makes women call me stingy then you best believe that i will take the COMPLIMENT with my head held up high (lol).

I think I'll wax cold for a little while  

MBJ said: @Shy One
no, why do you want to give up on me now? i just got here. . . . . . . i got more in store for you.

hahahahahahahahaaa!

this cracked me up! lol

*going back to read thread*

lovedgal:



@DYT and r321,
I asked him and he changed the subject smoothly so I rest my case

how did you ask him

and what did he say. . . . . cus if he changed the subject you can still go bck it if its dat important

i wonder why this matter dey pain Mrbrownjay pass other guys wey dey this forum, e no wan give-up, he has taken it upon himself to fight the cause of 'giving' and 'taking' in any form. All that yarn, still na story!!!!! Anybody who is capable of helping the partner be it a woman or a man, there is nothing to it. The only thing i know is that you do not give what you don't have. Maybe the poster's man does not have what to give.

dayokanu:

^^ Abi ooo

You have to pay her for breastfeeding her own child,
Pay her for her menstrual cramps,
Pay her for sleeping with the man she claims she loves,
Pay her for cooking for her family,
Pay her for waking up in the morning

I feel these claims are even insults on women already and cheapening everything you do as a woman.

Is there anything that you do that you consider priceless?

I really do not wnat to continue dragging this issue, but i just want to ask you a candid question, and i need you to answer candidly too, How do you show your woman/wife that you appreciate her?

How do you show your man/hubby that you appreciate him?

^^^^ i want Dayo to answer that first, and that is only if he would, and when he does, i will answer you.

ronkebp:

I really do not wnat to continue dragging this issue, but i just want to ask you a candid question, and i need you to answer candidly too, How do you show your woman/wife that you appreciate her?

By showing her love which does not include monetary things.

Throwing money around is deceptive and doesnt allow you to know the real person, many ppl who dont like you would take your BS cos of the money involved, Many girls would even sleep with you cos of the money and claim they love you  cos of the money you dole out.

I have a married friend whose several GF's are always professing love for him because he pays their rents and give them pocket money despite that these girls know that he is married and have chains of them outside

I can throw money at you and not love you one bit. I would give the money like its an obligation like a compulsory Child support you are required to pay with curses to follow.

At this point in time as a bachelor the only females I owe financial responsibilties are my mom, my sisters and my immediate family.

So Ronke now Let me ask you you mean those money you are expecting from a guy is in exchange for the sex, carrying his baby, sleeping with him, cooking for your family etc?

Incase he cant provide all these you stop your own responsibility? Thats the baffling part

dayokanu:

By showing her love which does not include monetary things.

Throwing money around is deceptive and doesnt allow you to know the real person, many ppl who dont like you would take your BS cos of the money involved, Many girls would even sleep with you cos of the money and claim they love you  cos of the money you dole out.

I have a married friend whose several GF's are always professing love for him because he pays their rents and give them pocket money despite that these girls know that he is married and have chains of them outside

I can throw money at you and not love you one bit. I would give the money like its an obligation like a compulsory Child support you are required to pay with curses to follow.

At this point in time as a bachelor the only females I owe financial responsibilties are my mom, my sisters and my immediate family.

So Ronke now Let me ask you you mean those money you are expecting from a guy is in exchange for the sex, carrying his baby, sleeping with him, cooking for your family etc?

Incase he cant provide all these you stop your own responsibility? Thats the baffling part

you have not answered the question yet,  better still/ how do you show the love?? i really want to know, it is not about the money at all.

ronkebp:

i wonder why this matter dey pain Mrbrownjay pass other guys wey dey this forum, e no wan give-up, he has taken it upon himself to fight the cause of 'giving' and 'taking' in any form. All that yarn, still na story!!!!! Anybody who is capable of helping the partner be it a woman or a man, there is nothing to it. The only thing i know is that you do not give what you don't have. Maybe the poster's man does not have what to give.

well, to tell you the truth sis, he's a walking textbook. He's got answers for everything!

MsDarkSkin:

hahahahahahahahaaa!                

this cracked me up! lol

*going back to read thread*      

He's sadistic - mad cause I hit a nerve(s) in my "accurate palm reading" -  these men who are stingy - so they can continue to hold to their stingy ways - they jump all over women who "aren't golddiggers" - define us as "golddiggers" in support of their own agendas so they can maintain their stingy ways  - of doing NOTHING in a relationship.

They purposely turn and twist our words to make us out to the "opposite" of what we are, because they have been hurt by previous women - they now see ALL WOMEN as gold-diggers.  Those of us who are genuine - just have to overlook these "damaged men" and their "twisted views" - continue with your life AS IT IS ESPECIALLY IF IT IS working for you and for your mate.

Thank God - I have a "real man"  - I pity the women who have to look at these louses on the 24/7

God Forbid something occur in their "love life" with their mate who would need assistance - but their love is devoid of monetary support.  Love is Action - Words without DEEDS means nothing.  I wish indeed that a man would tell me he loves me and then if I have a need - look at me or change the subject or overlook a need that I have and he is in my life.

If my man has a need and I do nothing - he should look for someone to replace me - that is disgraceful.  And these cheap/stingy men who bow out of a relationship right before Christmas or who expects you to do all the "girlfriend BS" and all they contribute is advice and a smile - should be booted azz first out of any relationship they think they are party to,

The only answers MBJ has are answers in support of his position.

I love the bible but many times - the "bible thumpers" many times are not genuine - because they use the bible to support their position which many times can be completely wrong.

His theory is similar to false "bible thumpers = MBJ has answers but only to support him in his view - he has been hurt and used and is very vocal about it - he really continued to dig deep - because as a gypsy - I was able to correctly read him and nail him most accurately.

Hit dogs holler.  Have you not heard that saying?

He equates assisting and pulling his weight in a relationship the same as though someone is asking for weave and BB's - he puts any request for money including legitimate requests - those too are placed on a negative level because simply put - he isn't wanting to part with his moolah FOR ANY REASON.  SO he screams and hollers at everyone for miles around.  That is the basic foundation of a "cheap/stingy man"

Shy-One:


Thank God - I have a "real man"  - I pity the women who have to look at these louses on the 24/7

huh? Oh i forgot.

^^^^^

very funny

@Shy-One
You too dey write-writi  

if dem dey beat una for mouth,una go dey use nyansh talk

Geez. You lot are still on this issue? Amazing!

eridah2007:

@Shy-One
You too dey write-writi  

if dem dey beat una for mouth,una go dey use nyansh talk

- I know - but what is right is right - MBJ will just have to beat me - I will take my beating well - that is all I can say -

Where are those preachers of 50/50 relationships? Why is that it's only financial burden that most Naija women do not want to share equally with their men?

You do know not all women posters are Nigerian right?

Just saying.

@Ronkebp
as you have asked me to not mention you in my posts, i will suggest you do not mention my name in yours, thanks!

Shy-One:

The only answers MBJ has are answers in support of his position.

i can only support what I believe is right, and so do you BUT that doesnt mean that we cant have a debate on the issue, isnt it?!

His theory is similar to false "bible thumpers = MBJ has answers but only to support him in his view - he has been hurt and used and is very vocal about it - he really continued to dig deep - because as a gypsy - I was able to correctly read him and nail him most accurately.

there is no way i can prove to you that you dont know what you are talking about. yes i have been hurt in the past (who hasnt) but i simply got back up and moved on. ONE THING that i have never been is a mumu that throws money around like i am father Christmas. if you believe that i need to hand over my money to criminalsa dn ashis to understand what a FOOL is then you are mistaking. come on now, how am i going to take my money and hand it over to someone WITHOUT even using my damn brain into deciding if it's right (OR NOT) to do so?!
everything we do in life has consequences and we MUST use our damn heads before we do anything. so if you expect me to just throw money in the air like it is nothing then you have me mistaking for someone else!
believe me, i know the value of money!

He equates assisting and pulling his weight in a relationship the same as though someone is asking for weave and BB's - he puts any request for money including legitimate requests - those too are placed on a negative level because simply put - he isn't wanting to part with his moolah FOR ANY REASON. 

you are absolutely RIGHT about that. the only reason i will part with my HARD EARNED CASH is when I MBJ evaluates individually each and every requests and decides to do so. nobody is going to blackmail/force me into doing what i am NOT ready and willing to do.

SO he screams and hollers at everyone for miles around.  That is the basic foundation of a "cheap/stingy man"

if my action are seen as STINGINESS to you then let me be KING STINGY and laugh all the way to the bank being richer, rather than being POORER and in a fake r/ship where a gal will ONLY profess her love because of the money i spend on her. is it not that stinginess that is making any man wealthier than the other?! or do you think i rob banks or am the son of a politician? 
you certainly dont know the value of money OR what it takes to KEEP money if you expect anyone to just throw it around as if it has no value!

i (MBJ) is the prize, if anyone is not focusing on ME as a person and rather focus on what i can PROVIDE for them then this is not what i want in my life. as i repeat: WOMEN COME A DIME A DOZEN!!!!!
to each their own

how can any man look at himself in the mirror every morning when he knows that A) if he hasnt got money any longer, his gf will be gone B) if someone with more money than him happens to want his gf, that person can just throw a little bit more money at her and she will be his!

You all some long winded mofos.

MRbrownJAY:






the only reason i will part with my HARD EARNED CASH is when I MBJ evaluates individually each and every requests and decides to do so. nobody is going to blackmail/force me into doing what i am NOT ready and willing to do.

I agree with this point. Its kind of the basis of the issue. When only DATING, helping each other out is a give and take thing, NOT an obligation. Especially if the person can help themselves. Helping someone must come from truly wanting to. I wouldnt want to be an obligation or burden to anyone. I would want my guy to be aware and wise to what is going on and act accordingly.And I would do the same.

Mrs, Chima:

You all some long winded mofos.

talina:

I agree with this point. Its kind of the basis of the issue. When only DATING, helping each other out is a give and take thing, NOT an obligation. Especially if the person can help themselves. Helping someone must come from truly wanting to. I wouldnt want to be an obligation or burden to anyone. I would want my guy to be aware and wise to what is going on and act accordingly.And I would do the same.

That is how MOST men operate.  If they feel a woman is a burden they will replace her quick in so few words sorry so many words MBJ have expressed that.  The time have changed and what used to work in the PAST isn't working TODAY. 

Women need to make do for themselves and their men should be an addition to their life not an necessity.  That is where many women messed up and I have so many stories of women who have not focus on SELF and lost everything because of a man.  I am not saying a man is to blame however the focus was in the wrong place. 

Women nowadays do too much for so little and wonder why MOST boys are the way they are.

Just saying.

Runnin in shoutin n protestin. . . .
Dat ur so called bf s stingy
i mean lyk dat horse at onikan
ask him again
emphasis on it
tell him baby i told u i needed dis n u acted lyk u didnt hear
dont feel shy
it doesnt hurt
ask him severally
infact he s got 2 give u
by force o
chai i wish i know dat ur guy o
i deal wit stingy n greedy men

Women, MEN ARE NOT ATM MACHINE

Abeg joooo. Women are always tax officers , No be the two of una love una sef, Wat have you done for the guy?

talina:

I agree with this point. Its kind of the basis of the issue. When only DATING, helping each other out is a give and take thing, NOT an obligation. Especially if the person can help themselves. Helping someone must come from truly wanting to. I wouldnt want to be an obligation or burden to anyone. I would want my guy to be aware and wise to what is going on and act accordingly.And I would do the same.

yes. . . . . . i guess they expect any guy who dates to take care of their gfs, as if she didnt have a life before he came in the picture.
unless they are married, nobody should be anyone's responsibility!

@Mrs C
if a woman comes with the right attitude then she can be helped but if anyone comes with the attitude that we see on this thread (aka we are dating so you MUST help me) then that's wrong.

if i listen to these posters carefully, they wouldnt even say THANK YOU, since it is our "duty" to take care of them. oh lawd!
people will never appreciate the gesture if you give it to them recklessly.

@Dyt
what about if that man simply tells you:" babe, i am sorry but as i told you earlier there is not much i can do. MY own rent is due and i still havent paid MY school fees. i wish i could help you but i truly cant"

MRbrownJAY:


@Mrs C
if a woman comes with the right attitude then she can be helped but if anyone comes with the attitude that we see on this thread (aka we are dating so you MUST help me) then that's wrong.

if i listen to these posters carefully, they wouldnt even say THANK YOU, since it is our "duty" to take care of them. oh lawd!
people will never appreciate the gesture if you give it to them recklessly.

MRbrownJAY:


@Mrs C
if a woman comes with the right attitude then she can be helped but if anyone comes with the attitude that we see on this thread (aka we are dating so you MUST help me) then that's wrong.

if i listen to these posters carefully, they wouldnt even say THANK YOU, since it is our "duty" to take care of them. oh lawd!
people will never appreciate the gesture if you give it to them recklessly.

As  you know I am a feminist and I UNDER no circumstances expect a man to do anything for me.  That was the whole purpose of the feminist movement originally before it became discombobulated was to give women equal opportunity to earn livings WITHOUT depending on their husbands and have rights to their children AFTER DIVORCE. 

As I stated in my previous post, women are doing too much for so little.  Instead of focusing on the wrong thing such as having a man and what he has she should be focusing on what she can do for herself.  God forbid and something happen to Mr. Chima, I can survive on my own because of the "attitude" as you call it is no one is expected to give you anything and if they give thank them. 

When I was dating, I didn't settle for just one guy.  I had fun dating male friends and it was easier that way.  No expectations and no one is tied down.  I have noticed women get caught up with having a man that they lose themselves in the process.  This is the motto that many of the women in my family used and encourage others to use, "Never expect anything then you won't be disappointed". 

If you dont expect anything, then the door is open for people to be who they are. They can "dance" as Ive said.

@ Mrs Chima
I like what you are saying. Makes sense!

talina:

If you dont expect anything, then the door is open for people to be who they are. They can "dance" as Ive said.

By not expecting anything you see the true color of the individual you are standing in the amidst of. To me, expectations are like blinders. It prevents you from seeing what is in front of you and accepting the reality of what is not there. That's where most women get caught up in and have no idea what they have walked into.

Expecting is having a preconceived notion of what should be there instead of [b]what is [/b]there. 

talina:

@ Mrs Chima
                     I like what you are saying. Makes sense!

Thanks suga.