aimalohi:
He can't just walk up to u for marriage. Go into courtship with him to also see if his children will accept u and to truly know his if u can cope with his kind of person. As for marriage wait first oo if not a second mistake will tarnish ur image completely

Thanks

simplepee:
This woman and her baggage threads…

Another marriage should be the least of your problem madam, will you die without a man ffs? Why are you complicating your kid’s life by moving them from one man’s house to another?? Naso preek dey hungry you?

Allow these children grow first, I beg you. You can remarry later but let the kids have a sane life void of drama/mess. Arhg!

Thanks

Whatever went wrong in your past relationship madam u sef get ur own so check yourself. My question is.. Are you ready emotionally, psychologically? If no, abeg good bye to marriage.. u don try nah... 4 children.. biko just enjoy your beautiful children and get a boyfriend if u no fit hold body.

[quote author=Klass99 post=121135674]Don't let the past ruin your chances for a good thing. There's a chance for;

1. A new chapter of your life with an older man (I like older men sha, most tend to be mature and well grounded) what you fear may not happen, dwell on this thought instead.

2. Your children to have a male friend and mentor (hopefully a great one too) as well as new friends in their step siblings.

3. Sweet companionship between you and him. Children will grow and leave the nest one day or even sooner like when they are in boarding school. Your life shouldn't be all about your children, you are worthy of good things and you deserve good things too.

4. A nicely blended family, your kids may all get along well and you may get on well with him too. That's not to say there won't be challenges but nothing so bad or terrible that you both can't handle

Take a chance and see where it all leads to, you might be pleasantly surprised.WISE ONE HERE.GOD BLESS U ,MADAM ,DO THIS

Vyvyanvyvy:
Hello guys, I am a 36 years old single mother of four. My son will be 15 in August, first daughter 10 in october, my third 5 and youngest 3 by june.

I have separated from my husband because he didn't want my son to come and live with us, I have been taking care of them singlehandedly for 3 years.

I have been friend with this man, a widower who is 57 years and a father of 2 children. He is asking for my hand in marriage. To be honest, I don't want to be married again, all I want is to focus on raising my kids because I have been through a lot in my previous marriage and I don't want another marriage wahala.

He asked for my hand in marriage, I rejected him and I had explained to him why I don't want to marry again. I told him what my ex did, he said he is a mature man he will love me and my children and he will never hate them or ask them to leave his house. I told him I have to think about it and I will get back to him ASAP. But I am still scared to accept his proposal because I don't want history to repeat itself and he is still on my neck. He wants me to accept his proposal. I am confused.

Please advice me. Is it a wise choice for me to get married again after everything I have been through in the past?

It depends on you.
1 Are u sure u can stay without sex for the rest of your life. Instead of having man friends u can get married. If y don't u willbjistvstart having boyfriends up and down. Women need men at an emotional and sexual level
2. If u think u can do without sex and men then reject it.
3. But then out if curiosity I will like to know what your former husband did

I don’t think you love this man or that you are attracted to him. I think you can only see what he can do for you.

A lot of women do this and think they can just fake it but trust me, men will always know. And that’s when they will show you hell because you’re f*ing with his ego.

Also, this is a mature man who has raised a woman, and has been married to a woman who probably loved and worshipped him. So unless you’re truly madly in love with him or at the very least find him sexually attractive, don’t do it.

Remember that HE has needs and he sounds like he is a better man than the 2 dusty Bleep boys you had children with so, could you give him what he needs?

You might be walking into another life lesson so…

Another thing, you’re both from different times so how much could you have in common with a man 20 years older than you?

Remember if he holds the financial burden then a simple ‘get out of my house’ is enough to get rid of you and your 4 children. I really feel for your kids.

If you’re so independent and hardworking then why can’t your small family unit be enough for you until your children develop into healthy adults? How much trauma will it take before you sit down?

I’m just thinking out loud so you can ignore me…

greypencils:
He is 57. You are 36. Can you date a man that old? If you cant, no use stringing him along. If he wants to render any assistance, he is free to but he sealing it up with marriage is left to you. If you are willing to ignore his age and settle down with him, I would urge you to prevail on him to court you for at least 2 years and during that period table all your fears before him, ask him searching questions and meet his children too. Don't rush into making a decision as critical as marriage.

LOL! You think a 57 year old man has 2 years to spare on courting? He will be 60 by then 😂😂😂

This is a man from a different generation! When people didn’t have sex outside of marriage. He’s not from our Bleep Bleep generation like OP! 🤭

Brandiebird:


LOL! You think a 57 year old man has 2 years to spare on courting? He will be 60 by then 😂😂😂

This is a man from a different generation! When people didn’t have sex outside of marriage. He’s not from our Bleep Bleep generation like OP! 🤭

She is the one that needs to look before she leaps. The man has no problems at all especially if he is settled financially. If he cant spare the two years, he is free to bounce. He is the one that needs her young blood, she doesn't need him for anything. If she was so kin to be under a man per say, she never would have left her marriage.

greypencils:
She is the one that needs to look before she leaps. The man has no problems at all especially if he is settled financially. If he cant spare the two years, he is free to bounce. He is the one that needs her young blood, she doesn't need him for anything. If she was so kin to be under a man per say, she never would have left her marriage.

1st baby daddy left her, and the ex husband was a waste of space so I’d say she has a broken picker.

She was in 2 abusive relationships (one abandoned her and one abused her) so I don’t think you spinning her story is helping her.

The reality on ground is this old man knows what he wants and the only confused and conflicted person in this situation is OP.

Everyone has God and both parties will be just fine if they walk away so I don’t know what you mean by “young blood” 🥴

kingthreat:


The man is coming with companionship, sex and money. This is what the woman lacks and being married will solve all these problems. And you are bluntly advising her against her happiness. You think it is easy for a single woman to raise 4 children? You want her to be using young boys for sex. You want her to go through depression when having personal issues? Think

So marriage answers all? Why? Because she’s a woman?

If that’s true then all married women should be in bliss right now.

Vyvyanvyvy:
Hello guys, I am a 36 years old single mother of four. My son will be 15 in August, first daughter 10 in october, my third 5 and youngest 3 by june.

I have separated from my husband because he didn't want my son to come and live with us, I have been taking care of them singlehandedly for 3 years.

I have been friend with this man, a widower who is 57 years and a father of 2 children. He is asking for my hand in marriage. To be honest, I don't want to be married again, all I want is to focus on raising my kids because I have been through a lot in my previous marriage and I don't want another marriage wahala.

He asked for my hand in marriage, I rejected him and I had explained to him why I don't want to marry again. I told him what my ex did, he said he is a mature man he will love me and my children and he will never hate them or ask them to leave his house. I told him I have to think about it and I will get back to him ASAP. But I am still scared to accept his proposal because I don't want history to repeat itself and he is still on my neck. He wants me to accept his proposal. I am confused.

Please advice me. Is it a wise choice for me to get married again after everything I have been through in the past?

Don't go into marriage again go and face your children. God bless you

UjuJoan2:


So marriage answers all? Why? Because she’s a woman?

If that’s true then all married women should be in bliss right now.

You must have been brought up in a dysfunctional marriage. Anyone seeking relationship advice from you is heading to doom.

kingthreat:


You must have been brought up in a dysfunctional marriage. Anyone seeking relationship advice from you is heading to doom.

Okay, whatever you say.

ValCon888:
Firstly, a single mother of four is a steep hill to climb for any man. You're lucky someone is ready and willing to accept you and your four kids into his home.

Not to cohabit, but to make an honest woman out of you by asking for your hand in marriage.

At the end of the day, the choice is yours. If you don't want to then don't. For me, I'd advise you to for the security and companionship.

One thing's certain; offers like this only happen once in a lifetime.

I hope 20 years from now you won't look back at this moment and be gnashing your teeth.

My exact thought. His children are most probably grown up and he will provide the financial support and the fatherly figure the children need.

It's not easy dear but it depends on the man and his children. Try and spend some time with them and watch their behavior towards you and your children. While you're with them be close to their dad like husband and wife and watch their face, call them when in the kitchen to assist you, send them within,discuss with them and hear from them then from their you will know your stand if you can cope or not.

Pls don't rush into marrying him moreover you already have 4 children, I wonder why you still want...,beside nothing like loneliness, bcs many married people are very lonely except the same company their children also keep them is all they get.Marriage is very tasking esp for women Else u want it,so think well before u act.

Jesslove:
It's not easy dear but it depends on the man and his children. Try and spend some time with them and watch their behavior towards you and your children. While you're with them be close to their dad like husband and wife and watch their face, call them when in the kitchen to assist you, send them within,discuss with them and hear from them then from their you will know your stand if you can cope or not.

He lives alone, his children are adults the girl is married and the boy lives abroad

kodix:
Pls don't rush into marrying him moreover you already have 4 children, I wonder why you still want...,beside nothing like loneliness, bcs many married people are very lonely except the same company their children also keep them is all they get.Marriage is very tasking esp for women Else u want it,so think well before u act.

Thanks. I am not in a rush he is the one who has been pressuring me to accept his proposal because he is lonely

Klass99:


Stop repeating yourself and stop answering questions you have already answered or provided clarity on.

Ok sorry

.

Vyvyanvyvy:
He lives alone, his children are adults the girl is married and the boy lives abroad

Vyvyanvyvy:
Thanks. I am not in a rush he is the one who has been pressuring me to accept his proposal because he is lonely

From your OP, you clearly don't seem to have any feelings for this man so what exactly are your intentions in considering his proposal?

@op what character does your son pocess that makes his father not want him in his house. If this happens in the newhusband place he may equally call it quit. Work on your son first in possible