BRATISLAVA:


When will you people get tired of the bolded? You don't know anything about men. Because a man did something you've sworn they/you won't, it means it's a steep hill to climb? It's not.

But of course, it's another opportunity to contribute fanning the flames of the false scarcity/value of men and try to make her desperate because it's a WiDoWeR (give us all a break, didn't he kill his wife too?) asking and she should be desperate and glad that a man is looking her way. What bloody offer that happens once in a lifetime for Pete's sake? Men will always look the way of women, the way of single mothers and married women. Go to any mall, any park, any office and tell us it isn't true. It is not as special as you make it seem.

This is another ego-fanning cum woman-shaming session. It's not about what she wants, rather it's about forum males perception about the "anomaly" that a man actually wants an older mother.

Half of you on the forum need to grow up. Who told you that this is a rare occurrence? Who says she must take it and feel lucky about it? Who says if women don't accept men they will gnash their teeth? Is it not what men do?

Someone told me yesterday that wedding rings are hard to come by for ladies, I had a good laugh, because nothing can be further from the truth.


I wonder if those ladies getting married every Saturday are ghosts




I don't understand why these guys are so desperate to feel special, it's like they just need something to prop up their insecurities.



If the poster can give it a few months, she might just meet someone more suitable.

Madam media is not a right place for u to sake for advice, get a right place and follow ur mind with prayer.

Kobojunkie:
1. Interesting! Professional or religious?.

2. Oh, it is for sure that there are definitely lots if equally emotional men out there but let's not forget that the vast majority of men abandon their children with the women - ex-woman or step-wife.

Vast majority of men you said? How many precisely? How did you also come about the statistics?
Are you also a marriage counsellor? Professional ot religious?
Burnt up generation.

Fuckyoumod:
you are very lucky. @ 36 with 4 kids? What's still left of your body for that man to enjoy at 4 kids? Once married?

You are scared of marriage wahala? Hmmm.... You think marriage is rice and beans? Milk and honey every day?

You think Buhari's wife is sleeping on a bed of roses with Buhari everyday? Marriage is for the strong and prepared. Marriage is for open minded people who are open to expect everything, see everything and still work towards making it right. See, don't go and give that man headaches and B.P, if you are not prepared for marriage please tell him to find someone else.

Women far younger than you are still fast and praying to find a man that is willing to commit to them.

You are lucky, but the choice is yours, however I want you to know that it will never come again if you miss it. It's life a time opportunity.

Go and prove to people and families that your first marriage was never your fault.

It's easy to bash men and demonize them the moment you are no longer together, even when it's all your fault and making that things went south.

From all indication, it's clear to me that, that man wants a companion, a woman in his life, somebody he can spend the rest of his life with. Somebody who he would call a wife. A woman with less drama, his children are grown up, married and far away.

See, my advice to you is simple, if any day you make up your mind to marry him. Prepare your mind that he comes first in your life before anybody even your children.

If you know you can't put in first in your life as your husband, don't marry him. Else.... It Might not end well.
Taking another man's children in and standing up for them as their father is a massive price and sacrifice only few men can make, you must reward him with love and care first before anyone else in your life, because he is your husband.

Lastly, I will not tell you to accept him or reject him. It's only you and your decision alone to make.

But I believe he genuinely needs a wife and you are his choice.

What is left in the body of a 57 year old man to enjoy?


Is he not approaching his twilight years?



In the next 10-15 years she will definitely become his care giver, raising her 4 kids plus an old man, when will she have some peace?



She has money, she has kids, she has experience, why should she be desperate?


Who told you men are scarce?



Stop this nonsense.

.

Get a good lawyer...state your worries and give him to sign on it..because after few months ,I can see him start having issues with u and your kids..if he mean it..let him sign.
Some men can be very mean..but I will rather advice you not marry again ooo....you can have a male friend..but don't born any kids again..be wise..and concentrate on your kids..

Saintmary:



Someone told me yesterday that wedding rings are hard to come by for ladies, I had a good laugh, because nothing can be further from the truth.


I wonder if those ladies getting married every Saturday are ghosts




I don't understand why these guys are so desperate to feel special, it's like they just need something to prop up their insecurities.



If the poster can give it a few months, she might just meet someone more suitable.

The kind of untruths they peddle to feel good are more irritating than surprising. They know that they aren't that special. It's just that they have to try and bring women down always.

Going by the original poster, isn't she an evening newspaper, and worse, doesn't she have many children? Yet there is a man ready for her, proposing to her on his own. And they find it difficult to accept that, hence many long messages to convince her she's not worth it and the man proposing is doing a Herculean task. A man who has promised to take good care of her knowing her history. It's a pity she's looking for advice on a forum owned by angry little boys.

In their minds, she's 36 and cannot look more attractive than a57 year old man.

Ghost of Hitler, save these boys.

Klass99:


Never say never. One thing stands out to me with a certain demograph of people (that is widows, widowers and divorcees) most yearn for a companion and companionship which is not a bad thing at all.

Companionship was the major reason Eve was created for Adam. Before the fall of man and before there was procreation, companionship existed. No matter how much you cherish your kids there are certain desires and needs they cannot fulfill or satisfy.

Your children can't hold or cuddle you intimately, make love with you, talk you through challenging times or support you emotionally or financially through rough times, like a good companion can. The love for a child is very different from the love between a man and a woman.

On this same forum I have seen both divorced and widowed men create threads in earnest search of love and companionship in the form of a woman/wife. Their children were obviously not enough to fill a void in them. The most recent thread I saw was a man with 3 kids like you, who said he wants to love and be loved.

Sebarwon (I'm not sure I got his username right) was a widower now remarried, whose thread rocked NL for years and gave many widowers hope and encouragement that they too can find genuine love a second time in life. Companionship trumps everything else, children are just a fruit of that companionship.

all you said nah true talk. but, God forbid, if anything happens I can never remarry.

BRATISLAVA:


The kind of untruths they peddle to feel good is more irritating than surprising. They know that they aren't that special. It's just that they have to try and bring women down always.

Going by the original poster, isn't she an evening newspaper, and worse, doesn't she have many children? Yet there is a man ready for her, proposing to her. And they find it difficult to accept that, hence many long messages to convince her she's not worth it and the man proposing is doing a Herculean task. A man who has promised to take good care of her knowing her history. It's a pity she's looking for advice on a forum owned by angry little boys.

In their minds, she's 36 and cannot look more attractive than a57 year old man.

Ghost of Hitler, save these boys.

You see, most of these people have nothing going for them, they are insecure, so they need to bring people down in order to feel like humans.


You really don't want to look into their hearts and minds, it's too dark in there.


A 36 year old lady is just approaching her prime sexually and in terms of natural beauty.


The only issue here is that she is carrying way too heavy burden of 4 kids. That will make her look older than her age.


It's so unfortunate because I already sense that she will bow to pressure and add to her burdens, three more people to worry about making seven and she's not even 40 yet.


Why do Nigerian women like suffering?

Vyvyanvyvy:



Thanks. I have known him for a year he is a great man and would love to be a part of his life my children adore him but when I remember how my ex husband was also a saint in the begining, he promised me heaven on earth, he even swore in front of my late mother and elder brother that he love me and my kids like his own , only for him to change his mind after the wedding , that's why I am scared that the same thing may happen again. I haven't met or spoken to his children ,they are adult the daughter is already married with kids and the son lives abroad.

This story no clear. You mean you're already a single mother with kids before your ex met and came to marry you? Make us understand properly

😝

E be like say the man no get money well well.

Vyvyanvyvy:
Hello guys, I am a 36 years old single mother of four. My son will be 15 in August, first daughter 10 in october, my third 5 and youngest 3 by june.

I have separated from my husband because he didn't want my son to come and live with us, I have been taking care of them singlehandedly for 3 years.

I have been friend with this man, a widower who is 57 years and a father of 2 children. He is asking for my hand in marriage. To be honest, I don't want to be married again, all I want is to focus on raising my kids because I have been through a lot in my previous marriage and I don't want another marriage wahala.

He asked for my hand in marriage, I rejected him and I had explained to him why I don't want to marry again. I told him what my ex did, he said he is a mature man he will love me and my children and he will never hate them or ask them to leave his house. I told him I have to think about it and I will get back to him ASAP. But I am still scared to accept his proposal because I don't want history to repeat itself and he is still on my neck. He wants me to accept his proposal. I am confused.

Please advice me. Is it a wise choice for me to get married again after everything I have been through in the past?

Vyvyanvyvy:


I had 2 children before my ex husband , my daughter was staying with us and my son was staying with my elder brother. I agreed with you same as me I don't expect him to love them unconditionally but i just want them to feel loved , safe around him and be comfortable in the house even if he will not foot all the bills I am hard working I will take care of the rest . When i was with my ex husband I footed 70% of the bills but still he didn't want my son to stay with us , he was not even the one that was paying their school fees and all i wanted is for my son to stay with us so he can feel loved , safe and comfortable around him he refused which I don't know why he choose to hate my boy for no valid reason. that's why I had to choose my son over him.

You mean you already had 2 children before you met your ex? Abeg you are a chronic single mother. What happened to the 2 kids you had before you met your ex? Where's their father? Why didn't he married you since you possessed those abilities of paying 70% bills? Who you dey whine? Who are you trying to use reverse psychology on?

Your ex did well by not wanting that boy to stay with him. No be him fvck you Born that Pekin. He is not the father and why must he be manipulated into acting like one?

I hate single mothers with passion, especially those ones like you that has given birth outside before getting married to a SIMP man. I'll urge you to reject his proposals ASAP and remain single so as not to stress that man to death, before you'll start fvcking around like the Olosho single mother you are.

Vyvyanvyvy:



Thanks. I have known him for a year he is a great man and would love to be a part of his life my children adore him but when I remember how my ex husband was also a saint in the begining, he promised me heaven on earth, he even swore in front of my late mother and elder brother that he love me and my kids like his own , only for him to change his mind after the wedding , that's why I am scared that the same thing may happen again. I haven't met or spoken to his children ,they are adult the daughter is already married with kids and the son lives abroad.

Go ahead and give him a chance. His wife is late and his 2 kids has moved out of the house living their independent lives. He needs you and your kids to fill up that vacuum. He can't be like your ex because that one is younger and needs his own kids, and not financially stable. Both marriage proposals are for different motives. If you take good care of the man and win the hearts of the kids, your own kids would benefit at the end. Importantly, be watchful over your female kids so that the devil won't play a fast one on you. Men can't be trusted in that area oo.

ogeodi:
Don't you think it's better staying alone than getting your kids abused or molested. As for the sapa I clearly wrote if she has the resources and for the konji, she can date a single guy

Don't you know that women also abuse minors? Who should really be afraid of who?

ValCon888:
Firstly, a single mother of four is a steep hill to climb for any man. You're lucky someone is ready and willing to accept you and your four kids into his home.

Not to cohabit, but to make an honest woman out of you by asking for your hand in marriage.

At the end of the day, the choice is yours. If you don't want to then don't. For me, I'd advise you to for the security and companionship.

One thing's certain; offers like this only happen once in a lifetime.

I hope 20 years from now you won't look back at this moment and be gnashing your teeth.

Very honest advice. Sounds very mature. How can she not think of the fact that her children need a father figure in their lives? How about protector and companion?

Remarrying while your legally married husband is still alive is a straight road to hell fire. We can't run away from the consequences of our choices, it is always noble to face them squarely and realistically.

Romans 7:2-3 (KJV) For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

Matthew 19:9 (KJV) And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Revelation 21:8 (KJV) But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

Don't ever try it! You will regret it mark my words. Just stay on ur own and be God fearing. You will see how things will turn around for good for u

If you're confused then don't marry him. Period.
Get God, get sense.

Vyvyanvyvy:
Hello guys, I am a 36 years old single mother of four. My son will be 15 in August, first daughter 10 in october, my third 5 and youngest 3 by june.

I have separated from my husband because he didn't want my son to come and live with us, I have been taking care of them singlehandedly for 3 years.

I have been friend with this man, a widower who is 57 years and a father of 2 children. He is asking for my hand in marriage. To be honest, I don't want to be married again, all I want is to focus on raising my kids because I have been through a lot in my previous marriage and I don't want another marriage wahala.

He asked for my hand in marriage, I rejected him and I had explained to him why I don't want to marry again. I told him what my ex did, he said he is a mature man he will love me and my children and he will never hate them or ask them to leave his house. I told him I have to think about it and I will get back to him ASAP. But I am still scared to accept his proposal because I don't want history to repeat itself and he is still on my neck. He wants me to accept his proposal. I am confused.

Please advice me. Is it a wise choice for me to get married again after everything I have been through in the past?

He's looking for someone to take care of his kids.
By the way how old are his children?
How long have you known him?
Does he have a GOOD STEADY income? Because he might have seen how industrious you're and wants to stick to your money.

ValCon888:
Firstly, a single mother of four is a steep hill to climb for any man. You're lucky someone is ready and willing to accept you and your four kids into his home.

Not to cohabit, but to make an honest woman out of you by asking for your hand in marriage.

At the end of the day, the choice is yours. If you don't want to then don't. For me, I'd advise you to for the security and companionship.

One thing's certain; offers like this only happen once in a lifetime.

I hope 20 years from now you won't look back at this moment and be gnashing your teeth.

Which security please?

sisisioge:
It is well....why not date him for a while to understand his kind of person? You've been there with marriage, you of all people should know not to jump into another. Besides, you're a full package that requires input from all participants, what do your kids think of him and his of you? Good luck.

Very good advice.

Vyvyanvyvy:



Thanks. I have known him for a year he is a great man and would love to be a part of his life my children adore him but when I remember how my ex husband was also a saint in the begining, he promised me heaven on earth, he even swore in front of my late mother and elder brother that he love me and my kids like his own , only for him to change his mind after the wedding , that's why I am scared that the same thing may happen again. I haven't met or spoken to his children ,they are adult the daughter is already married with kids and the son lives abroad.

Please a year is not enough to know anyone. Keep watch.

jessylaurel:


He's looking for someone to take care of his kids.
By the way how old are his children?
How long have you known him?
Does he have a GOOD STEADY income? Because he might have seen how industrious you're and wants to stick to your money.

I have known him for a year, his children are adults the girl is married with kids , and the boy lives abroad. Yes he is financially buoyant

jessylaurel:


Please a year is not enough to know anyone. Keep watch.

Thanks

Obiorahpcfg:
Don't ever try it! You will regret it mark my words. Just stay on ur own and be God fearing. You will see how things will turn around for good for u

Thanks

Vyvyanvyvy:



They're minors their decision doesn't matter. It is only me that can decide on the right thing to do but I am confused and I don't know what to do, that's why I came to deek for advice because I know we have wise men and women in this forums who will be able to offer me some great advices that will help me to make the right decision.

Ma sorry to say a 15 going to 16 year old is not a minor. Even if the eldest is 10years you can still tell him/her and watch their body language. Instead of introducing different men to them as their father and later separating. It affects the self esteem of these kids.

jessylaurel:


Ma sorry to say a 15 going to 16 year old is not a minor. Even if the eldest is 10years you can still tell him/her and watch their body language. Instead of introducing different men to them as their father and later separating. It affects the self esteem of these kids.

Ok thanks. I have never introduced multiple men to my kids , the one and only father they knew was my ex husband and I have no dated another man for 3 years.

Vyvyanvyvy:
Hello guys, I am a 36 years old single mother of four. My son will be 15 in August, first daughter 10 in october, my third 5 and youngest 3 by june.

I have separated from my husband because he didn't want my son to come and live with us, I have been taking care of them singlehandedly for 3 years.

I have been friend with this man, a widower who is 57 years and a father of 2 children. He is asking for my hand in marriage. To be honest, I don't want to be married again, all I want is to focus on raising my kids because I have been through a lot in my previous marriage and I don't want another marriage wahala.

He asked for my hand in marriage, I rejected him and I had explained to him why I don't want to marry again. I told him what my ex did, he said he is a mature man he will love me and my children and he will never hate them or ask them to leave his house. I told him I have to think about it and I will get back to him ASAP. But I am still scared to accept his proposal because I don't want history to repeat itself and he is still on my neck. He wants me to accept his proposal. I am confused.

Please advice me. Is it a wise choice for me to get married again after everything I have been through in the past?

Follow your mind, so you know the choice is yours

Vyvyanvyvy:
Hello guys, I am a 36 years old single mother of four. My son will be 15 in August, first daughter 10 in october, my third 5 and youngest 3 by june.

I have separated from my husband because he didn't want my son to come and live with us, I have been taking care of them singlehandedly for 3 years.

I have been friend with this man, a widower who is 57 years and a father of 2 children. He is asking for my hand in marriage. To be honest, I don't want to be married again, all I want is to focus on raising my kids because I have been through a lot in my previous marriage and I don't want another marriage wahala.

He asked for my hand in marriage, I rejected him and I had explained to him why I don't want to marry again. I told him what my ex did, he said he is a mature man he will love me and my children and he will never hate them or ask them to leave his house. I told him I have to think about it and I will get back to him ASAP. But I am still scared to accept his proposal because I don't want history to repeat itself and he is still on my neck. He wants me to accept his proposal. I am confused.

Please advice me. Is it a wise choice for me to get married again after everything I have been through in the past?

Your first son, does he not have a father to live with?
Where was he living all the years you stayed married?
What's his character like? To have warranted your ex-husband not to take him in?
The story is somehow not complete yet.

You get big yansh or bwess

putmanj146:



Follow your mind, so you know the choice is yours

Thanks