oldienavie:

Thank you for your suggestion, you understand the reality I am faced with.
At this time, she is the only person I can call friend as we have known each other for almost 10 years now and we do share intimate details, for the past 7 years we have been kinda each others emotional support, even when I was dating other ladies here in France and she too back in naija, we both knew everything about each other.

Its just a messed up situation. If I can find a lady as soon as I land in naija then maybe I could disconnect from her but its going to be difficult not to sleep with her while not having any other lady in the picture.

oldienavie:
I am a single man in my early 30s, I used to have a girlfriend some couple years ago .
She cheated on me, I didnt break up with her but the relationship just kinda died and she moved on .

She started dating another guy but I was also sleeping with her occasionally cos she liked me, anyway, the guy found out and he decided he was not going to marry her, but somehow she got pregnant for the guy.
I was already out of the country when she got pregnant for him.

The guy wanted her to abort but she wouldn't, she has a beautiful daughter now, she is not doing so bad as she works with one of the top banks as she is very comfortable.
Because of the trauma she suffered during pregnancy, she became close to me as the boyfriend totally abandoned her and the guy has not set eyes on the daughter till today, the daughter is now 6 years old.

I have been out of the country for 7 years and I am due to be back in Nigeria in a few weeks time, I am going back to purposely to look for a wife, we are going to be in the same city .

We currently talk everyday and it has been like that since more than 6 years ago, she is not dating anyone at the moment and she also knows I am coming to look for a wife.

Its almost certain that we are going to get back to having sex as its just obvious despite that we have never discussed that, its hard to really stay away from her but not impossible I am thinking there is nothing wrong having her as a Friend With Benefit pending when I get a wife that I want to marry and then discharge her.

Will it be possible to be Friend With Benefit with her and easily discharge her when I find another woman I want to marry without issues ? I love her and would have considered marrying her if not for the history that we shared, we have now become the best of friends, but I am just confused if resuming sex with her will not make it difficult to keep her away from me when I find another woman.

You know women can be very emotional .

Kemabassi:
If You Love her Dont sleep with her. its a time bomb waiting to explode.

I use to have a girl friend who use to visit me in the US from naija. she never told me she had something serious back home until i found out. we talked about it and she apologized. Though i felt cold towards her we were still together until she told me she was getting married and visited for the last time. I gave her money towards the marriage too to let her know she has a friend in me.

The last night before she left we had frank discussion on how our friendship was gonna proceed. because I loved her I told her that she is now married and that we going to be best of friends and that what happened between us should be behind us. we agreed not to have sex again and that i would always be there for each other. I told her I want her to succeed in her marriage. Today she is my main person I ask to do things for me in naija. her husband knows me as her bestie . infact na me dey settle wahala for them self. when she had her baby in the states I was there to assist her.

My brother I want you to be discipline in your dealings with her. its not going to be funny especially when you finally get over to wherever you are.

Babe plenty for naija. you dont have to look far. just do your normal waka and God will see you through. I know you can do it dont underestimate your self ok.

SpyChild:
I am not saying OP should marry her o; but if he DOES marry her, she will never repeat the same mistake because of the position she is in and facing right now.

oldienavie:

We both know I cannot get married to her, so I do not think I am wasting her time as she is aware we cannot get married.

We both like each other, my concern is how easy it will be for her to move on if I start sleeping with her again and I find someone else.

@the bolded, she cheated on me in the past and she is now a single mother, thats a lot of baggage in my opinion. I think our history is just too messed up to make a good family despite that we love each other.

Seems its best we both start afresh.

Guy.....no go and die untimely death ooo...
U are saying a single mother looking for husband is only good for casual fvck to you but not for marriage.... and u are saying she knows this?? Be deciving yourself...she doesnt know anything...

..All she's waiting for is for u to come and marry her...if u come back and fvck her after 7 years of parting, thats consent u have started something new...

...this is not abroad... u dare straff naija babe...single mother for that matter.....u are already owing a ring and tranditional wedding ....

oldienavie:

Thank you for your suggestion, you understand the reality I am faced with.
At this time, she is the only person I can call friend as we have known each other for almost 10 years now and we do share intimate details, for the past 7 years we have been kinda each others emotional support, even when I was dating other ladies here in France and she too back in naija, we both knew everything about each other.

Its just a messed up situation. If I can find a lady as soon as I land in naija then maybe I could disconnect from her but its going to be difficult not to sleep with her while not having any other lady in the picture.

oldienavie:

Thanks for taking time to respond, but sup with the bolded.
I am confused ?
Why would she kill me, we are good friends more like confidant. I don't trust her 100% but I trust her 90%.
Also, by letting her know I haven't forgotten her cheating, am I still going to be knacking her ?
She is an incredibly beautiful lady, its going to be difficult not to sleep with her atleast 2ce but its not impossible.

oldienavie:

Thanks for taking time to respond, but sup with the bolded.
I am confused ?
Why would she kill me, we are good friends more like confidant. I don't trust her 100% but I trust her 90%.
Also, by letting her know I haven't forgotten her cheating, am I still going to be knacking her ?
She is an incredibly beautiful lady, its going to be difficult not to sleep with her atleast 2ce but its not impossible.

oldienavie:

When a woman cheats on you, it never goes away, atleast for me it never does.
It's better not to marry her and start from a new slate.

She is my best friend now, you know that kind of friendship that's just so intimate and pure.
She has a child, that complicates the issue, I'd rather not get into marriage with her but like I said, I love her and I am sure she loves me too.

Love is not enough, I am just wondering if shes not gonna become clingy and impossible to detach when I finally find another person I want to settle down with.

Also this kind of situation is not so easy to move on from since I am still single.

oldienavie:

Thanks for taking time to respond, but sup with the bolded.
I am confused ?
Why would she kill me, we are good friends more like confidant. I don't trust her 100% but I trust her 90%.
Also, by letting her know I haven't forgotten her cheating, am I still going to be knacking her ?
She is an incredibly beautiful lady, its going to be difficult not to sleep with her atleast 2ce but its not impossible.

oldienavie:

We both know I cannot get married to her, so I do not think I am wasting her time as she is aware we cannot get married.

We both like each other, my concern is how easy it will be for her to move on if I start sleeping with her again and I find someone else.

@the bolded, she cheated on me in the past and she is now a single mother, thats a lot of baggage in my opinion. I think our history is just too messed up to make a good family despite that we love each other.

Seems its best we both start afresh.

oldienavie:
I am a single man in my early 30s, I used to have a girlfriend some couple years ago .
She cheated on me, I didnt break up with her but the relationship just kinda died and she moved on .

She started dating another guy but I was also sleeping with her occasionally cos she liked me, anyway, the guy found out and he decided he was not going to marry her, but somehow she got pregnant for the guy.
I was already out of the country when she got pregnant for him.

The guy wanted her to abort but she wouldn't, she has a beautiful daughter now, she is not doing so bad as she works with one of the top banks as she is very comfortable.
Because of the trauma she suffered during pregnancy, she became close to me as the boyfriend totally abandoned her and the guy has not set eyes on the daughter till today, the daughter is now 6 years old.

I have been out of the country for 7 years and I am due to be back in Nigeria in a few weeks time, I am going back to purposely to look for a wife, we are going to be in the same city .

We currently talk everyday and it has been like that since more than 6 years ago, she is not dating anyone at the moment and she also knows I am coming to look for a wife.

Its almost certain that we are going to get back to having sex as its just obvious despite that we have never discussed that, its hard to really stay away from her but not impossible I am thinking there is nothing wrong having her as a Friend With Benefit pending when I get a wife that I want to marry and then discharge her.

Will it be possible to be Friend With Benefit with her and easily discharge her when I find another woman I want to marry without issues ? I love her and would have considered marrying her if not for the history that we shared, we have now become the best of friends, but I am just confused if resuming sex with her will not make it difficult to keep her away from me when I find another woman.

You know women can be very emotional .

oldienavie:
I am a single man in my early 30s, I used to have a girlfriend some couple years ago .
She cheated on me, I didnt break up with her but the relationship just kinda died and she moved on .

She started dating another guy but I was also sleeping with her occasionally cos she liked me, anyway, the guy found out and he decided he was not going to marry her, but somehow she got pregnant for the guy.
I was already out of the country when she got pregnant for him.

The guy wanted her to abort but she wouldn't, she has a beautiful daughter now, she is not doing so bad as she works with one of the top banks as she is very comfortable.
Because of the trauma she suffered during pregnancy, she became close to me as the boyfriend totally abandoned her and the guy has not set eyes on the daughter till today, the daughter is now 6 years old.

I have been out of the country for 7 years and I am due to be back in Nigeria in a few weeks time, I am going back to purposely to look for a wife, we are going to be in the same city .

We currently talk everyday and it has been like that since more than 6 years ago, she is not dating anyone at the moment and she also knows I am coming to look for a wife.

Its almost certain that we are going to get back to having sex as its just obvious despite that we have never discussed that, its hard to really stay away from her but not impossible I am thinking there is nothing wrong having her as a Friend With Benefit pending when I get a wife that I want to marry and then discharge her.

Will it be possible to be Friend With Benefit with her and easily discharge her when I find another woman I want to marry without issues ? I love her and would have considered marrying her if not for the history that we shared, we have now become the best of friends, but I am just confused if resuming sex with her will not make it difficult to keep her away from me when I find another woman.

You know women can be very emotional .

Klass99:


High value kwa .
If you were familiar with the OP's posts, history and antecedents here, you would not say this.

oldienavie:
I am a man in my early 30s, I used to have a girlfriend some couple years ago .
She cheated on me, I didnt break up with her but the relationship just kinda died and she moved on .

She started dating another guy but I was also sleeping with her occasionally cos she liked me, anyway, the guy found out and he decided he was not going to marry her, but somehow she got pregnant for the guy.
I was already out of the country when she got pregnant for him.

The guy wanted her to abort but she wouldn't, she has a beautiful daughter now, she is not doing so bad as she works with one of the top banks as she is very comfortable.
Because of the trauma she suffered during pregnancy, she became close to me as the boyfriend totally abandoned her and the guy has not set eyes on the daughter till today, the daughter is now 6 years old.

I have been out of the country for 7 years and I am due to be back in Nigeria in a few weeks time, I am going back to purposely to look for a wife, we are going to be in the same city .

We currently talk everyday and it has been like that since more than 6 years ago, she is not dating anyone at the moment and she also knows I am coming to look for a wife.

Its almost certain that we are going to get back to having sex as its just obvious despite that we have never discussed that, its hard to really stay away from her but not impossible I am thinking there is nothing wrong having her as a Friend With Benefit pending when I get a wife that I want to marry and then discharge her.

Will it be possible to be Friend With Benefit with her and easily discharge her when I find another woman I want to marry without issues ? I love her and would have considered marrying her if not for the history that we shared, we have now become the best of friends, but I am just confused if resuming sex with her will not make it difficult to keep her away from me when I find another woman.

You know women can be very emotional .

oldienavie:

Thanks for taking time to respond, but sup with the bolded.
I am confused ?
Why would she kill me, we are good friends more like confidant. I don't trust her 100% but I trust her 90%.
Also, by letting her know I haven't forgotten her cheating, am I still going to be knacking her ?
She is an incredibly beautiful lady, its going to be difficult not to sleep with her atleast 2ce but its not impossible.

oldienavie:

Thanks for taking time to respond, but sup with the bolded.
I am confused ?
Why would she kill me, we are good friends more like confidant. I don't trust her 100% but I trust her 90%.
Also, by letting her know I haven't forgotten her cheating, am I still going to be knacking her ?
She is an incredibly beautiful lady, its going to be difficult not to sleep with her atleast 2ce but its not impossible.

oldienavie:
I am a single man in my early 30s, I used to have a girlfriend some couple years ago .
She cheated on me, I didnt break up with her but the relationship just kinda died and she moved on .

She started dating another guy but I was also sleeping with her occasionally cos she liked me, anyway, the guy found out and he decided he was not going to marry her, but somehow she got pregnant for the guy.
I was already out of the country when she got pregnant for him.

The guy wanted her to abort but she wouldn't, she has a beautiful daughter now, she is not doing so bad as she works with one of the top banks as she is very comfortable.
Because of the trauma she suffered during pregnancy, she became close to me as the boyfriend totally abandoned her and the guy has not set eyes on the daughter till today, the daughter is now 6 years old.

I have been out of the country for 7 years and I am due to be back in Nigeria in a few weeks time, I am going back to purposely to look for a wife, we are going to be in the same city .

We currently talk everyday and it has been like that since more than 6 years ago, she is not dating anyone at the moment and she also knows I am coming to look for a wife.

Its almost certain that we are going to get back to having sex as its just obvious despite that we have never discussed that, its hard to really stay away from her but not impossible I am thinking there is nothing wrong having her as a Friend With Benefit pending when I get a wife that I want to marry and then discharge her.

Will it be possible to be Friend With Benefit with her and easily discharge her when I find another woman I want to marry without issues ? I love her and would have considered marrying her if not for the history that we shared, we have now become the best of friends, but I am just confused if resuming sex with her will not make it difficult to keep her away from me when I find another woman.

You know women can be very emotional .