I feel so disappointed you are seeking public opinion. Serve her mum same cup of tea. You can't treat my mum like a trash and except me to treat your mum like a queen. Who ever coin that word forgive here is insane. Don't accept and be a man for once. If you mum had stayed in your house, I bet she won't died when she died. Plz let her own mother stay wherever and let them hire someone to take care of her WHAT NONSENSE. TILL THIS MOMENT GOD IS YET TO FORGIVE SATAN. NA ME WANT START THE FORGIVENESS.

ridwintin89:

You never understand women and life.I pity u.You will understand in old age.

Don't pity me, I don't need it. If a marriage is not working for you end it then feel free to remarry if you so chooses.

iInjureHerYansh:
If you ever quote me again ogun go strike your slacked, overused kpekus

I’ve quoted you. I’m waiting for the strike.

You judged your moms patience wrongly. Yes she did that for peace doesn't mean that would definitely seat well in her mind. That action alone is enough to add to her pains of motherwood and might even be your fault she died more earlier because yes she might leave but do you know if she is thinking and crying when she gets home You really did some damage to your mom ignorantly and I pray she forgives you in her sleep. That's completely wrong in all aspect. Even if she wanted to leave you were supposed to block the door and say No way not you allowing her. Even if to kneel down by the door to tell her no way not been cool because she said so. She only acted the way any elder would behave and it's now your duty to defend her but you didn't. Motherwood is not by sending money to her alone, am sorry but am not sure you made your mom enjoyed her last days at all courtesy to you and not your wife because you allowed such impudence

SPAMBOX7:
So you saying you even had a brawl with your wife cos of your mom in your mom's presence.
OK wait lemme rephrase. You mean your wife wanted your mom out to the extent that your mom heard about it and had to leave your home?
So because your mom was cool headed you let your wife had her way with her?
Wow my guy you weak o. Sure say no be you be wife for that house?

madridguy:

If you know what is good for you, start looking for a second wife somewhere otherwise you will bite your fingers in your old age. I won't say more than that.

If the second wife misbehaves nkor, you marry a third one? Is this how muslim men solve their marriage problems?

Bro you turned your own mother away for your wife ? The one who gave birth to you and raised you and was all alone for the devil woman you married ? It's too late for regrets now but you should have kept your mother with you and if your wife had a problem with it, kick your wife out.

MrBrownJay1:


if the above is how your wife felt about your own mother coming to stay with you guys, then she has NO RIGHT to expect her own mother to come stay with you guys... NONE!

Period! I do not want to hear anymore, this pretty much ends it…

You sent your mum to early grave knowing she's old just to please a woman, weakling of the highest order.

You literally k1lled your mother, Murd£rer!

Know what you what as a man and have a stand, There's no peace in this world, after murdering your mum is the peace no everlasting ? Now you need to accommodate her own mother.?

After all these things wey my mama go through for me all I can say is may God punish any woman that want me to trade my mum for peace,

Tuuueh.

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

Women and always claiming to be victims.If her mom dies she will still blame the husband.Which kind gender be this ?

I hope I enter this situation one day.If she move mad I move madder.

cococandy:
Okay use your data analysis expertise to explain why men are doing everything to run away from caring for their aging parents.
Now you’re mentioning maids, some have mentioned caregivers. And obviously the rest of you want your wives to do it. This thing you’re taking for granted that everyone else but you will be available to do it.

Why aren’t you doing it yourselves?

And tell me with your expertise in data analytics how what you’ve said disproves my point about men always shifting the care labor to females around them.
Quickly

It’s very hard understanding you, What brought about data analysis was based on “men providing financially for the household” , now you changed the conversation to “ men running away from caring for their aged parents” .

Secondly, you talked about caring like it’s something outta this world, not all aged parents are ill or couldn’t do basic things like bathing, eating or those lil things. Even in cases where they are ill, and the man is always busy working or “providing” for the household and the wife isn’t interested he employs a Caregiver to take care of her, caregiver can be employed and monitored.

The man allowing parents to stay, providing for their needs, employing maids or caregiver is part of caring for them, or you don’t know the definition of caring again ?

why are you justifying the nonsense attitude of the wife? Op pointed out she was maltreating his mother when she came ? Do you pray your son’s wife to maltreat you in your old age ? I’m sure Bible and Quran pointed out how you should respect your parents or any one other than you if you wanna live long. I hope you would be proud telling your parents you supporting a lady maltreating her husband mother?

Guy give her the same treatment she gave to your mum.

For actually sending your mum away I think you need to apologize to her(she'll hear you from great beyond)

McLizbae:
Nawa o! See plenty derogatory words: baskard, s2pit, fool, brainlens, just to for you to contribute to a simple matter! Eh! Wale take it easy o! It is well.

Seriously I did not even contribute to the matter because I didn't read it, I just woke and I decided to give a lecture about life

Brotherly,

In as much to err is human and to forgive is divine I will advice that you should not accept your mother in law into your home, what goes around comes around, I said this because your late mum spirit will never let you rest, your wife should be taught a lesson, if you allow this to sly she will justify her reasons and that will make your more angry later without realizing the length and consequence of her actions, if I were in your shoes I will sit her down and let her know but it will never backed down on my decision even if the heaven falls.

Some women don't learn this should serve as a hard lessons for her, tomorrow don't be surprised if another close family of hers falls sick she will still want you to consider them to come live in your house support her financially in taken care of her mum but never allow her mum to be in your house my 50 cent piece of advice to you.

Jamesbiodun:
Give her the treatment she give to you selah

I agree with this!

Fearcom:


Hmmm!

Awon okurin o raye wa oo!

What is good for the goose is also good for the gander.

All the men should gather here amd take this advoce:

1. NEVER, NEVER PAMPER A BAD WIFE.

2. HANDLE HER WITH AN IRON HAND. LET HER KNOW THAT SHE EITHER SUBMITS OR YOU KICK HER OUT. PERIOD

Marriage doesn't work that way
Am sure you are not married

akinbodma:


Best advice
Welcome her mom, while you also switch character after 2/3 days of her arrival

Let her use her imagination
So she can remember it’s a man and woman like she also said before

That's it

MediaBoyfriend:


Disgusting! Manipulative swines!! His refusal may react to another thing? Who cares? His mom should be very disappointed at him in her grave if he ever thought of accepting the wife's mom to stay with them. And you, stop manipulating men! Stop that rubbish. Op return the energy now. If her family needs monetary support, if you have, give. But if staying with you, don't let that happen.

Your thinking is quite different, the Op already know what to do, he just wants to know if we will support his decision

sandra50:
His refusal will react to what thing?did her own refusal react to anything then?if she passes her boundaries then he should send her back to her father's house

You think it's automatic to send a woman with children out and back to her father's house

Its something you have to apply wisdom with

It is payback time and you’ll be stupid not to pay her back. Even if you pretend to forgive her and allow her to bring her mom into your house, you’ll always feel bad towards your wife and her mother whenever you see her mother in your house and remember what your wife did to your mom. My candid advice to you is, don’t allow her to bring her mother to your house. What you sow is what you reap.

Rinoxy:

I agree with your submission but the bolded Anything wey wan happen make e happen. Na man mama dem treat like this for him own house o!

Yes you are right
But my submission of the react, is centered on the children who may witness nonsense from both parents when the drama starts

Aklee4994:
same thing will happen to your son

I know you have bastards as children , so rejoice because you will not experience anything

DO NOT allow your mother-law to come and stay with you. Let them handle it the same way you handled your mother when she needed your help, PERIOD! Let people know how it feels. I don't know if you wear the pant in your house, if you do, you must stand your ground no matter what. She will respect you more for it and how you feel will matter to her next time.

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

Livelystone01:

It won't become another thing, people should learn to understand that there's a consequence for every action. You people forgot to return the quote she gave? Marriage is between a man and a woman, no one else should be included according to her.

She should hire someone to take care of her mother period!

You guys always want to eat your cake and have it at the same time.

For the mere fact that her husband will not contribute a penny for her medication is enough for his wife to deal with

By then she will feel more emotional pains than what she did to her mother in law and it will be too late to apologize

shantti:


Things actually work that way
He will not let her in
And you are not the man
What goes around comes around

Dont be surprise if he let her in

Is not weakness and it's only God that will reward him

frozen70:


You think it's automatic to send a woman with children out and back to her father's house

Its something you have to apply wisdom with

It's automatic!
Move out and get along with a life without her and she knows, albeit within herself, that's she's as good as being in her father's house.
Not much drama, move few things that are essential, keep the rest for the comfort of the kids, let the games begin. One does not need to cope with an entitled bit"h for a second. How come your mom should come stay when mine couldn't, plus my money oooo! Ogun go kee some f beings urgently. 😠

udomma1005:

It's automatic!
Move out and get along with a life without her and she knows, albeit within herself, that's she's as good as being in her father's house.
Not much drama, move few things that are essential, keep the rest for the comfort of the kids, let the games begin. One does not need to cope with an entitled bit"h for a second. How come your mom should come stay when mine couldn't, plus my money oooo! Ogun go kee some f beings urgently. 😠

What if she has been the one financing the home front and was actually the one paying rent and you are just not contributing anything at home

Will you still kick her out or rather move out of the home and go and start life afresh

And she will feel the rejection more and wonder what is wrong with her and that may send her into depression or worse when she finds out that his wife's mother is now living with them. I hate soft men!

Since men are technically the bread winner and have more say in the household, his side of the family have more rights in the home.

Exodus15v11:
You were your mom's only child left in Nigeria, hence she should have stayed with you to take better care of her and show her love during her remaining years, but you sent her away because of your wife, knowing fully well that she was not only ill but she was lonely. You did not do right by the woman. I can only imagine how she must have felt.

Yes, the same rule should apply to your wife's mom. You two can find someone to go stay with her and look after the finances involved. Or one of her siblings can go stay with her. As her siblings are there in Nigeria, she has a lot more family support than you did, which makes it even more baffling that she wants to be a hyprocrite and have her mom stay with you when she denied your mom of this same treatment and was hostile towards her.

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

I have no time to read what you wrote up there. Stop her if your wife stopped yours.

MrBrownJay1:


if the above is how your wife felt about your own mother coming to stay with you guys, then she has NO RIGHT to expect her own mother to come stay with you guys... NONE!

u are very right. Some men need to have firm grip on thier wives

Don't allow her. Pay someone to stay n take care of her . Sir pls don't let ur wife dictate for u in some issues...have firm grip

wow so we still have Men that can chose to stay with a wife than their Mum, what a world we are remember that she can leave you too whenever u fall sick

@bold and I responded that it’s not the reality for a majority of families. As far as real life is concerned women provide too. Your fake expertise in data analytics doesn’t change those facts . I don’t know what’s difficult for you to understand there.

2) we are talking about sick parents in this case aren’t we? You’re using men are providing as a justification as to why they can’t be the one’s actually caring for their sick parents. So proving my point that y’all will find a way to shift the responsibility to someone else. I don’t see how you’re agreeing with me yet arguing against my point.

I know it’s more convenient for you to accuse me of justifying women being mean to their in-laws as you implied than to openly agree that when most men get married, they assume and take it for granted that their wives are going to be responsible for caring for the parents if necessary.

Mrbllymer:

It’s very hard understanding you, What brought about data analysis was based on “men providing financially for the household ” , now you changed the conversation to “ men running away from caring for their aged parents” .

Secondly, you talked about caring like it’s something outta this world, not all aged parents are ill or couldn’t do basic things like bathing, eating or those lil things. Even in cases where they are ill, and the man is always busy working or “providing” for the household and the wife isn’t interested he employs a Caregiver to take care of her, caregiver can be employed and monitored.

The man allowing parents to stay, providing for their needs, employing maids or caregiver is part of caring for them, or you don’t know the definition of caring again ?

why are you justifying the nonsense attitude of the wife? Op pointed out she was maltreating his mother when she came ? Do you pray your son’s wife to maltreat you in your old age ? I’m sure Bible and Quran pointed out how you should respect your parents or any one other than you if you wanna live long. I hope you would be proud telling your parents you supporting a lady maltreating her husband mother?