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Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by MadarasBlade(m): 6:53pm On Mar 29, 2023
Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

Permit me to say you're not okay.

18 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Dtruthspeaker: 7:00pm On Mar 29, 2023
Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown...

Stop lying and taking advantage of the fact that we love good things while you people are evil.

I get your mother, you get mine, good or bad, we are in it together, that is what marriage is about.

But as the wife played it so, It must be replied like that.

8 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Dtruthspeaker: 7:01pm On Mar 29, 2023
MadarasBlade:


Permit me to say you're not okay.

You dey mind the woman.

11 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by EriMma1: 7:03pm On Mar 29, 2023
Dtruthspeaker:


It's not him who is treating the mother badly, it is daughter who did.

Let's temper justice with mercy. Two wrongs cannot make a right
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by shantti(m): 7:32pm On Mar 29, 2023
Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

Most men too feel inconvenient around their mother in law, not cos of hate but becos of the fear of the unknown.

So try and understand with the op why he wouldn't like to let the woman come to his house.

Just see how u are defending wickedness, u women eh....

17 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by shantti(m): 7:38pm On Mar 29, 2023
frozen70:


I understand how you feel about her treatment to your mum and eventually she passed on because she didn't get the care you have planned for her due to your wife refusal to cooperate with her

Now it's her mums turn, just allow her to come the one let her provide her needs while you focus on the family needs as usual

What she denied you off is what she is requesting your approval to get, such is life

Your refusal may react to another thing

Why r u women like this
Why do u support evil so far it is your gender that perpetrate it.

So the wife's refusal to let her mom in law come wouldn't lead to another this.

OP!!!! DO NOT LET THAT WOMAN STAY IN YOU UR HOUSE. GIVE HER SAME TREATMENT!!!!!!??

8 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Bintdawood(f): 7:59pm On Mar 29, 2023
Eyyyerhh😕😕
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Bfly: 8:00pm On Mar 29, 2023
For no reason should you allow it. No reason at all.

4 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by shantti(m): 8:01pm On Mar 29, 2023
Samantha124:
Who were you expecting to nurse your mother had it been she stayed with you guys until she passed away?

Your wife?

Who do u expect to cater for the op's mother in law's medical expense should he let her come. And who told u op cannot take care of his mum

5 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by cococandy(f): 8:02pm On Mar 29, 2023
When sick and old in-laws come to live with the family, the expectation is that the wife will be the one to provide care for the sick and old family member. So your wife should have the final say on who’s coming for extended say in my opinion.

Because let’s face it, your wife would have been the one to give your mom bed baths, bathroom care etc. now that her mom is coming, she’s still the one who will be expected to do that. Not you.

So it might not be the presence of your mom she didn’t want. She just didn’t want the extra responsibility which invariably falls on her. Before you ask why she can’t treat your mom the way she treats her mom, know that her mom will be willing to die for her but your mom won’t. That’s the difference

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by seanwilliam(m): 8:02pm On Mar 29, 2023
EriMma1:
I would have told you to do what is in your mind but then, it wasn't the mother who offended you but your wife. Besides you had the choice to let your mother stay with you but you succumbed to her will and let her will prevail. So don't treat the old woman badly because of her daughters sins.

Forgive and let the old woman come. After all she would be the one to do all the care job, not you.

see manipulation as its peak grin

9 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by kevin25(m): 8:03pm On Mar 29, 2023
ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?
if you allow her in your will be the biggest fool alive

5 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by cococandy(f): 8:03pm On Mar 29, 2023
Samantha124:
Who were you expecting to nurse your mother had it been she stayed with you guys until she passed away?

Your wife?

Thats usually the expectation and they don’t see how that’s a big deal even though they themselves can hardly put their lives on hold for one of their own kids much less an in-law.

3 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Femich18(m): 8:04pm On Mar 29, 2023
What's good for the goose is good for the gander

5 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Bluffly: 8:04pm On Mar 29, 2023
ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

Remimd her what she did. If she sounds remorseful and felt bad, forgive her but if she tries to justify herself, stand your ground and do not permit her mother to come
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Dottormentor: 8:04pm On Mar 29, 2023
No don't allow her, oponu oshi, I wonder the kind of family that allowed you to marry their daughter, boda ode, so you can't handle your family matter within ur family until you bring it to market square.
All these kids self
Shior
Oshisco PLC bi eran asewo
ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by fairchuks: 8:05pm On Mar 29, 2023
If you are a Fool... Allow it... Just remember...one good turn deserves another... Don't allow her mum for any reason...

5 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by ImoleNaija: 8:05pm On Mar 29, 2023
Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

1 Like

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by ugofab11(m): 8:05pm On Mar 29, 2023
ojun50:
Discuss with her and remind her how she treated yr mum, then tell her to give you time to think about it.

In the end still allow her mother to come and stay for peace and unity
Bro outrightly reject that shit.tell her to get a care giver to take care of her mom why are you so weak?Do you need your wife's validation to bring your mom to stay temporally with you?That woman is suffering from loneliness cuz you are the only one in the country.Youe mom first bro

4 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by temiprinciple(m): 8:05pm On Mar 29, 2023
Tell her that her mum must not spend more than two weeks in that house... honestly I wonder how some men allow there wife to dictate to them in their home..my wife will never try any of this shit with me shall ..she know me very well

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by seanwilliam(m): 8:05pm On Mar 29, 2023
frozen70:


I understand how you feel about her treatment to your mum and eventually she passed on because she didn't get the care you have planned for her due to your wife refusal to cooperate with her

Now it's her mums turn, just allow her to come the one let her provide her needs while you focus on the family needs as usual

What she denied you off is what she is requesting your approval to get, such is life

Your refusal may react to another thing

Women and manipulation .

5 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by XTHRONE(m): 8:05pm On Mar 29, 2023
ojun50:
Discuss with her and remind her how she treated yr mum, then tell her to give you time to think about it.

In the end still allow her mother to come and stay for peace and unity


U are a fool. What stupid peace and useless unity.discuss what with what, Allow what to come stay where, after rejecting her husband Mom, if u are a male, shame on u, it's women that comment this way, because they always come to defense wen it suit them bunch of selfish unrepentant, unapologetic, unappreciating hypocrites.

9 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Mom007(f): 8:06pm On Mar 29, 2023
Return evil for evil to no one. Especially not your wife Oga.
Look, there is something I always tell my son whenever he comes to complain of his younger sisters behavior of not playing fair during their games and such. I tell him that ladies are not nice. He should never hold a lady to the same standard he will hold himself, he should always be the bigger person. Besides he is older. Truth is, We ladies are mean especially to our fellow gender. Sometimes we don't even mean it, its just how we are wired.
Be the bigger person bro.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by IamtheTruth1(m): 8:06pm On Mar 29, 2023
ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

You Dad died while you where in the University right? Meaning your Mom was there for you and your siblings. All through the years of struggle. Now you are financially okay for you Mom to relax and enjoy her old age. You wife is against the idea and wants to bring in her Mothet into your home.

Omo everyone should play the hands they are dealt. Your wife is selfish. You can actually see how selfish she is if you do suggest that you both rent a place and pay someone to take care of her Mom.


I still don't know why you are looking for advice? Na wife ur pay the bride price?

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by BigBrother9ja: 8:07pm On Mar 29, 2023
Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.
See how nobody liked your post because it's stup!d....
The only reason why a wife will have fear of unknown around her mother in-law is because SHE DOESN'T WANT HER MISCHIEVES TO BE NOTICED AND CALLED OUT BY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS HOW YOU PEOPLE OPERATE...

6 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by cococandy(f): 8:07pm On Mar 29, 2023
shantti:


Who do u expect to cater for the op's mother in law's medical expense should he let her come. And who told u op cannot take care of his mum

I wouldn’t expect him to foot the bills as if it’s his responsibility. It’s not. If he helps that’s fine and wonderful but he shouldn’t be expected to do it as if his job. After all she has 3 older siblings who can contribute financially to their moms care

3 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by highyo: 8:07pm On Mar 29, 2023
Do good to those who wrong you
Never pay evil for evil

God is only testing you perhaps you will fail or pass it
It's in your hands

Leave God to judge
Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Micval: 8:07pm On Mar 29, 2023
ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

She didn't accept your mum to be taken care of in your home and he expects you to allow her bring her own mum in, who does that

2 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Bluffly: 8:07pm On Mar 29, 2023
cococandy:


Thats usually the expectation and they don’t see how that’s a big deal even though they themselves can hardly put their lives on hold for one of their own kids much less an in-law.
Stop thinking in one cube. Did the op mention asking her wife to put her life on hold, Op did not mention if they have a live in maid. So do not assume what was not mentioned.

3 Likes

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Tannhauser(m): 8:07pm On Mar 29, 2023
shocked
By God, I no know which kain weak men full this world 🌍 today, I swear by Ukpabi, just one look wey I go give my wife, she go recall all she did to me and my mum and she will NEVER bring up that topic again till her mum passes away.
Dey play.

I swear I'm so pained...e be like say na me this kain rubbish go happen to, I for show am wetin fire dey carry rat ears do.

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by highyo: 8:08pm On Mar 29, 2023
BigBrother9ja:

See how nobody liked your post because it's stup!d....
The only reason why a wife will have fear of unknown around her mother in-law is because SHE DOESN'T WANT HER MISCHIEVES TO BE NOTICED AND CALLED OUT BY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS HOW YOU PEOPLE OPERATE...

Take am easy na

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