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A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by Psoul(m): 6:28am On May 17, 2023
Iamgodskid:
A QUICK QUESTION TO THE MARRIED FOLKS HERE
...
...
...
During the early stage of marriage, there's usually this level of serenity n respect for each other but as time goes on, the story changes n then over familiarity n all the sh*t that comes with it, starts to set in,

with the level of "over familiarity" involved in marriage,

how do u guys still maintain the honour and regard for each other despite having seen n known everything there is to see n know about your partner...

You know how people can be most times, they start behaving funny when they finally get settled comfortably with you,



🤥🤥🤥


I'll tell u same thing I always like to tell ppl about relationship.
Do not marry just because of love. Marry who you are truly committed to and who you can respect. Be disciplined and marry your type.
Below was my advice to a friend in 2018 on this forum

"I have discovered that love doesn't guarantee the success of a relationship. Love cannot help you stick to one person all year round, and on the other hand, cheating isn't always a product of not loving your partner.

In fact, loving someone doesn't guarantee not falling in love with someone else. Relationships work out mostly because of our heads not our hearts.

It works out because of our emotional maturity, empathetic intelligence and self discipline; because, time will come when you'll see more beautiful, handsome, romantic, intelligent, sexy, rich, curvy and God fearing people than the one you're in a relationship with.

In those times, love will not help you. Self control will help you. Emotional intelligence will come to your rescue and commitment will keep you going.

With those characteristics, no matter how you feel for someone else, the person you're committed to will rank first in your life.

You think happily married people don't see better people than the ones they married to? You think they don't feel funny sometimes? You think they don't catch feelings? They do!

But understanding that commitment is greater than feelings and it is the great arsenal that destroys those unhelpful impulses.

You can fall in love with anyone, but building a relationship takes absolutely more than what attracted you to them and takes more than love.

We are too fond of loving when it's convenient and sweet. We are too fond of loving when love is there; but that can only last for just the first 3 - 6 months of the relationship in many cases.

After then, you'll realise that the feelings have dropped and it's now your responsibility to make the relationship work, not love's responsibility.

Relationships cannot be readymade. You have to build it and it's never always about love, it requires commitment and intelligence.

On the long run in marriages, it's not just love that keeps them together forever, it's determination and commitment.

Everyone falls in love; it takes little or no effort to do that. But staying in love? Building a relationship? Only the strong and committed ones do that.

That's why we must find that one person and commit to that one, discipline yourself and bridle your emotions.

Building a relationship is hard work, it's like building a career, It's like pursuing a dream.

It's always tough. At some point it will be so bitter but you can make it work by putting your heads together. You can scale through the trying times by staying focused and committed.

The kind of love that attracts two people together is not the kind of love that will keep them together. Be emotionally strong, be self disciplined and above all, have the God factor that will give you the grace needed to reign you in.

God Bless.

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by CoolAmbience(m): 6:55am On May 17, 2023
Persephone1:
Here with jotter and pen cheesy


Oya, write this down.

Extensively discuss and share individual principles about life. Evaluate and study each other to measure compatibility from day one. Do not take the word 'love' too seriously, focus more on physical relations and watch out for attributes such as respectfulness, fidelity, cleanliness, compassion, empathy, patience, forgiveness, tolerance and pay undivided attention to temperament and rationality.

Comot mind for 'sabiness to knack'. E follow o, but with a partner that bears a choking poor character, you'd likely not be thinking of knacks.

Overall, with most of the attributes I listed earlier plus controlled expectations, una go surely dey alright. Just no say no be Jesus you marry.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by Moniya4Real(m): 7:49am On May 17, 2023
Spot on bro, but it’s usually a one way thing cos , we men, tend to respect women regardless of their status , beauty etc. But how will these daughters of Eve respect we men when we our pockets are not really full. As a man, the most important thing is to have money, your woman, her families will have the course to respect you, even if they do not like you.



uncleck:
I am not married, but I do know that love is not a good basis for marriage. Long lasting marriage is one built on mutual respect. Partners have to prioritize respect above everything else. That's the only way to surmount the ills of see-finish

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by uncleck: 7:54am On May 17, 2023
Moniya4Real:

Spot on bro, but it’s usually a one way thing cos , we men, tend to respect women regardless of their status , beauty etc. But how will these daughters of Eve respect we men when we our pockets are not really full. As a man, the most important thing is to have money, your woman, her families will have the course to respect you, even if they do not like you.



That is not totally correct, bro. No matter how wealthy you are, a disrespectful woman will always disrespect you. We are talking about a woman that started dating sugar daddies way richer than you when they were still teenagers. Respect is a character that has to be cultivated. If both partners are intentional about it right from their dating period, they'll consciously improve on it
Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by Moniya4Real(m): 7:57am On May 17, 2023
“respectfulness, fidelity, cleanliness, compassion, empathy, patience, forgiveness, tolerance and pay undivided attention to temperament and rationality”

And equally important: Controlled expectations and or ‘inordinate ambition’.


I can’t agree with you more.







CoolAmbience:



Oya, write this down.

Extensively discuss and share individual principles about life. Evaluate and study each other to measure compatibility from day one. Do not take the word 'love' too seriously, focus more on physical relations and watch out for attributes such as respectfulness, fidelity, cleanliness, compassion, empathy, patience, forgiveness, tolerance and pay undivided attention to temperament and rationality.

Comot mind for 'sabiness to knack'. E follow o, but with a partner that bears a choking poor character, you'd likely not be thinking of knacks.

Overall, with most of the attributes I listed earlier plus controlled expectations, una go surely dey alright. Just no say no be Jesus you marry.



Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by Moniya4Real(m): 8:05am On May 17, 2023
I quite agree with you, but I am a firm believer of the fact that All these can hardly be achieved without having the fear of God in one’s hear just like you rightly mentioned in the last paragraph .



Psoul:



I'll tell u same thing I always like to tell ppl about relationship.
Do not marry just because of love. Marry who you are truly committed to and who you can respect. Be disciplined and marry your type.
Below was my advice to a friend in 2018 on this forum

"I have discovered that love doesn't guarantee the success of a relationship. Love cannot help you stick to one person all year round, and on the other hand, cheating isn't always a product of not loving your partner.

In fact, loving someone doesn't guarantee not falling in love with someone else. Relationships work out mostly because of our heads not our hearts.

It works out because of our emotional maturity, empathetic intelligence and self discipline; because, time will come when you'll see more beautiful, handsome, romantic, intelligent, sexy, rich, curvy and God fearing people than the one you're in a relationship with.

In those times, love will not help you. Self control will help you. Emotional intelligence will come to your rescue and commitment will keep you going.

With those characteristics, no matter how you feel for someone else, the person you're committed to will rank first in your life.

You think happily married people don't see better people than the ones they married to? You think they don't feel funny sometimes? You think they don't catch feelings? They do!

But understanding that commitment is greater than feelings and it is the great arsenal that destroys those unhelpful impulses.

You can fall in love with anyone, but building a relationship takes absolutely more than what attracted you to them and takes more than love.

We are too fond of loving when it's convenient and sweet. We are too fond of loving when love is there; but that can only last for just the first 3 - 6 months of the relationship in many cases.

After then, you'll realise that the feelings have dropped and it's now your responsibility to make the relationship work, not love's responsibility.

Relationships cannot be readymade. You have to build it and it's never always about love, it requires commitment and intelligence.

On the long run in marriages, it's not just love that keeps them together forever, it's determination and commitment.

Everyone falls in love; it takes little or no effort to do that. But staying in love? Building a relationship? Only the strong and committed ones do that.

That's why we must find that one person and commit to that one, discipline yourself and bridle your emotions.

Building a relationship is hard work, it's like building a career, It's like pursuing a dream.

It's always tough. At some point it will be so bitter but you can make it work by putting your heads together. You can scale through the trying times by staying focused and committed.

The kind of love that attracts two people together is not the kind of love that will keep them together. Be emotionally strong, be self disciplined and above all, have the God factor that will give you the grace needed to reign you in.

God Bless.

1 Like

Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by Heroicvic(m): 8:27am On May 17, 2023
I
Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by Heroicvic(m): 8:30am On May 17, 2023
EndRape2:
You are still single that is why you are capping rubbish, if you misbehave in marriage, your partner will insult you, .

If you cheat ,she calls you a dog, if you can not meet up with your financial responsibilities , and your mumu pride can not make you ,talk to her calmly. and bear with you for now you will be called a useless man.


If you do not want Insult, you have to be thatnperfect man, that does not Insult his wife too, and play his role as a man well.













quote author=Heroicvic post=123175605]Sorry is it just me that has this pride and won’t think twice before sending any woman that disrespect me in a marriage or relationship off?

I’m sorry but I can’t stand you insulting me while I feed you till you die😏




During the census you should be counted as a livestock ‬too, two digits IQ everywhere on this forum
Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by tiswell(m): 9:11am On May 17, 2023
MissOpe:


Marriage too sweet abeg........

Especially if you marry a true friend like a brother....

Na everyday jollification believe me when I say so
we don dey hear this line for ages.

Yet, we never see a married man or woman wen no dey complain
Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by SEALL(m): 9:16am On May 17, 2023
You cannot choose a goat as a partner and expect respect cos they only demand it but respect is earned. The purpose of pre-marital counseling.
Treat ur, partner, the way you wish to be treated, and also learn ways to enjoy your marital life. and most importantly don't start what you can't finish, that is to say, don't start living like a couple while still in the dating period.

1 Like

Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by Shorty1980: 9:48am On May 17, 2023
I love my wife before I married her but now I can’t Cary her with my car but we live in the same house..I hate her like shit because of her attitude and lies .if I die today, she will not get anything from me ,only my car is what she can have access to and I can’t change it
Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by pandoragirigory: 10:09am On May 17, 2023
EndRape2:
Mumu, do not marry a virgin, marry a good girl, from a well brough up home.
"a well brough up home" like you that insult people unprovoked, charity begins at home, evidences of good behavior is keeping virginity (same denial) not virtue-less ladies badly used ladies around that exchange virginity for indomie and egg and later claiming being well brought up, someone that do not fear GOD
Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by Princelyon247(m): 10:13am On May 17, 2023
It's just like me ,my babe dn see me finish but she still dey respect me
Regardless so , I'm already knowing how our marriage go like

Despite our long time spent together,she doesn't get enough or tired of me

Same as I

With the love we have 4 ourselves
We will be fine
Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by Munzy14(m): 10:21am On May 17, 2023
Persephone1:
Here with jotter and pen cheesy
Abeg shift make I join you..😁😁😁
Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by Nobody: 11:38am On May 17, 2023
Munzy14:

Abeg shift make I join you..😁😁😁
After class don end... School 3 children grin
Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by dododawa1: 11:48am On May 17, 2023
Get MONEY involved
Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by walexok: 12:48pm On May 17, 2023
Iamgodskid:
A QUICK QUESTION TO THE MARRIED FOLKS HERE
...
...
...
During the early stage of marriage, there's usually this level of serenity n respect for each other but as time goes on, the story changes n then over familiarity n all the sh*t that comes with it, starts to set in,

with the level of "over familiarity" involved in marriage,

how do u guys still maintain the honour and regard for each other despite having seen n known everything there is to see n know about your partner...

You know how people can be most times, they start behaving funny when they finally get settled comfortably with you,



🤥🤥🤥

Only sane mentally, socially, physically, financially and emotionally matured adults should marry and everything you raised will not be an issue.
Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by Ade1177: 1:06pm On May 17, 2023
slawomir:
Damnnn niggar
The sex part is what baffles me

How do I continue to bang one particular pussy for years
Will my dickkk ever get excited the way it was from the beginning for my wife...over familiarity of her kpekus will weakened my dickkk

Forget sex

You barely get sex

Always one excuse or the other

Single people get 1000x more sex than married guys

Ladies see sex as favour to you
Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by afariogunone1(f): 1:18pm On May 17, 2023
Always remember the reason you got into the relationship called marriage in the first place
LOVE
Love conquers all things including the familiarity

Iamgodskid:
A QUICK QUESTION TO THE MARRIED FOLKS HERE
...
...
...
During the early stage of marriage, there's usually this level of serenity n respect for each other but as time goes on, the story changes n then over familiarity n all the sh*t that comes with it, starts to set in,

with the level of "over familiarity" involved in marriage,

how do u guys still maintain the honour and regard for each other despite having seen n known everything there is to see n know about your partner...

You know how people can be most times, they start behaving funny when they finally get settled comfortably with you,



🤥🤥🤥
Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by PUMPIN11(m): 3:28pm On May 17, 2023
Dear Poster,
Some of us are just hanging in there 'cos that was what we signed up for.
It takes great wisdom and intelligence to know even ahead of getting married, that there will come a time when all the glitz and glamour would have died-down and the true reality of marriage that comes with lots of responsibilities and commitments vis-à-vis loss of "absolute freedom, will eventually play out.
For me, love itself is a "commitment and as such, whatever you are committed to, you will always work at, irrespective of the rosiness or not. Each partner must however from time to time review the state of things and try as much as possible to bring back romance into marriages despite the challenges that naturally comes with the "over familiarities"
#Shalom


Iamgodskid:
A QUICK QUESTION TO THE MARRIED FOLKS HERE
...
...
...
During the early stage of marriage, there's usually this level of serenity n respect for each other but as time goes on, the story changes n then over familiarity n all the sh*t that comes with it, starts to set in,

with the level of "over familiarity" involved in marriage,

how do u guys still maintain the honour and regard for each other despite having seen n known everything there is to see n know about your partner...

You know how people can be most times, they start behaving funny when they finally get settled comfortably with you,



🤥🤥🤥
Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by kinkydude: 6:28pm On May 17, 2023
The post means '' see finish'' ba? Just maintain boundaries, respect each other wella from week one. Even with marriage hassles, things will be cool.
Re: A Quick Question To The Married Folks Here by MissOpe(f): 9:14pm On May 17, 2023
tiswell:
we don dey hear this line for ages.

Yet, we never see a married man or woman wen no dey complain

Complain must dey na...

They you and your folks never fight before, you have mild fights here and there, then settle, and the cycle continues

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