A certain friend of mine just got involved with this chick.and of course,they are both from a particular nigerian state.But the guy actually belongs to a particular tribe with a damaged reputation.so,when the girl demanded to know his tribe,he had to lie about it.

he later informed me that,had he told the truth about his tribe,the chick would have shown him a red card.And,to be honest,this guy qualifies as an absolute gentleman.
So,how important is tribe in nigerian relationships?Is it appropriate for people to generalise that,if one is from a particular tribe with a supposedly damaged reputation,he is bad?

Its not as if there's any big deal in it and that a particular tribe has a bad reputation doesn't mean everyone from there is bad,but with the situation of things in this country I'm really choosy as regards where or whom I want to settle with.

Come abeg talk your own,read well before you post I said I'm being choosy due to how things are in this country,if things were different maybe I can marry someone from the north but with the bombing everywhere you don't expect me to marry from a place where any man can turn out to b a potential bomber.

Gbenge 77:

My friend  just got involved with this chick.And of course,they are both from a particular Nigerian state.But this guy`s tribe in that particular state has an unsavoury reputation .so,when the girl demanded to know his tribe,he had to lie about it.

he later informed me that,had he told the truth about his tribe,the chick would have shown him a red card.And,to be honest,this guy qualifies as an absolute gentleman.so,how important is one`tribe in Nigerian relationships?is it appropriate for people to generalise that if one is from a particular tribe with a damaged reputation,he is bad?

what an absolute aSs! he lied about his tribe, he might as well lie that he is not nigerian, afterall nigerians have a bad reputation
Weird that the girl even asked in the first place, how does it matter

If a particular tribe from a state has the bad reputation then the people from that state should be tarnished by other states,
We are true weird people

If he is a gentleman he is a big lying insecure one

What next, he'll deny his religion, he's left handed and loves football?

I doubt the issue is tribe but the culture associated with a tribe
I know a tribe where if you marry and the hubby dies then you must be inherited by the bro in law. Plus other crazy rituals that follow the burial ceremony.
That is archaic and even though its rare now its still practiced in the remote regions. Not nigeria of course but Africa.
I wouldnt mind the tribe as long as you dont bring some weird archaic culture into the relationship.

freecocoa:

Come abeg talk your own,read well before you post I said I'm being choosy due to how things are in this country,if things were different maybe I can marry someone from the north but with the bombing everywhere you don't expect me to  marry from a place where any man can turn out to b a potential bomber.

As much as you have a right to an opinion dont be upset when they are challenged in public

Some people dont expect to marry from tribes that are well known for kidnapping or incestuous relationships as well,
You dont expect someone to marry from a place where the father in law could have been tossing the gal the night before
or from a place where the wives family are experts at killing their husband to inherit properties

freecocoa:

Come abeg talk your own,read well before you post I said I'm being choosy due to how things are in this country,if things were different maybe I can marry someone from the north but with the bombing everywhere you don't expect me to marry from a place where any man can turn out to b a potential bomber.

prior to the bombing you will happily marry from the north? or people from the MEND region


seasonal love

I'm not upset jare just wanted him to get the message and yes this country can make my love seasonal.

The guy is a liar, plain and simple.

^^^^enough said

@iice
No better put. I don’t know any more ethnic or tribe conscious community like Nigeria-years of post-research confirms this. Hardly any conversation goes without the whipping up of ethnic or religious differences. It may well be reflective of how this arrangement called Nigeria is routinely sustained-coercion, rather than from a sculptured and workable draft or consensus, by few political estates and their principals.

This national question springs up in all areas of engagement and interaction, and will continue so, not until Nigerians become lost on escape routes or are at dead-ends and, have only the resolution of these core issues to address.

Apparently it's not important because you have different tribes who are marrying or have married other tribes.

@op, the individuals involved in the relationship are the deciding factors on the issue. Tribe or colour means nothing to me. I can marry anybody from anywhere.

@claremont
The real test of associations or relationships is in moments of stress or storms and, on those occasions, bottled or deep-seated misgivings, mostly bordering on religious affiliations, economic flanges, ancestries or bloodlines and by extension ethnic foibles, etc., become sweltering concerns and interests. It mostly reveals deep seated escape rationalizations people have of the other and man’s intimate need to promote and guide his interest-self-preservation, if you say, with the anchor on his individualism.

Yes, at the surface and to the most exposed, those differences may be submerged or hushed, yet they don’t fail to inspire convenient justifications for acts or impositions on the other in moments of threats or insecurity-a disinterested investigation of most conflicts and disputes would reveal this central notice.

What makes the Nigerian situation worrying, is the heightened consciousness of these differences and, the ease of their employment, to propagate violence or hate, all, in the shield of particular interests.

Interesting replies.

Well, i suppose one of these days we'll look at the reasons why intertribal marriage is at an all time high and negative tribalism is also off the hook.

@tpia
I, sure, would love that interrogation, and a good launch pad would be to consider the rising tide of interracial and inter-ethnic unions, enabled by a shrinking world space-patently referred to as the global village, against growing concerns and agitations for privacy, individuality and associations that strengthen or conflate that desire.

The drift to a global culture seems unmistakably high; technologies, easy travels options, education, political systems and religions, etc., have assumed that universal color. It’s not out of place to view this in the light of a stealthy new order that invokes attractive and inalienable justifications for the propagation of these sweeping waves, which among others, border primarily on economic interests when viewed or observed closely. Blithering ignoring the still seared idiosyncrasies, people have of themselves and, in relation to each other, this wave has hit no harder than African states and its people. Still, unsure of their coordinates as states-with contesting ethnic and religious squabbles in ascendant mode, from a former imperialist era, they are thrust into the new structure that denies their individuality in one breath and in another stroke, fans the embers of diversity when convenient. A case in study is Nigeria, an arrangement still locked with the inner questions of nationhood, waking up lately to this tide by a generation, yet, unweaned of the burden of deep seated suspicions and unease, by political estates that enabled the structure in the first place. Elsewhere, regardless of what the media passionately bruits, as this writer’s first-hand experience has provided, the most puzzled are states with the “United”, forenames. Probably, strong legal and political structures may have tendered these questions; but, they still prop up in and around informal discourse, where street, mob opinion and prejudice are formed.

Could all of this be man’s oddly curious way of seeking affiliation and yet affirming his identity? It may well be that as cultural animals, our survival is dependent on a complex balance of community inspired associations and individuality; any mix more likely to endure, would be built on that consensus and well defined boundaries.

i can marry any1 frm anywher, Dat guy wx unmanly to have denied hs tribe, Love is a thn of d hrt d confligracies in relationshps notwithstandin,
We did not choose our races for ourselves, Jews, muslims, christians, yoruba, ibo, hausa, ijaw, All alike are men, Let me hope i av found in u a man & not a bigot of whteva notion, Why do we even fall in love?, Is it because of culture or religion or tribe or is it d affection u av for d fellow, his potentials, philosophy of lyf and yr compatibility wt eachother, Hw does tribe determine any of this in a civilised world wt exposure and advancemnt, Lets not look wt our eyelid down, else we wont see beyond our nose, Ther s more to lyf dan tribe affiliatns, We r a product of our tribes and our culture is our identity bt u can it shud nt determine who we marry, I love my soulmate no be for mouth, Many xtians and muslims intermarry, Yorubas marry hausa, Recently, boyloaf who s a militant (repentant or unrpentant) frm d ijaw tribe married an Igala lady frm KOGI state, A tribal militant marryin another tribe, Dats hw it shuld be to portray d unity in our diversity,

Well 2 me it doesnt mata
infact my present bf south-south

Well, I come a part of this country that really has not baize for the tribe you choose from but has a lot of examples of those that have chosen outside their tribe wrongly, it consists of those that have been forced into negative beliefs "Juju", to those you have to bury their dead partners in their states of origin, with specific ritual rites performed, as a result their traditional believes, to those that have to perform specific rites before a union can be consummate d . To those that still practice cannibalism (the eastern part)" due respect to my brothers/sisters from that part", well I also know that outside the fact that women are fun loving in general, their are also some that have started idolizing partying and socialising and mostly men that marry into these tribes normal die quite young out of hypotension cause by these women, for example, if you go to abeokuta you would understand what I am talking about landladies rather then landlords and everyday remembrance ceremonies and engagements/weddings etc all these are the things that cause the issues of wanting to restrict ones self to if possible selecting a wife from the same village if possible my brothers/sisters from that part", well I also know that outside the fact that women are fun loving in general, their are also some that have started idolizing partying and socialising and mostly men that marry into these tribes normal die quite young out of hypotension cause by these women, for example, if you go to abeokuta you would understand what I am talking about landladies rather then landlords and everyday remembrance ceremonies and engagements/weddings etc all these are the things that cause the issues of wanting to restrict ones self to if possible selecting a wife from the same village if possible

olajide_07:

Well, I come a part of this country that really has not baize for the tribe you choose from but has a lot of examples of those that have chosen outside their tribe wrongly, it consists of those that have been forced into negative beliefs "Juju", to those you have to bury their dead partners in their states of origin, with specific ritual rites performed, as a result their traditional believes, to those that have to perform specific rites before a union can be consummate d . To those that still practice cannibalism (the eastern part)" due respect to my brothers/sisters from that part", well I also know that outside the fact that women are fun loving in general, their are also some that have started idolizing partying and socialising and mostly men that marry into these tribes normal die quite young out of hypotension cause by these women, for example, if you go to abeokuta you would understand what I am talking about landladies rather then landlords and everyday remembrance ceremonies and engagements/weddings etc all these are the things that cause the issues of wanting to restrict ones self to if possible selecting a wife from the same village if possible my brothers/sisters from that part", well I also know that outside the fact that women are fun loving in general, their are also some that have started idolizing partying and socialising and mostly men that marry into these tribes normal die quite young out of hypotension cause by these women, for example, if you go to abeokuta you would understand what I am talking about landladies rather then landlords and everyday remembrance ceremonies and engagements/weddings etc all these are the things that cause the issues of wanting to restrict ones self to if possible selecting a wife from the same village if possible

^^^^^^^^ Here's one of the "tribalists" at it again.

Blame folks with these sort of racist attitudes as part of the problem .You simpletons "group think" yourselves into myths about other nigerians just because they don't speak your language or even come from the same town as you, very despicable.Ethnicity should be the last thing on your mind when choosing a partner.

Gbenge 77:

My friend  just got involved with this chick.And of course,they are both from a particular Nigerian state.But this guy`s tribe in that particular state has an unsavoury reputation .so,when the girl demanded to know his tribe,he had to lie about it.

he later informed me that,had he told the truth about his tribe,the chick would have shown him a red card.And,to be honest,this guy qualifies as an absolute gentleman.so,how important is one`tribe in Nigerian relationships?is it appropriate for people to generalise that if one is from a particular tribe with a damaged reputation,he is bad?

The both OP and the guy are tribalists.

Since their are Language and cultural barriers, their will be TRIBALISM.

I cannot see myself going true some [b]unknown cultural rituals and trying to understand their language [/b]because i want to marry their daughters.

op, tell us the state and their tribe

its nt that important if u lov the guy,i hav seen what lov can do.and besides to GOD we are all d same,

I'm an Igbo man and the truth is my children cannot and will not marry from the north. Neither will they marry from the west. Take it or leave it. Call me tribalist if you must.

Its not important, I have never belived in it, xcept you choose to make it so.

Nobody wants problem in a relationship, but there may be serious ancestral evil connections in some tribe especially in Nigeria, Wait! Would you like to marry from a tribe that all ladies have been dedicated to a particular family idol? Or have been spiritually married to a family idol? I may be speaking nonsense, but those who have married to such ladies know what i am talking about. Ladies,God forbid.There are some tribe that if your husband die,you are in trouble. They will torment your life so much you would wish you were never born. Some tribes in Nigeria are terrible,let us put sentiment aside, before we say i do. That is the more reason why you need to be sure and allow God to choose for you before you say i do. God bless you. God2man. me tribes in Nigeria are terrible,let us put sentiment aside, before we say i do. That is the more reason why you need to be sure and allow God to choose for you before you say i do. God bless you. God2man.