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Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? - Culture (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by saysoo: 10:02am On Aug 26, 2023
Daeth has taken care of that unless she wants to honour her husband by staying out of another man.
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by Aghans(m): 10:02am On Aug 26, 2023
fineboynl:
I’m in a serious situation. i have been dating this young widow for a while now without any issues.

But From the day I slept with her i have been noticing some things i don’t want to talk about.

Many things have been going through my mind concerning her.

From the igbo/Yoruba and all other cultures in Nigeria. What should a widow do before she start sleeping with another man? Should she returned the bride price?

Because I’m considering cutting ties with her and go for deliverance.

In Urhobo tradition, the husband people must give her the right to marry by setting her free from her former husband

1 Like

Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by Badgers14: 10:03am On Aug 26, 2023
Mindlog:


Name the communities in Imo and Anambra that do that, so I can enquire further.

Ihiala side .. I can't think of the community.


Anam


Ideato in Imo state.

Abia state.. the town that border Anambra state, I can't think of the name now
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by SoaringLife01: 10:04am On Aug 26, 2023
In Urhobo ethnic nation , a wife is not just married to her husband,she is also a wife in her husband family.
So after the demise of her husband, if she doesn't remarry, she is still consider part of her husband family.

4 Likes

Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by CloudResident(m): 10:06am On Aug 26, 2023
In Yoruba culture, you do not need returning the bride price.
In Islam, you do not need to.
In common law, you do not need to.

These are the ones l know.
Basically, marriages are contracts.. and death invalidate them all.

There's more than meet the eyes..

1 Like

Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by Sirchigo4: 10:07am On Aug 26, 2023
Berrityga:
For better for worst till death do us part. Simpl English but hard to understand. I don’t know why a widow who swore till death do us part wants to still chop gbola. It’s just insane.

Death has separated dem, so I believe the lady has every right to remarry if she sees someone interested in her
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by cococandy(f): 10:07am On Aug 26, 2023
stevups:
The period of mourning should elapse before you climb her, if not, gbadogbado ma gbowo lowoe
how long is the period of mourning

1 Like

Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by Sirchigo4: 10:16am On Aug 26, 2023
Nazgul:

Under which culture in Nigeria?

Thanks for that question.

1 Like

Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by dkidd: 10:18am On Aug 26, 2023
fineboynl:
I’m in a serious situation. i have been dating this young widow for a while now without any issues.

But From the day I slept with her i have been noticing some things i don’t want to talk about.

Many things have been going through my mind concerning her.

From the igbo/Yoruba and all other cultures in Nigeria. What should a widow do before she start sleeping with another man? Should she returned the bride price?

Because I’m considering cutting ties with her and go for deliverance.
She's still a Mrs someone. So ur fucking the late man's wife. I believe she needs to do something traditional or otherwise before getting back into the dating pool. She's still tied to her late husband and bonding with u at the same time.

2 Likes

Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by bestman09(m): 10:20am On Aug 26, 2023
Every tribe with their traditions. In Anambra state where I came from, at the death of a husband, the wife is still married to the family. If the woman wants to leave or remarry, the bride price must be returned. If the woman bears a child with another man without returning the bride price, the child legally belongs to the dead husband.
BTW, official bride price in my area, nnewi south is N5000, and the bride's family may take N200-N2000 and return the rest to the groom because we're not selling the woman.

2 Likes

Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by Foodqueen(f): 10:22am On Aug 26, 2023
In my place, they need to kill goat for her to free her.

1 Like

Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by udeh3(m): 10:22am On Aug 26, 2023
Well in the comments of others, I saw in Christianity or Islam... Marriage isn't religion. It's purely traditional.

In my tradition, when the husband dies, two things happens as listed below;

1. The widow has the option not to return the brideprice after the burial of the husband. In this case, she's sticking with the family and answering the families name still death.

If the family wants with her consent, she can be given another man in the family, if she agrees, she marries the family member

In another case, she can says, she's marrying her children. What that means is that, she's not marrying any man in the family, but, she's sticking with her kids. So, she's still part of the family and still bears the family's name till death.

In the aforementioned cases, the woman isn't allowed to have sex or sleep with another man

2. Case 2: The return of brideprice. After the final burial of the man, where properties are shared according to will if the husband has, or properties are shared accordingly, the wife would be asked if she wants to continue with the family since the husband is dead. Her family members will be present too, if she says she's going, especially, if she still has age in her side, in that case, her family present will return the brideprice. In my culture, brideprice are always small money but highly significant. The brideprice ranges from N5 to N2,000 as the case maybe. So, this is easily refunded and in some instances, perform some traditional rite. The woman is now free to go and from that instance, bears her own surname...

I am from the Isoko speaking part of Delta State, Nigeria.

1 Like

Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by XXMCIIV: 10:22am On Aug 26, 2023
Note: Be warned! The sound can make your landlord give you quit notice. Don't say I didn't warn you.

1 Share

Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by dkidd: 10:26am On Aug 26, 2023
centpado:
That’s not true, death has ended the marriage, you don’t return any bride place, you simply tell the deceased family of your intention to remarry
And when the family collects the new bride price what happens to the one paid by the late husband? U people will just be typing what u don't know with full confidence. So ontop her head them go take two bride price? In Africa when u marry she is automatically a part of the husbands family apart from just bearing the surname. Death doesn't end anything. It only separated them.
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by ehissi(m): 10:28am On Aug 26, 2023
fineboynl:
I’m in a serious situation. i have been dating this young widow for a while now without any issues.

But From the day I slept with her i have been noticing some things i don’t want to talk about.

Many things have been going through my mind concerning her.

From the igbo/Yoruba and all other cultures in Nigeria. What should a widow do before she start sleeping with another man? Should she returned the bride price?

Because I’m considering cutting ties with her and go for deliverance.

She doesn't have to return the bride price but..........their is a big but.....

Even on the death of her husband, she is still part of his family and traditionally remains under their care and that connection needs to be properly severed......

There is first of all, the traditional length of time that she is supposed to mourn her loss.....no freaky freaky during that period.

Also, she is supposed to take permission to date/remarry so that the husband's family can properly disengage from her gradually......

For example, if her husband owned a house she is living in or properties in her possession, her continued access to those things are her right as a member of her husband's family and constitutes family care.

So she needs to let them know so they can advise on whether she can hold on to them personally, especially in the absence of children/heirs.....

Because another marriage means the extended responsibility of care has shifted to her new husband's family, you cannot date/marry a widow and be doing freaky freaky with her in her late husband's house.

You will not need deliverance, its brain transplant you will need Because deliverance won't give sense......you don't know if the late husband was a kanayo O Kanayo and the Spiritual products of the man's sacrifice are after you (please this is a joke).....

The fact is, check your intentions towards her first, if they are for a serious relationship (and not smash and dash). If she has observed the period that she is expected to mourn her husband's loss and has kids that can inherit assets of her late husband then she should inform her husband's people (particularly the head of her husband's family) so they can give their blessings and permitt her to carry on seeing other men......to avoid unintended Consequences.....

But if you know that you are not ready for a serious relationship, biko leave her alone, whatever is disturbing you will leave after you have left her......

Let me say it again, do not freaky freaky in a dead man's house, with his wife!!


Also local traditions play a role too in these matters sometimes. In Edo culture, (though some villages/towns have reversed the negative consequences to the woman), if a married woman has an affair and continues to maintain normal relationship with her husband, it will cause the husband to be sick and if the matter isn't resolved, he can die in the process......


So if for instance Madam was doing freaky freaky with another man, while her husband was alive, wasn't caught and the man dies and she now still continues with that issue unresolved, the new man whey she dey climb will also be seeing things that don't make sense......

That one too dey, though like some villages like Uromi have reversed it, if a married woman has an affair now na she go kpehme!!

So before you tell her anything, think ooooh! No be say you get your own wife, you dey use another family wife dey do wrapper, if you know you wanna take her home to Mama, please tell her to go and see the family of the man and take their permission so that see can start seeing other men (and by other men I mean you).

Also Tunubu say I should tell you people, "no matter how you people protest oooh, he will not bring back subsidy".

Thank you

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by Whalis: 10:31am On Aug 26, 2023
Omoluabi16:
wait. For example, we know that Igbo bride price could be high running into millions. Are you saying if she is Igbo she should return every dime, when she is probably not in a good place financially?
@ badgers14
The bride price doesn't consist everything he spent during the marriage rites. It is just a tradition and may just be paltry of what was initially spent. If it is not a case of divorce it could just be as low as possible to fulfill the traditional requirements. Sometimes it could just be 5k or even lower.
Meanwhile I am Ikwerre.
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by Southwestidiot: 10:40am On Aug 26, 2023
fineboynl:
I’m in a serious situation. i have been dating this young widow for a while now without any issues.

But From the day I slept with her i have been noticing some things i don’t want to talk about.

Many things have been going through my mind concerning her.

From the igbo/Yoruba and all other cultures in Nigeria. What should a widow do before she start sleeping with another man? Should she returned the bride price?

Because I’m considering cutting ties with her and go for deliverance.
Both of you go for deliverance and stop your fornication.
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by deltateam: 10:42am On Aug 26, 2023
fineboynl:
I’m in a serious situation. i have been dating this young widow for a while now without any issues.

But From the day I slept with her i have been noticing some things i don’t want to talk about.

Many things have been going through my mind concerning her.

From the igbo/Yoruba and all other cultures in Nigeria. What should a widow do before she start sleeping with another man? Should she returned the bride price?

Because I’m considering cutting ties with her and go for deliverance.

You need serious deliverance o. Your life depends on it.

Widow of all women? You didn't ask the right questions before dating her.
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by ehissi(m): 10:42am On Aug 26, 2023
bestman09:
Every tribe with their traditions. In Anambra state where I came from, at the death of a husband, the wife is still married to the family. If the woman wants to leave or remarry, the bride price must be returned. If the woman bears a child with another man without returning the bride price, the child legally belongs to the dead husband.
BTW, official bride price in my area, nnewi south is N5000, and the bride's family may take N200-N2000 and return the rest to the groom because we're not selling the woman.

Taaaaaaa!!

Who dey collect official bride price for Nnewi.......nobody dey collect official bride price for Nnewi, all of them na padded budget them dey give man whey wan marry from their side
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by YelloweWest: 10:43am On Aug 26, 2023
fineboynl:
I’m in a serious situation. i have been dating this young widow for a while now without any issues.

But From the day I slept with her i have been noticing some things i don’t want to talk about.

Many things have been going through my mind concerning her.

From the igbo/Yoruba and all other cultures in Nigeria. What should a widow do before she start sleeping with another man? Should she returned the bride price?

Because I’m considering cutting ties with her and go for deliverance.
Pls cut ties with the woman. She has been through a lot, she is not responsible for your frustration. Leave her alone pls
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by IamAsiri: 10:43am On Aug 26, 2023
mmadu5:


Ikare Akoko to be precise

That's quite interesting! They don't expect the young widows to remarry?
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by deltateam: 10:43am On Aug 26, 2023
Mindlog:
In Igbo culture, the widow and her family do not return any bride price upon the death of the husband as the marriage ended with the death of the husband, not divorce.

Even so in Christianity. ... till death do us part.
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by deltateam: 10:45am On Aug 26, 2023
thorpido:
You don't seem to understand the English,'till death do us part'.smh

English na your mate?
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by Cocolatti(m): 10:54am On Aug 26, 2023
Berrityga:
For better for worst till death do us part. Simpl English but hard to understand. I don’t know why a widow who swore till death do us part wants to still chop gbola. It’s just insane.
It is you that is displaying your ignorance of the English language. "Till death do us part" means only death will separate them, and now the husband is death so she's free.
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by Rumundele(m): 10:57am On Aug 26, 2023
Culture na culture there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, there is a reason why some exist.
There is place in Nigeria where you don't make love to woman on the floor, simply means both leg must not touch ground, so there is a reason why.

In my place a widow return bride price, what that means is that, the bride price is still binding both of you together even in death. So a widow is not suppose to have an affair with another man until she return the bride price to her husband and family and that means she has officially divorced her late husband.
Failure to adhere to this rule incurred a grave consequences.

Better make enquiry before enter again oo, something that happen are not ordinary, i once believe there is nothing like witchcraft until i saw one.

Things dey happen o and is not to be taken for granted.

1 Like

Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by MySolace: 11:06am On Aug 26, 2023
Berrityga:
For better for worst till death do us part. Simpl English but hard to understand. I don’t know why a widow who swore till death do us part wants to still chop gbola. It’s just insane.
grin grin grin... Oga, see as u wash ur dirty linen for public. See how simple English messed u around grin grin grin.
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by mondob2k(m): 11:09am On Aug 26, 2023
Berrityga:
For better for worst till death do us part. Simpl English but hard to understand. I don’t know why a widow who swore till death do us part wants to still chop gbola. It’s just insane.

English hard.

'Death has done them part' Oga.

In Esan culture, the woman would need to present a goat to the husband's family and inform them of her decision to start dating or remarry
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by correctguy101(m): 11:16am On Aug 26, 2023
Mindlog:
In Igbo culture, the widow and her family do not return any bride price upon the death of the husband as the marriage ended with the death of the husband, not divorce.

As you said, in IgboLand...

In Delta State where I'm from, the woman would be expected to return whatever the mostly dubious elders demands before she'll be seen as free. Else, hahahaha, enforcers of tha culture will start pinching her in anyway they can, all in the name of their gods.... SMH
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by bercarray(m): 11:23am On Aug 26, 2023
Skyfornia:
Absolutely no idea what tradition demands, but morally, there is need to let your late husband family know about your decision to remarry, especially when there are children involved..
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by felixawe(m): 11:24am On Aug 26, 2023
Ask her what led to her husband death ?
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by Desusi: 11:24am On Aug 26, 2023
Berrityga:
For better for worst till death do us part. Simpl English but hard to understand. I don’t know why a widow who swore till death do us part wants to still chop gbola. It’s just insane.
Another angle. Even if she didn't bear a child. Her life should be truncated? She should remained permanent widow abi? Well-done sir.
Re: Does A Widow Need To Return Bride Price For Her To Date Another Man? by Desusi: 11:29am On Aug 26, 2023
madridguy:
Death ends every marital ties in ISLAM. Since you are a christian, and you found the young woman a ideal woman you would like to marry, take her to your church for deliverance.

In Christianity, so its.She didn't need any deliverance, until you prove she's possessed.People just use deliverance for every issue.

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