Jackie999:
Why is this useless and worthless? I'm just asking for comments. Please, it's a genuine post

MatrixReloaded:
Give ur life to Jesus christ. His is the auto and finisher of your faith. You won't divorce him if you marry Jesus.

DKM123:
First off, the story is fake and he/she is trying EXTRA HARD to be seen as miss-goody-two-shoes. Send this person a DM and be love-scammed. Yahoo get levels this days....

Anyway, that's not the issue..

Imagine it's a married woman with kids who has a side covk that she lied to that she was single.. Then the side covk comes on Nairaland saying he is in love despite being deceived. Despite the married woman saying she can't leave her husband because of JuJu. LMAO
The entire Nairaland would have shut down with rage and roar and insults upon insults on how the entire Nigerian women are this and that.

Infact if this supposed sidechic said she was a Nigerian lady, the screams of asheeeewooooo would have rented Nairaland air.


Bunch of hyp0crites!

StrongAlphMale:


Which country are you from?

Say your country with your full chest. No dey disguise again

tochez24:



If you have truly been with a Nigerian or Nigerians😁, you will know first hand that we don't like reading long stories or wasting our time on non relevant issues especially the ones without any money involved😊😊

I can guarantee you baby girl that 95% of Nigerians wouldn't even read all this you have just typed up there⚠️⚠️⚠️

So now clearly we have established that you know NOTHING about Nigerians and probably haven't been with one too♂️

Idaytesj29:
Jackie999

Igbo people have a very strong culture. They don't marry a second wife. And if he divorces that woman, I think the children becomes hers. I don't think he will divorce her. He will care for you, love you etc, all the general Nigerian men stuffs but you may not be able to get him to divorce that woman.

Other tribes may be able to marry a second but Igbos can't. It's good that you left. Move on. At least both of you still are friends. You can hold on to that.

Pls, you said your relationship progressed well towards sex. Hope he Bleep you well and cvm multiple times with leg wrenching orgasms? Hope he represented well? Cos I don't want to hear stories, this is very important like the colours on South African National Flag before I start cursing him for disgracing us.

Jackie999:
SOUTH AFRICA

Jackie999:
Hi all.

I want to start off with a few important pointers/ disclaimers.

1. I am NOT Nigerian and do not claim to know everything about Nigeria.
2. Please do not be xenophobic or rude to me. I'm not strong enough lol
3. I will be as respectful as possible💞
4. I'll call the man in the story "Sam"

Okay so I'm a lady from a Southern African country. I met a Nigerian man who came here for "japa"/ "looking for better opportunities". I met him after he had arrived within 2months. I was walking into the club with my friends and he was in a vehicle with his friends. The driver stopped me to greet and he said hello. Sam greeted me and the driver asked for my number on his behalf lol. It was cute.

First thoughts, he was handsome in the face but definitely not anyone I'd be interested in talking to. He was unkept and clearly struggling financially just from his appearance. Anyway, he called that night to see if I'd be willing to chill with him and his friends, and I agreed. They came back around. He came into my car but I was put off by him telling me I'm so beautiful, calling me babe and saying "I'd wish to kiss you". Omg I was sooooo freaked out. Anyway I told him to leave my car and never call me again. Within an hour, my car's tyre burst ON THE flipping HIGHWAY😲. I called my father but he was almost 2 hours away so I called him and he came within 20minutes. Him nd his brothers came and fixed it for me.

From that day, we spoke and discussed every single day. I had never been with a Nigerian man or any serious relationship before but I liked him. I supported him financially for the longest time because I saw potential in him. I bought him his firs new clothes here, took him to all the nice places, and helped him with personal hygiene etc. I saw him as a friend. He is genuinely a good good person and I fell for his soul. His just so normal and pure. I am considered pretty, intelligent and independent so I won't lie and say that I can't find anyone else but he has my heart tbh.

Everything was going good but after 3months of being together everyday, he obviously wanted the Bleep. It was such a huge deal for me because I take that seriously. But anyway our relationship progressed in that direction - positively.

He would share the little money he had with me and food with me etc if I had recklessly spent my money etc lol. I was giving him a salary to start a business. Mind you, I studied psychology and I'm smart enough to know when I'm being scammed just because I'm a paranoid/anxious detective type naturally 🙈 anyway, we had the most incredible times and I know without a Shadow of a doubt he loves me.

Fast forward 2 months then I find that he is married with 3 kids. I knew about the kids - after finding out. Buti understand why he'd be hesitant to share that. My father is from a polygamous home so I do have strong feelings about that arrangement and single probably thought it's a bad idea to tell me. Well I found out, I was upset af. But I got over it. He never forced me to or anything but I genuinely thought I'd figure it out.

Well it's been 3 years. We have NEVER argued once about anything. We have the most compatible personalities. His calm, sweet and soft spoken. Same with me. His business is doing good and he has put me on a salary as I resigned, and want to start a business.

Nigerian men are the hill I'm willing to die in lol. I had Nigerian friends in the past (Yoruba) but Igbo men are just built different. They're natural born providers. I have access to his phones and vice versa. He knows everything about me and so do I. Including his marital issues (which are unfortunately plenty).

I know my family would not accept me marrying him although my mom adores him. My father would probably have a heart attack. They worked hard for us to be very well balanced, mentally strong women so I'm so surprised that I landed up in this position. I have an incredible family and lack nothing. Financially, emotionally, mentally... Everythingally...my family is able to provide.

Maybe because his my first actual relationship, I am failing to see the big picture. Truth is... I know he'll forever care for me but I also know that his wife only loves him for money, and uses his children against him. She literally told him she'd use juju on him and deny him access to the children if he leaves her.

I thought it'd be easy. Divorce in my country is so accessible and in a situation where a husband has suffered immeasurable abuse from a woman, he definitely has grounds to divorce her. Mind you, I know this because I went through his old messages from 8+ years ago and she was always berating him, accusing him, being hot and cold etc. She's so ungrateful and her only obsession is money. She compared him to Obi Cubana😅 calling out his supposed incompetence. Well I don't know, men aren't just money. They're people with feelings and lives, they deserve love regardless.

For an example, we bought his dad motorcycle and she complained that her dad didn't get one 😩 him and I are now financially good and blessed but I know deep in my soul that I cannot be a second wife.

This post is because I broke up with him yesterday and I know for a fact his not allowed to divorce since this was a marriage introduced by his dad. She has a child from another relationship but nobody even knows. I mean she's a liar liar. He knows but his family don't. And the kids is like 15.

Anyway, I wasn't to know what you guys think of this situation. Just chat honestly. I know he won't divorce and she would kill him but I also don't know what it's like to be a second wife or partner to a Nigerian. It sounds like a really bad idea because I like being the only one for my baby.

tochez24:


Off course you finished it in 2 mins🙄
I mean what more could a jobless man do??

Please I'm talking about other 200+ million[b] Nigerians that are gainfully employeed [/b]and who know what to do with their time bro...

Not some jobless SIMPS like you hovering around Nairaland looking for relationship tales from women to cushion the effect of their failures in life 😆😆

ChybuzzDD:


If you think a med practitioner/surgeon practising abroad and doing, in a day, the amount of work lazy people like you do in a month is jobless or not gainfully employed, then you're the illiterate i previously described you as.

Just accept that reading is not in your nature, and don't make case for the rest of Nigerians.

I started reading voraciously as early as in SS1, finishing books as big as Modern Biology, PN Okeke's Physics, Ababio(chemistry), Nelson textbook of physics, etc, multiple times before my WAEC.

So, finishing that little write-up under 2mins, while still multitasking, is nothing to me.

SGANIVA:
Divorce in igbo culture is really difficult, unless the wife is cault cheating, just accept to be the second wife or move on with your life.

You can marry him and bring peace between the whole families if you can't get over it

StrongAlphMale:


As expected.

SA women loves Nigerian men alot. They're so obsess with Nigerian men.

You should count yourself Lucky to be dating a Nigerian man. We're extremely rare to find!

cutieme:

Love conquers okay?
If you truly love him as you said and he too does, please stick to him, it's clear that he's gonna leave his Nigerian wife someday so for now you're the real wife he has so please stick around.

Jackie999:
This is the best comment. I appreciate your input.

To answer your questions.
- I am not missing him physically but definitely thinking about him.
- I've always put myself first and thus built a good life for myself but this time I thought compromising would've served me well. Tbh, it's not with it.

He has 3 children. I cannot even imagine explaining that to my parents. I've been a perfect daughter and I guess this relationship is not worth tarnishing my reputation over. It's very shameful to me (privately) to love a man who I know I won't ever completely call my own. I love his kids, we support them etc but there's nothing I can do except leave and choose my future

Thanks

Trophy12:
Can I see your picture, I want to check something

Jackie999:
Hi all.

I want to start off with a few important pointers/ disclaimers.

1. I am NOT Nigerian and do not claim to know everything about Nigeria.
2. Please do not be xenophobic or rude to me. I'm not strong enough lol
3. I will be as respectful as possible💞
4. I'll call the man in the story "Sam"

Okay so I'm a lady from a Southern African country. I met a Nigerian man who came here for "japa"/ "looking for better opportunities". I met him after he had arrived within 2months. I was walking into the club with my friends and he was in a vehicle with his friends. The driver stopped me to greet and he said hello. Sam greeted me and the driver asked for my number on his behalf lol. It was cute.

First thoughts, he was handsome in the face but definitely not anyone I'd be interested in talking to. He was unkept and clearly struggling financially just from his appearance. Anyway, he called that night to see if I'd be willing to chill with him and his friends, and I agreed. They came back around. He came into my car but I was put off by him telling me I'm so beautiful, calling me babe and saying "I'd wish to kiss you". Omg I was sooooo freaked out. Anyway I told him to leave my car and never call me again. Within an hour, my car's tyre burst ON THE flipping HIGHWAY😲. I called my father but he was almost 2 hours away so I called him and he came within 20minutes. Him nd his brothers came and fixed it for me.

From that day, we spoke and discussed every single day. I had never been with a Nigerian man or any serious relationship before but I liked him. I supported him financially for the longest time because I saw potential in him. I bought him his firs new clothes here, took him to all the nice places, and helped him with personal hygiene etc. I saw him as a friend. He is genuinely a good good person and I fell for his soul. His just so normal and pure. I am considered pretty, intelligent and independent so I won't lie and say that I can't find anyone else but he has my heart tbh.

Everything was going good but after 3months of being together everyday, he obviously wanted the Bleep. It was such a huge deal for me because I take that seriously. But anyway our relationship progressed in that direction - positively.

He would share the little money he had with me and food with me etc if I had recklessly spent my money etc lol. I was giving him a salary to start a business. Mind you, I studied psychology and I'm smart enough to know when I'm being scammed just because I'm a paranoid/anxious detective type naturally 🙈 anyway, we had the most incredible times and I know without a Shadow of a doubt he loves me.

Fast forward 2 months then I find that he is married with 3 kids. I knew about the kids - after finding out. Buti understand why he'd be hesitant to share that. My father is from a polygamous home so I do have strong feelings about that arrangement and single probably thought it's a bad idea to tell me. Well I found out, I was upset af. But I got over it. He never forced me to or anything but I genuinely thought I'd figure it out.

Well it's been 3 years. We have NEVER argued once about anything. We have the most compatible personalities. His calm, sweet and soft spoken. Same with me. His business is doing good and he has put me on a salary as I resigned, and want to start a business.

Nigerian men are the hill I'm willing to die in lol. I had Nigerian friends in the past (Yoruba) but Igbo men are just built different. They're natural born providers. I have access to his phones and vice versa. He knows everything about me and so do I. Including his marital issues (which are unfortunately plenty).

I know my family would not accept me marrying him although my mom adores him. My father would probably have a heart attack. They worked hard for us to be very well balanced, mentally strong women so I'm so surprised that I landed up in this position. I have an incredible family and lack nothing. Financially, emotionally, mentally... Everythingally...my family is able to provide.

Maybe because his my first actual relationship, I am failing to see the big picture. Truth is... I know he'll forever care for me but I also know that his wife only loves him for money, and uses his children against him. She literally told him she'd use juju on him and deny him access to the children if he leaves her.

I thought it'd be easy. Divorce in my country is so accessible and in a situation where a husband has suffered immeasurable abuse from a woman, he definitely has grounds to divorce her. Mind you, I know this because I went through his old messages from 8+ years ago and she was always berating him, accusing him, being hot and cold etc. She's so ungrateful and her only obsession is money. She compared him to Obi Cubana😅 calling out his supposed incompetence. Well I don't know, men aren't just money. They're people with feelings and lives, they deserve love regardless.

For an example, we bought his dad motorcycle and she complained that her dad didn't get one 😩 him and I are now financially good and blessed but I know deep in my soul that I cannot be a second wife.

This post is because I broke up with him yesterday and I know for a fact his not allowed to divorce since this was a marriage introduced by his dad. She has a child from another relationship but nobody even knows. I mean she's a liar liar. He knows but his family don't. And the kids is like 15.

Anyway, I wasn't to know what you guys think of this situation. Just chat honestly. I know he won't divorce and she would kill him but I also don't know what it's like to be a second wife or partner to a Nigerian. It sounds like a really bad idea because I like being the only one for my baby.

Jackie999:
Oh I didn't know this because I'm a woman. Well even more reason to not bother
... because my 6months has lapsed. He probably has a new queen on his roster.

Kidding but it's ok. I know his best outcome is for us to be one happy family but I'd be sacrificing too much. I've never married, never been pregnant...and then I do it with a married dad of 3? (4 if you include the wife's 1st son). Sounds like a wack deal

Jackie999:
🎥

Jackie999:
Why is this useless and worthless? I'm just asking for comments. Please, it's a genuine post