Good evening people. Please be the judge and let me know if I'm being wicked

In the compound where I live in Ghana, there's this 19 old girl. Infact,I got to know her when she was 14,she was respectful so I kept her as my friend. When she turned 18,I had interest in her but I was afraid of her rejecting my proposal and I didn't want to lose the respect she has for me. Fast forward to January 2023,I bought a new car. And then she repeatedly begged that I start teaching her how to drive.

I was afraid of what the father would say if he finds out that I'm taking her out for driving lessons,but reluctantly I took her out for learning like twice. So around March she went to school in another region. They don't allow them to go to school with phones,so when in school she becomes unreachable, except she calls.

So one day,I was just somewhere when a call from from a number not on my contact came. The call went like this:

Me:Hello

Her: Good morning, it's me Amina

Me:oh Good morning,how are you?

Her: I'm fine,you?

Me: I'm fine too

Her: Thank God. Please I need some money,like 50cedis(5000naira)

Me: ok. Where should I send it to?

Her: this number. The name is ****


After the call I sent the money straight away. After that day,it became regular. She would call severally in a month to request for money,and I sent every time she requested.

Because of her frequent demand from me,I felt I should propose, Thursday she came back for Easter holiday.

Today I spoke with her about the possibility of dating her,and she rejected my proposal straight away. When I asked why she said I'm not a Muslim,that she needs a serious Muslim,not even a part time Muslim.

Then I asked if she will accept if I become a Muslim. She said no,she needs someone that will even teach her more about Islam.

I said ok, that's fine. I'll move on.

I wanted to tell her straight up to stop calling me when she get back to school,for some reasons I didn't,but within me I know I can never send her money.


PLEASE AM I BEING HARSH ON HER?

If you want to be generous and supportive, continue to send her money.

But if dating is the only condition for you to spend your money on girls, stop sending her money because she has told you her mind.

You never had good intentions for her else this isn't enough to stop sending money to her.

God will send her another helper.

Learn to help people without expecting anything in return.

EreluRoz:
You never had good intentions for her else this isn't enough to stop sending money to her.

God will send her another helper.

Learn to help people without expecting anything in return.

Haa. So,i should just keep sending 15k and above monthly to someone I have nothing with when I'm also having other responsibilities at home? What if she's sending my money to her boyfriend? I should keep sending? Nawa o

jasent:

Haa. So,i should just keep sending 15k and above monthly to someone I have nothing with when I'm also having other responsibilities at home? What if she's sending my money to her boyfriend? I should keep sending? Nawa o

Learn to give without expecting anything in return

you wrongly assumed that your money would buy her affection but sadly, this woman has NO CARE for you (apart from the money she can get from you). she has been playing you all along, because she knew you were lusting for her.
abeg free yourself from this babe.

BTW a man who wants to get down with a babe yet want that person to keep respecting him, is what is known as "wanting your cake and eat it too"

MrBrownJay1:


BTW a man who wants to get down with a babe yet want that person to keep respecting him, is what is known as "wanting your cake and eat it too"

Lol. Wives don't respect their husbands?

Please be man enough to speak your mind and that's by telling the 19years old werey to stop calling you when she gets to her school

WTF man!!! She can't date a non Muslim but can be collecting free money from the same non-muslim? Who does that?

Don't be surprised to later find out say na one alhaji wey dey only use small kettle of water dey wash him legs and hands dey settle down dey lash the mumu banny .

Las las,op,you suppose lash that banny self . Cuz na big loose guarding say after spending so much money,you no fit see common pant let alone shift am by the end of the day

MrBrownJay1:
you wrongly assumed that your money would buy her affection but sadly, this woman has NO CARE for you (apart from the money she can get from you). she has been playing you all along, because she knew you were lusting for her.
abeg free yourself from this babe.

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Thanks. But I was not looking at buying her affection though.

EreluRoz:
You never had good intentions for her else this isn't enough to stop sending money to her.

God will send her another helper.

Learn to help people without expecting anything in return.

As father Christmas wey he be

Op, stop sending her money. Since she didn't consider you good enough for marriage, it means she won't consider you good enough for any other thing. She sees you as a cashcow, a mugu. So, move on and stop sending her money. Delete her number and tell her not to call you again.

EreluRoz:
Learn to give without expecting anything in return

You clearly don't know me bro. I give a lot. But I don't have the financial muscle to add her to my responsibilities at the moment.

jasent:
Thanks. But I was not looking at buying her affection though.

- then why were you sending her all this money for (if not to buy her affection)?
- then why did you automatically expect her to say yes to your proposal (if your money had nothing to do with it)?
- if the money had nothing to do with your proposal then why dont you continue sending her money?

jasent:
Lol. Wives don't respect their husbands?

women that respected you in the past, would lose respect for you if you try to get between their legs (and they rejected you)....YES!

jasent:

You clearly don't know me bro. I give a lot. But I don't have the financial muscle to add her to my responsibilities at the moment.

. . But if she had agreed to your terms, you'd have willingly added her to your budget abi? . Senator wey dey pad budget indeed

You are a big foooool.

Sonnobax15:
. . But if she had agreed to your terms, you'd have willingly added her to your budget abi? . Senator wey dey pad budget indeed

Yes. But now that she has rejected me,I need to replace her with someone else. Don't you have a girlfriend? I don't have, and I want one. So I can't add her and my new girlfriend to my responsibilities

Jman06:
As father Christmas wey he be

Op, stop sending her money. Since she didn't consider you good enough for marriage, it means she won't consider you good enough for any other thing. She sees you as a cashcow, a mugu. So, move on and stop sending her money. Delete her number and tell her not to call you again.

We all have that person that gives us money without demanding anything in return

jasent:
Yes. But now that she has rejected me,I need to replace her with someone else. Don't you have a girlfriend? I don't have, and I want one. So I can't add her and my new girlfriend to my responsibilities

. Seconded bruh . No time to waste time!!!

F22RAPTOR:
You are a big foooool.

lol. Why you vex like this? What makes me a fool? That I want to stop supporting her or for supporting her in the first place?

EreluRoz:
We all have that person that gives us money without demanding anything in return

I don't have the one person o. Maybe you need to hear my story

EreluRoz:
We all have that person that gives us money without demanding anything in return

. Fortunately,that only work easily when you're a female......But when you're a guy,the probability that no one is gonna come to your rescue when you're down is very high

MrBrownJay1:


- then why were you sending her all this money for (if not to buy her affection)? Ow
- then why did you automatically expect her to say yes to your proposal (if your money had nothing to do with it)?
- if the money had nothing to do with your proposal then why dont you continue sending her money?



women that respected you in the past, would lose respect for you if you try to get between their legs (and they rejected you)....YES!

Yes I was sending the money because she asked. Yes I expected a positive response from her because I wrongly assumed that her request from me was her way of giving me greenlight. I know better now

…so is he supposed to be the one training another person’s future wife with urgent 5k? Atleast if they were dating, he might incidentally forge ahead with marriage plans since he had known her for a while. With that, spending anything on her is justified because he knows its a wise investment. No be to dey throway money for something that has gone south already.

jasent:
lol. Why you vex like this? What makes me a fool? That I want to stop supporting her or for supporting her in the first place?

For being a father Christmas to a small girl who is using your head, does she not have a father?
She knows you want her, but she won't give in to you. She will continue to milk you as long as she can. Forget about the Muslim BS she is telling you, it's a lost cause. You should have locked up on her long ago.

crisubanijunior:
…so is he supposed to be the one training another person’s future wife with urgent 5k? Atleast if they were dating, he might incidentally forge ahead with marriage plans since he had known her for a while. With that, spending anything on her is justified because he knows its a wise investment. No be to dey throway money for something that has gone south already.

Thank you

F22RAPTOR:


For being a father Christmas to a small girl who is using your head, does she not have a father?
She knows you want her, but she won't give in to you. She will continue to milk you as long as she can. Forget about the Muslim BS she is telling you, it's a lost cause. You should have locked up on her long ago.

lesson learnt

Jman06:
As father Christmas wey he be

Op, stop sending her money. Since she didn't consider you good enough for marriage, it means she won't consider you good enough for any other thing. She sees you as a cashcow, a mugu. So, move on and stop sending her money. Delete her number and tell her not to call you again.

Thanks

jasent:
Yes I was sending the money because she asked. Yes I expected a positive response from her because I wrongly assumed that her request from me was her way of giving me greenlight. I know better now

thus why i stated that:" you thought you were buying her affection"

crisubanijunior:
…so is he supposed to be the one training another person’s future wife with urgent 5k? Atleast if they were dating, he might incidentally forge ahead with marriage plans since he had known her for a while. With that, spending anything on her is justified because he knows its a wise investment. No be to dey throway money for something that has gone south already.

he shouldnt have given her shi shi nor train her unless she is his wife... until then, any money/gifts offered to a woman, is a donation with no strings attached (unless the pay-as-you-go undercover olosho woman specifically tells you that she will only date you if you take care of her needs).

Sonnobax15:

Please be man enough to speak your mind and that's by telling the 19years old werey to stop calling you when she gets to her school

WTF man!!! She can't date a non Christian but can be collecting free money from the same non-christain? Who does that?

Don't be surprised to later find out say na one alhaji wey dey only use small kettle of water dey wash him legs and hands dey settle down dey lash the mumu banny .

Las las,op,you suppose lash that banny self . Cuz na big loose guarding say after spending so much money,you no fit see common pant let alone shift am by the end of the day

Thanks

Next time don't ask out... Just play your game romantically to get her consent.. proposing is a romance killer, only propose when the romance signals are clear..

immortalcrown:
If you want to be generous and supportive, continue to send her money.

But if dating is the only condition for you to spend your money on girls, stop sending her money because she has told you her mind.

It's only dating that made him to send those money and the girl has exploited his interest in her to milk him. She has guardians and she will never call her guardian several times a month for financial help.

OP jettison that girl, she is of no good to him apart from fantasizing about the girl

idahme:



It's only dating that made him to send those money and the girl has exploited his interest in her to milk him. She has guardians and she will never call her guardian several times a month for financial help.

OP jettison that girl, she is of no good to him apart from fantasizing about the girl

Thanks. I'm done with her. No more sending money

EreluRoz:
You never had good intentions for her else this isn't enough to stop sending money to her.

God will send her another helper.

Learn to help people without expecting anything in return.

Use your frontal lobe properly it's not for fancy.

As a man when it comes to relationships never take the advice of a woman because women will always give you advice putting themselves in the scenario instead of putting the person (man) who sought after the help.

Imagine this one saying a man should continue to pay a lady who rejected his dating proposal until she changes her mind for him in the future.

When you begat your son's advice them to be paying women who rejected their dating proposals. Comprehension isn't an age thing, you lack comprehension skills.