Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . - Romance - Nairaland
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| Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Nobody: 9:48am On Nov 18, 2011 |
[size=14pt]Do you give? How often do you give? What is your aim of giving or motive behind giving? Do you expect any form of payment for giving? Should you? Giving doesn’t make you a discombobulated fool, or an obfuscated mugu or a maga. Anyone that thinks that giving is negative, is actually expecting a repayment for giving. And it’s usually in form of intimate incentives. That mentality is so wrong. If you give, either money, cards, gifts to someone, and you are expecting them to kiss you or drop their pants for you, what do you think would happen when none of these actions take place? There you go! You start hearing unfounded statements like, “she ate my money” “I was a mugu”. . . blah blah Rubbish! That’s because you gave out of a dirty heart, with selfish motives behind it. That’s not what giving is all about. No one forces any one to give, but if you want to give, do so out of a clean heart! If you wanna give and have an instant reward, the brothels are still there! Giving, with no strings attached, to a person you are in a relationship with, makes your sense of well being soar. Giving love and affection should make you feel better, and not the other way round. When the two individuals in a relationship realizes that “There is more happiness in giving, than there is in receiving”, they’ll work towards giving more of their time, affection and gifts, to the significant other and simultaneously, they are both receiving. Just how happy do you think those two would be? A happy relationship is possible. But first, we have to rid ourselves of sentiments, and our thoughts should be devoid of negative thoughts. Trust is essential in this area too, because when you trust him/her, you tend to give them your all, and your best. A relationship is a two way street. Even when you are dating someone who is not naturally inclined to give, your demeanor when giving should show that you are happy giving to them, without strings attached, and before long, they’ll respond positively, for the sake of the well being of the relationship. . . Being in love aint as hard as it seems, don’t let misogynists and people who are sad in their relationships spoil your happiness, don’t confuse being in a relationship with serial dating! Do what you know is right, and leave the rest. . . Brb. [/size] 1 Like |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Dyt(f): 9:50am On Nov 18, 2011 |
Chai Skillz ooooo *in enugu accent* |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Flashaldrin(m): 10:05am On Nov 18, 2011 |
Nice topic, nice write up, true talk. But i swear i must derail this thread  |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by freecocoa(f): 11:25am On Nov 18, 2011 |
Yeah brother,you are so on point,I wonder why most guys think that cos they bought you a gift or spent a little on you,means you owe them something. imagine a guy saying"let's go to my house"just cos he bought you lunch,which he offered to o,you didn't ask him for it o,even if she asked and you can't give without wanting something in return,why not just say no,its not after buying and she refuses to visit you at home,it becomes"she don chop my money run"seriously its annoying especially cos the guys who do this are not even in a relationship with the lady,its just usually that they may have interest in her. The ones in a relationship yet still feel this way, are the ones who just want to be sleeping with their supposed girlfriend without actually loving her,so whenever she asks or they give her a gift or money,they expect something in return. I guess its the real men who understand what a relationship is all about,that really see the importance of giving. I give anytime I feel like or just want to do something nice for him. 1 Like |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Nobody: 11:57am On Nov 18, 2011 |
@poster my point on the issue is VERY SIMPLE: - people should ONLY give because they decide they want to AND evaluated that the "receiver" deserves that gift. - any requirements of gifts in order to be in a r/ship is WRONG and a scam by goldiggers out there. - anyone who believes they should be rewarded for being in a r/ship with another is a (male) LovePeddler. - anyone who thinks that giving gifts makes r/ships better (regardless of the gift or the intention) is a fool. - anyone who says people are stingy when they don't give are begging fools. let everyone decide if they should hand over gifts or not, if it is blackmailed or by force then that person is clearly in the wrong r/ship. |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Nobody: 12:22pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
MRbrownJAY:[size=14pt]+100[/size] |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by tutuwater(m): 12:36pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
@ op it is not giving when she asks for it first. and although am not against giving. giving in order to buy someones love or remorse is wrong as well. That u constantly give him/her does not mean she will equally love you back. so guys and girls give out of love and do not condone girls that keep requesting for material things like it is rite to show love |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by freecocoa(f): 12:46pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
tutuwater:Please I'd like you to throw more light on that. When someone asks you for something,what do you call yielding to the request? |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Nobody: 12:52pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
[size=14pt]tutuwater She shouldn't ask before you give! I'm talking of giving that comes from the heart, devoid of any emotional attachments. And No, giving is not a determinant for love, but when someone gives without asking for anything in return, it says a lot about the mental make up of that person as regards gifts, and says a lot about the value he/she places on you. And NO! You are not compelled to give in return. . . the essence of giving is not to give in return. Just put a smile on the face of someone you love! It's a different ball game when you give out of compulsion, or under duress. Like MBJ said, "if giving is blackmailed or by force, then you are obviously in the wrong relationship"!. . .[/size] 1 Like |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by tutuwater(m): 12:53pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
in the literal sense it is giving but in a relationship with effective communication i doubt that making a verbal request is necessary although talking{communicating} about ones needs is. |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by freecocoa(f): 12:55pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
^ Alright,I see where you are coming from,thank you. |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by tellwisdom: 2:19pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
Send me card, take me out, my cream has finished, cant you see how rough my hair is  , I need money. Sotey the guy will unknowingly forgets his siblings and family, taking care of hoes . # Bitter rubbish  Women, if you work and are contented with what you have, you wld never generate any heat to the guy.#roger dat |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Nobody: 3:02pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
Sexkillz. nice write up. Tell them. |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by MrCork17: 3:46pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
sexkillz: Well done my Albino friend. You desrve a french kiss from LEFUFU  |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Nobody: 4:37pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
Op i agree with everything u just said about guys having a clean mind when they give out but then based on the relationships in nigeria is it a sin if the woman also gives out.It seems that in nigeria its only the men who spend on their girlfriends with the girl not even lifting a finger.Same is it with most nigerian marriages as well.So why is it that some girls in nigeria are so stingy in giving out. 1 Like |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Nobody: 4:45pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
Mr, Cork:[size=14pt]^^^ But you two are married! Hate to break up a happy home!  [/size]tom28:[size=14pt]Bro! Answering that question is what you and i cant do, cos we dont know! All i know is that, Giving is a personal decision. It should not be based on what you want in return or that the lady must give you in return. That's the thing. Give her because you want to! When you start reading sentiments into every action a lady takes, the relationship could nose dive. And worse case scenario is when you make friends with people that have the same sentiments! There's no one to correct a wrong motive, when it crops up. . .[/size] |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Cuddlemii: 9:24pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
Love is sharing and caring. So there is nothing wrong in giving or receiving in a relationship. Just make sure you are not compelled to and you don't do it for the wrong reasons. Once your reasons are noble, you are buoyant enough to give or share and your partner has earned it or deserves it then no big deal |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Nobody: 10:46pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
sexkillz:I agree on that |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Nobody: 10:48pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
tom28: sexkillz: the answer to that question IS very simple and closer to home: A) look how men in 9ja are quick to say that:"all they have to do in life is MAKE MONEY and all their problem of finding a mate will be solved" so i am safe to say that, it teaches women that men will splash their cash to get them as soon as they "make it big". thus sadly, teaching them to expect that from men. B) also many guys out there aint got nothing to offer women than gifts and outings where they pay for food etc. they have no communication skills, no "game", no qualities. they simply portray some false security (with their money), the same security that any women searches for. so in fact, they are just teaching women to be stingy and look for these "made men". C) what is the first thing a 9ja guy does when he wants to impress a girl?! yep, he flashes his cash/status. so from this three first points, we can clearly see that WE men are partly to blame for the action of these stingy women. but also: D) it's in our culture!! look at how a man must pay "bride price" before he can remotely think of marrying someone. it teaches women (from a very young age) that they have a PRICE on their head, and therefore men should reward them to have the privilege of being in their presence, let alone marrying them. E) some 9ja women SINCERELY believe that dating or making love to us is a favor that they give US and therefore , we (men) must be generous and show our gratitude for that privilege. F) some even believe that men should contribute to their upkeep because we dont want her to look raggedy, as if SHE only started to think of her looks the minute you started dating her, lol! G) some 9ja women have double standards, they are quick to quote the bible verses where it says that men are considered the head of the household therefore we should be providing for their needs aka prove that we got what it takes to be with them. . . . . . . . . .but then are quick to want to be equal when you signed on the dotted line. H) lastly, ask any 9ja woman (or her mother) what she believes is a perfect candidate for marriage and you are sure that his financial status will be close to the top reason (for the majority). in 9ja, most people dont value people or character, they value SECURITY OF LIFE. so money is like the password that you must show before you can be viewed as a potential mate. so if THEY (women) were generous, then they wouldnt be able to figure out if we were, or not, potential mates. you still following me guys? lol! so in fact, most are clueless and the only way they can evaluate us is with gifts and "donations". you can be the best guy out there but if you have NO MONEY/STATUS, all your qualities will be invisible. . . . . . . . . . because, as many like to point out, qualities aint going to help them pay their tuition fees or BB subscription. to many, dating is just synonymous with having an extra income. 2 Likes |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Nobody: 10:53pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
[size=14pt]MBJ Chill out!  What i meant by that reply was that we are diferent individuals. What one person thinks is quite different from another. For example now, your analysis up there, can you say it is exactly applicable to everyone, stereotypically as you stated?. . . There you go!. . .  [/size] |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Nobody: 10:56pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
that's why i wrote "some", "the majority" etc, but the message is very clear: in 9ja, as a man, if you aint got money, you are not believed to be "worthy". . . . . . . . . and sadly most men believe it so thats why their main focus in life is to MAKE MONEY, MAKE MONEY, MAKE MONEY. |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Nobody: 11:12pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
[size=14pt]True![/size] |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by SAFO(m): 11:22pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
sexkillz: Wow. With 5,691 practice runs, you got post #5,692 right. I got chills. This must have been what Al Gore envisioned when he invented the internet!  |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Nobody: 11:30pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
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| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Nobody: 11:47pm On Nov 18, 2011 |
MBJ u so right on point.I think in africa why women dont contribute anything in a relationship is because we give them the impression that they are nothing more than purchased commodities and in essence they act like such.I mean its very common hearing a nigerian woman who is married saying she only has sex with her husband because she feels its a duty and not because she loves having just like the husband.Anyway the relationships in nigeria is all based on materialism and not true love. |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by MrsChima1(f): 10:15am On Nov 19, 2011 |
(rolling eyes) |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Idowuogbo(f): 10:32am On Nov 19, 2011 |
My son is doing it again , I say no more one point killz show dem my money didn't waste but don't fight here o.This thread is a beauty but I neva forget d brazilian hair u promise to give me o |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by ayex0001: 10:37am On Nov 19, 2011 |
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| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Mynd44: 10:52am On Nov 19, 2011 |
Giving is a two way thing punny for cash |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Natasha2(f): 11:03am On Nov 19, 2011 |
tutuwater:So in others words I can't ask my bf for something if I'm in need of it and he shouldn't help me because I asked? |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Natasha2(f): 11:04am On Nov 19, 2011 |
Nice write up killz |
| Re: Role Of Giving In Relationships. . . by Sijo01(f): 11:07am On Nov 19, 2011 |
Nice write up. Nice comment (some) Plz guys get it right, all girls ar nt a liability. some 'dat include me' kno's hw to give 'materially' wen it comes to a relationship or jst friendship. personally, i dnt feel comfortable wen am always on d receiving end & i try my best to always reciprocate. I so much believe dat wen u like, love or evn appreciate sombdy, no matter hw poor or broke u ar, u must be push to giv jst 2show d person dt he or she is appreciated. 1 Like |
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