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You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... - TV/Movies - Nairaland

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You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by shadrach77: 2:41pm On Apr 23, 2012
(a)someone is shot but there is no blood
(b)someone starts coughing to indicate he/she's about to die
(c)a lady is about to go to bed at night and yet her face is fully made up
(d)a robber is operating with a toy gun

let's do this peeps - come up with other ideas grin cheesy wink smiley

4 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by BABE3: 2:48pm On Apr 23, 2012
...the lyrics of the soundtrack is literally the plot.

...the only indication of pregnancy is throwing up.

...Hanks Anuku comes back from America after 25 years, and he has a thick British accent with a hint of igbo accent.

8 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by Ruqaya(f): 4:21pm On Apr 23, 2012
U already knows what'll end at d beginning.

2 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by afrobaby(f): 4:58pm On Apr 23, 2012
The title of the movie tells u the whole story line.
A ghost will be looking on both sides of the road before crossing

29 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by blossom28(f): 6:32pm On Apr 23, 2012
d ghost has a shadow... it has 1 to 4

3 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by damilola15: 7:18pm On Apr 23, 2012
It has part 1 to 4, yet a part is not more than 1hr 1min and 1sec.

3 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by users1: 8:43pm On Apr 23, 2012
afrobaby: The title of the movie tells u the whole story line.
A ghost will be looking on both sides of the road before crossing
A ghost would come
Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by AmakaG29(f): 8:46pm On Apr 23, 2012
Someone is cheating on a spouse

Someone will be violently slapped

Magic will either be the cause of the problem or the solution or BOTH

The actress changes between part 1 and part 3 with no explanation

The bad characters are completely evil and the good characters are completely good, one track personalities

Inexplicably the Nigeria in the movies is one where everyone is upper middle class and drives nice cars

Poverty is only in villages and it will be overcome by moving to the city or marrying a wealthy stranger

7 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by Nobody: 9:19pm On Apr 23, 2012
- the same song is played ON and ON and ON throughout the movie (whether it is an action/love/drama scene)
- the mic from the audio guy is either visible or the shadow of that said mic is visible.
- scenes where someone is driving out and about that lasts for 3mins or more, with NO DIALOGUE whatsoever.
- people shouting so loud that the audio is cracking.
- 3-4hrs movies that could have been shot in 1hr or less, and make as much sense.
- nightclubs where there are only about 10-20 people (is it that difficult to get extras in Nigeria?)
- plenty of swimming pools around but never seen any women swimming. its either A) they all cant swim, or B) the look of that actress after being under the water would be lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
- every scene inside homes are with curtain closed.
- mercy Johnson crying........has anyone seen a movie where she DIDNT cry? you would think, crying is the only thing she can do.

5 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by Exponental(m): 4:58am On Apr 24, 2012
-Written, directed and produced by d same person.
-Advert floods d first half hr (tank God 4 ff).
-Affluent Actors change cars n d cars are not seen @ d residence.

5 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by hakunajay(m): 7:56am On Apr 24, 2012
Exponental: -Written, directed and produced by d same person.
-Advert floods d first half hr (tank God 4 ff).
-Affluent Actors change cars n d cars are not seen @ d residence.

Thank God really for fast forward!

1 Like

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by Nobody: 2:42pm On Apr 24, 2012
When you hear a lot of Gbagaun from top actors!

1 Like

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by ifihearam: 2:45pm On Apr 24, 2012
Whenever someone is worried its only known by using the sppon or fork to play with the rice without eating.

6 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by Andrew3(m): 2:47pm On Apr 24, 2012
when it is marketed by

amaco investment limited
121 nnamdi azikiwe street idumota lagos
11 pound road aba
22 ndideng usang iso road calabar

12 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by outline: 2:47pm On Apr 24, 2012
when you see d herbalist wearing lacewig/brazillian hair

3 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by dabrake(m): 2:48pm On Apr 24, 2012
the king, queen, prince and princess will be dining . . . they will be wearing their crows, beads, . . . all dressed with jam-packed royalty nonsense in their dining table

3 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by outline: 2:48pm On Apr 24, 2012
when you see a village girl speaking phonetics

1 Like

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by koolJ1(f): 2:48pm On Apr 24, 2012
...When the advert tells the story...

1 Like

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by Nobody: 2:48pm On Apr 24, 2012
A scene is being shot in the rest room... The actress is facing the wall mirror & only for u to see the camera crew & director through the mirror

3 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by Nobody: 2:51pm On Apr 24, 2012
- When married women wear club-appropriate outfits all day, everyday- even when cooking in the kitchen or attending to someone at the store.

- When being able to afford gym membership is a strong indication of affluence.

- When grammatical errors in a movie are considered "d[i]o[/i]pe" and inconsequential.

- When actors who have lived in Nigeria all their lives speak in bizarre accents.

- When (most) fresh university graduates are able to afford flashy car(s) and build house(s) within 2 years of graduating.

6 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by MmuoOkija: 2:52pm On Apr 24, 2012
- When it is marketed and distributed at 51/52 Iweka road Onitsha, 12 Idumota lane or Pound road Aba.
- An actor leaves his house in a red shirt and is seen in the car with a blue shirt and arrives his destination in a red shirt. . (I swear I have seen this in over 3 movies)
- When a hospitalized patient dies by shaking violently on the hospital bed.
- When a man suffers a gun shot injury to the tummy and is shown in the hospital with bandages on thier head and a cast on their arms and legs. .
- When you can tell the entire movie plot from the Poster.
- When Pete Edochie dies and someone says "The great Iroko has fallen".
- When Chiwetalu Agu says the same "Igbo phrase" through out the entire movie.
- When a club scene with people dancing lasts for over 15 minutes with no dialogue or incident.
- When the actors drop word bombs at every turn.
- When Jim Iyke is a wannabe american ganster of some sort.
- When armed robbers leave the scene of a crime with tyres screeching despite nobody being in pursuit.

11 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by outline: 2:52pm On Apr 24, 2012
when an actor/actress dies in part 1 but reappears in part 2 grin

2 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by harakiri(m): 2:56pm On Apr 24, 2012
(1)You can predict the movie by mere looking at the DVD casing.

(2)You already know where the movie is headed in the first 60 secs of viewing.

(3)The movie ALWAYS ends with "To God be the glory"

(4)The actors waste unnecessary time to perform an act that shouldn't take more than a fraction of a second e.g An actor will spend fifteen good minutes of his time threatening to kill someone, spend another five minutes looking for his gun (while the mumu victim will stand there watching) and then spend another ten minutes shouting "I WILL KILL YOU TODAY" after which he tots his gun (the sound is often times not in sequence with the trigger pull) and then the victim screams " I AM DEAD, YOU HAVE KILLED ME, I AM DYING" and then he dies.

(4)It's always about an evil mother-in-law,an ungrateful son (usually acted by Jim Iyke) or a occultic/ritual societies who miraculously mint money from human blood grin grin cheesy

(5)The typical Nigerian home video is extremely boring and the producers don't help matters by extending it to PART TWO,PART THREE,PART FOUR,PART FIVE AND PART SIX (to be contd). Funny thing is everything in that movie can be acted in 20mins if it was directed on American soil.

(6)Most women just lovvvveeeee Nigerian home videos and i wonder why. Perhaps its because it feeds their emotions e.g The "wicked" husband of that "innocent" woman finally got what he "deserved" in the end OR the mother in law mistakenly ate the poison she prepared for the wife (Women just love these movies...especially the married ones and their reasons aren't far fetched).

(7)Etc

12 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by koolJ1(f): 2:57pm On Apr 24, 2012
When the only thing yu see on the actresses' face is the blaring eyeshadow and ill-suited blush grin grin
Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by Nobody: 2:59pm On Apr 24, 2012
When you see: 51 Iweka road, Onitsha and 199 good is able road, Aba.

When you see titles like: I love you, love is mine, what's love got to do, love is heaven, heavenly love, love in the sky, skyline love, love from above, above love, where's the love, love falls down etc..

Iweka road, Onitsha has to be the most street in Nigeria grin... I need to visit that road, when next I hit Naija.

Advert: "Gbam!! Nneka Nneka Nneka, I luff you ohhh... my life ohhhhh, mama Emeka don kill me ohhhh... mama chuma, I beg ohhh... Chai, Igweeee, tufiakwa......"

5 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by Coefficient(m): 3:00pm On Apr 24, 2012
When an actress wears a particular type of hairdo throughout the movie

When an actor/actress is growing up, he enters an uncompleted building and comes out an adult

When the English subtitle doesn't interpret what is being said and is fraught with typo errors

8 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by MmuoOkija: 3:02pm On Apr 24, 2012
When at the end of the movie, a pastor and his team prays and the wiked/evil person manifests, confesses and then drops dead. . . To god be the glory.

This always happens when the director/producers have run out of ways to end the movie.
Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by gulfer: 3:02pm On Apr 24, 2012
When the domestic staff (servants) including the security man jesters (and moronic).
Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by gulfer: 3:03pm On Apr 24, 2012
When the domestic staff (servants) including the security man are jesters/jokers (and moronic).

1 Like

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by Cuteobi(f): 3:03pm On Apr 24, 2012
grin A dark and ugly baby grows up to be Van viker or Ramsey Noah

5 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by shadrach77: 3:04pm On Apr 24, 2012
1. an assasin would spend several minutes explaining the reasons behind his motives before shooting his victim
2. a couple are lying on the bed, the man is unclothed ready for action, while the woman (also ready for action) is fully clothed
3. a man toasts a lady and within five minutes, they are already kissing passionately shocked shocked shocked
4. a gateman always has to be a funny character

2 Likes

Re: You Know It's A Nigerian Movie When... by dabrake(m): 3:04pm On Apr 24, 2012
ogbeche77: A scene is being shot in the rest room... The actress is facing the wall mirror & only for u to see the camera crew & director through the mirror
DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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