@ OP choose the Job, you have documented your feelings well in your original post. I can see the resentment already their if you quit and relocates you gonna resent hubby even more. If you insist on teh wedding look for a comprimise but dont give up everything for the sake of marriage my dear you gonna blame this man for your life misery in the near future and you certainly dont want that type of marriage.

bukatyne: so d man can't sacrifice too? u don't believe a woman should have a career b'cos of insults? can't she be insulted in her own biz or wateva? wat if her neighbor insults her? so a hussy has d 'unreserved right' to insult his wife? it is well!

my dear we av diffrent pespectives and mentality to how we wana leave our lives, u av urs and i av mine. Am living mine as it siuts me and i av never ad a reason to regret it,so if u dont like my way dosnt change anything about me or u so leave it at that....

onyefin:

You are the kind woman that make man hate marriage
Sugar mummy like you

And you are the kind of man that ends up hating your wife or even being irritated with her for not supporting you financially because she is not bringing home any income. Gone are the days when men bear all d financial burdens alone. Providing financially should be a two way thing ok? I wouldn't want to end up being at the receiving end in my marriage.So instead of heaping insults on me,why not advice the OP the way u would advice yourself or even your younger sister(if you have one)? How would you feel if your sister stop supporting you financially after she is married assuming she was the bread winner? Love should be a two way thing so both of them should meet themselves halfway,the sacrifice shouldn't be done by one person alone except if the fiance is financially bouyant .

@poster, my dear i had a similar situation like yours not quite long, i ve a buz in Abj with plans of travelling abroad for buz too but i gave all that up for marriage; at first i was confused just as you are right now but with some advaice like this i made up my mind to do it. Right now all is not rosy but am not staving either but i no with time things will turn out good so it all depend n your mindset. Mind you i was 23 when i was ready for marriage but finally do at 30plus now fighting fibriod nd miscarriages. Use your time well. Peace

love should be kept aside...l know how hard it is to get a good job...seriously babe its not easy...if you are one bring home the money then by all means quit the marriage,it your husband is bouyant enough to take care of you and himself,relocate,love him the more and work hard towards getting another job...l would have said shuttle btw lagos and abuja, but that wouldn't be easy as you folks are newly wed and would like 2 spend alot of time 2gether,not to talk about possible air disaster, which one may be involved in...ln my mind l would say quit the married as l see it your man is financially strong...or he should locate to lagos,if you geniunly love him, and realise that your failure or success is his and vice versa.

poster do what your heart tells you.

@parryon u're really on point, everytime a women W̶̲̥̅̊ȋ̊ƪƪ need to sacrifice, why can't d man Leave his own Job and join the wife in Lagos. Now he want dis young Lady to give up her work for Marriage, is he ready to take up the responsibility? of both the lady and her Family? Absolutely N̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣ º°˚. The Lady shld just ask for God direction and Let †ђξ man think well because it will not be good for this Lady to regret given up her job thereafter.

Cancel ur wedding for a job?? Seriously?? Dt won't be a wise decision...ů will definately get a better job in abj,am sure ur husband to be won't let dt issue drag.then,ů sud consider applying for jobs already..don't ever consider losing a gud man over a job...excpt maybe ů aving second tots and its far from d job issue...think it through!

Job.

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it is simple, u dont love ur man(husband 2 be).

Compromise poster.
I won't advice you to forsake one for the other. Talk to your hubby girlie

Me personally, I would just choose the job, not because I do not love my husband, He is the one after God to me, but all this make a choice thing has never worked with me,let me make up my own mind all by myself, if you try and force a decision on me, it just does not work even he knows it. He says It is because of the 'hole' I have on my ear, that I am stubborn

A husband that cares for your own happiness will always be the one to compromise. He is the man, he is meant to lead you,take care of you, care for your soul, he knows you moving to Abuja will make you sad so he will come to a compromise with you.

Also, one more thing, Good spouses (both men and women) are scarce. Not just good husbands!

Dyt: Atleast work 4 d few mnths b4 ur weddin, u cld b lucky dey v a branch in abj, afta ur weddin apply 4 a transfer and if otherwise, u only know wat u want

True talk. Your brain stil dey wrk.

Op, does dis job earn u more pay than ur man? Does it have a better security? If yes, u guyz can discuss 2 see who shud compromise or postpone d wedding 2 give u tym 2 look 4 a job in abj. Its not all about d tittle 'Mrs'. If u'r d breadwinner of ur own family, can ur man play d role wen u guyz are married? Just follow ur heart sha n ask God 2 guide u
But wait o, i dont have a husband 2 b n no job yet. We finished service same october. If i approach u n tell u 2 give me one, which will u drop? Ur man or d job. Tink abt it

My humble advice is these.

1.Tell your man to shift that wedding probably next year to give time weigh your options.
2.Start scouting for jobs in Abuja immediately
3. Have a clear knowledge of your fiancee earning and his job security
4.Both of you should sit down and discuss abi initio what you want this intended union to be, set sentiment,"Ilove Ilove" and infatuation out of this discusion
5.With this and other considerations, you can take your decision.

Marriage is a fulfilment of life, do not approach it with errors

@op Get married, you ll probably get another job in Abuja.

Job bla bla bla!!! what is wrong with our today's women? it disgusts me' angrily, when ladies compare career with marriage/family, seriously.

Efehiaea: Op, does dis job earn u more pay than ur man? Does it have a better security? If yes, u guyz can discuss 2 see who shud compromise or postpone d wedding 2 give u tym 2 look 4 a job in abj. Its not all about d tittle 'Mrs'. If u'r d breadwinner of ur own family, can ur man play d role wen u guyz are married? Just follow ur heart sha n ask God 2 guide u
But wait o, i dont have a husband 2 b n no job yet. We finished service same october. If i approach u n tell u 2 give me one, which will u drop? Ur man or d job. Tink abt it

my dear, a job will earn you whatever until you are sacked ok? but marriage makes you have and build your own family with your husband, and the joy/happiness/benefit/reward/etc is for a life time. ok? career and family are uncomparable!! jeeezzzz!!!

Your fiance could be a sincere person otherwise he would nt tell u to resign after wedding.If he is good to u plz marry he he will take good care of until u get another job.It is the responsibility of a man to carter for his wife nt ur job.

what if you get sacked after cancelling the marriage?

Flocris: I am a 24year old lady, I finished my NYSC service october 2011 and i just got a very good job in lagos last month(may). Now, i am about to get married, my husband to be resides in Abuja and my traditional and church wedding would be comming up on september. My fiance said that i would quit my job immediately after the wedding and relocate to Abuja.
Considering all the stress, depression, troubles and anxiety that i went through when i was searching for a job, i dont think it would be wise for me to quit the job that i just got and relocate to Abuja where i will be staying idle until i get another job which i dont even know how long that will take.
I am thinking of canceling the wedding because i dont want to go through what i went through when i was jobless. But my best friend thinks that canceling the wedding would be a VERY BIG mistake, according to her, "husband is scarce". I am so confused, i dont want to quit my job.
Please, i need some advice from married and experienced people in the house. Which should i choose, marriage or my job?.

Take the job. . .!!!

why love is good it very important to think of your husband financial status before you let go of your job, as a married man i know the importance of money in marriage this is because love will not pay the bills for you.i think you shld hv a good talk with your husband on his financial status if he can shoulder the responsibilities no problem go join him otherwise let him provide alternative before you relocate.but this should not stop the marriage from going on just try and be on the same page am sure he will understand after the talk.

jaibang: what if you get sacked after cancelling the marriage?

She will look for a new one. OP, is not telling us the whole story. I suspect that she knows/feels that her Fiance is not capable of meeting most of her financial wants (not needs). Hence, the reluctance to drop the job. Let us remember that Dakore Egbuson left acting and the limelight when she married a billionaire's son. Years before Genevive, Omotola et al dreamed of becoming superstars, a certain Ego Boyo would have been ahead of them but she married and sacrificed the acting career because her husband was "endowed' enough to make it happen.

My opinion.

no1madman: At 24,some women don born 3 pikin. . .if na lie make crocodile bite my nyansh.

LOL!!!

First of all how well is your husband faring in Abuja,does he have a stable job or an insecured one.I want to tell you not to trade your marriage but you need to know marriage works better when the home and possibly both parties have a good fulfilment in their income.It is also not easy to have a 24 yr old wife out there in another distant state all by herself in this new pinging and romancing world.If you are ready to get married,make up your mind to be with your husband if not face your job and you will later see another good guy when you are btw 26-28.Most men want to marry only industrious,working,goal oriented,money making, talented,beautiful,loving,balanced and virtous wives.so work on yourself,pray and you will never be out of a good man

OOOOOOOH THIS IS ACTUALLY VERY SENSITIVE, I GO WITH THOSE THAT ASK WHY DID THE MAN ALLOW HER TO LOOK FOR JOB IN LAGOS YHE FIRST PLACE, COS I KNEW THE R/SHIP DIDNOT START NOW. WHY SHOULD IT BE THE LADY THAT WILL ALWAYS SACRIFICE, ""SUBMISSION I GUESS" BUT I BELIEVE THAT LOVE COMES BEFORE SUBMISSION, THE GIRL IS STILL SOME WHAT NOT OVER AGE AND I DONT KNOW THE AGE OF THE MAN.
BUT I WOULD ADVISE THAT IF THE MAN REALY LOVES HER THEN HE SHOULD GIVE HER SOMETIME TO ACQUIRE SOME EXPERIENCE IN LAG WHILE LOOKING FOR ANOTHER JOD AT ABJ COS I WILL NEVER ADVISE ANY LADY ESPECIALLY GRADUATES TO WASTE THIER EDUCATION AT HOME DOING NOTHING, EXCEPT IF IT WAS THE MAN THAT SPONSORED HER THRUOGH OUT THE SCHOOL YEARS, THEN SHE HAS TO GIVEUP ALL, SINCE HE WANTS HIS INVESTMENT TO BE IN VAIN.

PLEASE MY SISTER FEEL FREE AND ENGAGE HIM IN A SERIOUS DISCUSSION, IF HE REALY LOVES YOU HE WILL DEFINITELY LISTEN AND UDERSTAND.

REALY UNDERSTAND YOUR SITUATION. BUT IF YOU ARE SURE THAT HE LOVES YOU AND YOU LOVES HIM TOO, IF IT WILL LEAD TO HEART BREK AVOID IT AND QUIT AFTERALL LOVE IS SACRIFICE, BUT LET HIM BE READY TO PROVIDE YOU WITH ALL YOU NEED

taryour:

my dear we av diffrent pespectives and mentality to how we wana leave our lives, u av urs and i av mine. Am living mine as it siuts me and i av never ad a reason to regret it,so if u dont like my way dosnt change anything about me or u so leave it at that....

ow re u? i'm not against u having ur views; afteral, we al can't think alike. i'm only tryin to point out that not being a career woman doesn't stop u from receiving 'insults' from men and ur husband doesn't have a 'right' to insult u. anyway, each man to his/her own. take care

maclatunji:

She will look for a new one. OP, is not telling us the whole story. I suspect that she knows/feels that her Fiance is not capable of meeting most of her financial wants (not needs). Hence, the reluctance to drop the job. Let us remember that Dakore Egbuson left acting and the limelight when she married a billionaire's son. Years before Genevive, Omotola et al dreamed of becoming superstars, a certain Ego Boyo would have been ahead of them but she married and sacrificed the acting career because her husband was "endowed' enough to make it happen.

My opinion.

hello dear, longest time! i agree wit ur post but there is a difference btw 'i want a job so that i ll be financially independent' and 'i need this job so that i can build a career in so and so'. for d first group, they work for d money while d second group work b'cos it's their passion. they want to affect lives thru a certain profession. i know a man who b'cos he wanted to be a committed teacher decided not to marry! there re some men n women like that so tellin such to forfeit job/career for marriage or any other thing is odd! take care!

991:

my dear, a job will earn you whatever until you are sacked ok? but marriage makes you have and build your own family with your husband, and the joy/happiness/benefit/reward/etc is for a life time. ok? career and family are uncomparable!! jeeezzzz!!!

and is marriage d ultimate for women? wat of millions of women miserable in their marriages?

i think you and your hubby-to-be need to discuss the possibility of gettin married and still stay employed. honestly, i cant cope be jobless or dependent on someone for my livelihood. i have been in this position before and i chose love. i need not tell you i really was jobless for a year n half. it all depends on what u treasure most. your man or your job. believe this, if the man worth it, leave the job cos u will always get another.

bukatyne: and is marriage d ultimate for women? wat of millions of women miserable in their marriages?

so women should stop getting married because millions(according to you) are miserable in marriage? i don't know what you might have experienced/been taught,etc about marriage, the FACT remains that marriage is on top of career. hate it if you will but its the truth.