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Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Will Disrespect You!! / How Couples Should Share Financial Responsibilities In The Home. / What Are The Responsibilities Of A Boyfriend Or Fiance? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by MrsChima(f): 11:27pm On Jun 18, 2012
In order for two people to share financial responsibilities....both parties NEED A JOB.

Back in the day....one income was wealthy. However, everybody that can work need to be working and if people are still stuck on that "women need to be at home" bullshit that is on their dumb arse.

If your sole income can support two incomes then by all means do you however, if you are struggling and the other person is able....GET UP OFF YOUR ARSE AND WORK.
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by queensmith: 11:39pm On Jun 18, 2012
Women need to find alot more pride in a career and a job nowadays, it will get you further than these men will.
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by luckgames(m): 1:57am On Jun 19, 2012
Mrs.Chima:
In order for two people to share financial responsibilities....both parties NEED A JOB.

Back in the day....one income was wealthy. However, everybody that can work need to be working and if people are still stuck on that "women need to be at home" bullshit that is on their dumb arse.

If your sole income can support two incomes then by all means do you however, if you are struggling and the other person is able....GET UP OFF YOUR ARSE AND WORK.
Ms Chima
You know me and you agree and disagree on issue
That is real life
You are very right sis
One income of 80.000.00 can not provide a mid class life style
Some dumb ass thinking all they need in life is P
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by Nobody: 2:33am On Jun 19, 2012
I think its important to work together as a team...as partners and best friends..Mutual respect, however the financial dynamics may be at the time. These are really the most important things to me and respect is just a part of it all smiley
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by GboyegaD(m): 2:39am On Jun 19, 2012
acidtalk: When young Nigerian men complain today on how their wives don't give them full respect as the man of the house unlike during their childhood days when their mothers basically 'worshipped' and feared their fathers. She dare not disobey his instructions and even if she was displayed at his actions, she doesn't point it out to his face in the public.

What so many (larger percentage) men of this generation fail to realize is that, their Fathers catered for the needs of the family 100% without asking a dime from his wife to support the family. Bust now, its a norm for men to share responsibilities with their wives like Feeding, house rent, power, water, security, childrens school fees, dstv, phone, feeding and even groceries bills with their wives and this same men expect to get 100% (full) respect and accord from their wives?

Where on earth is it possible for one 'partner in business' to be a slave to another when you hold equal or sometimes majority investment in the business.

Nigerian men if you want 100% respect and loyalty from your wives, then start taking 100% responsibility of the needs of the family and home from.

I beg to disagree with you totally but I would like to leave you to your opinion.
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by jaybee3(m): 5:41am On Jun 19, 2012
Any correlation between some Nigerian men turning to fraud because of this your reasoning bro?
Respect in marriages should be a dead cert and reciprocal regardless of the financial sharing formula.
The other worrying side of your coin that you've failed to ignore is, most men that believe in the 100% sharing formula tend to have the archaic mentality of sole ownership of the woman which in turn makes them treat the wives as a property rather than the a co-pilot that they ought to be.
Women are empowered these days and with equality laws being championed all over the place makes it easier to have good relationships were both parties have equal stakes in it.
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by acidtalk: 9:27am On Jun 19, 2012
I am really impressed by what i am reading.

It appears even the women don't see absolutely nothing wrong in sharing financial responsibilities with their husband and still according him his respect as the man of the house.
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by queensmith: 9:35am On Jun 19, 2012
what respect do you people keep making noise about? Don't you earn respect? If you deserved respect will you not be respected? Or you think the fact you was born with a penis commands respect?

Early in the morning this coonery is a bit too much.
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by stagger: 11:16am On Jun 19, 2012
acidtalk: When young Nigerian men complain today on how their wives don't give them full respect as the man of the house unlike during their childhood days when their mothers basically 'worshipped' and feared their fathers. She dare not disobey his instructions and even if she was displayed at his actions, she doesn't point it out to his face in the public.

What so many (larger percentage) men of this generation fail to realize is that, their Fathers catered for the needs of the family 100% without asking a dime from his wife to support the family. Bust now, its a norm for men to share responsibilities with their wives like Feeding, house rent, power, water, security, childrens school fees, dstv, phone, feeding and even groceries bills with their wives and this same men expect to get 100% (full) respect and accord from their wives?

Where on earth is it possible for one 'partner in business' to be a slave to another when you hold equal or sometimes majority investment in the business.

Nigerian men if you want 100% respect and loyalty from your wives, then start taking 100% responsibility of the needs of the family and home from.

Total and utter nonsense!
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by deyrock(m): 11:22am On Jun 19, 2012
acidtalk:



*laugh wan kill me*

I took the patience to read through your comment before checking your gender and lo and behold, I knew it was one frustrated man that would have gone rantting that bad.
If the post said "women respect and honor your husbands". Moro*ons like you will give us a billion examples how women of those days knelt to feed their husbands now you are quick to justify why the responsibility MUST be shared.

A word of advice, you can't have full control to a ground when you aren't paying the full bills. If you like, Hang Yourself. Na you sabi.
u jst another animal .
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by Joeblis(m): 11:30am On Jun 19, 2012
am enjoying this topic..keep the comments coming its really educative
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by DCTrendy(m): 11:36am On Jun 19, 2012
@poster,

Whether or not you re feeding your family and taking the responsibilities all alone, the fact remains that: wives, submit to your own husband!

That is the commandment of God, and there is nothing you and I can do about it!


When God blesses you, and your re taking the responsibility, and you allow it to get to your brains, ahaha... U re in a big mess, cos its a matter of time
Before you loose it all. But when your re taking all the responsibility or part of it, but you still remain submissive, ahaha...! You have got it all. God ll stand right behind you

And help you always.

My token for you.

1 Like

Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by arabambi: 11:37am On Jun 19, 2012
in my own way, i think men should live up to their responsibility and always pray that God help them. Is always good as a man to see yourself as the head of the house irrespective of ur income. Ur wife is ur assistance irrespective of her income and she is equally your responsibility. Even though you are a cobbler, a mechanic, a doctor and so on and ur wife earns more or less God has made u the head dont wait to share ur duty. She will do her part. U can ask her to lend u and pay back later not telling her sharing duty. Am maried and thats what i do. The economy is truly hard, but may we continue to be on top.

2 Likes

Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by chooaeb: 11:47am On Jun 19, 2012
acidtalk:



*laugh wan kill me*

I took the patience to read through your comment before checking your gender and lo and behold, I knew it was one frustrated man that would have gone rantting that bad.
If the post said "women respect and honor your husbands". Moro*ons like you will give us a billion examples how women of those days knelt to feed their husbands now you are quick to justify why the responsibility MUST be shared.

A word of advice, you can't have full control to a ground when you aren't paying the full bills. If you like, Hang Yourself. Na you sabi.
\
@lovegames and @acidtalk, please cease fire and dont let women laugh us o. lol
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by Nobody: 11:47am On Jun 19, 2012
My wife's money is my money and vice versa. She also knows I'm not planning to change that anytime soon. Moreover when I was the only one working I made it a point of duty to let her know that the salary is for both of us since we are one. I buy things (land and cars inclusive) and I make sure it's her name on it. I therefore did not have any qualms to have her handle the home front financially when she got a good job. I earn a 7 digit on a monthly basis and have worked for over 10 years. She's in the 6 digit range and has worked for about 5. It therefore makes sense for me to be the one applying for loans for capital investments while we use her money for day to day runnings of the house. RESPECT? I won that long time ago when we were still courting. I only work hard at maintaining it. My money can not give me the respect if I don't treat her right and fairly.

7 Likes

Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by micklplus(m): 11:51am On Jun 19, 2012
Most peeps that have responded here are not yet married so, they don't know what it takes to be in a mutual relationship(marriage)
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by acidtalk: 11:52am On Jun 19, 2012
arabambi: in my own way, i think men should live up to their responsibility and always pray that God help them. Is always good as a man to see yourself as the head of the house irrespective of ur income. Ur wife is ur assistance irrespective of her income and she is equally your responsibility. Even though you are a cobbler, a mechanic, a doctor and so on and ur wife earns more or less God has made u the head dont wait to share ur duty. She will do her part. U can ask her to lend u and pay back later not telling her sharing duty. Am maried and thats what i do. The economy is truly hard, but may we continue to be on top.


Nice one.
My thinking too that irrespectice of if you earn far less than the woman, a man can still strive to foot the whole bills. It might not be easy for I believe God will bless him according to his intentions.

Its like a man who prays never to go meet anyone for assistance, one way or the other things just fall into plays before he is totally worn out to the extent of going to borrow or beg for help.
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by icon2: 11:53am On Jun 19, 2012
acidtalk: When young Nigerian men complain today on how their wives don't give them full respect as the man of the house unlike during their childhood days when their mothers basically 'worshipped' and feared their fathers. She dare not disobey his instructions and even if she was displayed at his actions, she doesn't point it out to his face in the public.

What so many (larger percentage) men of this generation fail to realize is that, their Fathers catered for the needs of the family 100% without asking a dime from his wife to support the family. Bust now, its a norm for men to share responsibilities with their wives like Feeding, house rent, power, water, security, childrens school fees, dstv, phone, feeding and even groceries bills with their wives and this same men expect to get 100% (full) respect and accord from their wives?

Where on earth is it possible for one 'partner in business' to be a slave to another when you hold equal or sometimes majority investment in the business.

Nigerian men if you want 100% respect and loyalty from your wives, then start taking 100% responsibility of the needs of the family and home from.


Guy go siddon for dirty!
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by superior1: 12:03pm On Jun 19, 2012
My wife is suppose to be my helper, right?. I am not Van damme, when the bill is killing me, I shout to her for support. It changes nada about her respecting me, it is dis kind of Bruce lee arts suggested by OP that made some men age and die before their time. In my village, most women live several years after their poor 'all bills carrying polygamous'husband is long gone.
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by moonraker(m): 12:14pm On Jun 19, 2012
shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked acidtalk??

I get your point, like seriously..

what you fail to see though is that

taking full responsibility of finances etc

doesn't necessary give you respect.

plus the world is changing. marriage is a

partnership btw man and woman...

Any woman that expects the man to take 100 percent

of bills etc is well day dreaming.

with all due respect, I think your ideology is only

practiced in Nigeria. you need to see what goes on in

Europe, Asia and even America...
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by acidtalk: 12:22pm On Jun 19, 2012
superior1: My wife is suppose to be my helper, right?. I am not Van damme, when the bill is killing me, I shout to her for support. It changes nada about her respecting me, it is dis kind of Bruce lee arts suggested by OP that made some men age and die before their time. In my village, most women live several years after their poor 'all bills carrying polygamous'husband is long gone.

One wife with a single kid alone na load. So why them go marry more than one and numerous children. Na their greed kill them.
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by acidtalk: 12:28pm On Jun 19, 2012
moonraker: shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked acidtalk??

I get your point, like seriously..

what you fail to see though is that

taking full responsibility of finances etc

doesn't necessary give you respect.

plus the world is changing. marriage is a

partnership btw man and woman...

Any woman that expects the man to take 100 percent

of bills etc is well day dreaming.

with all due respect, I think your ideology is only

practiced in Nigeria. you need to see what goes on in

Europe, Asia and even America...

I agree with you, but don't forget even in those areas you mention, women have same constitutional rights as men and in some cases, a woman's decision is usually final both at home and in the court of law.

Kenya which is even in Africa, it is well known that most of their women fend for the family while the man just sits idle at home, but the man dares not raises his voice not to talk of hand on his wife as he will spend uncountable days behind bars.
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by engineerboat(m): 12:47pm On Jun 19, 2012
The whole issue bothers on understanding between the two, though generally believed that Men carry the financial responsibility at Home, but the women have there own part to take,
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by duality(m): 12:52pm On Jun 19, 2012
90% of those commenting here are not married and know next to nothing about marriage.
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by OILOFGLADNESS: 12:52pm On Jun 19, 2012
a lady possess respect for the husband whether she supports the man or not will still maintain her yirtous character but men should also konw that respect is reciprocal

whenever you accord maximum love, care, respect to your wife whether you have or not she will definitely respect you.
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by acidtalk: 12:56pm On Jun 19, 2012
duality: 90% of those commenting here are not married and know next to nothing about marriage.

Please if you are married, kindly share your opinion on what exactly should be the case for couples and issues bothering on financial responsibilities
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by luckgames(m): 1:05pm On Jun 19, 2012
slimyem: work themselves to death?
Where did i say that?
.
.
A woman will gladly share responsibilities with you if you treat her like a partner that she is.. not something lesser.
But treating her like an insurbordinate and expecting partcipation in responsiblities alongsides 100 percent
respect is a big FAIL!!!
Your dumb ignorant, greedy and selfish self don't understand what is called a family
Relationship is pilot and co-pilot
Married or relationship is partnership not me, me, me mentality you have
If you don't not want to participate in our joint responsibility to better ourselves
You can walk out and keep moving your dumb A??
You will get F??King Child support that is what you want right?
So go die a lonely,selfish single lady
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by bisi16(m): 1:10pm On Jun 19, 2012
This is d 21st century, marriage is "partnership" now...
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by luckgames(m): 1:14pm On Jun 19, 2012
acidtalk: I forgotten to tell you something yeaterday

I was sitting in a gathering of Nigerian men last summer
This dude came over to other dude
And said I heard this person's wife wear the pant in the relationship
Guess what?
The man make lot of money and pay lot of the bill too
A man and woman that was raise well know what is call respect
It is not about paying bills but values, moral, fairness,and consideration
Re: Does Sharing Financial Responsibilities Bring Disrespect In Marriages? by Nobody: 1:21pm On Jun 19, 2012
This thread speaks about our society as a whole where only money rules. If you have it, you get respect (even if you are a crook). But a few points to point out here

1. A man does not need to be feared and revered by his wife. She is his wife and not a slave. I do not understand why you need 100% control in your marriage.

2. A man should be able to provide for his family. As a man, you take the lead in protecting, providing and directing your family. And that includes helping you wife to maximise her potential. That might mean she may end up having more money than you, but you should still be the leader

3. Marriage is not competition. The bible says the woman is the help meet, meaning you can actually help your man even financially.

In my case, I am actually responsible for where my wife is today. She went from earning nothing to about half of what I earn today and I have placed some financial responsibilities on her so that she knows how to manage money. Her money should not be for buying bags and shoes only but she also helps out regularly even though I carry most of the bills. The fact that she now shares in the responsibilities does not mean she will now disrespect me.

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