₦airaland Forum

See wetin salon money don cause..lol.

OP don bail..if she no marry this guy,i go clap hand for her.

Most of you are getting it wrong.There is nothing wrong with a friend taking care of a friend.

There is nothing wrong in expecting a bf to foot some of your bills on his own,as long as one does not habitually demand or see it as his duty.

I really question the foundation of this relationship,this story is not complete.

Don't and never marry someone you don't love and can never marry on a normal situation.

Myles,royce..jesse

This post don spoil my day.Chai,i am seriously beginning to fear for my sisters.Most naija men dey fall my hand.

Lord i don't want a female child..and i will kill any of my son wey fall my hand by failing to take care of their wives.

This is wickedness..are u sure u did not do him anything,did anything happened in the past?I dey vex here now...

Chai,sister pls be strong for ur baby,we feel ur pains.

people seek the face of god to find wife and husband,chai..even what to eat..lol.

You guys should learn from Adam.Adam did not pray to god,infact there is no where in the bible u were asked to pray for a spouse.Just like eve,god brings people our way,it is left for you to identify the right people and welcome them into ur life.

What happened to god honoring our heart desires,establishing our expectations...this how my uncle ended up with his grand mother as a wife,and sacrificed his education abroad..god spoke to me,person no go hear something.

We should learn to take responsibility for what we want in life,and that is what god expects of us.
Proverb 18:22 He that finds a wife....get this into ur religious skulls,not he that asks god for one...have an expectation and go look for it.

Mathew 18:18:I tell you the truth, whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven..god honors our decisions and desires,that is why he gave us a sound mind.

I have given u all that pertains to life and godliness..[/b]all..all,babies keep asking for everything.Religion has killed the glory of god in us..just look at this generation.Should we ignore god in our decision making?NO!

[b]Proverb 16:3 ...Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans..get a plan even for love..shine ur eyes

Wisdom is free,and it is everywhere,shine your eyes.All this god speaks to me is spoiling many things,the worst thing is,even morons hear the voice of god.

When you find someone you love,what else can be more wonderful than that,take responsibility for ur life for once,god is not father Christmas as ur pastors would want u to believe,but he is our caring father,and he has given us all it takes..even when we make mistakes,he is their to catch us.

Take responsibility for your life.

The problem with humans is that they want to change everything,and see how f-ed up we are.

leave the kid joor..person wey get pekin dey cry,person wey no get dey cry too.What do u want?

Why not try it on urself first,and then decide if it will work for your kid.Child development is already hard,please leave the baby alone to grow.

kitty kat: Have u onsidered that d guy might be crazy abt me but jsut boring? I don't know how u guys just come up with siLly conclusions. I hv broken a relationship just because I was bored stiff. After d excitement of the physical attraction, u find that mental compatibility is zero. No matter how hard I try to force it, d pesin no fit match. Its actually frustrating.

Only few people are interested in talking about serious stuffs..just find someone compatible with u on most level,then convo won't be a problem.

dowjones: most naija chics are interesting online but incredibly boring and shallow in person. if you are what you say you are its a good thing .

I agree with you.If you don't have anything to say,they just disappear,and forget it if becomes too serious (things outside shopping,gossip and nollywood).They are fast to label people boring and yet they can hardly hold a nice convo for more than 5 minutes.

Seriously,some ladies need to take responsibility for their own fun and happiness.

Jesus get picture..and who tell u say that white man picture na Jesus..may be black Jesus pic will be fine.

Boring lecturers..especially the dumb ones that give simple examples and bring hell in exams and tests.

i am tired of people talking about father figure that can not take the lead.How can a man be a father figure when he can not lead and love by example?This story is not only one sided,the op does not know she wants,i bet you guys,she will come back again.

A man that cannot love his wife,the mother of his kids can never be a father figure..except the wife is Jezebel

When men had the power to protect their homes they abused it,now women are empowered they are too enjoying it,effect-confusion.

The problem with Nigerians is that they don't know how to mind their business,putting pressure on everyone.And mass ignorance is not even helping matters.

" I think a man does what he can, until his destiny is revealed",Algren ( The last Samurai)

Religion is one reason i know very well is killing Nigerians.The people that support these ignorant morons..i repeat morons are just plain fools,cos they question nothing and they live in consistent fear.Its only in Nigeria where u don't even need a brain to lead a group of people.

God is not a Game..and can never be.It is poverty and ignorance that makes religion looks glorious.

jennykadry: 99.9% of Nigerian men are not good husbands.
Ask another question

This is like saying 99.999999999999999999999999999% of Nigerian women marry men they do not love.

I fear the average Nigerian religious guy.The number of male prostitutes in Naija churches is scaring...lol..sorry,just saying.I will go for anyone that will give me peace and add value to my life as long as we have similar values..

dbisiback: Ok if you insist i was wicked to have married him i accept though i didnt mean to be. Like someone rightly said i didnt want to be alasheju if you know what that means.

The kids has no idea trust me, we jist like 2 good friends, we laugh believe me we do so many things that if you know us you simply wont believe anything about us not loving each other or me not loving him, we go to parties together the problem is emotion, i mean having any kind of erotic feeling at all.

That i am strong and havent commited any form of adultery hunnnnnn believe me i have once some years back i nearly confesed to him but at the end didnt. I am sorry to disappoint you but there is no need covering that up to make myself look like a saint.

That i have spot for him trust me i dont, he is like a friend to me without any kind of emotion, none whatsoever.

That i should go to God in prayer, i did will keep doing it.

Thanks loads

First,your husband wronged you and from your statements he has tried to make amends,but you have refused to let go.What i think is the problem now is your guilt of wronging him.Bottling up guilt or negative feelings can create emotional distance,they are very dangerous..it becomes worse when you are a good person or someone that hardly forget things.

Confess to your husband and free your mind and spirit,If he forgives you,good for you.

jennykadry: I said it once that the reason why some men Cheat is because we women allow it. Go through the responses on this thread and see for yourself, women telling their fellow women to support him, be there for him, do this do that. If their husbands read their posts on this forum now and see where they have been writing about giving their all in a marriage where the man cheats all he time, give me one good reason why these men won't cheat if they get the opportunity to? You see my mother during one of our marriage seminars pre marriage, after she'd told my husband how stubborn I was and bla bla bla and he should not let me get my way all the time or should watch so that my mouth will not get me into trouble, or my anger not cause me to Kill someone (gosh the things she told my husband, still wonder why he went ahead with the wedding ) told my husband "my daughters can let go of anything but can never let go of the hurt a serial cheat or abuser will bring them and if these happens, they will walk and I will be 100% behind them cos my husband has never done any of that to me and I believe my kids deserve men like that"

This is a woman in her 60's and she told me her mum gave her the same lectures. So where did all these low esteem women get their own brains from?


@daresh

LMAO, you crack me up

From Nigeria King James bible.Religion is a dangerous weapon.

Women don hear something.This is bad..this woman is going tru hell.

Woman if you don't want to leave this man,then you need to give him some mean love.You have to be hard on this man.

This man no get shame..God please give my sisters good husbands..

chaircover: He is probably fagged out bless him. Banking work is not beans. Just today I had a banker come running to me that his target has been increased to 1 billion & to please help introduce him to people that I know to come and bank in his bank.

Give him another few weeks or so to catch his breath back and then try and sit down with him and work out what he wants to do, be it business or looking for another job. Please dont push him but be there for him.

If I were you, I will enjoy the time together as a family; also maybe its Gods time of moving him up for promotion so please dont look at it as all gloom.

Sound answers as usual..ur husband lucky well well..nice response.

Chai..the good ones always have the bad ones..opposites really attract.

Wait until u get a cheat or better still an abuser.

Try as much as possible to keep this secrete..and since most of your friends are aware,i hope it won't spill to ur husbands ear,wahala fit burst..just saying.

chinwe11: Thanks for your advices/insults sha. I have read them through, and i have decided to help out. I guess the reason why i had to bring this to NL is because most of my frieds kept warning me before wedding that 'DO NOT PAY FOR ANYTHING DURING THE WEDDING. IT IS THE HUSBANDS RESPONSIBILITY'. Even my relatives said the same thing, that in Ibo land its the man's duty. You get lots of advise from other women, this morning, a friend was telling me that after marriage, you keep your money and spend his, and they say that is what happens in thier homes. When the issue of bringing the 80% came up, i got worried,, cos i felt it would be like i was marrying my self. I have enough money to foot our wedding and even double of that. But was just worried it would be like i was marrying myself, or the man might take me for granted. Also i forgot to add that when i said he should borrow, i planned that we would pay back from my money, so it wont just look like i GAVE him the wedding money. Anyway sha i would bring my 80%.

Thanks for all your advises oh! I would post the wedding pictures here maybe! Thanks

she came back...it is well,e no easy.I wish you the best,and i pray he will appreciate you,and remember this day.I pray he loves you more..amen,

My questions is,why do people see the wrong signs and still proceed to get married?

No communication,no proper financial planning,No trust..and they want to get married?

jennykadry: Now I know why she doesn't want to contribute that much

I don dey pity the OP.I read her post..i wish them luck.

The wedding should be postponed,this marriage is doomed already.

80% is too much for one person whether man or woman,especially in this modern era.

some women are saying culture....now woman no equal to man again?

There is something behind this question...i feel something is not right somewhere.I mean if it is worth it why hesitate?

But if this question is coming from the mentality that only men should pay the wedding bills,then you are in for a big trouble.And this is one of the reasons why some men resent their ladies when they make it.

If it is not worth it, just take a walk.And if he is a good man,teach him how to ask for help instead of misinterpreting his statement.If you guys can not communicate,and at this stage u are coming to NL,then something is wrong..just saying.

Humans,why is it so difficult to keep nice people?

Go for thanks giving,cos that breakup was a big deliverance.I feel may be the other girl is richer.That man has no shame,and a man that never appreciate little things will never appreciate great things.Don't cry for an asshole,and don't harm yourself its not worth it,you will heal and you will find love again.Be strong.