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Religion / Re: I Want To Give My Tithe To A Brother In Need by 9lifes(m): 4:57pm On Apr 03, 2012 |
Give your brother the money abeg,tithing is not by force,you guys should read your bible. Matthew 25:40: "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' This is simplest form i can give you,cos most Nigerian Christians are zombies. 2 Likes |
Religion / Re: I Want To Give My Tithe To A Brother In Need by 9lifes(m): 4:51pm On Apr 03, 2012 |
joe4christ: Shut up! |
Romance / Re: Am In Luv With 2 Guys( I Need Advice) by 9lifes(m): 5:29am On Apr 03, 2012 |
sexlog: which womanhood? |
Romance / Re: Am In Luv With 2 Guys( I Need Advice) by 9lifes(m): 5:27am On Apr 03, 2012 |
MRbrownJAY: don't waste your energy,she has made up her mind already.Look at a dumb response,so cheating is normal?Naija men ride on. |
Romance / Re: Am In Luv With 2 Guys( I Need Advice) by 9lifes(m): 5:20am On Apr 03, 2012 |
2nkechi: thanks for ur advice. but u know u wouldnt want to be in a situation where ur parents are not in support of ur marriage. thats my only fear or dey tell me "i warned u right from the get go" wen tins dont go well. 7 years what a waste.The same parents will sit at home until their daughters die in abusive relationships.They will fight to stop you from marrying someone you love,but they will do nothing to save you from abusive husbands.make your choice,but let me make it clear,when problems start coming out,it will be you and just you alone.One year is really too small to know anyone especially Nigerian men. 1 Like |
Romance / Re: Broken Relationships "the Cause" Guyz Version by 9lifes(m): 4:56am On Apr 03, 2012 |
Zenanted: Generally, ladies dnt luv guys dat luv them MR DREAMER,WAIT UNTIL E REACH YOU! |
Romance / Re: What's It About A Shy Guy That Turns U Babes Off by 9lifes(m): 5:54pm On Mar 31, 2012 |
queensmith: Being shy does not necessary mean one lacks confidence..most leaking mouths called talkative have f_ed up esteem issues. |
Romance / Re: Would You Marry A "Reformed Slut"? by 9lifes(m): 5:00pm On Mar 30, 2012 |
It will be hard thing to do..ideally everyone should be given a chance,but in this case..i just can't. |
Religion / Re: Is It Truely Demonic To Eat In The Dream? by 9lifes(m): 4:17am On Mar 29, 2012 |
I love eating fruits in the dream cos its free..especially in feast and charity events.I am even toasting a girl in the dream,she has refused to give me her number,hopefully i will have a spiritual girl friend soon.After dating her for at least six months,if all is cool i will have a spiritual wife.Lord pls touch her, i just need her number.because of her i sleep as early as 7pm so i can have enof time with her before day break..lol. If you don't dream about things you do in real life what else are we expect to see in our dreams..religion is seriously killing us. Please eat as much as you can..it's free. |
Politics / Re: NDDC To Build 3 Swimming Pools In ND To Promote Swimming As A Sport by 9lifes(m): 1:57pm On Mar 28, 2012 |
men shame dey catch me 1 Like |
Romance / Re: Girls:please Read THIS Before Saying Yes I Do by 9lifes(m): 2:59pm On Mar 27, 2012 |
They never learn!for better my aXX..marriage vows should be held on a clean and mutual ground,once you life is at risk it means you should leave.She committed suicide,and i wonder what her family did. the husband is an ahole,if na my sister i will blow his fing brain..bullshit.I am angry,nonsense...it was plain ignorance and foolishness on her part..sorry if anyone think this comment is harsh. 1 Like |
Romance / Re: Why Guys Don't Value Nice Girls by 9lifes(m): 1:55pm On Mar 27, 2012 |
Both genders are guilty.i dey find nice girl,they are hard to find i swear. 1 Like |
Romance / Re: Why Are Nigerian Men Obsessed With Nigerian Girls? by 9lifes(m): 6:33pm On Mar 26, 2012 |
This naija women bashing is getting really scary.Men i swear una don put fear for my body..I use to think these guys were joking until a i dated my first naija girl.I know there are good ones,but.... |
Family / Re: Would You Go For A Low-key Marriage Ceremony? (you, Spouse, Parents And Siblings) by 9lifes(m): 6:52am On Mar 26, 2012 |
It will be nice to see a naija lady that will first propose this idea.Whether i am rich or not,i will go for a low key wedding. |
Family / Re: Would You Go For A Low-key Marriage Ceremony? (you, Spouse, Parents And Siblings) by 9lifes(m): 6:45am On Mar 26, 2012 |
duality: lots of people will keep saying; i want a low key wedding but look at the streets, halls, hotels and churches every Saturday, what do you see? your guess is as good as mine. I totally agree with you."I pass my neighbor" mentality won't let them be themselves. |
Romance / Re: Lack Of Romance & Intimacy In My Marriage by 9lifes(m): 9:53am On Mar 17, 2012 |
it's really a difficult situation to be in especially when only one party is seeking for the solution. OP,from your reply i don't think you guys communicate very well,even before your marriage.Something is just wrong somewhere..this story is not complete.If his current behavior is not something you are used to,then i feel he is cheating or having an emotional affair and the guilt due to his love for you is creating an emotional distance between you guys.(just my idea,i may be totally wrong). it's had to find a solution when both parties are not involved.You have to speak out,you have to scream until he hears you.Until he gets involved,it is really going to be hard,get him to listen to you,you have to speak out so you don't die in silence. Be strong,everything will be fine. |
Religion / Re: Are Spiritual Husbands Real? by 9lifes(m): 9:21am On Mar 17, 2012 |
Mentalities like this one are the reasons why Nigeria will keep going backward.After corruption,religion is our second worse curse in Nigeria. Ignorant people,una never suffer yet,na the beginning be this. |
Family / Re: After An Affair by 9lifes(m): 9:55pm On Feb 22, 2012 |
Thanks guys. I think this issued is settled.There are so many details i cannot not post here,i just can't.I have decided to move on with my life.i have called her to discuss my stance,she is not taking it too well.I am afraid i cannot proceed with the relationship,i don't see us happy in the future,i cant get pass the flashbacks,questions and more questions. She has been a wonderful friend,but the damage is just too much to bear.I am taking a break. Thanks again. |
Foreign Affairs / Re: Gaddafi’s Former Residence Becomes A Marketplace by 9lifes(m): 9:48pm On Feb 22, 2012 |
I see how ignorant people can be. Libyans are suffering now.I know a lot of them, the media will never cover their current pains and regrets.And pls guys,don't ever compare Gaddafi with any Nigerian leader, he was a gift to Africa. your responses show why we will always remain backward, ignorant morons. |
Family / Re: After An Affair by 9lifes(m): 9:39pm On Feb 14, 2012 |
ftmom: You are wrong.This is what i am currently facing right now,and this is just part of the whole thing.And i wish i dey dat creative to be a script writer,but far from it. Men the thread done turn ipad thread, na cheating or something like that cos am too, lol. @moremi2008 I don observe the way you dey ginger anyhow when woman talk comes up.Well,this is an online environment you can be anything you want to be.Na people like you dey fall in love anyhow.Imagine how the ipad thing keeps coming up again and again, i may be wrong. For those that are still contributing,thanks for your points.I have more questions than answers.I thought when people find out about affairs like this they get really mad.i mean fight,scream or something to make a point,I was totally speechless.I had high expectations you know,i bragged about her strength and all that,but she fall my hand scatter.I have forgiven her,but the damage has been done. i don't think it will ever get normal again,i am not sure its worth sticking around.She has really been a very good friend,i just don't know what went wrong. Moving on is not going to be easy.I have problem with trusting people and its getting worse.It's not going to be easy trusting another girl,or putting so much effort into something that may disappear one day-i may be reacting.But beyond this point,its really going to be different. But one question first,why do most women, even married women encourage double dating for young ladies?It's always ok as long as it's a lady involved. Pls, it's just an observation within my small sphere,don't get me wrong.Keep your options open (aka double date) is the normal slogan now. It's time to keep my own open too,like wide open.If you want to be with someone go all out for them or just stay away.if you can't totally trust,just have fun and let them have fun too, just saying. |
Family / Re: After An Affair by 9lifes(m): 9:16am On Feb 14, 2012 |
Metalgoong: Most of the guys here are on the same page.Men i fear the devil in me ooh, I am not sure i want to take that path. moremi2008: I hope no be me u dey call mugu? because if na me,u are describing the wrong person.We are both independent people.She hardly ask for anything and that's one aspect of her life i love.I don't spend any how cos i got a lot on my table,so its either you deal with it or u bounce.This is my first serious relationship,and i had a lot of expectations.well shit happens, Right now,i am channeling all my energy into my postgrad, no time,when my head is cool i'll face the matter squarely. From what i have seen in most relationship around,the cheating,games,double dating e.t.c .,they are just chain reactions of what lack of trust can do, or something like that.People just want food wey don done,no body wants to build,and when someone is trying to be good,people just take them for granted. We are all angels until we are caught, na the pattern. |
Family / Re: After An Affair by 9lifes(m): 8:46pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
There so many conflicting versions to the whole thing or right now i just cant take any explanation. We knew each other for a year plus before i travel for a two years course.And since most of her friends are guys,this is one part of her life i never went into,now i think i made a mistake or something like that.In the first few months outside Nigeria she complained about a close male friend crossing his allowable space,i told her to deal with it.But few months after, i discovered the friendship was still on,this led to our first major misunderstanding.After that phase i heard nothing of her male friends until the affair issue came up.it lasted for more than 5 months,but according to her it was shorter than that,but the guy kept replaying the whole thing over an over,i saw several mails.Now i remember the words of my friends, "oboy catch fun ooh,woman go do u something one day, "may be they are right. Before this,we always had problems with boundary issues.She is very close to her male friends,but i have never had problems with this,but i warn her about certain lines i am uncomfortable with.There was no improvement,so i ignore that part and moved on, i really don't have energy to keep tabs on anyone, but right now,i am not sure if that was the right approach.Actually i expected nothing less,cos i was completely and totally committed to her,and i have to reassure her of my love like every fing day.Any text msg or mail without ending it with i love u, go turn to wahala, i mean i gave my best. Her relationship with the guy ended few months after i was due to return but failed to make it.Then she accused me of cheating and all that,and asked for the password to my mail.I was like mails are suppose to be private things,she refuse to listen and insisted that my refusing was the proof she was looking for.I gave it to her, gave her one week to do her investigations and then change the passowrd.The problem started when i had to ask her too for the password to her mail.Then she said with a low voice tune, " make your heart no break for the things u see inside, there are mails that will shock you", and yes she was right, i found hell.That was the first time ever to access someones mail box. The guy was practically in my spot.The words they exchanged were not different from ours, the way they talked about their whole experience and shits.And this guy was also engaged to another person.And things that are not suppose to be shared,she did with this guy, and i was like,where is my special place?For now i am dealing with all these myself,cos i practically boasted about her among my friends.My friends go go kill me and her if they find out.My mom is madly in love with this girl,she does things she has never done to us, send food even to her office,cook special meals for her, god,what else do women want,what is too good to be true,LOVE? There are so many conflicting and connecting dots, still watching shall,God dey,nothing do them. forgive my errors. |
Family / Re: After An Affair by 9lifes(m): 8:01pm On Feb 13, 2012 |
Thank you all for your answers.You all have great and conflicting points.Like i said for now,i just want to be neutral until my head is clear a bit. @freesia She wasn't trying to end it.To the best of my knowledge we were open.I think she is matured enof to know i can take any reason or explanation if leaving was her plan.I will explain further how i discovered it. @ronkebp Can you really give ur best without trust in a relationship?but ur points are noted. @dayokanu men the experience is hell,i don loose weight,i never come on cam to chat with my family because of this.Na now i understand why guys dey cry before they turn playboys,the flash backs no get part two.You just do't know what to believe again,i can no longer do things i do naturally with her. @mutter How can u love someone and u are unhappy around them,na love be that?explain if u can.If this statement "Women are very vulnerable, especially when they are of marriageable age." is true,what is the proof of strength.Men are also vulnerable when it comes to faithfulness too,we all are exposed,the problem is falling.And yes she was courageous to an extent cos i discovered it my self.May be the guy would have also attended my wedding,she introduced him as a friend.Thanks,you made good points. @tatyour There so many funny dots that are connecting and others that are not.She may be remorseful,but what are about the reasons behind it.I personally no get time for games,its very straining,guys and women wey dey do am get strength, the simpler the better. |
Family / Re: After An Affair by 9lifes(m): 9:43am On Feb 13, 2012 |
@chaircover thanks for your reply,i have been expecting your response.I guess the ball is in my court and u are very right an on point. @chioma134 Premarital sex has nothing to do with unfaithfulness.Anyone that will cheat will cheat,whether they engage in premarital sex or not, I am a christian, but i am sorry to say i fear "church women" more than women of other religions.I have seen it happen over and over again,and the funniest thing about it is that we do talk about it a lot,fornication and all that in the church,but right now all that is making no sense. @moremi I know say na this kind story you no won hear,i have been observing your comments,and i am not surprise at your stance.Thanks,noted. But the question is, how important is faithfulness in relationship outside marriage?why do girls easily think it's ok to double date or have a backup plan?Just few days ago i was discussing with a female friend and she told me that in a women forum in church, they were asked not to put their "confidence" in men as per relationship,and they should always use there heads in any relationship.Is this not a bad advise,and by confidence i assumed she was talking about trust because she could not give me the details of the whole gist. Why is cheating among this naija generation so common, right now i dont care what religion you are when it comes to marriage,na peace i dey find.I don't see too many shit inside church.Well, i guess you can trust no one.Is it this hard to find someone to trust and someone you love so much.I mean,how do you actually trust people,does it actually exist in practical terms or it is just something we naturally expect within certain context. What is love,what is trust?Can someone pls answer. |
Family / Re: After An Affair by 9lifes(m): 1:57am On Feb 13, 2012 |
@MrBrownJAY You know is hard to just walk away.after years of total commitment,years of sacrifice and efforts.Walking away and starting all over again is the problem.Is it better out there?It will take God's grace to put such effort into another relationship, still cracking my head. Men i tire for the whole thing, wetin she want i no give, i never recover from the shock.Men i have never been in a state like this before.I tried to find out why,but no explanation is getting into my ****ed up head.The problem is that i still love this girl,but the trust part is killing me.She has really been a good friend,i just don't know what went wrong. How long does it take to recover from a heartbreak, LOL, heartbreak counselor,the thing don reach your door, lol, i am dying and i am laughing. |
Family / Re: After An Affair by 9lifes(m): 12:03am On Feb 13, 2012 |
Thanks for your replies. @MRbrownzJAY the matter is actually before an elderly person that has been keeping an eye on us.She confessed to her before i found out,and i have confirmed from the her too.But the damage and the effects are done already,for now i am kind of neutral trying to find a concrete reason to stay or move, right now i am not even emotionally stable to hear any version of the story.And yes you were right on point.How can one just throw away something we've built for so long. Just neutral for now. @taryour I am seeing it that way.I fear i may not be patient enof to wait for it.i am just confused right now.I mean what will make i lady do that and still don't want to let go.The shock is killing me. |
Family / After An Affair by 9lifes(m): 8:22pm On Feb 12, 2012 |
I want to know if it is worth fighting for your relationship after an affair? Does it ever get normal again? What is love without total trust? We are not yet married,and I am really battling staying in the relationship after the whole hell of finding out about the affair.Despite forgiving her,I still feel some emptiness in me,I feel this hole inside me that just wont go away. I still love her,but I can no longer boast about her,the feeling of seeing her as special is gone.I am still trying to see if I can really let go or just move on.If I move on,I am afraid I may not be the same again.I gave my all to this lady,I almost lost my social life because of her. Is it worth staying in relationship outside marriage after an affair? |
Family / Re: I Have Fallen Out Of Love: What To Do? by 9lifes(m): 7:24pm On Jan 25, 2012 |
Your heart is not free yet.Either you are not yet healed from the hurt he caused you,or the guilt of ur affair has created a wall between you and ur husband. Unconfessed sins can kill slowly, you need to release your heart,forgive and let go.If he has been trying, learn to trust again. May be his actions bring back memories,just let go and free your heart.No matter how you love someone,if you've crossed a line,as long as u keep it secret especially when it is eating u up from within,it will finally eat your love for that person.Guilt and unconfessed sin can kill love. Check your heart |
Romance / Re: Ladies: Why You Should Practise Circular-dating by 9lifes(m): 2:43pm On Dec 14, 2011 |
The problems with dating today are unrealistic expectations and too many rules (or games) |
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