₦airaland Forum

You are fortunate this one is not smart, she would have label him a rapist.

That time his eyes will be clear

A woman calls her husband who has gone to work.
Woman: Baby, pls buy me Yam at the market on your way back from work.
Husband: OK honey, but I gave you money before leaving the house this morning, right?
Woman: Yes, baby. But I'm tired. Do that for me, pls!
Husband: OK honey, see you. Few minutes later, the husband calls the woman back.
Husband: Honey, help! Come quickly, to the market. The lady selling the yam grabbed me by the neck, accusing me of being responsible for her pregnancy.
Woman: What? Baby I'm on my way.
She arrived the market and calls her husband to know his position.
Woman: Hello baby, I'm here. Pls where are you?
Husband: I'm still at work. Buy your yam and go home dear.
Love youuuuuu.

oblozzolawrence:
I jus delivered a car to abuja last week and the best route to ply this period is mokwa jebba road to minna then enter abuja and I was paid 80k sharp.

Look, it obvious that the humanbeing that said fuel 8k to abuja from lagos is the most clueless person ever, and I'm very sure the guy no even sabi drive self...wit all the rubbish he typed, you'll know dat dis one don't av a slightest clue of wat he is talking about...
Dat being said.

My advice is if you're to move ur car dis particular period of time for whatever purpose,
Pls get a military personnel and budget btw 80-100k to abuja.

It was on my way back that I got to know that route, though it's rough and far.
But you may only encounter custom, I charged 100k though.

The way people cry because of meat still surprises me, this is someone that probably came empty handed or just one rough loaf of bread.

jamesbridget13:
For this lockdown just know that every one hour drive is 10k. From Lagos to Abuja na how many hours? Let's say about 10-11hrs. Oga just prepare 100k

Let them be telling him 30&40k, these are people that dare not take the risk of driving far distance especially during this period of lockdown..

jamesbridget13:
For this lockdown just know that every one hour drive is 10k. From Lagos to Abuja na how many hours? Let's say about 10-11hrs. Oga just prepare 100k

Let them be telling him 30&40k, these are people that dare not take the risk of driving far distance especially during this period of lockdown.

CokeBar:
Lagos to Abuja

08142854438
I no longer have access to the email I used to open the account, or you can drop yours let me call you.

Observer1:
Becareful my friend before you get yourself kidnapped or killed.

Don't be too quick to jump into any available.........

Hmmmm, taken.

CokeBar:
I actually need someone for this exact reason.

But you have to be trustworthy.

Quote me if you can

Where to where?
I can run it?

DWJOBScom:
That may end up stealing tbe car or messing with the cars interiors

Naaaa

Una like risk sha

What they don't even know is not everybody that likes picking passengers on the road

Christaks:
80k,

You are right.

That shld be the starting point. If you (OP) pay him 10k, hv u considered the risk and expenses if u driving it your self.

When some people are already offering him 40&50k?
Those ones hvent been on the road lately that's why, any serious person won't take anything less than 80k.

Bluehill1051:
All these people saying settlement of police and custom reach 30k makes me wonder o. Even Lagos to Abuja sef. I n my brother toured those roads almost 10times back in 2018 in a 2006 corolla. We fuel 8K and that gets us comfortably to abuja on full air con.
We never settled police, army or custom up to 30k, not even 10k sef. Highest we settled was one a trip we forgot to carry MOT custom paper n we settled 5k. So me I don't understand o.
Except maybe now that there's a lock down, it may even exceed that 30k

The road no be here, immediately after EPE because I live on the island my settlement started.
Even some villages will block roads and tell you Ogun state is on lock down for two weeks and you will have to settle again before you can move.
They also have this security people I have forgotten their name, those ones also need settlement before you can pass otherwise they will block you and call police.
In fact normal police that collect #200 before now insists on #500, soldiers hardly ask for money before but they also collect something before you pass their check point.
No be child's play

oladipuposadeeq:
kufie the man i sight you boss some pple think its child play they dont know what pple go thru but God has been faithful sha.

True Bro, maybe they don't understand what inter state ban means.
Fueling that car alone won't be anything less than 10k.

bishopjoe02:
You are just running your mouth on things you no nothing about,
Fuel is between 8k to 10k if it is an old model car, but any new model car or Jeep/v8 fuel is like 15k to 17k

Each police check point he is suppose to pay between 200 to 500 for ordinary citizen, whether your paper is complete nor not, but since he is a police officer he wouldn't pay this

Custom check point is between 1000 or 2000 depending on the year of the car, he will pay this custom nor send police

Soldier check point is 200 to 500 depending on your negotiation skill, he will also pay this, even though he is a police officer

Police check point from Lagos to abj is between 20 to 30, soldier should b up to six and custom 10 or more.

There will be feeding and transport back to Lagos.

Experience person will charge you between 70k to 100k

If he charges anything less than that he will regret, those ones no know wetin dey happen.
Some settlement na 5k if they wan show you pepper, one was asking me my permit to move around.
Asking who am I to flaunt government order?

ifnyioj22:
na wa for you! 10k from lag to Abj?? Is that for feeding alone? I payed 80k from lag to uyo, he settled his way to uyo..... 10k ke! Tell him not to pay at all!

Those ones don't what they are saying, I charged 65k to Warri just last week.
Transport from Warri back to Lagos thy were calling 10k, imaging how much came back with me.
After everything I was asking myself if it's worth the risk

There must be noodles or spac inside

You better finish what you started, send money for the bed and gas so she can see where those guys will bed her.

maynation:
2 is even worse.
It is wrong to overtake in blind spot areas.
Sharp curves and spots with bends.

I was going to say this, you don't overtake on a bend

H

Fixed:
It is really difficult to judge from hearing just one side of this story.

From what I have read from Vivian (OP), I can only conclude that the husband is unreasonable in thinking and irresponsible in character. I am sorry to say. Apart from even agreeing before getting married to having the children stayed together, it is totally wicked to have your wife begged you for 3 years for anything within your capacity whatsoever. Showing love and appropriate measure of discipline to the boy is all that is required to turn a new leaf. So if the boy was his biological son and he started stealing right under his roof would he have sent him away? Also, why would he sacrifice the comfort and safety of his 2 year old girl to get back at the wife? Only a heartless man does that.

I also sense a lot of arrogance in Vivian's post. There were indications that the man could not tolerate some of these. The 70% part of the story was really not necessary after all you never claimed your husband was lazy. This statement alone could be the reason he constantly makes you feel you should be grateful he married you anytime your action shows you contribute more financially. He simply retaliates. Check this please. The table can turn in his favour tomorrow. This was once my case many years ago but no longer so. My wife handled it so well that nobody knew. If he is not putting in his best, it is better you have a frank talk with him and he will sit up. Do not deride or belittle your husband It is even very inappropriate on the social media.

You did well by bringing your child home. Sometimes, tough decisions are required in certain life situations. You only did what a mother should do. However, you allowed the golden opportunity for settlement with your husband to pass you by immediately you brought the child home. You shouldn't have acted like he can go to hell because you pick the bills. It would have been the golden moment to placate him. No one, man or woman enjoys a bruised ego! We all react to it in different ways just that your husband chose the 'psycho path'. Where both parties in a marriage seek to be the winner in an argument or issues, ego will be bruised. You both have ego issues and you both should admit that.

Also it is totally senseless to make statements such as 'preferring your children over your marriage'. I honestly will feel very sad to hear that from my wife particularly when the children (biological or not) were not there when we started the journey. They will all leave us and go their way and we will still be together. Call me a jealous husband I don't care. So on hearing that, I will only assume that you never married me for love. To put succinctly, I will feel 'used'. I see that as part of the issue the man has with your character. Though I could be wrong, but my interpretation of the situation is that you married him to give a fatherly protection to your children and he has failed to do that. It doesn't really appear like you found love in this man. Forget the 70℅ provision, it will only make the man 'feel used' the more. The love basis is not there. Hence the ease with which he feels like a hero marrying you as a single mother. You made him feel so.

If there is still love, then this marriage has not broken beyond reconciliation the way this thread has painted it. I am also surprised that the solution majority of the ladies on the forum are offering you is to divorce the man. They never asked you why you gave marriage a second trial. They never asked you why you wanted the first two children to have a fatherly care. They do not realise that raising four children by a single mother takes more than having a corner shop. Check out some of MKO's children if it is all about money. Some of the people advising you here are not even married. Needless to say they don't know what it takes to raise four children from two living fathers. None of us will remember this thread 10 or 15 years down the line talk less of asking after you. Sadly not even me. Some even insinuated that your husband could be a pedophile for accepting the girl and denying the boy. But let posterity judge us if this issue is worth escalating to a divorce. As someone said, at the end, we will all log off and move on to the next active thread on front page. Not too long from now, we would have forgotten we gave wrong advice that will negatively define the lives of these children. It is a faceless forum. You will be doing your children great injustice and it will take them time to understand why you had two failed marriages. It is not a good memory for all four to live with. It is not normal. Don't listen to them. They were not there when you married him. Ask how the last person they advised is doing they don't even know. With a 12 year old boy, you are more experienced in marital issues than many of them. Someone here said divorce is like war, all parties sustain lifetime injuries from it. Some injuries manage to heal but leave scars behind. Some injuries are guilts, regrets, unforgiveness, wasted resources and inability to move on.

Whatever his offences are can be talked over. The differences can be resolved amicably if you both choose to understand each other. This marriage can be salvaged. If only you both can subdue your egos a little bit. I wish you could get someone your husband respects to talk sense into him. It is not uncommon for marriages to have challenges and issues. It is both parties' responsibilities to resolve them before they degenerate into crisis. I cannot comprehend why a sensible man will abandon his family. To where and achieve what? So what medal has he now collected? Snatched a toddler away to retaliate and did not even consider the fact that the wife is even pregnant with a second child for him!

It also appears to me that you are not in good terms with your in laws. That is why your sister in law could easily accept the custody of your daughter. Where possible, seek to draw your in laws closer to you. You also don't seem to have your own relatives around you, the more reason why your husband should be your best friend. A lot of men have soft spots, my wife discovered mine long ago and she has used it to her advantage. I really wish I could meet this man to hear his side of the story and also talk some sense into him. He should return back home, swallow his pride and reunite with his family. In case you are here as your loving wife claims, go back and sort things out please. Do not delay 1 minute.

Finally, madam, with your condition the night time is for resting not for swearing and cursing your husband. My father taught me that prayer shapes family and I have found it to be true, well at least for me. I stay focused with my family in prayer. We all share in our challenges and partake of our successes together. We do not trust in our own ability. The Bible says every house is built by some man but he that buildeth all things is God.

You are not bound to take all my advice. Madam pick those that appear reasonable to you, they will still be useful. At the end, ensure you take decisions that will give you peace of mind. But know that every peaceful marriage is worked out through the deliberate efforts of the two parties concerned.

PS: I will not be able to respond to any
post where I am quoted except Vivian's. I am solely responsible for my post and it represents my personal opinion. All typos are regretted please.

Op please take the advice, may God be with you. I was about typing this but you beat me to it.

[quote author=CeterisXVII post=87834318][/quote]It's rather for you

Afromentalist:
I now understand those who say single moms should be avoided at all costs. The husband will never have priority over the child from the other relationship.

I though it was a joke, but we can now see it live and direct. Thank you Ishilove

I pity any man that come into their life, everything is all about the kid they had outside marriage.

CeterisXVII:
You are all shades of daft. All those people advising her to leave the boy are dumb jerks. Should she throw her child on the street, because her husband has refused to let him enter the house?

If that boy grows up to be a criminal tomorrow, because she did not take care of him since she was listening to her husband, you are the same people that would insult her, for not training her son.

Please you people should go and sit down....

And who said he shouldn't bring her boy back? Imaging, you have been here arguing aimlessly. You think it's men and women fight abi?
SMH

crackkhaus:
Leave them...

Most of these females, all they know how to do is destroy, never to build up.
Check their private lives, I bet broken things (family, relationships, friendships) will be littered around them.

A woman came here to seek for ways to get her son back, introduce him into a home she shares with her husband...but instead of encouraging her to find a common ground with the man by all means, wise people blessed with wisdom of the ages had nothing else to contribute except to stoke the flames of discord in her family.

Husband is gone, took daughter along...wise ones are still singing more discord songs.
You really can't create this kind of foólishness in a lab... Lol
It has to come pre-installed.

The kind of wisdom that will bring about nothing else but destruction, separation, burnt bridges, and more problems inside a family... may it always be far from me and those I care about. Amin!

No wonder many of them hardly keep their marriages, bitter women everywhere.
They see it as men and women fight.

Omar09:
You are sick in the head! Your husband has as much right as you do to your kids I mean the ones he had with you. You are now playing victim at what you started.

Well I blame men who give single mothers a chance to talk like they had right. In a saner society, so long as you had children without a man to call yours, whether through divorce or baby mama shit unless death, you do not have right to speak in public. I hope your husband learns his lesson.

Men out there, we do not hate you when we tell you never to marry a single mom. Most of you out there who think it's okay to marry single mom just like me were raised by a single mom. And I will not because mom raised me alone with my dad alive and does not care about me marry a single mom. It just doesn't work. It is better to start with someone on same pace than with someone who's got a head start. It is always their kids before any new man. Hell it's always their kids before their biological father let alone a step dad. My mom never remarried do you know why? It's cause of us! She didn't want us to be with another man as a father! She wanted us to be for her, we were her closure.

To you Vivian, that prayer will backfire if your hands aren't clean, so you better stop it, swallow your pride and call your husband and stop victimizing your husband. He's done nothing wrong. Like you brought your kids into your home without his consent, he's taken his kids without yours. So in a subtle word, FVCK OFF!

Women always claiming victim

Pearl05:
The child was not born out of wedlock. Just that the first marriage didn't work out well.

Was she married in the first place?
Because she doesn't have any means of reaching the husband or the family which is strange if she was properly married.

But this one her marriages are failing like this, I hope it's not her fault.
I wish we will get to hear from the man

obakovich:
I tell her for here oooo. All the women dey advice her to go ahead. She said her son steals, who will leave his daughter and unborn son with a thief
She ought to have begged him at night and explain to him how her son will suffer. After then talk to her son to change his ways. Rather she halla say she dey feed am

The way she was talking I already feel for the man, I said it here.
No need to curse the man ooo, after all she knew it could lead to him leaving

Winneygirl:
It is his daughter too.
When you were talking about "you and your children", did you forget that the child does not belong to you alone?
Why are you crying naked at midnight?
You said you were willing to sacrifice your marriage for your children.
He is willing to sacrifice the marriage for his child too.
You are not the victim here.
He is the victim.
You cannot do as you please just because you earn money.
.
.
You say he is on nairaland. He has been seeing your posts here on nairaland saying that your children are more important than your marriage.
Well, his child is more important than the marriage.
Stop following the wrong advise here on nairaland. Do what you should have done from the onset. Put sentiments aside and call for a meeting.
Communication and compromise.

God bless you for telling her the truth, all those people misleading her will not be there to assist her ooo.
She was forcing everything on the man and expect him to swallow it anyhow, she turned the whole thing to war and it have become war so she should be ready for the consequences.
I always knew the husband will react

franchasng:
you are wrong, women are wired differently.


Women don't see anything wrong in marrying a single father or marrying as second or 3rd wife. Ladies even prefer to marry older men to younger guys.


Ask yourself why don't men agree to marry a woman with husband already and live in same house with her and the first & second husbands

Everyday we read and hear about educated, mature, classy, rich career ladies and also poor, young, vulnerable, broke girls happily marrying men as 2nd or 3rd wives, do we hear or read same about men marrying ladies with husband as 2nd or 3rd husband living together


Women and men are wired to act, think, reason and respond to life issues differently, that is the diversity of human race; don't force men to be like women, and as a woman don't force yourself to be like men or act like men, these are the mistakes modern feminists and gender equality proponents are making today

When they say it's a man's world they beat themselves up, man will always be a man no matter how small he is.

adexpa:
The man agreed to allow your kids at first to achieve his selfishness, he accepted the offer because you are reasonably doing well financially and he needs such a man possibly because he cant fully bear whole family burden. He wouldn't have propose marriage suppose you are not doing well financially. It takes extra grace for man to assume someone else responsibility especially when the owner(ex-husban) is alive.

My advice;
1) Do not bring the boy home by force because the boy will face the same thing he is facing right now from man(he wouldn't love him n he will maltreat him at any chance). If he doesn't send you out, the home will not be perfect anymore because you have disobeyed him and took action by yourself.

2) Talk to him humbly(stupid all this I foot 70% while addressing your man) by making him realise that the boy is your joy and he can alone make you happy by allowing the boy..... Please with him
3) If you have done the above and the man insist, you can suggest to him separation, tell him you want your son and since he disagree, you need alternative. The two of you can talk on how to achieve that, either you have a separate place where he will be visiting or full separation.


The matter require diplomacy and not force.

I wish you the best

This isn't bad, some women have already turned this war at the end they will help her go back to her single state again and they won't be there to suffer or bear the consequences with her.

desireoge:
Go and bring that poor boy today. If your husband comes home and sees him, kneel down with the boy and the other kids and beg him. Make sure you do not pick quarrel with him no matter how he abuses you. Remain loyal and always make efforts to please him as long as the boy is in your house. It's not easy to marry a woman with kids especially when the man doesn't have kids prior to the marriage. He deserves your respect

Nice one, she can't force it on the man

otorks01:
The best thing you can do for your kid is to find the relative of your forgotten husband and take the kids there or you sacrifice your existing marriage and go and take care of your kid, because if you look at the man angle also its not easy taking care of another man child when you are still struggling to take care of yours and you saying that since she pay 70% of the bill that she should leave, i believe you are not married because if you are you will know the woman has a big ego and gigantic pride, if you pay 70% why bring it here and i only pity the husband because there is always two sides to every story ,

Sure, I really pity that man