₦airaland Forum

Do you believe that Denise Richards never fought for custody? Remember she has her own rap sheet including drug problems?

A PREVIOUS WORK acquaintance - got a divorce - her husband got full custody of all 3 kids - the wife was had just graduated from college as a paralegal and she worked - the husband collectively with his family together proved they could care for those children better than the wife.  The judge (white male) agreed - he said it would allow the wife time to get a good job and focus on her career and the judge noted that the wife was solo and would be a single mom.  The judge noted that the husband his mom and his dad were in a better position to care for the child financially, physically and emotionally than the mom.

Her coworkers had to listen to her rantings about the entire sordid matter.

THAT HAPPENED right here in America.

Gender means nothing - it is who can prove their worth in the life of the child and that is real in a COURT OF LAW.

Why was Charlie Sheen having custody of his kids after all he does not have boobs and vajayjay?

My Uncle had a similar issue with his Ex. He went to the US, got the custody of his kid and brought them back to Nigeria.

One thing we must realize is that both parties(Husband and Wife) are not Americans and if they are not separated that child will be brought back to Nigeria citizenship or not.

And the court do not award  child custody based on gender, but on responsibility.

Court does not award custody based on gender. Best interest of the child clause also includes  who has more financial muscle and stability. If the lady in question just finished her MBA, that's not a meal ticket, she has to file for work permit and necessary papers and get a JOB. The court would have to look  at the fact that the man paid over $70K to sponsor his wife and any attempt  to present  the man as someone who is not capable of affording a decent living for his family  would fall flat , because 70K comes under discretionary spending-simply put,  he really had enough to take care of his family. Mind you also the woman is on a student visa which expires after her studies. The future of the kid is Nigeria, not America. Unless the woman has a resident permit.
Best interest of the child consideration.
Is the child going to be unsafe in Nigeria?
Is the child going to be denied education?
Does the child have any medical problems?
Is the mother capable of taking care of the child without any help from Welfare?
Is child's father capable of taking care of the child?
etc

THERE IS NOTHING LIKE UNRESTRICTED 24/7 COURT ACCESS, THE MAN/WOMAN HAS A RIGHT TO HER OWN LIFE, SO ALSO THE CHILD TOO, SO BOTH PARTNERS ARE EXPECTED TO WORK OUT FAVOURABLE ROUTINES BETWEEN BOTH OF THEM. ONE PARTNER GETS THE CHILD WHILST IN SCHOOL, THE OTHER DURING SCHOOL AND SUMMER HOLIDAYS. YOU CAN'T HAVE THE CHILD LIVING IN MICHIGAN THIS MONTH AND NIGERIA THE NEXT, YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A ROCKET SCIENTIST TO FIGURE OUT THE IMPACT OF THIS ON THE CHILD'S EDUCATION, JEEBUS

A court sanctioned access or visitation is better than the one your estranged Naija wife is going to give you, because she would always mess with you, but cannot mess with court ordered visitation.

I don’t mean to interrupt this fascinating conversation, I just want to correct the misconception that’s being brandished around here that the father can just go an “collect” his child just because he is the father.


I think most folks here who are urging him to fight for custody and visitation rights are of the opinion that he has a legal recourse that would take care of his case. I do not know how legal route could mean illegal route
Yes, “best interest of the child” will be used, so is financial capability pendulum which swings in the man’s favour. If the child is on welfare- u know Naija and free everything mentality, it would count against the woman. This man is fighting for two things: custody and visitation, and he CANNOT lose both and CAN lose both if he chooses to do nothing.

Are you acting daft on purpose? Did you not see how long it took for the Dad to get his child back? Does it make sense to you to force him to go through this acrimonuous route and waste years and money he could use for something else? And again, was it not because the boy's Mum died that made it easier for his Dad to get custody of him.

You do not have a balanced view of comparison. It’s either you are blind to facts or daft as you stated. It took the man 5 yrs to get custody of his child for life. You are weighing 5yrs over the rest child’s life on earth? 5 years will be nothing.


And did you not see the numerous part in my posts where I was advocating the OP rather settle things and amicably discuss access and visitation rights in a matured manner with the ex-wife rather than embark on making mountain outta a molehill and flexing unneccesary muscles? Can you read at all or what exactly is your problem

Then again, you are not forming your defense based on what I have written, but based on your emotions. How is fighting to see one’s child flexing of unnecessary muscles? Don’t you know that any visitation or custody that is not court approved or sanctioned could constitute a trespass or illegal abduction if the lady- estranged wife presses for charges? It’s like when a man verbally agrees to amicably settle a child support wahala with his ex-wife, he could still get stung with back pay even the woman got what they agreed that she would as a child support payment. Let the court sanction all your moves.

What does this story relate to the issue on the ground, except you are advising the OP to steal his child too, so a 5-year bitter acrimonuos custody battle can take place, which the Dad only won against the boy's Step-Dad because his Mum unfortunately died during childbirth

You have selective typenesia.

Instead she stayed in her native country, divorced Sean's father, and remarried. The father, David Goldman, began legal efforts to get his son back.

After Bianchi died in 2008 in childbirth, her Brazilian husband, Joao Paulo Lins e Silva, a prominent divorce attorney in Rio de Janeiro, won temporary custody.

I have not advised the OP to steal his own child. How can it be called stealing when he’s using the legal stem to  go about his case?  It seems your hands are doing the typing and you head is doing the thinking after you are done typing. Your contention has been about the legal route and you have used and inserted these words: indiscriminate and steal in the course of this discussion.  The OP does not have the right to be married to the woman against her wish, but he HAS the RIGHT TO see his son and spend time with him. This is what you don’t get because you think that you can win with emotions instead of facts or that in divorce court, the woman would have an absolute right to get anything she wants. NO

In principle, divorce verdict in the US would muster a court scrutiny in Naija, but it's grey area-ish in Naija where things dont work according principle. If the man wants to see his own  flesh and blood, there is a price to pay for that. What if the son grows up to be next Obama? Even without that, he's your child and you are supposed to look for your kids where they may be.


Brazilian granddad in US boy's custody battle dies
By STAN LEHMAN, Associated Press Stan Lehman, Associated Press
56 mins ago

SAO PAULO – The Brazilian grandfather of Sean Goldman, a 10-year-old boy from the U.S. who was the center of a bitter international custody dispute, has died, hospital officials and family members said Tuesday.

Raimundo Carneiro Ribeiro Filho died of lung cancer Monday night at the age of 65, said Lima de Amorim, a spokesman for Rio de Janeiro's Copa D'Or Hospital.

Ribeiro Filho's widow lamented that he never got to see his grandson again after Goldman was returned to his U.S. father in late 2009. Last month, a New Jersey state Superior Court ruling denied the grandparents permission to visit the boy in the United States.

"Because of a cowardly and unjust decision, my husband died with immense sorrow in his soul," Silvana Bianchi told Globo TV's G1 website.

"He never stopped believing that he would see his grandson again," Bianchi said. "The thing he wanted most was to see him for the last time, but that wasn't possible."

Goldman, who was born in the United States, was brought to Brazil in 2004 by his mother, Bruna Bianchi, for what was supposed to be a two-week vacation.

Instead she stayed in her native country, divorced Sean's father, and remarried. The father, David Goldman, began legal efforts to get his son back.

After Bianchi died in 2008 in childbirth, her Brazilian husband, Joao Paulo Lins e Silva, a prominent divorce attorney in Rio de Janeiro, won temporary custody.

Despite numerous court findings in favor of Goldman, Lins e Silva was able to delay relinquishing custody until December 2009, when the Brazilian Supreme Court ordered that Sean be handed over to his father, ending the five-year custody battle.

Father and son were reunited on Christmas Eve and returned to the United States the same day.

David Goldman's Brazilian attorney, Ricardo Zamariola Junior, said by telephone that it was unlikely Sean would be at his grandfather's funeral because it was scheduled for Tuesday afternoon. He did not provide further details.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110322/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/lt_brazil_us_custody_battle/print

Not really wanting to stray into pedantic territory, but we are saying the same thing, the OP can never engage an Attorney to fight for access to his child - and the wife counter this with a divorce suit in the States - without his financial capability and net worth called into play. For him to prove he deserves sole custody, he needs to put his money where his mouth is and this can only be done by opening the books to all the parties interested and show them the money.


U still dont get it on how justice is served.  You are mixing child custody with spousal support.  Judge cannot award investments and property to the woman because the man is asking for custody of his child. Custody will be based on who is in a better position to take care of the child with financial capability playing a deciding role. His financial statements would be tendered, and if he’s granted custody, the child will now live in Naija, but that same court cannot say we require you to give the woman half of net worth. Mind you also that the divorce court always takes into consideration who came in with what into the marriage and who gained more and it seems so far that the lady has benefitted more from this marriage than the man. It's up to Naija court to determine who gets what.



It is if she serves him the divorce papers and he refuses to sign that she either has to come to Nigeria or engage an attorney for around $3000 to force the case to trial.

The  divorce case is going to be Naija vs Naija. Got it? But custody is a US person- the child vs Naija persons? Got it? The judge can award custody because a US person is  involved, but not property and investments in Naija. If that were the case, a lot of Nigerians would go to EU and US where divorce laws are much favorable  and ask courts to dissolve their marriages and award them properties and investments in Nigeria.  Go and read about the Cuban boy- Elian Gonzalez- with regard to custody battle.
There was also a recent case where a Nigerian big shot had divorce his case  tried in UK, the  wife got what they owned in  the UK and the man got what they invested in Nigeria. Also, they both have British citizenship, but in this instance, the woman lives in the US and the man lives in Naija.



Using some of these multi-millionaires and billionaires with properties and assets all over the world as an example, what do you think happens when they are getting a divorce and for example the Court needs to deliberate on how the couple are going to split their penthouse in Monaco and Villa in Italy, is the Judge gonna say because this is not in the US, we can't factor it into the equation 


Are you talking about Naija where it’s not possible to find out how much GEJ is worth let alone ordinary Nigerians? If he’s not a corporate office type, how do you access his net worth?


Why do you think the Private Investigation sector is booming, surely tis not solely because of 'em honeytraps 
Who is going to pay for that-estranged wife? What would PI achieve in Nigeria?

What we are saying here is if he uses indiscriminate force, rather than tact and diplomacy, he will get burnt. Eyan o ki nsare je eko gbigbono (You don't rush to eat hot pap). He might not be required to split his access down the middle, but someone who could afford to educate his wife in a $70,000 university, will be paying the wife a song in child support et al, as long as that wife is still in the States. Haul her a.r.s.e down to Nigeria, and then you can decide what method you wanna employ in killing her softly.

Your illusion of indiscriminate force is a mirage, because the best way to go about it by using US legal system. No one is advocating force here let alone an indiscriminate one. You really don’t understand how things work legally. If the man wins custody, he will not pay child support. If he’s asked to pay child support, he will get unrestricted and court sanctioned visitation in return. In that case, his child may visit and spend holidays in Nigeria. Mind you, he still has to pay for his child’s upbringing with or without divorce. You are not correct on splitting his income because he’s asking for the right to see his kid. JURISDICTION is the key here on a Marriage that was entered into in Nigeria which has a common law like the US.

Have you forgotten this same net worth was what was tendered to the US Embassy to facilitate the wife's study visa

No! U got it wrong. US Embassy does not require your net worth to issue you a visa. You are mistaking bank statements for net worth. The requirement is that you show proof of financial capability to pay for the study within 1 year. This dude resides in Naija, US court doesn’t have jurisdiction to award the woman property and investments in Naija; unless the man has investments in the US.

What made her actions fraudulent? He supported her travel and even claimed to have sponsored it. Does the fact that she no longer wants to be married to him make her fraudulent

The premise of the OP is based on at least getting access to his child.  Outstrip and co said that it would not possible to do. I was responding to a post which said that the wife would win a spousal support if he tried to seek for his son. For the woman to leave the man after she's done with MBA and come to ask for spousal support is not possible given the fact that man has grounds to show the sole reason why entered into the marriage was because she would be sent oversea for her MBA. She had planned on leaving the man once she's done with her MBA even before she travelled to the US.

So back to my argument, the man can see his child in the US if he wants to. Even his estranged wife cannot even stop him. It’s illegal to deny child’s father access to his kid if he has not been certified unfit and there is no restraining order.

'false intention'?

If false intention equals fraud, marriage can be nullified; meaning that it never existed in the first place. Having said that, the man is not likely to be asked to pay for spousal support because the marriage was entered into in  Najia where his net worth is easier to be established. So Michigan court  would not go on such academic exercise, cos any such judicial pronouncements will not have any effect and teeth in Naija.

And this part in bold is the reason why it makes financial sense to just let her go jejely, otherwise apart from the thousands he would have forked out in attorney's fees just to have limited access to his child, he will be paying spousal support for a loooooooooooooooooong time to the ex-wife who will just be using this money to kit out her new boyfriend in the latest designer gear, pay his car note, buy sexy luxury to seduce her boyfriend and serve him breakfast in the bed that the Husband paid for

Nope, the man cannot be ordered to pay spousal support to a lady who entered into a marriage with false intention by US court. This marriage was done in Naija, so seeking for spousal support would be granted by Naija court since the man resides in Naija. However, if he demonstrates enough financial strength, he could be awarded the custody of his child or the court could allow him visitation rights with some child support clause attached, off course, he has to pay for his child's upbringing.

The U.S. is not going to assist an immigrant with welfare benefits or they will be deported.

If the child was born in the US, which the poster said, he's entitled to welfare benefits and cannot be denied because the mom is an immigrant. There is also a legal loophole on her visa that is called Optional Practical Training (OPT) which allows her to get 17-month extension to work and gain US working experience. Within this period, she could get an employer who could help her adjust her work permit status. Here is the kicker: Michigan has one of the highest unemployment rates in the US, so many companies are not hiring. She would have a better chance of being hired, if she had studied sciences, engineering and math, where fewer Americans venture into.MBA programs are flocked by Americans, so she does not stand much chance, unless she graduated on top of her class.

Back to naysayers,
I have a friend who sponsored his wife from undergrad to MBA in the US. His first child was born in the course of her programme. MIND YOU the wife never worked for one day and she lived better than most of her working class friends. Her husband always sent monthly allowee from Naija and life was really easy for the wife. So, this is possible given the fact most Naija men who are financially capable take care of their family.

[b]Irresponsible men at large. I have not seen one responsible married man on NL (we actually have a few) come into this thread yet so I will reserve my comment. Until one of them comes in here and says that they will let their pregnant wife go to a foreign land and in the two years they are gone bag a masters and give birth to a child and at the same time run a small business to keep things going then I will say I must have under estimated the strength of some women. I have had two children in this country with no family near. If my husband was not a hands on dad I would have gone mad. It is hell but the joys of being a mother is the only thing that keeps you going. That woman probably made that phone call to the poster from a psychiatric hospital because the only way she could have had that baby and raised him alone for two years and on top of that pass her classes is if she had to shut down her brain. It is almost not possible. I cannot imagine the hell she had to have gone through. I wish the poster will come here and say I sent her so so and so amount every month. Then I can begin to understand. I am not saying he is evil but I am saying without a doubt in my mind that if he truly put his wife in such an unbelievably difficult situation he really should not be surprised that she is saying bye. You can call her a ho or accuse her of being drawn to the dark side or say that America changed her but even the lowest of lowest of person should see that this man should have manned up for his family. For the females that say she is wrong even from what the husband has said pray that you get the exact same kind of man. Say Amen. This should be a learning experience for the poster. Next time do not stay apart from you wife for a long period of time and do not place demands on your spouse that you would place on yourself.[/b]

You reminded us how shallow you are.  I was hoping for a fact based debate between you and Shy-One, but yours has fallen flat as it is devoid of any common sense and bereft of real practical and tactical ideas. Instead, you ventured into your comfy zone of male bashing. You sound like a person who needs a husband to pay her bills and use his last name. I'm sorry for that "husband" of yours if he's not a fantasy.

You are bereft of your environment-social and legal. You dont know that you dont have absolute rights, but contained rights within a society. You seem not  to know that the law does not give you power to trample over men, simply because you are  a woman. You come off as a woman who is always the "gang leader" of small like-minded female group as a spokesperson with loud mouth and obnoxious character- yet not rounded intellectually to offer any meaningful opinion beyond bedroom and kitchen politics at home. You could be good at heading a woman organization of your local community, but not to offer any meaningful suggestion beyond your scope. “ you type are as  loud as a motor bike, but wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight.”

OP. I don’t know if you have established paternity of your child. Know that the court system will require that, but most importantly, the court can order both of you to go for a paternity test in order to establish who is the baby daddy . Having said that, if your child is on welfare and you have demonstrated that you are financially capable to take care of your child, the court would be helpful in helping you take your child off the welfare system- cos you are saving them money. If you are running a business in Naija, put your CAC, business license, permits all notarized. Have your bank write a letter “To Whom It May Concern’’ clearly stating your relationship with your bank and your financial ability. If you are well travelled, document all the papers. If your woman’s family is with you on this, have them sign an affidavit stating your relationship in clear terms with their daughter. Your own family can do this as well. The law is not ass as  “outstrip” would us to believe.

Sky-One.
Love the you have been dolling out facts without emotions. Folks dont even understand  that  to deny a child's father access to his kid is illegal. Even after divorce, the court awards  custody and visitation rights. The woman in question has not legally divorced her husband; therefore, she cannot claim that the husband does not have any right to look for his child, as long as there is no restraining order from the woman.  The woman has the right to opt out of the marriage, but does not have the right to deny you access to the fruit of that marriage- your child.

Get a good US based lawyer with  some international background. A  good Naija-US lawyer  would be a good asset.  If you are planning on visiting US, fortify yourself with necessary documents like: marriage certificate,financial records (your strength) pictures, call records: Start talking to MTN, Zain, Etitisalat on how to get your call records made to your wife, and email communications etc.

malali@
seriously now

1- a woman has needs other than sending her foodstuff to sell trans atlantic

2-the whole point of being a family is to 'live' together, its not a business venture,if u really love your wife you will follow her to the masters program and hustle for her in the same town

3-in the interim how have you been coping, aahhha!!, na the same thing she self dey do,as you dont have children before she left why do you think she will come back to you, why not masters in nigeria?? you self go marry wife wey dey ambitious pass you!!!

4-man up and stop bitching in this forum,women havent finish, this time around marry the one wey don already get PhD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another silly post blaming the man as the cause of the problem. Do you know much it would take to pay tuition at the said MBA @ ROSS School of Business? more than $70K for tuition alone, not talking about living expenses. If the man paid her tuition and living expenses, how did you think that it would be possible for both of them to travel? If the man stayed at home to make money to support his wife, what wrong has he done?

Mr Chemist<
Sorry to hear your marital wahala with your wife. Ross School of Business- UMICH is really an expensive school to be paid for from Naija. If her visa expires, there is a 1yr window called Graduate Optional Training that could allow her to stay and gain some working exprience. Within this period, she could be hired by a company that could legalise her work status. The kicker here is that her school ROSS, produces one of the most sought after MBA graduates in the world. So her chances of staying in the US are higher

"THATS THE WAY YOURE RECEIVE IMMUNIZATION THATS GETS THE RECESSION I GOT THE MUSCLE OFF MY HUSTLE & FLOW MONEY A ENTREPRENUER WITH WAYS TO GET MORE MONEY SO DONT BE TRIPPING WHENEVER YOU SEE ME THROW MONEY HUH? ITS JUST A LIL BIT OF SHOW MONEY"

What if he wants to the US to find some business opportunities since he's pretty much loaded? If he's that loaded with cash,  he might be looking for business.

This is a WARNING to future husbands and boyfriends: See ye first the KINGDOM of almighty dollars and pounds and everything shall be added unto you. Imagine if the man made more money and made the wife do the dishes and home chores? Free puzzies and tits are sweetest when they uncolonized with no commitments, but lose their taste when they are shopping for commitments.

Go and ask Sir Paul McCartney.

Oh do shut up. For your information, MANY Nigerians DO support PDP for all sorts of reasons, not least because MANY Nigerians have seen their living standards and incomes RISE under the PDP govt. From lecturers to doctors, nurses, and bankers et al. Many Nigerians have actually done WELL under this govt. I know it's hard for you to accept that, but it's the cold hard TRUTH. Now bugger off

Another falsely padded assumptions without facts or another member of the looting council. Looks like your version of "TRUTH" is drawn from the dictionary of Truth written by Abacha, OBJ, Ghaddafi and Mubarak?

Hard to get "I'm no longer into you drift" cos we are so much hung up on SEX

If all the white dudes u dated treated you well, why are u looking back? U gotta do U baby!

OBJ and Bola Ige said this in 1999,11 years later, we are back to square one. It's not going to happen

@verbena.

The government in the USA and UK wouldn't stop this cars from being sold in the UK what would happen is people concerned wouldn't buy.
Can you keep your mouth shut and stop spreading falsehood.

There is a big difference here. Buhari got appointed or promoted into those positions becuase of his military background and also his military friends were in power. What background does he have to be the minister of petroleum other than that his militray pals took over the country and apportioned several lucrative ministries to their cronies? Buhari is a beneficiary of looted Nigeris, so he cannot be exonerated? It's also missing in his resume that he overthrew a democratically elected government. Buhari is part of the cancer that has infected Nigeria. I'd take GEJ's qaulification over Buhari's; cos GEJ got to where he is by hardwork and luck, while Buhari got to where he is today by guns.

Debate is not a must.
Most moronic response ever. Do you know what it means to be seeking for a job? GEJ is an applicant looking for a job, so his failure to appear for an interview for the position he applied for, would mean that he's not ready for the job or someone applied for him without his consent.

Debate is not a must as you said; NEPA is not a must, Employment is not a must, minimum wage is not a must. Living in poverty and misery is A MUST.

I wonder who are GEJ's PR managers? They seem to talk before  they think.

Studying in Naija: Under resourced, over influenced by external environment, let my people go attitude.
Studying abroad: Over resourced, over influenced by in-class environment, you are on your own attitude.
Difference: Most good Naija students can survive studying abroad, while most students abroad cannot survive in Naija.

Dangote and Adenuga, I'm ready to be your 10th Wife. Are you guys still taking applications?

Adenuga is 597 with a net worth of 2 billa

How come there is no Ibo on that list


I guess, like Nigeria, Forbes is discriminating against Ndigbo.


I think the Nigerian consulate in NY should protest. Where is Dora Akunyili when we really need her


We must not stand for this injustice

Delusionary deranged! How have their successes contributed to your success? Truth be told, he is more likely to help Peter Odili's child than you; because you are not in the same league with him.So only speak for yourself