dayokanu:

Nike ma da won lohun jare.

Oya omo gidi wa sun si mi laya

you no sabi am --- wetin happen with choco-choco

Busy_body:


Nike, where did you see her boasting, I was the one that made reference to her banned ID's when this snitch shy-one was threatening to report her like it was a big deal They start what they cannot finish and start buzzing the moderators to bail them out and start spewing shites like "oh someone told me not to respond" like they are 3 years old still in diapers, mscheewwww, arrant nonsense

To be honest, i would have prefered it if you or jenny just reported rather than take matter into your own hands. two wrongs dont make a right. just saying. So could we all move on please, thanks.

Choco is my afesona, Nike is my ololufe, Busybody is my olojuarede, Mukina is my alabasun, Jennykadry is my Loolo, Ifyalways is my "meet-me-for-corner", Outstrip is my "See-me-lale"

adconline:

What does this story relate to the issue on the ground, except you are advising the OP to steal his child too, so a 5-year bitter acrimonuos custody battle can take place, which the Dad only won against the boy's Step-Dad because his Mum unfortunately died during childbirth

You have selective typenesia.

Instead she stayed in her native country, divorced Sean's father, and remarried. The father, David Goldman, began legal efforts to get his son back.

After Bianchi died in 2008 in childbirth, her Brazilian husband, Joao Paulo Lins e Silva, a prominent divorce attorney in Rio de Janeiro, won temporary custody.

I have not advised the OP to steal his own child. How can it be called stealing when he’s using the legal stem to  go about his case?  It seems your hands are doing the typing and you head is doing the thinking after you are done typing. Your contention has been about the legal route and you have used and inserted these words: indiscriminate and steal in the course of this discussion.  The OP does not have the right to be married to the woman against her wish, but he HAS the RIGHT TO see his son and spend time with him. This is what you don’t get because you think that you can win with emotions instead of facts or that in divorce court, the woman would have an absolute right to get anything she wants. NO

Are you acting daft on purpose? Did you not see how long it took for the Dad to get his child back? Does it make sense to you to force him to go through this acrimonuous route and waste years and money he could use for something else? And again, was it not because the boy's Mum died that made it easier for his Dad to get custody of him

And did you not see the numerous part in my posts where I was advocating the OP rather settle things and amicably discuss access and visitation rights in a matured manner with the ex-wife rather than embark on making mountain outta a molehill and flexing unneccesary muscles? Can you read at all or what exactly is your problem






I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE "WE" IN SHY-ONE'S POST CHAI, NO WONDER E DEY PEPPER AM

I guess the Moderator probably deleted the posts would be your excuse

dayokanu:

Nike ma da won lohun jare.

Oya omo gidi wa sun si mi laya

Long time, no o i gats work to be getting on with, thanks for the offer

jennykadry:

reporting to a mod is a waste of time. If standing up for a fellow woman whose innocent kids were insulted makes me a bully then please i'd love to change my user name to bully

Shyone tha k your stars that a mod came to rescue you,if not you for smell ya dirty blokos today

Cow

You are entitled to your opinion at the end of the day.

even if we had reported wetin would have happened?kpatakpata delete her posts and warn against bullying, oti ton. But with the way people came down on her today she'd think twice before involving people's unborn generation

BTW thanks for acknowledging the fact that i am entitled to my opinion.

nike4luv:

To be honest, i would have prefered it if you or jenny just reported rather than take matter into your own hands. two wrongs dont make a right. just saying. So could we all move on please, thanks.

Been on NL over 5 years, sorry I don't roll like that, this is not kindergarten that I have to be disturbing the school Miss that "Shy-one cursed Outstrip's children and husband for no just cause", we are all grown folks here so if she can't take, then she shouldn't dish, simples. And she still had the nerve to say she is standing by what she said

She has learnt her lessons anyway, hence reason she is now flailing and clutching at straws lying and claiming we are abusing the OP And she nor dey let us hear word that na she holy pass, hypocrite oshi




By the way, wey that longwinded meaningless adconline post sef

quote by obowunmi

Well I live there but school else where. U nko ? Are you single ?

Yes I am single but am unavailable

Where do you school?

Shy-One:

quote by obowunmi
Yes I am single but am unavailable

Where do you school?

unavailable as in ?

Are you acting daft on purpose? Did you not see how long it took for the Dad to get his child back? Does it make sense to you to force him to go through this acrimonuous route and waste years and money he could use for something else? And again, was it not because the boy's Mum died that made it easier for his Dad to get custody of him.

You do not have a balanced view of comparison. It’s either you are blind to facts or daft as you stated. It took the man 5 yrs to get custody of his child for life. You are weighing 5yrs over the rest child’s life on earth? 5 years will be nothing.


And did you not see the numerous part in my posts where I was advocating the OP rather settle things and amicably discuss access and visitation rights in a matured manner with the ex-wife rather than embark on making mountain outta a molehill and flexing unneccesary muscles? Can you read at all or what exactly is your problem

Then again, you are not forming your defense based on what I have written, but based on your emotions. How is fighting to see one’s child flexing of unnecessary muscles? Don’t you know that any visitation or custody that is not court approved or sanctioned could constitute a trespass or illegal abduction if the lady- estranged wife presses for charges? It’s like when a man verbally agrees to amicably settle a child support wahala with his ex-wife, he could still get stung with back pay even the woman got what they agreed that she would as a child support payment. Let the court sanction all your moves.

@ Op

Just take necessary legal steps and wait  patiently.

Your case is new to me. Worst cases have been settled.

All you need is patient and effort.

I don’t mean to interrupt this fascinating conversation, I just want to correct the misconception that’s being brandished around here that the father can just go an “collect” his child just because he is the father.  

First of all, except he plans on forging papers or smuggling him in his suitcase, there is no way he can get the child out of the country. He can’t get the child’s passport because the passport office requires BOTH parents to be there or an affidavit from the mother giving her consent.

Secondly for those shouting get international lawyer, that’s all good and nice but remember to tell him how difficult it’s going to be. Having a lawyer does not mean he’ll win because the courts use a “the best interest of the child” criteria to decide custody (men who live in the country, have money and good lawyers have been felled by this criteria, not to talk of a man who will need a map to find the nearest toilet in the US) and in this case, one need not study law to see where the best interest of the child lies. . .
He was born in America,
He’s lived in America all his life,
He’s never spent one day with his father,
He’s known no other parent but his mother
There's no abuse
He's being well cared for. . . and so on and so forth.

I tell ya except the mother is a crack head wacked out on drugs every minute of the day, the father’s chances of getting custody of the child is very slim.

Thirdly assuming the mother will be found morally unfit on the ground of “manner in which she dumped her husband” is completely ludicrous. The courts are not that petty.  . . again, they take real important factors that would SERVE THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD into consideration.

The best bet is for OP to find an amicable solution to the custody matter because that’s about the only thing he has a say in.

The fact that some people think she wrong for wanting to divorce her husband after he sent her to school does not mean she has no legal standing.  Yeah, it’s a sad situation for the OP, no doubt about that but hey. . . life is not a fairy tale (or a nollywood movie) where everyone lives happily ever after, where good things always happen to good people and bad people always get the comeuppance.

@ OP
Do yourself a favor. . . forget all this lawyer or no lawyer talk and try to work something out with your ex. Get your families involved and you both come up with a solid custody arrangement.

I don’t mean to interrupt this fascinating conversation, I just want to correct the misconception that’s being brandished around here that the father can just go an “collect” his child just because he is the father.


I think most folks here who are urging him to fight for custody and visitation rights are of the opinion that he has a legal recourse that would take care of his case. I do not know how legal route could mean illegal route
Yes, “best interest of the child” will be used, so is financial capability pendulum which swings in the man’s favour. If the child is on welfare- u know Naija and free everything mentality, it would count against the woman. This man is fighting for two things: custody and visitation, and he CANNOT lose both and CAN lose both if he chooses to do nothing.

adconline:


U still dont get it on how justice is served.  You are mixing child custody with spousal support.  Judge cannot award investments and property to the woman because the man is asking for custody of his child. Custody will be based on who is in a better position to take care of the child with financial capability playing a deciding role. His financial statements would be tendered, and if he’s granted custody, the child will now live in Naija, but that same court cannot say we require you to give the woman half of net worth. Mind you also that the divorce court always takes into consideration who came in with what into the marriage and who gained more and it seems so far that the lady has benefitted more from this marriage than the man. It's up to Naija court to determine who gets what.

Don't go preaching to me how justice is served cos you don't know nowt about me and i ain't mixing up nothing i ain't like the crass and classless shy-one blowing her trumpet all over how she is this and that, sad pathetic soul that she is And you are the one getting your knickers tangled round your ankles by the way and keep misintepreting my obvious posts written in simple English. I have never mentioned dividing assets anywhere in my post.

1) To provide child support, they would need his proof of earning.
2) To prove he deserves custody, he will need to supply details of his net worth to some extent - prove of income, place where child can stay which will meet up to the standard the child is used to, helps put in place to help the Dad raise the child, the school the child would be attending and the means to afford it, etc

Again i repeat, custody is mainly based on the child's best interest, if Mum is broke, Dad will pay child support and spousal support or vice versa. Remember she is on a student visa and they would not want her to be destitute and fall through the cracks and become a burden on the system, so presented with the man's income, they will be forced to try and get him to stump up till she finds her feet and completes her studies or return to Naija.

And before a child can be sent to Nigeria or a distant place, the Court will make sure the Mum can exercise her Court agreed visitation rights, so for example, if judgement decreed that the Mum should see the child every month, if she cannot afford the airfare and the man cannot afford to be bringing the child every month, the Court would not allow that child go to Nigeria.

adconline:


The  divorce case is going to be Naija vs Naija. Got it? But custody is a US person- the child vs Naija persons? Got it? The judge can award custody because a US person is  involved, but not property and investments in Naija. If that were the case, a lot of Nigerians would go to EU and US where divorce laws are much favorable  and ask courts to dissolve their marriages and award them properties and investments in Nigeria.  Go and read about the Cuban boy- Elian Gonzalez- with regard to custody battle.
There was also a recent case where a Nigerian big shot had divorce his case  tried in UK, the  wife got what they owned in  the UK and the man got what they invested in Nigeria. Also, they both have British citizenship, but in this instance, the woman lives in the US and the man lives in Naija.

O ga o, for the umpteenth time, where in my post did you see me advocating that the woman is entitled to any percentage of his wealth, wasn't my reference to that simply to answer your previous query, o ga o I am just trying to stay on-topic, I hate what the wife is doing and have a few choice words for her, but here is not the time and place

adconline:


Are you talking about Naija where it’s not possible to find out how much GEJ is worth let alone ordinary Nigerians? If he’s not a corporate office type, how do you access his net worth?

Is he going to be mandated to pay child support without his proof of earnings If he does not want the child, that is his business, but the moment he expresses interest, he is expected to start forking out. Have you seen the crude manner in which child maintenance hearing works, YOU WILL WEEP FOR YOUR FELLOW MAN, EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE A HEART THEY BRING OUT A CHALKBOARD LISTING THE MAN'S INCOME AND EXPENDITURE AND STARTS DICTATING WHAT THEY FEEL HE SHOULD SPEND ON FOOD, SOCIALISING, CIGARETTES, ETC, AND WHAT THEY VWANT HIM TO GIVE THE CHILD, THEY DO NOT EVEN MAKE PROVISION FOR THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE SINCE MOVED ON AND HAD OTHER CHILDREN, THEY EXPECT YOUR NEW WIFE TO CATER FOR YOUR OTHER CHILDREN IF YOU CAN'T BECAUSE OF THE AMOUNT YOU ARE GIVING TO YOUR FIRST CHILD, SO WHY WOULD YOU ADVISE SOMEONE TO GO DOWN THIS ROUTE

 
Or why do you think men leave their lucrative business to go working as Minicab drivers and such, transfer their properties to families, etc, to avoid paying child support

adconline:

Who is going to pay for that-estranged wife? What would PI achieve in Nigeria?

Does estranged only mean poor to you PI services too boku for naija, never say never

adconline:


Your illusion of indiscriminate force is a mirage, because the best way to go about it by using US legal system. No one is advocating force here let alone an indiscriminate one. You really don’t understand how things work legally. If the man wins custody, he will not pay child support. If he’s asked to pay child support, he will get unrestricted and court sanctioned visitation in return. In that case, his child may visit and spend holidays in Nigeria. Mind you, he still has to pay for his child’s upbringing with or without divorce. You are not correct on splitting his income because he’s asking for the right to see his kid. JURISDICTION is the key here on a Marriage that was entered into in Nigeria which has a common law like the US.

Going down the legal route will get the lady's heckle raised, afterall she is human, let him try talk to her first or get elders to talk to her. The US legal system like the rest of the system in the world takes forever, or how else do you think these money-grabbing attornies are able to justify their eye-wateringly expensive fees And in this time, the woman can play the system, as you saw in the case you provided. For the OP to prove his wife is in Contempt of Court, he will need to spend further money to get the Courts to call the wife to books. Guess who is losing on both ends here - the man- spending thousands to see his own flesh for a few weekends in a month, or do you think access to the child is split down the middle too like that dingbat shy-one

THERE IS NOTHING LIKE UNRESTRICTED 24/7 COURT ACCESS, THE MAN/WOMAN HAS A RIGHT TO HER OWN LIFE, SO ALSO THE CHILD TOO, SO BOTH PARTNERS ARE EXPECTED TO WORK OUT FAVOURABLE ROUTINES BETWEEN BOTH OF THEM. ONE PARTNER GETS THE CHILD WHILST IN SCHOOL, THE OTHER DURING SCHOOL AND SUMMER HOLIDAYS. YOU CAN'T HAVE THE CHILD LIVING IN MICHIGAN THIS MONTH AND NIGERIA THE NEXT, YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A ROCKET SCIENTIST TO FIGURE OUT THE IMPACT OF THIS ON THE CHILD'S EDUCATION, JEEBUS

So why go through all this rigmarole, when he can  easily resolve things by getting on the woman's good sides, thereby getting access to his kids as and when he wants, as long as his request is reasonable or like I said get the child by all means to Nigeria, and then apply for the full force of the law there which is skewed in favour of the man anyway and give the ex-wife antifreeze or sommat

Polls after polls after polls have revealed that a high percentage of people regret going through the divorce route of engaging lawyers, virtual strangers, and in hindsight, would have gone down the mediation route instead. Once again, my stance is for him to get her down to Naija and get the child off her IF HE IS SURE HE CAN SOLELY LOOK AFTER THE BABY, AND NOT OUT OF SPITE.


Abeg i don tire to dey repeat myself to you over and over and over again jare, na you sabi, make hin go employ Lawyer, na hin be the money miss road, as if she doesn't have people advising her and egging her on too.

Shy-One:

BB
Threatening, running your mouth faster than a sewing machine. "I HAVE BEEN ON NL FOR 5 YEARS." - And

Nasty JK - RIGHT BY BB'S SIDE - I wouldn't claim you if I was at gun point  - YOU ARE REPULSIVE
But you know that - you revel in being the vilest that you can be - watching too many music videos from America - can't TAKE HER MIND OR MOUTH OFF sex - she knows every single position and is SHOOTING IT AT US whether we want to hear it or not.
I have seen some disgusting street women in America but YOU TAKE THE CAKE - you can out disgust the worst of them.  What I find odd is how happy you are about your condition. Do you even want to learn any new words?

-JK BABBLING INCESSANTLY ABOUT AN unborn generation - that was her so-called reason for jumping in the FREY - JUST A FREE FOR ALL - just adding all kinds of silly phrases and running with like a buffoon[/b])  AN UNBORN GENERATION wouldn't choose to be around you.  You are GROSS!!!

Male Customers!  Girllll Can You Get Your Mind Off Sex?  You are Something Else.  Mobo444 Opened A Thread On You - NOW I SEE WHY - I didn't understand it at first - but HE WAS SPOT ON!!!!
 WHAT? THINK AGAIN (2-PAC KADRY)

Bhusayor
The 3rd Musketeer who jumps up and down behind TWEEDLE DEE and TWEEDLE DUM screaming "I hate you" - no real thread contribution of any sort - just sees some smoke and jumps.  That was really brave of you, very creative and showed some initiative.  Come on girls let's triple team her.  

Shy-One Still Stands - looking at the sorry bunch.

SMH

You ve got an unidentified problem!

I m not having any one on one with you cos i dont have the strength ok?

Call me whateva you want to call me, just have it at the back of your mind that it doesnt change a thing about me!

*sits back to enjoy the thread*

bhusayor:

SMH

You ve got an unidentified problem!

I m not having any one on one with you cos i dont have the strength ok?

Call me whateva you want to call me, just have it at the back of your mind that it doesnt change a thing about me!

*sits back to enjoy the thread*

@ Bhusayor

I wouldn't dare change who you are - you just keep on being YOU

I wasn't the one spewing hate AT YOU

The Unidentified Problem is with you.

No you won't have a One-on-One with me

Three-On-One is more up your alley

Bravery at its finest.  You should be quite proud of yourself.

tpiah!:

dont nigerian men also abandon their families in nigeria after travelling abroad, without generating this level of hostility from nlers.


poster, do whatever you have to do but most of all pray more.

if you have the means, visit her in the US and spend some time with her.

sending a pregnant woman alone to the US isnt easy, especially for the woman. They go through a lot and may fall into the wrong hands [ie wrong company], which only complicates matters.

Exactly my point. Nigerian men have been dumping their families within and outside the country since the dawn of time. Yet we don't hear all this burahha and gra gra. Smells of DOUBLE STANDARDS. You would expect some women realise this and put their thinking caps on, . . But I guess they don't know how to.

My Uncle had a similar issue with his Ex. He went to the US, got the custody of his kid and brought them back to Nigeria.

One thing we must realize is that both parties(Husband and Wife) are not Americans and if they are not separated that child will be brought back to Nigeria citizenship or not.

And the court do not award child custody based on gender, but on responsibility.

Both parties are their to prove who is more responsible.

And if the child get to certain age, he can decide who he wants to live with.

Sisi_Kill:

I don’t mean to interrupt this fascinating conversation, I just want to correct the misconception that’s being brandished around here that the father can just go an “collect” his child just because he is the father.  

First of all, except he plans on forging papers or smuggling him in his suitcase, there is no way he can get the child out of the country. He can’t get the child’s passport because the passport office requires BOTH parents to be there or an affidavit from the mother giving her consent.

Secondly for those shouting get international lawyer, that’s all good and nice but remember to tell him how difficult it’s going to be. Having a lawyer does not mean he’ll win because the courts use a “the best interest of the child” criteria to decide custody (men who live in the country, have money and good lawyers have been felled by this criteria, not to talk of a man who will need a map to find the nearest toilet in the US) and in this case, one need not study law to see where the best interest of the child lies. . .
He was born in America,
He’s lived in America all his life,
He’s never spent one day with his father,
He’s known no other parent but his mother
There's no abuse
He's being well cared for. . . and so on and so forth.

I tell ya except the mother is a crack head wacked out on drugs every minute of the day, the father’s chances of getting custody of the child is very slim.

Thirdly assuming the mother will be found morally unfit on the ground of “manner in which she dumped her husband” is completely ludicrous. The courts are not that petty.  . . again, they take real important factors that would SERVE THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD into consideration.

The best bet is for OP to find an amicable solution to the custody matter because that’s about the only thing he has a say in.

The fact that some people think she wrong for wanting to divorce her husband after he sent her to school does not mean she has no legal standing.  Yeah, it’s a sad situation for the OP, no doubt about that but hey. . . life is not a fairy tale (or a nollywood movie) where everyone lives happily ever after, where good things always happen to good people and bad people always get the comeuppance.

@ OP
Do yourself a favor. . . forget all this lawyer or no lawyer talk and try to work something out with your ex. Get your families involved and you both come up with a solid custody arrangement.

Thank you for this post,
Luckily for the woman she has crossed into a country that at least abides by some laws.
People on here seem to forget that it's not like their country where religion and a false sense of morality overrides common sense and the laws of the lands. As Sisi Kill said unless the mother is a strung out drug addict NO ONE is taking her child from her, . even if she was, no court will give the father 100% custody and allow him to move the child to another country.
OP, this poster gave you best advice, starting saving up money for another wife and to send her for MBA . . .maybe UK this time ?

shy-one]
BB
Threatening, running your mouth faster than a sewing machine. "I HAVE BEEN ON NL FOR 5 YEARS." - And
[/quote]


See the height of your joblessness, SMH This was addressed to Nike, and until she comes out to say how she feels this has threatened her, keep your piehole shut and mind ya, and stop trying to kiss her a.r.s.e, so obvious  



[quote author=Sisi_Kill:

I don’t mean to interrupt this fascinating conversation, I just want to correct the misconception that’s being brandished around here that the father can just go an “collect” his child just because he is the father.  

First of all, except he plans on forging papers or smuggling him in his suitcase, there is no way he can get the child out of the country. He can’t get the child’s passport because the passport office requires BOTH parents to be there or an affidavit from the mother giving her consent.

Secondly for those shouting get international lawyer, that’s all good and nice but remember to tell him how difficult it’s going to be. Having a lawyer does not mean he’ll win because the courts use a “the best interest of the child” criteria to decide custody (men who live in the country, have money and good lawyers have been felled by this criteria, not to talk of a man who will need a map to find the nearest toilet in the US) and in this case, one need not study law to see where the best interest of the child lies. . .
He was born in America,
He’s lived in America all his life,
He’s never spent one day with his father,
He’s known no other parent but his mother
There's no abuse
He's being well cared for. . . and so on and so forth.

I tell ya except the mother is a crack head wacked out on drugs every minute of the day, the father’s chances of getting custody of the child is very slim.

Thirdly assuming the mother will be found morally unfit on the ground of “manner in which she dumped her husband” is completely ludicrous. The courts are not that petty.  . . again, they take real important factors that would SERVE THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD into consideration.

The best bet is for OP to find an amicable solution to the custody matter because that’s about the only thing he has a say in.

The fact that some people think she wrong for wanting to divorce her husband after he sent her to school does not mean she has no legal standing.  Yeah, it’s a sad situation for the OP, no doubt about that but hey. . . life is not a fairy tale (or a nollywood movie) where everyone lives happily ever after, where good things always happen to good people and bad people always get the comeuppance.

@ OP
Do yourself a favor. . . forget all this lawyer or no lawyer talk and try to work something out with your ex. Get your families involved and you both come up with a solid custody arrangement.

Thank you Sisthren, phew, i have been screaming myself hoarse about "the best interest of the child" since yonder, no be this Western world we dey where ish like this is unfairly skewed in favour of women Not that I am complaining though God bless Amelikka, God bless Mama Charlie of United Kingdom too

emmatok:

My Uncle had a similar issue with his Ex. He went to the US, got the custody of his kid and brought them back to Nigeria.

One thing we must realize is that both parties(Husband and Wife) are not Americans and if they are not separated that child will be brought back to Nigeria citizenship or not.

And the court do not award  child custody based on gender, but on responsibility.

Both parties are their to prove who is more responsible.

And if the child get to certain age, he can decide who he wants to live with.

A PREVIOUS WORK acquaintance - got a divorce - her husband got full custody of all 3 kids - the wife was had just graduated from college as a paralegal and she worked - the husband collectively with his family together proved they could care for those children better than the wife.  The judge (white male) agreed - he said it would allow the wife time to get a good job and focus on her career and the judge noted that the wife was solo and would be a single mom.  The judge noted that the husband his mom and his dad were in a better position to care for the child financially, physically and emotionally than the mom.

Her coworkers had to listen to her rantings about the entire sordid matter.

THAT HAPPENED right here in America.

Gender means nothing - it is who can prove their worth in the life of the child and that is real in a COURT OF LAW.

THERE IS NOTHING LIKE UNRESTRICTED 24/7 COURT ACCESS, THE MAN/WOMAN HAS A RIGHT TO HER OWN LIFE, SO ALSO THE CHILD TOO, SO BOTH PARTNERS ARE EXPECTED TO WORK OUT FAVOURABLE ROUTINES BETWEEN BOTH OF THEM. ONE PARTNER GETS THE CHILD WHILST IN SCHOOL, THE OTHER DURING SCHOOL AND SUMMER HOLIDAYS. YOU CAN'T HAVE THE CHILD LIVING IN MICHIGAN THIS MONTH AND NIGERIA THE NEXT, YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A ROCKET SCIENTIST TO FIGURE OUT THE IMPACT OF THIS ON THE CHILD'S EDUCATION, JEEBUS

A court sanctioned access or visitation is better than the one your estranged Naija wife is going to give you, because she would always mess with you, but cannot mess with court ordered visitation.

A court sanctioned access or visitation is better than the one your estranged Naija wife is going to give you, because she would always mess with you, but cannot mess with court ordered visitation.

[quote][/quote]

CORRECT

When a custody arrangement is in place, it is legally binding. If one parent violates the terms of this custody agreement, then that parent is in violation of the law. She can be jailed for parental kidnapping and can face a host of other legal problems.

Busy_body:

See the height of your joblessness, SMH This was addressed to Nike, and until she comes out to say how she feels this has threatened her, keep your piehole shut and mind ya, and stop trying to kiss her a.r.s.e, so obvious  

What I won't do is back down from you. My mouth shuts - when you stop addressing me - you and 2 Pac Kadry don't scare me, control me, dictate my intent, words, or meanings.

The one who is stuck to my legs is YOU. Notice that you can't stay away from me. I type to one person - here you come like a viral infection.

.

Busy_body:


Don't go preaching to me how justice is served cos you don't know nowt about me and i ain't mixing up nothing i ain't like the crass and classless shy-one blowing her trumpet all over how she is this and that, sad pathetic soul that she is And you are the one getting your knickers tangled round your ankles by the way and keep misintepreting my obvious posts written in simple English. I have never mentioned dividing assets anywhere in my post.

1) To provide child support, they would need his proof of earning.
2) To prove he deserves custody, he will need to supply details of his net worth to some extent - prove of income, place where child can stay which will meet up to the standard the child is used to, helps put in place to help the Dad raise the child, the school the child would be attending and the means to afford it, etc

Again i repeat, custody is mainly based on the child's best interest, if Mum is broke, Dad will pay child support and spousal support or vice versa. Remember she is on a student visa and they would not want her to be destitute and fall through the cracks and become a burden on the system, so presented with the man's income, they will be forced to try and get him to stump up till she finds her feet and completes her studies or return to Naija.

And before a child can be sent to Nigeria or a distant place, the Court will make sure the Mum can exercise her Court agreed visitation rights, so for example, if judgement decreed that the Mum should see the child every month, if she cannot afford the airfare and the man cannot afford to be bringing the child every month, the Court would not allow that child go to Nigeria.



O ga o, for the umpteenth time, where in my post did you see me advocating that the woman is entitled to any percentage of his wealth, wasn't my reference to that simply to answer your previous query, o ga o I am just trying to stay on-topic, I hate what the wife is doing and have a few choice words for her, but here is not the time and place



Is he going to be mandated to pay child support without his proof of earnings If he does not want the child, that is his business, but the moment he expresses interest, he is expected to start forking out. Have you seen the crude manner in which child maintenance hearing works, YOU WILL WEEP FOR YOUR FELLOW MAN, EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE A HEART THEY BRING OUT A CHALKBOARD LISTING THE MAN'S INCOME AND EXPENDITURE AND STARTS DICTATING WHAT THEY FEEL HE SHOULD SPEND ON FOOD, SOCIALISING, CIGARETTES, ETC, AND WHAT THEY VWANT HIM TO GIVE THE CHILD, THEY DO NOT EVEN MAKE PROVISION FOR THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE SINCE MOVED ON AND HAD OTHER CHILDREN, THEY EXPECT YOUR NEW WIFE TO CATER FOR YOUR OTHER CHILDREN IF YOU CAN'T BECAUSE OF THE AMOUNT YOU ARE GIVING TO YOUR FIRST CHILD, SO WHY WOULD YOU ADVISE SOMEONE TO GO DOWN THIS ROUTE

 
Or why do you think men leave their lucrative business to go working as Minicab drivers and such, transfer their properties to families, etc, to avoid paying child support


Does estranged only mean poor to you PI services too boku for naija, never say never



Going down the legal route will get the lady's heckle raised, afterall she is human, let him try talk to her first or get elders to talk to her. The US legal system like the rest of the system in the world takes forever, or how else do you think these money-grabbing attornies are able to justify their eye-wateringly expensive fees And in this time, the woman can play the system, as you saw in the case you provided. For the OP to prove his wife is in Contempt of Court, he will need to spend further money to get the Courts to call the wife to books. Guess who is losing on both ends here - the man- spending thousands to see his own flesh for a few weekends in a month, or do you think access to the child is split down the middle too like that dingbat shy-one

THERE IS NOTHING LIKE UNRESTRICTED 24/7 COURT ACCESS, THE MAN/WOMAN HAS A RIGHT TO HER OWN LIFE, SO ALSO THE CHILD TOO, SO BOTH PARTNERS ARE EXPECTED TO WORK OUT FAVOURABLE ROUTINES BETWEEN BOTH OF THEM. ONE PARTNER GETS THE CHILD WHILST IN SCHOOL, THE OTHER DURING SCHOOL AND SUMMER HOLIDAYS. YOU CAN'T HAVE THE CHILD LIVING IN MICHIGAN THIS MONTH AND NIGERIA THE NEXT, YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A ROCKET SCIENTIST TO FIGURE OUT THE IMPACT OF THIS ON THE CHILD'S EDUCATION, JEEBUS

So why go through all this rigmarole, when he can  easily resolve things by getting on the woman's good sides, thereby getting access to his kids as and when he wants, as long as his request is reasonable or like I said get the child by all means to Nigeria, and then apply for the full force of the law there which is skewed in favour of the man anyway and give the ex-wife antifreeze or sommat

Polls after polls after polls have revealed that a high percentage of people regret going through the divorce route of engaging lawyers, virtual strangers, and in hindsight, would have gone down the mediation route instead. Once again, my stance is for him to get her down to Naija and get the child off her IF HE IS SURE HE CAN SOLELY LOOK AFTER THE BABY, AND NOT OUT OF SPITE.


Abeg i don tire to dey repeat myself to you over and over and over again jare, na you sabi, make hin go employ Lawyer, na hin be the money miss road, as if she doesn't have people advising her and egging her on too.

makes sense

My Uncle had a similar issue with his Ex. He went to the US, got the custody of his kid and brought them back to Nigeria.

One thing we must realize is that both parties(Husband and Wife) are not Americans and if they are not separated that child will be brought back to Nigeria citizenship or not.

And the court do not award  child custody based on gender, but on responsibility.

Court does not award custody based on gender. Best interest of the child clause also includes  who has more financial muscle and stability. If the lady in question just finished her MBA, that's not a meal ticket, she has to file for work permit and necessary papers and get a JOB. The court would have to look  at the fact that the man paid over $70K to sponsor his wife and any attempt  to present  the man as someone who is not capable of affording a decent living for his family  would fall flat , because 70K comes under discretionary spending-simply put,  he really had enough to take care of his family. Mind you also the woman is on a student visa which expires after her studies. The future of the kid is Nigeria, not America. Unless the woman has a resident permit.
Best interest of the child consideration.
Is the child going to be unsafe in Nigeria?
Is the child going to be denied education?
Does the child have any medical problems?
Is the mother capable of taking care of the child without any help from Welfare?
Is child's father capable of taking care of the child?
etc

quote by Busy_Body

Don't go preaching to me how justice is served cos you don't know nowt about me and i ain't mixing up nothing Undecided i ain't like the crass and classless shy-one blowing her trumpet all over how she is this and that, sad pathetic soul that she is

EPITOME of a crass and class-less person is one who talks as you just did.  A person of Class would have stayed to the points such as adconline.  That is a person of class - while the confusion is floating around him - he is continuing to discuss the topic.

Get a clue - people with class don't call other people class-less.  You don't even know that simple truth.  So any points you make on Legal Matters to the Poster -  I can be assured that the majority of those points are full of holes.

You identified adconline as one who is long winded - throwing a slur his way.  And you call me Class-less.  No training.  None.  Etiquette NOWHERE IN SIGHT.

A PREVIOUS WORK acquaintance - got a divorce - her husband got full custody of all 3 kids - the wife was had just graduated from college as a paralegal and she worked - the husband collectively with his family together proved they could care for those children better than the wife.  The judge (white male) agreed - he said it would allow the wife time to get a good job and focus on her career and the judge noted that the wife was solo and would be a single mom.  The judge noted that the husband his mom and his dad were in a better position to care for the child financially, physically and emotionally than the mom.

Her coworkers had to listen to her rantings about the entire sordid matter.

THAT HAPPENED right here in America.

Gender means nothing - it is who can prove their worth in the life of the child and that is real in a COURT OF LAW.

Why was Charlie Sheen having custody of his kids after all he does not have boobs and vajayjay?

Charlie didn't have custody - i believe he had visitation - Charlie has been struggling since Hugh's suicide drug induced death.

Martin Sheen is Charlie's Dad - Millionaire/Billionaire - Ex Actor - Pulls many strings in Hollywood - Charlie still has the drug problem from the death of a close friend, Hugh O'Connor, Caroll O'Connor's (Archie Bunker) son.

Martin is the reason Charlie had the kids in the first place.  His dad keeps paying off the women for the past 20+ years to keep quiet about the drug and alcohol abuse - it is a slur on the family name.  The women have discussed it.  From his first wife to his second wife to the hooker in the hotel. (recently)

Wowwww

good for him - he did have custody

Martin Sheen bought custody. I'm sure of that one. Denise - Charlie's first wife stated that she was offered money by the dad to NOT GO THROUGH WITH THE DIVORCE - she worked with Martin Sheen for many years but was forced finally into the divorce because of the substance abuse from Charlie.

He is quite a fire cracker.

Do you believe that Denise Richards never fought for custody? Remember she has her own rap sheet including drug problems?