₦airaland Forum

I already have this understanding that there is no perfect marriage,having the notion of a perfect marriage is just a mirage. Fixing the marriage and making things work would have been better but whereas your partner is not ready or willing to make this work again, you have no other choice than to opt out and move on. There is no angel or perfect person so expecting perfection is delusional.

calabaman:
Hello op,

I think you answered your question.

Truth is no marriage is perfect as both of you are from different backgrounds and would have different opinions on issues.

I would recommend fixing your marriage.

Top of the day to my nairalanders fam, compliment of the seasons and may we all see the coming New year. The year has been a difficult one but we pray next year will be favourable.

My question is for people who are divorced and who got married for the 2nd time, do you regret divorcing the 1st and wished you tried to fix the first marriage? What advice do you give for people who want to divorce and remarry? I asked this question because am thinking of moving on after collapse of my previous marriage and every attempt to make it work. I just want to know if trying marriage again the second time worth it or one should just be single as a man and enjoy what life throws at you.

All contributions are welcomed from both male and female especially from people that have pass through this ordeal to share their experiences and advice. This will definitely help me to navigate this stage of life I am in now and others.

Top of the day to you all and compliment of the season.We will all witness the new year coming. pls house, I need advice and opinion especially from single fathers either divorced, widowed. I have been separated from my wife for 2 years now and my two daughters age 8 and 7yrs had been with my ex wife ever since. It has gotten to the stage that she is now using the kids to get back at me by denying me access to them and also manipulate me, the greatest mistake I made was letting her took my kids away cos at that time I was emotionally down due to what lead to us separating and couldn't make a sound judgement at the moment.

Now my decision now is that I want to take custody of my daughters, for now I have my mom with me and also myself to take care of them while they are with me, all I just need is what are the prons and cons of being a single father and taking care of your kids as the man alone. what challenging's will I face in doing this so I can prepare my mind mentally and psychologically for the challenge ahead. Though I prefer the kids being with their mom and I take responsibility but the fact that she is using them to get back at me is annoying and frustrating reason why I want to make this move now so am going to be free from her manipulation.

Pls experienced single fathers raising their kids alone, which is better, letting the kids be with her while she use them as bait to get back at me or I should take their custody and raise them myself. I want them to finish up this school term and make the move. Your input and advice will be valuable and appreciated and pls if you don't have anything valuable to say or to criticize as some does here, kindly ignore and move. Pls mod, kindly move to FP for wider view and inputs

Top of the day to you all and compliment of the season.We will all witness the new year coming. pls house, I need advice and opinion especially from single fathers either divorced, widowed. I have been separated from my wife for 2 years now and my two daughters age 8 and 7yrs had been with my ex wife ever since. It has gotten to the stage that she is now using the kids to get back at me by denying me access to them and also manipulate me, the greatest mistake I made was letting her took my kids away cos at that time I was emotionally down due to what lead to us separating and couldn't make a sound judgement at the moment.

Now my decision now is that I want to take custody of my daughters, for now I have my mom with me and also myself to take care of them while they are with me, all I just need is what are the prons and cons of being a single father and taking care of your kids as the man alone. what challenging's will I face in doing this so I can prepare my mind mentally and psychologically for the challenge ahead. Though I prefer the kids being with their mom and I take responsibility but the fact that she is using them to get back at me is annoying and frustrating reason why I want to make this move now so am going to be free from her manipulation.

Pls experienced single fathers raising their kids alone, which is better, letting the kids be with her while she use them as bait to get back at me or I should take their custody and raise them myself. I want them to finish up this school term and make the move. Your input and advice will be valuable and appreciated and pls if you don't have anything valuable to say or to criticize as some does here, kindly ignore and move. Pls mod, kindly move to FP for wider view and inputs

Have thought about this route but just want to be patient enough so it won't have any negative impact reason why I want to sort it out of court for now and the court will be my last bet when all efforts have proved abortive.

AlphaNugget:
Go to court and file for dissolution of marriage, you should pray the court for sole custodianship of your kids.

Start by informing a lawyer.

I married her traditional and all rites where done.

STARGREEN:
Man cannot marry a woman alone with the family, elders of both families.

Unless you didn't marry her. If you married her according to their custom and tradition, I think it's best to involve family and elders.

Kindly seek for meeting of both families and sort it out.

Most times, young families pass through this phase to build a stronger link, you shall overcome.


You are becoming a man (figuratively)

I know the city they stay but not the exact address. They moved t that location few months after our separation and it's been more than 2yrs now. All efforts for them to send me the address have prove abortive .

docdes:
From this, I can understand that you don't even know where your wife's parents reside. Is that true? Your honest answer to this question will help me to help you better. Thanks.

Happy Sunday to my nairalanders family, top of the day to you all and compliment of the season.

I need to know from experience men that have been through these and how they were able to navigate through this situation to cheap in their advice on how to make me deal with this situation and presently on.

What's the best and wise way to deal in situations whereby you got separated from your wife for years and because of that, she have been denying you access to be in the life of the kids despite all your intentions, you doesn't allow it. Presently I don't know the exact location of where my kids are right now and can't even speak to them. I am aware those kids are with her parents and anytime I call them, they refuse to pick my calls, I informed her to give me the address of their location but till now,she has refused to give me the address, I told her to give me the name and details of the school they attend but she said she doesn't know, maybe she feels I want to take the children away from her reason she is doing all these. I told her I can pay for school fee of the kids when I don't even have idea of the school they attend. This has really being an issue for me cos she knows I love those kids and reason why she is using them to manipulate me emotionally. Now am at the verge of just moving on and forget about those kids and start a fresh but I don't know if this is going to be a good idea. I want to take custody of the two girls age between 8 and 7 and don't know how to go about it. It's really draining me up and needs men that have been in this situation and how they sort things out.

Should I seek to take custody of the kids and what are the challenges of having kids custody as a man, despite the fact that I want to co-parenting, she is trying to frustrate me doing that. Pls matured and experience people, kindly advice on how to navigate, this issue have linger for long and just need a final solution to this, am making underground finding to know the location of where the kids are in her parents place and am going there, to pick up those kids but just want to be sure am doing the right thing.

I understand how you feel op cos have been in this situation before. My advice is start your family, don't leave the house but start your home there, it will reduce the closeness and it will be your woman that will be keeping her company. Mama just need someone to always talk to and it's good for her wellbeing at that age. Don't leave the house and go rent house o cos getting an apartment now is dam expensive, just stay there and start your life. You all gonna be fine walai

I can see this op is still a boy and not a man, if you know women better, you will know they are hypergamous and have an insatiable desires. As a man you peace start when you realize you cannot satisfy a woman, if you try all your best to satisfy her, you will still end up to be disappointed. They themselves are confused and don't know what they want. No matter what you do to satisfy her, a woman that will cheat will cheat. A woman that can leave a man that bought her a car and go with a man that fix the car on the road when broken down. That's their nature

I once have sane situation with a sister, she sent me a breakdown of school fees of her daughter that I should pick the one I will be sorting. I was like what the hell is this, till this very moment, I never respond to that msg. So annoying like the pikin no get paper.

I need to buttress some point here. Yes I never caught her red handed having sex but I caught her having an affair with another man. They already start exchanging things in Whatsapp, she was already in love with the said guy that she told him she loves him. In one of their conversations, I presume they have met in person but they never discussed what they did together. Are all these not enough reason for cheating. Must I caught a man on her before I know she is cheating cos I don't understand what you are saying. Can you take it when your lawful wedded wife is giving another man attention. A woman you are taking good care of and giving her all she needed be in material physical and emotional. You don't expect me to continue with such trait of disloyalness

GloriousGbola:
I no dey. You can see the guy is requalifying his original stories. Before he accused his wife of infidelity, now he is saying it was emotional infidelity. Tomorrow he may say she was chatting with a work colleague on WhatsApp.

With that alone, nothing he says can be taken seriously as he his simply packaging himself as the blameless victim in this saga.

The original story is the husband with a wife who got a job and then started fking around. Now it is husband with wife who was chatting on WhatsApp.

What new variations will we hear about the family? Maybe he will say the dad actually lent him money.

Las Las this is a long game engagement exercise

Thank you for this input.. it's well appreciated and will work accordingly

LandMann:
If you must forgive your wife then do so only if you believe you can handle any reoccurrence of her past behaviour in future. And make sure you write your will before she comes into your home again. Make plans for your kids.

Personally I doubt if she has not cheated while you guys were separated. If you want to be sure, tell her she'll need to swear with juju that she never did such and will never do such otherwise the consequences will be on her head alone.

Plan your life and plan for the future of your kids, especially their education, from now on. Your kids are not supposed to be living with anyone else apart from you cos they need your guidance and leadership in their lives. It is the height of irresponsibility to allow your kids live with someone else while you are alive and well and can cater for them.

You don't necessarily need that woman anymore before you can raise your kids properly under your roof. But if you must take her back, prepare for the worst case scenario.

And one last thing, go do DNA test on those kids or be sure they're really yours

You have a salient point. Could you imagine it took her two years before she ask for forgiveness, all this while, she was been boastful, am sure she has seen the street and knows how brutal the street is reason why she is looking for ways to come back. All this while she was lieing against me that it was domestic violence that made her to leave the house and she never mentioned what she did to anybody. This are the reason why am doubting her genuinty cos she has proven to me the kind of woman she was for the 7years we leave together.

pryme:
There are no solutions here. only trade offs:
be with the mother of your children so it makes raising them a bit easier for you,
or
be with a dubious woman that can never be trusted. Am calling her dubious, if she was really sorry about what she did, it wont have taken her 2 years to come to terms with what she has done - because she is not stupid. Every action was well thought out, its just that things did not turn out how she planned it.

As for your kids you MUST find time and share in their life, you MUST have days with them, at some point you have to let them in why you are no longer with their mum, Kids grow faster than you think, you MUST be transparent with them - at some point.

My advice? move on with your life cos the stakes on this gamble is why too high.
Yes she is sorry but she has shown you WHO SHE IS.

Yes we are separated but the bride price is yet to be returned back to us and my kids still with her, some people said so far my kids is still with her, I can't request for the bride price unless the kids has been released to me. Pls house ,what's the procedure of annulment of traditional marriage cos Incase this had been done, I won't be in this back and forth with her and would have moved on since

Crestaria:
Please what is the difference between separation and divorce. Because I don't understand. Marriage of these days sef. Hmmm

Yes that what I want to do cos she is using the kids to get back to me knowing fully well I love them and pls anyone in the house, what is the process of divorcing when you married traditionally and not legally, in our heated conversation, I told her that her family should refund back the bride price and she requested for my account number but I know stuff like this should be done by both families

MondayOmoAdugbo:
Collect your kids
Collect your kids
Collect your kids


How many times did I say that?

One more time, collect your kids...

🤐


⛷️

Good morning and happy Sunday to my nairalanders fam and happy new month.
I know so many of you will have clue about my history here and my stories, if you don't, kindly check through my profile. This forum have helped me to navigate some difficult situation especially on marriage, even though I still get bashed and insulted, I can tell that I still get genuine advice from matured and experienced people here. It's all about taking the wheat from the shaft.

I and my wife had been separated for almost 2yrs and reason was that I saw some chat on her phone that she was having emotional affair with another man under my roof, I sent her away due to this and have been leaving my life since then, the kids have been with her and have been taking responsibility over them, recently she took my kids to her parents without my approval due to her traveling for months and now that she is back from the official trip, she had refused to pick the kids from her parents place to start living with her, that was the recent issue we both had and up till now, the kids still stay with her parents instead of her.

I have tend to move on concerning this matter and we have already had an agreement concerning the kids welfare and the rest. They are just 7 and 6yrs.

I married traditionally and ever since we separated, there had not been any formal divorce and the bride price is yet to be returned. Now it happens that I and my wife started chatting back on Whatsapp and my reason for allowing this was to know the situation of my kids and to keep track on them, but in those chat with her, I could see some form of remorseful from her and some calmness from her to the extent that she pleaded that I should forgive her for all the wrong she had done to me . I was surprised to see all this write up from her cos I never expected her to apologize cos of her over bloated ego. In her write up, it seems she want us to resolve our differences and come back together as family but I wasn't buying that.

Now my question is to matured and experienced men that have gone through this particular situation of separation from you ex wife, does it worth it given such woman a second chance knowing what lead to the breakdown of the marriage, she had an emotional affair but didn't caught her having sex though, is it worth forgiving her and taking her back, I just want to be sure I won't regret these cos I don't know her true intentions, we have been separated for two years now and I asked her if she have had any sexual encounters during those period, she told me she never dated or had any sex during our period of separation, I am finding it difficult to believe that, how can a woman that was once married and separated not feel the urge to have sex for almost two years. Pls experienced
married women in the house, is it possible for a woman to keep herself that long, I am assuming she is just using that to make me feel good about taking her back.

TBH, I still care about my kids cos they are my focus now and if I will be doing this, it will be for my daughters cos they have really been through alot during this separation, they have been staying with their grand parents and only God knows what they are passing through there.

I just want to know if it worth it given the marriage a second chance again despite everything that occurred or I should just move on with my life and forget about her and just take responsibility over my kids cos I don't want to regret this move, pls men that have gone through something like this scenario, kindly share some advice and tips on how to navigate through this situation. I know I will be bashed by some but will still appreciate honest opinion and advice from both gender and especially from experienced ones. As it is been said, the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know . Pls all advice will be welcomed and well appreciated.

Good morning and happy Sunday to my nairalanders fam and happy new month.
I know so many of you will have clue about my history here and my stories, if you don't, kindly check through my profile. This forum have helped me to navigate some difficult situation especially on marriage, even though I still get bashed and insulted, I can tell that I still get genuine advice from matured and experienced people here. It's all about taking the wheat from the shaft.

I and my wife had been separated for almost 2yrs and reason was that I saw some chat on her phone that she was having emotional affair with another man under my roof, I sent her away due to this and have been leaving my life since then, the kids have been with her and have been taking responsibility over them, recently she took my kids to her parents without my approval due to her traveling for months and now that she is back from the official trip, she had refused to pick the kids from her parents place to start living with her, that was the recent issue we both had and up till now, the kids still stay with her parents instead of her.

I have tend to move on concerning this matter and we have already had an agreement concerning the kids welfare and the rest. They are just 7 and 6yrs.


I married traditionally and ever since we separated, there had not been any formal divorce and the bride price is yet to be returned. Now it happens that I and my wife started chatting back on Whatsapp and my reason for allowing this was to know the situation of my kids and to keep track on them, but in those chat with her, I could see some form of remorseful from her and some calmness from her to the extent that she pleaded that I should forgive her for all the wrong she had done to me . I was surprised to see all this write up from her cos I never expected her to apologize cos of her over bloated ego. In her write up, it seems she want us to resolve our differences and come back together as family but I wasn't buying that.

Now my question is to matured and experienced men that have gone through this particular situation of separation from you ex wife, does it worth it given such woman a second chance knowing what lead to the breakdown of the marriage, she had an emotional affair but didn't caught her having sex though, is it worth forgiving her and taking her back, I just want to be sure I won't regret these cos I don't know her true intentions, we have been separated for two years now and I asked her if she have had any sexual encounters during those period, she told me she never dated or had any sex during our period of separation, I am finding it difficult to believe that, how can a woman that was once married and separated not feel the urge to have sex for almost two years. Pls experienced
married women in the house, is it possible for a woman to keep herself that long, I am assuming she is just using that to make me feel good about taking her back.

TBH, I still care about my kids cos they are my focus now and if I will be doing this, it will be for my daughters cos they have really been through alot during this separation, they have been staying with their grand parents and only God knows what they are passing through there.

I just want to know if it worth it given the marriage a second chance again despite everything that occurred or I should just move on with my life and forget about her and just take responsibility over my kids cos I don't want to regret this move, pls men that have gone through something like this scenario, kindly share some advice and tips on how to navigate through this situation. I know I will be bashed by some but will still appreciate honest opinion and advice from both gender and especially from experienced ones. As it is been said, the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know . Pls all advice will be welcomed and well appreciated.

Thank you for this, it will go a long way and help me navigate the situation. You sound matured and experience

femmoy:
Feel sorry for you brother. Please stop responding to the girls on this platform cos they're all the same, they're serial cheats that use kids to manipulate men (typical Nigerian girls).
I gave up on them all a long time ago when I understood that they're good for nothing but to f*ck and move on.
I'll advise you from experience to totally forget her and move on,I know its hard to forget about the kids but critically thinking the kid(s) might not be yours cos the mother is a cheat.
When you totally blank her and forget she exists,a time will come when she'll come looking for you, except you're not the biological father.

Life is too short to worry about anyone,just be strong and make yourself happy again and leave all these hoes spilling nonsense.

They have already done that and as it is now, I don't fuc.king care no more. Whatsoever they want to do, let them do it. We wait for the future and she herself will regret everything she is doing now. I have records and evidence of everything and they have all been archived. When the kids grow and look for their father, I will be their to give my own explanation to the. She thinks she is doing me, she is doing herself

cococandy:
Honey I’m not surprised. I wasn’t expecting you to say otherwise.
In 5 years you’ll come and tell us how they turned your kid against you. Na today.🙄

So you have a problem me taking my kids to my mom and sister but you don't have issues her taking the kids to her own father and her step mom . You women just need to up your senses. You women will want to eat your cake and have it. I don't have issues with child support, but kids I can't talk to or have access to, I will never pay any child support for such.. I am not foolish and not a simp.

pocohantas:
Gbam! No matter how you explain CHILD SUPPORT to them, they INTENTIONALLY refuse to get it. All because they have no access to the mum. Even primary custody, when they fight for the kids, it is to PUNISH the mum. This OP intended fighting for custody - go check his threads. He clearly stated he would handover the upbringing to his mum and sister. It is right there in his past thread! It is always one woman or the other. He can't do it alone either. Yet they open mouth waaa to ask what women bring to the table.

You can say whatsoever you want to say. For me to want to reconcile with a cheats is nothing but because I want those kids future to be guaranteed. If to reconcile with her will give the kids that, maybe I won't mind but as it is now, I have cancel that reconcile part and I don't care what happens henceforth. I am dealing with a useless, slothful and irresponsible woman that is dumb and foolish. I will leave her to her ruins and whatsoever she what's her life and the kids life to be. Yes I moved on and I have the right to do that as a man. What do you expect a man that his wife committed adultery to do. Yes I complained about the women I met and why should that be a problem, should I condone rubbish character from women because I want to be with them. You don't have a point neither a day. I never find it difficult to move on, I have done that but am doing this because of those kids, they shouldn't suffer for all this. ... .

pocohantas:
They only love the kids for as much as they love the mother. That is why a man can abandon his biological kids, fall in love with another woman with kids and take care of them.

When women understand this, they will know to have as much as they can handle if push comes to shove, because once they are scorned, they will PUNISH YOU WITH THOSE KIDS.

This OP has been parading his young ex-virgin gf. He was convinced it would be easy for him to move on as a MALE divorcee. It obviously didn't work out as his young gf started to show him shege. Now he is in pains and trying to wizard-hunt his ex-wife. I love that she is applying pressure on his ego.

Look at him running mouth. Someone that entered a relationship in 2 weeks just because he couldn't keep up with his basic house chores. Yet he is raising the roof over his ex-wife needing help. I thought he claimed he is buoyant? GenZs never show am shege. Na just Round 1 be this. When they are done with him, he would beg his supposed cheating ex-wife. 😂

Thank you.. I believe they are still sensible people here and not those that think with their anus. If he is a good father, he would have advice his daughter to call me before bringing the kids down to him. He has no right over my kids and can't make decisions over them. He is just a useless grandfather. Which grandfather ask for refunds on money he spent on his grand kids. That family I married from are cursed and I regretted I married from such unfortunate family

BigYash:
Them the so called grandpa should not complain of the money he spent on the kids,since the kids doesn't belong to him alone. The so called grandpa telling him to pay for taking care of his grandkids show the kind of greedy and stupid home or family op married from. Make una dey run deep check before una marry ,una go say no. See the home of devils you married from now.. I pray your kids doesn't end up with the kind of mind their grandpa and mother possess.

Am not like your baby father or the father that gave birth to you that are all deadbeat. I am a real man and a responsible one to the core. If I don't care about my kids, I won't make all this efforts am making on them. Have sense pls

verminnel:
Deadbeats!!!

She has right to take them their own my consent or approval. She took them their for months and not just a regular visit... Months and you think the right thing to do is not to inform me for doing that untop of kids am taking responsibility on . Pls say something else abeg

1Sharon:
That place is their grandparents house and she has every right to take them there. Do the kids only belong to him?

I will never settle any bill or payment. I never approved her taking those kids there and will never give him a dime. If he wants to keep them ,let him keep them and keep feeding them, when the right time comes, na him go beg me to come and carry my kids. They are just been foolish and stupid. A dime will not come from my pocket even though I can afford to give him but I won't do that.

cococandy:
Are you interested in being the primary parent? That’s an option you can explore. She can leave the kids with you (as soon as you settle what the old man spent) and take the kids since they are now too much for her to handle full time.

You are deluded. Am not at loss and will never be, am a man and if I want kids now, I will get another. She is the one that will loss cos with all her stress on those kids, when they grow older, they will look for their father and by then, the truth will be waiting for them, it will be all her loss. Am doing all these cos am a responsible man and want to do what am expected to do as a father to my kids. Most men won't even bothered about them and will move on, but am doing this cos I want to do the right thing. With what she did, it's enough reason for me to abandon those kids and move on but despite that, am still looking back and not considering her stupidity.

Esthered:
You can imagine who's at loss and seeking for help now.
🥲

She left my place almost two years now and have been taking responsibility of those kids since then, her family members all together are one useless and irresponsible family and they have been the one infiltrating the marriage and been that she is stupid and dut,she listen to all what they tell her, the disrespect has been too much. How will you take my kids to your father's place without informing me or taking my consent for kids we both had together and not that am not responsible for them, it shows her father has say over my own kids than me their biological father, so if that's the case let him do what father's are meant to do by taking responsibility. Could you imagine they block me and my family members and couldn't reach them, they refuse to give me address of their location, so how do you expect me to take responsibility for kids I can't talk to or see. You all should be reasonable and understand better

Neptunium:
You love them and that's why you stopped sending money for their upkeep and school fees. That's love to you? You're the definition of all talk, choo choo choo, but one sense you don't make. Love na action verb, last I checked. You should never punish your kids because of whatever's happening between you and your ex-wife.

When she move them to her grandparents place, I was able to talk to the kids on e and ever since then, they stop picking my calls and had to stop and waited until when my ex comes back from her course so I can face her directly. I requested for the address of where my inlaws stays now cos they move to a new location and didn't get to visit them before I separated with my wife. There was no way I could go pick them up cos I don't know the address location and when I requested for it, they stop picking my calls. So how are all these my fault has you all have labelled me the bad one here.i called them again yesterday and they didn't pick my calls. Even my ex blocked me and my mom aswell and couldn't reach her. It was one of her number I got to reach her. So if you all blame me, you all don't know the kind of demon am dealing with as an ex wife

descarado:
So since June, you never ring your wife to know how the kids are doing?
Who do you this thing?

All I see is a very self entitled man.

Wifey is regretting you moved on
She want to usethe kids as bargaining chips yet since she came back, she didn't bother calling you to pay up
And you think she hasn't moved on.


You sounded very jealous. Really jealous, petty and so full of yourself.

We are yet to hear from your so called cheating wife.
And if you are so right, your family would have stood by you but you are giving reasons why your family don't want to get involved yet.
Your kids are with their grandparents abi you think the kids belong to your family only?


You have no case. Your lawyer will ask you to pay up
Since you are a working man, children that age usually stays with mum
And you must provide monthly financial upkeep.
Then you have visiting hours in a week you must adhere to.
That's the simplest of it

My kids will never suffered in my hands cos I love them . She knows I love the kids so much reason why she is trying to use them to manipulate me.

Neptunium:
Good point. The kids will suffer in his hands. The wife and her parents should have the sense to not release them to him

Your level of stupidity has beclouded your reasoning and exchanging words with you here is a waste of time. I wish all the male in your family and lineage to go through what I went through ok cos it's easier for you to open your mouth and spew dust

Mom007:
Ogbeni shut it with your bla bla bla talk. If e too pain you, go and collect your kids and take care of them yourself. And make sure you don't take them to your own parents while you go to work o... and don't get a nanny. You must bathe them, cook and clean up after them, wash their clothes, do school run etc all while you hold your 9 to 5 job. Sauce for the goose must be sauce for the gander after all!Failure to do all these things means you shut up and keep sending money for your children's upkeep.
Yen yen yen, na she go suffer am! Dead beat dad's like you have only one card to play which is withholding money. E too pain you say after you played your last card, she refused to be bothered that's why you came here to cry.
No one said you should go back to a cheating wife but if you can't play your part in raising your children, the only part which anyone really expects from a double standard hypocrite like you than shut up abeg and watch their grandpa be a better father to them than you will ever be.

Am not surprised cos you women will always say the opposite when you are see the real deal. The days women uses kids to manipulate men are over. She can keep them for all I care. I have evidence for of how everything went and a day is coming when the truth shall be revealed. If this sounds cool to you, I wish all the male in you family what I went through in this woman hand.

Sandralight:
So you didn't pay your children fees and feeding for 10 months because you are angry with the mother, so where was she supposed to keep the children when she is going for a course outside Lagos because it's obvious you are not an option, because if you care so much about your kids you would have gone to your in-law house to collect them and let them stay with you but you choose to punish them because the mother disrespected you.

I am even sure you haven't even seen your kids for 10 months or even talk to them, all I am getting is you trying to control your ex with the kids and getting pissed off she has a support system and doesn't even need your money.

If you want your kids so much, pay your in-law the money, maybe negotiate to pay small small, move them to stay with you or you can be bringing them every weekend, I am sure they are fine in their grandparents house, for the grandparents to pay their school fees and all means he is a kind man