₦airaland Forum

Pls just shot the hell up. You don't know what transpires but you already start judging. I don't blame you, it's either you are a single mother that is pained and using that to get back at me. You women believe you can always behave stupidly and get away with it. Someone took my kids to where I didnt approved. You didn't read the part I said I was taking responsibility of them before this situation. Pls just leave emotion and think logically. If she wants to have the kids, let her have them. Na she go suffer am

Mom007:
You are not serious. You don't want them but you want her to want them. Is that not double standard? If she says she cannot cope as a single parent with them and still be working, then what stops you from going for them? Because you know you cannot cope either but instead of humbling yourself and providing for your children regardless of your differences with the mom, you chicken out and think you are in any position to have a say on where and how they are raised. A roof over their head, u no provide. Upkeep nko, nothing like that. You don't even want them with you! So in what way are you a father to those kids? Is it the 5minutes role you played in their conception that you think qualifies you to answer 'father'? Again, you are not serious. Take your case anywhere, you will not only loose but be forced to resume paying upkeep although I don't know why you have to wait for someone to force you. Mini man!

You are a woman so you will never understand my point. Am not trying to take custody of the kids, but they should stay with either the mom or dad. I won't pay any money to the father cos I never approved or permit her taking them there .. I won't want her to push me to forget about those kids and move on. I will count my loss and move on

LilMissFavvy:
You think you can take care of two young daughters as a single man? No, you cannot. They are better off staying with Grandpa/wife.
Your ex wife informed you about the kids whereabouts after she had taken them to Grandpa's house, so what? She at least informed you. Then you stopped paying school fees/feeding, you thought they will die cry and beg you, but grandpa stood up and took responsibility, now you are back complaining. Grandpa told you to return all expenses before he will release the kids to you or mother, yet you are still here arguing. Even if Grandpa says you should pay 2million, then be ready to cough out that amount, you can never win the case in court because you stopped paying for their upkeep.

We married traditionally and no court wedding, we have not divorced yet but separated for almost two years .

Flows001:
Was there an official divorce?

If yes, then how and with whom did the court confer the custody of the children?

If no, then you need to first of all ascertain that those kids are TRULY YOURS!.

With the way your ex wife has been acting and the fact that she cheated on you so, she probably knows the truth as to whether or not those kids are yours.

You need to be very sure about the kids before taking any further step.

If they are truly yours and there is no order of court regarding the custody of those kids, then you can report the matter to the Police, as it is completely ridiculous for a father to be unlawfully deprived of the custody of his kids who bear his name..

My family are aware of what's going on and for now, they don't want to interfere because my ex wife family is not making any effort. Initially we had plans to go to the father's place but I thought about it that it doesn't make any sense cos I did not send those kids there at first.

immortalcrown:
What has your family (at least your parents) done about this matter?

Involve your family members in the matter before going to court.

Her family contributed to the breakdown of the marriage due to many interference which she caused.

nato20ng:
An African marriage is one that involves two families. Try getting your family involved first before seeking redress in court.

We married through the traditional way and we have not done any legal divorce, just separated for now and it's almost two years now. I feel she never expected I will move on so easily after all what I went through in the marriage and she feels better and regret now, so her best bet is to use the kids as bargain chip. Pls lawyers, how is divorce proceeding done for people that got married traditional without court.

Pls mod, help push to FP for wider audience

guyboss:
I really don't know what to opine here.

Any Family Lawyer in the house?

Thats by the way. Are you both divorced legally or just separated. There should be a binding clause on who takes custody and responsibility of the children as at when due.

This can be resolved amicably.

Top of the day to my nairalanders fam.
Majority of people here have idea about my story and if you don't, you can go through my previous post to get a glimpse.

This month made it one year and seven months have been Separated and living apart from my ex wife due to infidelity and cheating from my ex wife part. Since then, my two daughter aged 8 and 7 had been living with her and I do take responsibility of them until this January 2024 when my wife took my kids to her father and step mom place because there was this course she was order to go for 6months officially outside lagos state. I was so angry because she never seek my permission or approval before taking them there and because of this, I stop sending money or paying their fees till now. I saw it as a act of disrespect if I the father can't be informed of where my kids are been taking to for a long period of time. She already took them there before informing me.

She was supposed to finish her course outside the state by June and since then, she never called me to inform me she is back until yesterday when I put a call to her and she told me she got back since June. I asked about the kids and to my shock, she told me the kids are still there with her father and step mom. How can you leave the kids at your parents place while the father and mother are available, I got so upset and the discussion resulted to insult and curse on phone. She told me she had a serious issue at work and she couldn't combine the kids stress to what she is going through presently. To be honest, I was even thinking to reconcile with her cos of the kids despite she cheated but the way she behave and talks on phone shows she is not remorse or even care if the family is back together or ready for any reconciliation despite the fact she was at fault. Now my kids are my focus but I don't know how to go about this.

The information I got from her dad was that he will not release the kids to either me or her on less the money he had spent on them is refunded back to him. This is already looking like a kidnap and abduction case which I told her that if she doesn't pick those kids before weekend, I will file a case of child kidnap and abduction against her and her father. Pls I need advice on how to go about this and those that have first class experience with such should assist with advice. Thank you all

Top of the day to my nairalanders fam.
Majority of people here have idea about my story and if you don't, you can go through my previous post to get a glimpse.

This month made it one year and seven months have been Separated and living apart from my ex wife due to infidelity and cheating from my ex wife part. Since then, my two daughter aged 8 and 7 had been living with her and I do take responsibility of them until this January 2024 when my wife took my kids to her father and step mom place because there was this course she was order to go for 6months officially outside lagos state. I was so angry because she never seek my permission or approval before taking them there and because of this, I stop sending money or paying their fees till now. I saw it as a act of disrespect if I the father can't be informed of where my kids are been taking to for a long period of time. She already took them there before informing me.

She was supposed to finish her course outside the state by June and since then, she never called me to inform me she is back until yesterday when I put a call to her and she told me she got back since June. I asked about the kids and to my shock, she told me the kids are still there with her father and step mom. How can you leave the kids at your parents place while the father and mother are available, I got so upset and the discussion resulted to insult and curse on phone. She told me she had a serious issue at work and she couldn't combine the kids stress to what she is going through presently. To be honest, I was even thinking to reconcile with her cos of the kids despite she cheated but the way she behave and talks on phone shows she is not remorse or even care if the family is back together or ready for any reconciliation despite the fact she was at fault. Now my kids are my focus but I don't know how to go about this.

The information I got from her dad was that he will not release the kids to either me or her on less the money he had spent on them is refunded back to him. This is already looking like a kidnap and abduction case which I told her that if she doesn't pick those kids before weekend, I will file a case of child kidnap and abduction against her and her father. Pls I need advice on how to go about this and those that have first class experience with such should assist with advice. Thank you all

good advice to adhere this period else you go see gobe

See watin dis agbaya aunty is talking at this age. You supposed don get sense pass all this maami.

The juju go clear for this one eye and him go realized watin him chook hand put. Even if na love, your eye go still clear, you carry bukata wey pass your destiny. Haaa, dust go full your face brotherly

How will thi government take the youth seriously and believe there is hunger and poverty in the land if Nigerians can easily fund a smokescreen NGo like this. Funny to know some of the people that funds this NGo have people and family around them that need help. Stupid Nigerians chasing shadows

Sex is the tool they use to make covenant with you and also have a legal group to kill, steal, destroy and manipulate your life and destiny.

I can see you are frustrated and traumatized reason why you are thinking abnormally, you need to see a therapist to heal and think alright

Duchexx:
Just go and do thanksgiving it’s not someone like me you jammed. I for castr@te you while you sleep. Next time you won’t see the prick to use to disvirgin people you don’t want to marry or keep. After deceiving her with marriage because I remember you called her “fiancé “ in one of your threads. Wicked man

If you are in Lagos and you are asking this kind question, you gat to be joking. Some married people don't even see this kind nice room to leave. Any lady that is not ready to start life with you from a place like this doesn't deserve to grown with you to enjoy in the future

una won do una own back because they seize the country jet......

And why must you marry a woman just because you disvirgin her, this is 2024 and not 1920. You disvirgin a lady is not prerequisites to marry her, you marry a lady becos of her good character not because of virginity or not

Duchexx:
That’s why he deflowered a lady he knows fully well he won’t marry?
Better leave this thread..when we start talking about online begging and giveaway, we’ll call you 😏

I can't do this cos it doesn't sound responsible enough to me.

mrblessed:
Bring another girl home and divert your attention to her.

For your information oga, I don't need to marry her before I see some trait of responsibility in her, why not I say because am not her husband, I shouldn't have help her or sort her bills. This is a woman that works, Incase she doesn't earn, I will understand, but you have your own money and fist on another untop say una dey relationship. Love is all about sacrifice and if you can't, then you don't have any business in it be it a man or a woman. This is a girl that find it difficult to do any chores in a place she is getting comfort from. Even the sex you all are talking about, she hardly give it, she will wear jeans trouser and bra to bed just in case I want to disturb her for sex, she doesn't want to spend her money, she is very dirty, lazy. These are enough red flag even if you disvirgin her, this red flag are enough reason to pull out. That you disvirgin a lady is not a must you should marry her, pls grow up. For your information, I dump my wife because she was cheating and not her dumping me, till now, she still beg to come back but I refused, if am a terrible person as proclaimed, she won't want to return back to me.

Villa12:
you're looking for who will share bills with you and help you in doing house chores? A woman you're not married to yet to share bills with you and house chores? I thought we Men don't benefit anything in marriage? Why can't you live alone barely 2 years your wife dump you due to your bad character? You can't live without a woman?

Men don't benefit in marriage, yet most of una after divorce or lose una wife to death una go rush re-marry barely 1-2 years and men no dey benefit for marriage abi?

I don't know your definition of a real man but if this is your definition, you missed it. That I disvirgin her is not a recipe for me to get married to her even despite seeing enough red flags that you are not okay with, will you go ahead becos you disvirgin her, you need to grow old yourself cos you sound like you still have a lot to learn in life.

Duchexx:
Shut up mr man. You clearly stated in your previous stories that the chores were a lot for you. Why did you deflower her if you knew you won’t marry her? A man that cannot take ordinary boyfriend responsibilities. You want someone that’d split bills with you and do chores for you. This is exactly why your ex wife cheated on you with a real man

I don't know why you keep emphasising on dobo dobo as if that is all life depends on. For your information,am not a sex freak and can stay without sex and won't be bothered. I did what I did for her cos that's what is expected from a caring and understanding partner. She was stranded at that time and I should be able to help her if I have the means, why are we not in a relationship for. Things get worst when she start staying and started seeing things I wasn't aware of before like dirtiness, lack of empathy or to support, laziness etal. You can't know someone well until you start cohabiting with them

Starboytwo:
Bros, don't you think that's his own style? Or didnt he see the dirtiness from day one. Too much dobo clouded baba eyes from day one. So na now he just clear.

Im not such men bros, I've had girls over, stayed months sef, during Covid. No such thing. There was dobo all through, at the same time there are terms and conditions... No compromise or little compromise.

This is just a case of a man who got tired of the dobo and started seeing redflags. I don't blame anybody but him....

I am not expecting any wifey duty from her. I can do all my chores and don't find it an issue. Ever since I divorced, have been doing things in my own way and have peace of mind. Even though she is not my wife, she shouldn't make herself useless and a liability, she doesn't do chores neither does she support or contribute. She just want to live free while eating free food. Even wife's contribute despite doing all the chores at home so I don't know what you are clamoring about

TheWinterBird:
If you're not married to someone, you've no business moving them in and asking them to play housewife, househelp, atm. Take care of yourself and pay your own bills. You're just one man, therefore there's no reason why your laundry should be piling up. As a man, you should likewise know how to cook your own food. You were previously married and have kids, which makes me think your wife was doing all the chores in the home while you didn't lift a finger or didn't want to.

I know she got a mission and that is to trap me but she has failed cos me self no go allow it

WeddingParol:
What you thought would benefits you is now hunting you. Sorry.

It depends on the city because getting a house can be difficult atimes.

Give her six weeks to get her own house and you have to be singing it to her daily. By the end of the time frame, change the key to your house and tell her to let you know when she would be available to pick her things.

If you love your life and destiny, don't sleep with her again till she leaves. If not, you will fall into her trap and that would be the beginning of a bigger problem.

Assin...feeding oneself is a task not to talk of feeding another mouth. Someone you are not even married to. It's annoying

Nice2023:
The economy is really biting everyone.

Sorry.

She brought up the idea of me supporting her to get her apartment, this is someone that work and even earn more than me. Truely naija babe are so entitled,stingy and selfish. Her presence is not benefiting to me atal. Despite her being around, she lazy around, she sleeps a lot, she wakes up by 9/10am and that's when I disturb her to wake and get things done in the house. Despite me taking all the bills, I still do my chores, wash my cloths, clean and sweep, attimes I cook and wash dishes. I told her that if she wants to continue living with me, she need to start contributing but she always oppose it and tell me am her boyfriend and should be able to take care of her and feed her. Can you just imagine such a words from someone so irresponsible and doesn't want to do anything. Reason why am made up that she must leave cos her presence is not contributing anything beneficial to me

advanceDNA:
Lol.....this nigga is funny...expecting support from a Nigerian babe staying in his house??

See baba, In her head, she's already supporting you by dating you....see...dont get it twisted oooo...she staying in your house is also her doing u a favour in her head...not the other way round

Hahahahahahahaha... It's like u just came from abroad not too long ago... ...

Don't forget...the apartment she wants to rent..u will pay all or part of it...

This won't work cos my rent is sorted out till the end of 2025 . I can't wait till then to kick her out

Pzpropertylimit:
Wait for the rent to finish and pack out

She is naturally lazy to the core. Despite her being around, I do my laundry myself, I clean and sweep, I cook attimes , wash dishes. All she does is lie on bed and sleep at day. What surprised me was when she just picked her cloth alone about of our both dirty cloths and left mine. That was when I knew she doesn't worth the sacrifices I rendered her. She hate spending her money and expect me to sort all bills including feeding on top say I be her boyfriend. What she say is that am her boyfriend so I should handle all of it. Anytime I bring the discussion of her getting her place, she will start crying and saying all emotional blackmailing words. Some girls can just be so irresponsible, you work and earn and don't want to spend your money. I told her, did she realize that if she got her apartment, she will start paying bills and feeding herself, so why is it difficult to do such now you live with me. I see it as been stingy, selfish and self centered, reason I want to kick her ass out. She doesn't worth the sacrifice

Fahvvy:
Lemme get this ...

She stays in your house...
You pay all the bills...

She's working but she doesn't contribute financially to the running of the household and yet she can't take on the house chores? ...

If the above describes the situation, then her feelings is the last thing you should be bothered about ...

At this point, it doesn't matter how she takes it, DRIVE HER OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!! ...

The best you can do for her is give her a weeks notice ...

Top of the day to my nairalanders family, God bless you all in all ramifications. I know some will be familiar with my stories here, if you are not, you can visit my profile to get familiar.

My girlfriend have been living with me for a month now and reason I took her in was that she was kicked out from her friend she shared an apartment with and got no choice than to accept her briefly pending when she gets her own accomodation. Initially I thought it will be beneficial she staying as I expect her to support but she is sole dependent on me even knowing that she works and earn well. Now the narrative is changing as this my girlfriend is getting too relaxed, comfortable and looks like she doesn't want to leave again and want us to live together. At first I wanted this cos I expected she will also contribute in the house but I noticed she has been keeping her money to herself despite her working and depending on me solely and making me take husband responsibility that I have not signed for. She is kinda lazy even despite her living with me, I still do my chores ,clean and attimes cook. She only do these once in a while. There was a time she wanted to do her laundry, our dirty cloths was in the basket, she picked only her own dirty cloths and left mine to wash her own alone, I was surprised she acted that way despite the help I rendered for her. I was divorced 2years ago and don't even want to think about another marriage any time soon cos of the issues,stress and responsibility involved in marriage, now it seems this girl is driving me to that route which am not even ready or prepared for. The last time I told her to get her apartment before this month end, she didn't take it well with me, she started crying and manipulating me emotionally. To myself, even if you want us to live together as couple atleast I should know your parents and do something on your head to prove that we are both married but truth be told, am not ready for such for now, am not ready for marital commitment. Pls house, advice me on how to navigate through this situation, how can I get her to leave my apartment nice, as it is now, I don't even care if her leaving will be the end of the relationship, cause I remember she mentioned that if she leaves, she won't come to my house again never I just want to have my place to myself so I can plan and focus with the little am managing instead of her adding to my responsibility which am not st for. Pls if you have once been in this situation, kindly drop some tips and advice that will help me out on this cos it's giving me sleepiness night and I don't want to treat her harshly or rudely. I will appreciate all you inputs

Top of the day to my nairalanders family, God bless you all in all ramifications. I know some will be familiar with my stories here, if you are not, you can visit my profile to get familiar.

My girlfriend have been living with me for a month now and reason I took her in was that she was kicked out from her friend she shared an apartment with and got no choice than to accept her briefly pending when she gets her own accomodation.

Initially I thought it will be beneficial she staying as I expect her to support but she is sole dependent on me even knowing that she works and earn well.

Now the narrative is changing as this my girlfriend is getting too relaxed, comfortable and looks like she doesn't want to leave again and want us to live together. At first I wanted this cos I expected she will also contribute in the house but I noticed she has been keeping her money to herself despite her working and depending on me solely and making me take husband responsibility that I have not signed for.

She is kinda lazy even despite her living with me, I still do my chores, clean and attimes cook. She only do these once in a while. There was a time she wanted to do her laundry, our dirty cloths was in the basket, she picked only her own dirty cloths and left mine to wash her own alone, I was surprised she acted that way despite the help I rendered for her.

I was divorced 2years ago and don't even want to think about another marriage any time soon cos of the issues, stress and responsibility involved in marriage, now it seems this girl is driving me to that route which am not even ready or prepared for.

The last time I told her to get her apartment before this month end, she didn't take it well with me, she started crying and manipulating me emotionally. To myself, even if you want us to live together as couple atleast I should know your parents and do something on your head to prove that we are both married but truth be told, am not ready for such for now, am not ready for marital commitment.

Pls house, advice me on how to navigate through this situation, how can I get her to leave my apartment nice, as it is now, I don't even care if her leaving will be the end of the relationship, cause I remember she mentioned that if she leaves, she won't come to my house again never I just want to have my place to myself so I can plan and focus with the little am managing instead of her adding to my responsibility which am not st for.

Pls if you have once been in this situation, kindly drop some tips and advice that will help me out on this cos it's giving me sleepiness night and I don't want to treat her harshly or rudely. I will appreciate all you inputs

This OP sound like an attention seeking nicompo cos I don't see reason why this minor issue should be the reason why you want to crash and leave your marriage. You sound so immature even in your response to comment, you think you are coming to marriage to do jangulova before, or you don't know that sex is a major reason marriage strive, your excuse to leave is unjustified, you are having a child already but because of your selfish desire, you don't think of how this separation will affect that child future, you serious need to be talked to either by a counselor, elderly or a professional cos you don't sound sane to me. BTW leave so your man can move on and meet someone better than you in sense and also know what she wants to do.

The hospital I receive treatment from don't give chloroquine but rather artesunate iv which I suspect the parasite is already resistant to it and reason attaining cure is impossible

Healthrelatedjo:
I know the use of chloroquine injection has been banned,but in some cases it's still the best option.

Am under HMO which there is a designated hospital given. Though I suspect there is some descripancy with the hospital maybe becos it's an HMO thing

Healthrelatedjo:
Have you tried going to do the laboratory investigation in another hospital?
Try receiving treatment in another hospital.