₦airaland Forum

afam4eva: People like you make marriage look like work. You don't know that by marrying your husband, you've also married his family.

Please keep quiet,Marriage is work,a lot of patience and Work both parties work hard to keep each oda happy,when u marry abeg allow ur in laws to poo on head and say its bcus u married "his family" dats why u shud lose ur sense of self. Are u even married sef?
MscheWwwwwwwwww!

Speaking from experience,I used to be nice to my in laws,cook,play,gist,exchange calls and text with brother in law and sister in law,as a matter of fact for the first 4years of my marriage I had atleast 3 of them living with me,then suddenly aunty africaine became africaine,then came the disrespect in ways that I can't even begin to explain here,it was so bad that I went on fasting and prayer to get them out of my house,and when finally they left after the rains drove out of our former house,we relocated and ever since I have kept them at arms length,abeg I no fit shout. They greet me,I respond,they send text,I ignoremthey once a while to ask for stuff I give wateva I have,when they come round I don't interfere,I just leave them to their brother oh,am not cold or anything oh,I just no want wahala,and so far so good,atleast the friction that existed btw me n hubby bcus of dem is non existent.
So op yes the wife may hav bin petty but maybe its not you,maybe its ur oda siblings,maybe it was a bad time....just give her a little bit of credit.

[quote author=fresh_dude]Sup Afric what's good?[/quote]Thanks,am gud,hope u r too!
These guya are still at dis thing.na wa oh!

This thing is complicated. For example,take me and sister,
My mum has just two of us and she has refused to intervene, I go looking for her all the time,I call her more than she does me,I have never complained that she recipocate as such,even wats more annoying is the fact anytime she manages to come find me,the husband wud start pursuing her wit phonecalls on her leaving soon,even that I ignore all for peace sake,if my sister is ill or something,and I dnt follow up to know hw she is she will take offence,but if reverse was the case,I wud be calmmthe one that broke the camels back was when something really bad happened to me,where I lost all my property,and had to move and restart life again wit my family,I called her and told her and what was her response,she said she won't come and find me bcus I havnt been to her house since she relocated,that one put me off totally,and that was it for me. We havnt spoken dis year and we are in d same city,I dnt care,thankfully we both married and we both have kids,so let evrybody face their corner.

Dang!!! See as one woman's cry for help has been turned into a circus!
Everybody sheath ur swords! Although I must confess I am thoroughly entertained by dis thread,
Its time for everyone to just stretch their hands say woasHhhhhaaaaaaaa!!!

You people are seriously scaring me oh! Why can't we just get along? A few insults or yabs here and there isn't so bad,atleast it keeps things fun and we can't all agree or hav same opinions,we are different for crying out,so its okay,people shud say their piece and move on.
This is supposed to be a place where people can come and speak wats bugging to faceless strangers so that they won't be judged and you'all spoiling it jor!

Just say ur own and waka and don't go refering to it another time,shikenna.

Its admirable that you are talking about money before signing the dotted lines,I can't begin to tell how important it is.
When I got married we didn't talk our money,I just assumed that since we were married it automatically meant that we shared and plan together and was I wrong. He took some financial that almost wrecked us witout telling me,he tried to cover up bcus I guess he knew he was wrong, but instead of things to get beta,they got worse and he refused to come clean,instead he was giving me stories that just didn't add up,things got so bad that I had to sell my car just to help correct the mistakes he made and by the time I found it was almost too late,we had lost almost everything,I was 7months pregnant wit our 2nd child when I got the true picture of hw bad things were,I had hypertension and was in hospital till gave birth,I felt betrayed and still trying to work out that part,a lot happened a whole lot I cnt go into right but with the grace of God we are working out our marriage and I have taken up all the expenses while he concentrates on repaying his loans which I have insisted I won't help pay anymore,
Today we much happier and we working on ourselves
So see poster,its good you spell out ur expectations in clear terms and same applies to her,both of you have to find a common ground,and if that doesn't happen, pls find ur way. This is experience speakinh oh!

Hi everyone,
Pls I require a babyboy with flexible payments plan. I can pay half now and spread the rest
Into two payments.
I have a budget of 800k
I would really apperciate it,if anyone can come to my aid.
Thank you

i dont think it works,havent been called or invited to one single interview,na wa oh!

Its no biggie and trust me from experience you will. same thing happened to me,mine was even worse becos i had my first thru ceasearn,so u can imagine, but well am okay,i managed and i have my babies.

Trust I have checked everything,one minute he's eating,next minute he's screaming.
I have even enquired from his school teacher,they say he's very well behaved in school,honestly i dont get it.

@agiboma, He will be 2 in May,so he is 21 months old.
its not food,he eats well but i just dont understand this turn of events, the guy wud be happy and playing one second,the next he's screaming at the top of his voice, before i would beg, pet and everything,or ignore him,he doesnt stop oh! until u back him,take him outside and walk around d estate,before the dude wud shut up.

My son just started this behaviour recently oh,I dont understand and am so worried.
The dude will just start crying for no just cause,he will roll,scream,bang his head and he can go on for an hour or more
there's nothing you use to pacify him that will shut him up oh,he'll just go on,
I have thought of differents things,but i just realised that he does dis only when myself or his father is back home.
i dont know how to deal with dis anymore oh,My daughter who is older never gave me this kind of wahala oh. I mean last night i had to back him around 1.30am and start walking around for over 40mins,singing before he finally went bacnk to sleep,meanwhile i have to be up 5am to get ready for work oh,the thing tire me. I swear.

Having in laws live with one is something to be taken lightly,because so many factors come into play especially if you are the way you see things differs.
My in laws lived with me for from the day i got married till abtn july 2010,when the floods came and drove everybody out
It was hell,even that is an understatement,they are rude lazy extremely annoying mannerless set of people,i almost a physical altercation my sister in law,it took everything in me fight,i walked away,to d extent dat just bcus i didnt like the way they wud eat wat i have scheduled to last a week in 2days,i wud bring out wats for them on my way work and lock my freezer,they actually broke my freezer,i was livid! I told my sister in law,pls dont go to my pot witout asking first,she had a problem wit that, infact that july 10th rain that flooded lagos,it entered my house oh,was the best thing to have happened to me oh. After the flood,we had to move,and i just put my feet down,them or me I told my hubby,u can relate wit them,anyway time or how,u want,my staying in my house is COMPLETELY prohibited oh,whether ur mama like make she cry blood oh,we signed an agreement,and now I hav so much peace and our expenses had reduced drastically,even my hubby had to concede and apologise for not sending them away sooner.

I can so relate to this,the only difference is that Im not good at silent treatments but my hubby, kai that man deserves a Ph d in that thing,But like seru has stated you balance each other out. I cannot decieve it was so difficult having to cope,i just couldnt understand how someone could live thier lives in the hakuna mattana way,so laid back,wat will be will be style,I had to fight for everything,come from a broken with no mother,I never got anything just like dat,I had to fight and work for everything,even down to the clothes on back,so Im used to being a fighter,as used going out and getting things done,cause I never had anyone to help anyways,whereas reverse was the case with Hubby. We struggled a bit,and i can honestly say that if not for my hubby's patient and accomodating attitude,Im not sure we'll still be married,

6 years on, its still a struggle,we are adjusting every day,and he has improved alot,now he atleast makes the effort to go out and hussle,instead of waiting or assuming,while Im learning more patience and tolerance.

Truth is,it never goes away,you are you and he is well, him. You contine learing and adjust throughout ur life,guess thats why its called MARRIAGE.

Pls can i get the acct number ASAP, today is pay day.

God Bless everyone that has contributed so far,you will never labour in vain and help will NEVER be far from all of you.
Thank you all.

Congrats pslm23,I know you have triplets already, just relax, let your mind,body and spirit be in agreement. God will do the rest, cheers

Is marriage really worth it hmmm i had to sit and ask myself this question over and over again!
I am married,and it has been a thrilling experience,it hasnt been easy, being dat we come from completely different family and value system,sometimes i throw my hands up in frustration trying to make him see things from my own point of view and he just looks at me,dsnt understand why its so important, I tell you it can be really annoying,but I have come to learn that tolerance and patience are the watchwords of any successful marriage,only then can you truly experience LOVE. knowing that you cant change dis person and loving them inspite of all the imperfections and living in peace, that is marriage.
I have two wonderful kids,they make it easier,but still cant say categorily that marriage is all dat!

am interested in getting a honda car car, baby boy or any other nice one.
my budget is btw 550k to 700k. thanks

my email is onome4ever@yahoo.com

dis is utter rubbish, the poster shud be flooged for being so myopic.
So bcus the guy got married,suddenly the wife is responsible for all his misfortunes
'typical nigerian idiotic mentality".
Speaking from experience,sometimes the wife isnt even aware,the guy is trying to impress her so much that he goes overboard,
watever happened to sharing,speak to your wife,let her know wat is going down,wat u can afford or wat you cant,
no resonable woman will advise her man to his deteriment,bcus wateva happens to him,it bounces back on her and her kids.
But trust men,they would go out and feel they can handle it,then when it blows up in thier faces,the woman and children are left to pick
up the pieces!
Pls if u dnt know or arent sure,just encourage the guy and move on instead of talking abt things u have absolutely no idea abt!

hmmm,meeting my in laws for the first time was okay, They were nice to me especially the mom,she was just happy that her son had finally decided to settle down. My father in law wouldnt stop talking,relevant,irrelevant and all, he just wouldnt stop, he just went on and on, i had to check myself several times from yawning. And he felt the need to show off,something i found amusing,i had made up my mind to marry thier son regardless of whatever,i didnt undersntand,why he was showing off,he still does and i just laugh,most times. My father's money is his,am trying to make mine with my husband,and i have never rubbed it thier faces,but the guy just wont give up.

my first baby was 8months when i missed period, now anytime from now i will deliver my second, next time if u r rili serious abt not wanting an unwanted pregnancy, use a condom, other than that ,put a sock in it and take it like a man.

okay,its rili amazing how dumb and stupid some men can be thinking the sun rises and sets on thier ass!!!

sky spirit or wateva u call urself,go get a life, and pls stop embarassing the menfolk on a whole, how can one spit so much gabbage pls if u dnt have anything better to add or say, just keep quiet, gosh!!!

@bolee, oh my God
I want to believe it cant be that bad, i wish someone had warned or given me a glimpse when i was entering,
there are so many things I would have done differently.
@Vanenon
Interesting coming from a man, I wonder how my hubby feels

i dont see what all the fuss is abt there's a reason why he is ur ex, i wud attend and he's free to attend mine

okay,some people are just been silly on this thread,but thanks anyways to people who have been sincere with thier replies

Let me reiterate please,I love my hubby,he's really nice and helps out with the kids,but I just feel
thats all we do,we have a toddler and a baby,so its really hectic, with work and all
we dont even have any "WE" anymore,

its almost as if the kids,is driving us apart!!!

interesting and sincere advise so far!!!

Pls for the Some people insinuating thrash,biko, I didnt marry for money,else i wudnt have married him

its not as if i dnt love him still,but i miss the butterflies, reality really is a bish

now all we concentrate on is work and the kids, i want more,i want us back, is it wrong to want more?

I am talking to people who have been married for over 3years


What happens when the  novelty wears off?
When you cant feel the butterflies in ur stomach?
when reality sets in and you realize that at the end of the day,he is just human
which makes him imperfect
what do u do

eyaaa, that bishop wicked ohhhh, i can just imagine, pele

For the women and men, on your wedding day,as you were walking down the aisle
to your spouse wat was going through your mind

I'll go first,
walking down the aisle to my beau, I was just thinking to myself
everyday ever since I matured has led to this very moment, lord make it worth my while,

thats exactly what was going through my mind, and thank God, he does answer prayers.

What is this poster saying sef

There is no bank that is clean  even the so called GTb,and how come someone is mentioning Zenith bank? where they more or less drive thier girls into glorified prositution all in the name of deposit?

Let me make this clear,am not a banker as a matter of fact am a pharmacis,but it is wrong for you to put everyone together just because of some bad eggs,am sure if u flash ur light on the so called banks,you'll find some of the traits in all of them.

I happen to know alot of oceanic staff,and i have been had cause to deal with alot the bank and I have found them professional,meticulous and right on point.

@poster,GTb dey pay you for this debasing of another bank? abeg if u live in a glass house dont throw stones, Mr Gtb

A 24 year difference, wow!!!

Dats toooooooooooooooo much,its either the guy is looking for a sugar mummy or he is up to something,
U r old enuff to be his mother,and you are probably his mother's age mate or older, biko
Let dis one slide, if not for anything,for pride and self respect.