₦airaland Forum

RomanceLander:
That awful moment when you find rubey changing cars in her DP,
you'd be like gush she's such a big chick

tracyorez:
Hey hun!

tracyorez:
Hun!

Shaakasi:
huh

carefreewannabe:
You are quite busy but you have enough time to avoid my question. I see.

The same is true of the media in the West, they also cherry pick stories, you know, because people like sensationalism.

There is no increase in divorce rate in Africa, even though the modernization process has manifested itself in various spheres of life? Ok! Then you have no reason to be worried.

carefreewannabe:
You seem to know what roles men and women have to play to keep a marriage going, so why not share it?

-The increasing divorce rate.
-The stories we read on different media.

Islie:
You make a lot of sense there...... Its those moral and cultural codes that makes it work and the beliefs also had a hand in it
Whether you are a Christian, Muslim or traditionalist..... The roles of each person are clearly defined and explicitly said..... So, when there is an overlap of these roles and one wanting to take over the other roles, their would be a clash of interest and may brew up some disagreement within the institution of marriage

carefreewannabe:
That's it? No more? Very vague.

And the high rate of unhappy marriages in Africa tells you what?

carefreewannabe:
What roles should men and women play?

@bold

Who told you so?

carefreewannabe:
My grandparents have been married for a very looooooong time now.

Yet, my grandmother will tell me to count myself lucky that I have more freedom and independence than her generation; not because my grandpa was a bad husband or her marriage unhappy, but because of all that she has seen in her life and how depressing and devastating the marriage institution became for some people.

Neither my mum nor my grandmother, who have had a long lasting marriage, would want me to live the lives many women of their generation lived.




To be honest, I am so happy that gender roles have become more flexible.
When I think of what I would have missed if I followed the traditional route, I feel that it is a depressing thought.

I would have been trained to be a mother and housewife and my life would revolve around cooking and house chores. What a boring life.

The way I was brought up, I was lucky to enjoy education, primary, secondary and tertiary. I was lucky enough to travel and study in different countries, learn about different cultures, meet interesting people and develop mentally.

I now have a job that I love, that fulfills me and that gives me the feeling that I am able to make a difference every day by helping people.

I am interested in politics, economics, sociology, music, different cultures, literature and able to understand the complexities of life.

I still cook and do my house chores but there is more to my life than that and I would never change with any woman who used to live in the past just because it would reduce the divorce rate.

I see the advantages of the progress we have made instead of focusing on the disadvantages.

I can imagine that the divorce rate equals the number of unhappy marriages in the past, the only difference is that people are not trapped in these marriages any longer, which, for me, is a good thing because I wouldn't want to sacrifice my precious life on an unhappy and unhealthy union.

carefreewannabe:
Do you think everything was better back in the day? Do you think that people were happier and had better lives?

And what solution do you suggest?

Islie:
I quite understand the point the writer is passing across here and agree to some extent with some of her points .......

But, I kinder ask myself..... What is the different things, attitude and responsibility did our mothers did to have make their marriages work during their own time and sustained it till today that our women of today are finding it difficult to do.

Is it that our mothers were quite obedient
Is it that our mothers were understanding
Is it that our mothers were patience enough
Is it that our mothers were religious

Because the rate of divorce today is alarming

Shaakasi:
very bad

Rilamaka:
Even if she is using a false rape story, why don't you find out first before you condemn the person. This post is outrageous and in a bad taste. How dare the poster use a blanket term? Don't you know that more than a third of our female population have been sexually assaulted? So if most girls say that they have been raped, then it means that they have actually been raped. Go out there and ask questions, you will be be amazed, enraged and disgusted. So please you guys should not trivialise rape, its an ugly thing. This is mean and unfair for rape victims (who might be reading this thread this very moment), that's all I am trying to make you understand.

Sparksfly:
[color=deeppink] I can't fathom with ya.
Nigerian men are my very third option.[/color]

mutter:
I had a son that liked everything that girls liked. Dolls, long hair dresses etc. He never played with the boys as a little kid. Even my husband was very upset about it.
I gradually steered him away from those things.
First he got barbies and then I suggested to him he could get the ken (the male barbie). He pleaded to wear a princess dress and I let him, on the condition he would take it off again, which he did. He asked for it on another day but after that never again. It was important for me to let him do those things so that he does not have a secret longing for them when he gets older. However I carefully steered him away from them.
Now he is older he still loves playing with girls but he finds them very attractive.
He understands girls better but he definitely loves being a boy. as a kid he loved pink but then it changed to red and now black.
Basically what I`m trying to say is that some kids are born that way, as a kid I loved playing with boys football and the rest but it is the duty of the parents to orientate and educate the children in the right direction

These parents are pushing their kid into this, probably want to have a sensation in their home. Really sad.

Sparksfly:
[color=deeppink] Like seriously, that thing, big thing is attractive?[/color]

thorpido:
Not really.
The Agberos in Lagos and environs are also children of Yoruba parents.

akinsadeez:
Okay, after uploading it now, what has the janitor gained?

He didn't get the promise the woman purportedly gave him,

He will no longer be sleeping with her so he has lost the free sex

He no longer has the ego boost of banging the head nurse in the hospital despite being a janitor

He will most likely lose his job as the hospital will not keep employing him knowing what he did.

So what exactly is his gain by uploading the video simply baffling.

Sparksfly:
[color=deeppink] I can't fathom why this topic should be on the FP.
It's so useless and dumb. Nothing more. [/color].