₦airaland Forum

my brother u can be more explicit on this. im most of the time mobile and needs internet on the go. i use p910i to browse but d cost makes me cry.

if can please explain further on how this applies in nigerian context.

thanks for the info cos i was thinking of grabbing the MTN blackberry

Cutting of the head is not a solution to headache. she will loose her marriage over this. The other married chap cannot guarantee her security, he will only take advantage of her stupidity. She should just retrace her footsteps and think what to do to bring her husband back to her arms.

i just hope she has not eaten the forbidden fruit because i know women with soft heart when it comes to this.
i beg her not to sell out her matrimony in jankara market.

my candid suggestion is that she should start a school since she has been in this line. She can start with a creche or nursery school.

good idea. im not a guru but can only help in area of marketing. i can push your finished work to the market big time using my platform. feel free to contact me.

good luck

All hail the center of excellence at 40. The fountain of knowledge

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

“Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.”

Little Bobby was a bit of a trouble maker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby’s mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did. Bobby’s mother, being a Christian woman, wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the year.

“Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday. “Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

LETTER 1

Dear God,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.

Your Friend,
Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn’t true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

LETTER 2

Dear God,

I have been an “OK” Boy this year. I still would really like a bike
for my birthday.

Bobby

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a third letter.

LETTER 3

Dear God,

I know I haven’t been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday please.

Thank you,
Bobby

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Bobby was very upset. He went down stairs and told his Mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby’s mother thought her plan
had worked, as Bobby looked very sad. “Just be home in time for dinner, “ Bobby’s mother told him.

Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the alter. He looked around to see if any one was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of
the Virgin Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the Church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen and
began to write his letter to God.

LETTER 4

God,

I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.

Bobby

http://www.google.com.ng/search?q=buying+and+selling+portals+in+nigeria&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

see all operators in nigeria now

you guys have forgotten that obasanjo is blessed with many wives and countless concubines. taking sirleaf will be a huge probs.

OBJs bed is not vacant yet

www.thenewsnd.com

By Kazeem Ugbodaga

The Lagos State government this morning denied owing N100 billion, saying it owes N15 billion. The state government was reacting to reports in some newspapers (not P.M.News) that it is leaving behind a debt portfolio of N100 billion to be inherited by the incoming administration of Babatunde Fashola. “The Lagos State Government will like to state categorically that this administration has not gone into any foreign loan transaction to date.

“The only long term loan incurred by this administration is a domestic loan of N15 billion bond approved by the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) and drawn down in October 2002,” said the Commissioner for Finance, Mr. Akin Doherty.

Doherty, in a statement, said: “the N100 billion is a miscalculation and misrepresentation of the current and true loan portfolio of the state. No where in the press briefing was the total sum of current debt burden of the state summarised and so reported.

“The Multilateral and Paris Club loans are loans inherited from past administrations, which may have been misrepresented as current loan liabilities.”

According to Doherty, these loans were obtained for the Lagos State Water Corporation, solid water, drainage and health system projects, among others.

He said the Paris Club loans had been fully liquidated with excess crude proceeds, while a substantial refund was due to the state government from the federal authorities.

On the N15 billion, the commissioner stated that the bond was backed by an Irrevocable Standing Payment Order (ISPO) and was being managed by Union Trustees through the establishment of a sinking fund.

“Today, sufficient amount has been provided in the sinking fund to take care of both principal and interest at maturity.

“This bond was raised in order to utilise long term funds for long term projects and correct the mismatch of the past when short term funds were used for long term projects,” he added.

Doherty also said the refund on the independent power plant deductions, balances of the state government share of the excess crude utilised in paying down the Paris Club loan and the N14 billion council funds were erroneously reported as if the money were in the bank.

“It is indeed true that this monies are due to the state government and will be subsequently available for the incoming administration if court orders are obeyed by the Federal Government,” he said.

sorry! my nos is 08055776590, 01-7211031.

@boller

yes, will only determine how much when ive gotten a deal for the P990i

so what? i am a muslim, my wife is a christian, we courted for 8 years and now married for 7 years. she is a born again redeemer cum worker in the church. i sometime attend church with her and still practice my islam. we both remind each other of prayers. we ve got kids and we are very happy together.

my belief is religion, tribe, and language is no barrier for marriage except you are a fanatic, tribalist or a freek.

love and believe in it

Mckren

have u been to lagos lately? Tinubu may not have scored the highest but i can authoritatively say he has left good legacies behind in terms of transformations on our roads, schools, water (not all) among other things despite d wars of OBJ. im an islander to the core and pleased with what hes done with the island.

you may want to join OBJ in crucifying him over his firm grip on lagos, i wont.

you need to meet him to appreciate his open door policy.

come to think of it, other govs stinks more

i need a P990i sony errickson in top shape withh all accessories complete at about N30,000. im currently using a P910i and needs to change it. a new P990i sells for about 50k.

anyone with a match can call, text or mail me on 0805577670, olacom3k@yahoo.com

i need a P990i sony errickson in top shape withh all accessories complete at about N30,000. im currently using a P910i and needs to change it. a new P990i sells for about 50k.

anyone with a match can call, text or mail me on 0805577670, olacom3k@yahoo.com

The Lagos State chapter of the Action Congress condemns the latest ploy of President Olusegun Obasanjo to play cheap and self-serving politics with Lagos by his recent statement that Lagos deserves a better deal than what it is getting at present. We wonder why Obasanjo is just waking to the fact that the former federal capital which houses more than one-tenth of the country’s population and accounts for over 75 percent of the country’s economic activities deserve a better deal after he spent eight whole years visiting the worst forms of persecution on Lagos. We wonder if Obasanjo is just waking to the fact that Lagos deserves a better deal when he is just some few days away from relinquishing power and when he busied himself for eight years in subverting the interests of Lagos for his cheap political ends. It is unimaginable that a Yoruba president should display the kind of open hatred against Lagos just because the state has vehemently refused to play the purblind and narrow politics of the PDP.

If Obasanjo is just realising the importance of Lagos because he is inches away from what would obviously be a tempestuous retirement, then he was grossly unqualified to rule Nigeria in the first instance.

We are vindicated in this assertion by the grand failure which he was as a president that was endowed with a monumental eight years oil windfall but who rather flowered political brigandage, electoral robbery, pranks, chicanery, corruption, pursuit of vendetta and plain hubris.

If Obasanjo thinks he would bail himself of the culpability of subjecting a state as important as Lagos to the worst form of illegal persecution by asserting cheaply and shamelessly, in this very last minute, that Lagos deserves a better deal, we state that he would not be allowed to go away with the cheap ends he wanted to curry with that lame statement.

Lagosians still remember the wicked, abhorrent, grossly illegal seizure of the statutory of Lagos State council funds by Obasanjo and his PDP gang after the Supreme Court ruled he lacks such despotic power.

Lagosians still remember how Obasanjo launched a fiendish brood of hoodlums on Lagos roads, in the name of FERMA for the main purpose of destabilising Lagos. We still remember how Obasanjo and his PDP gang subjected Lagos State monthly allocations to the most callous deductions, how Obasanjo and his cult reduced Lagos allocations to mere pittance so as to frustrate any effort to lift Lagos from the overwhelming impediments that naturally afflict it with its enormous population.

We remember how Obasanjo and his PDP gang frustrated the reclamation of the Bar Beach so as to further their wicked political interests. We were aware of how Obasanjo frustrated the Lagos Independent Power Project so as to score cheap political ends. We are fully aware of how Obasanjo and his cult in PDP abandoned Lagos roads and the need to expand the road network in Lagos for eight years so as drive.

Lagosians are aware of how Obasanjo and his PDP abandoned federal infrastructure in Lagos for eight years just because they wanted to settle cheap political scores against a people that have consistently repulsed their buccaneerish political tendencies.

Is it not the same Obasanjo and his PDP that conspired to allocate census figures that clearly reduced the population of Lagos, to the consternation of all Nigerians, just because Lagos is not another of the dead centers that are called PDP states where feckless robots and malleable pawns, beholden to the vice-ridden order in Abuja presided.

We thank God that in Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu, Lagosians have a man and government that were clearly ahead of the Abuja parody hence Lagos never missed from this vendetta-driven agenda of Obasanjo and his PDP to reduce and whittle the importance and influence of Lagos.

In Asiwaju Tinubu, Lagosians has a man who made Lagosians forget the show of revelry that was launched in Abuja. So, we tell Obasanjo to go to hell with his new found realisation. Lagos does not need such hypocritical statement from Obasanjo and his menservants for they are terrible nightmares Lagosians would want to put behind them.

Lagos AC is not persuaded to think that Obasanjo never knew what he was doing when he was visiting these spates of unconscionable persecution on Lagos.

That a man that wielded power for eight years never knew till his last few days in power that Lagos deserves an elevated place in Nigeria smacks of the very worst genre of self-deception and Lagosians that are still smarting from the bruises of the most barren government in the history of the country are not deceived about this.

Beyond this predilection of Obasanjo to play politics with a state he visited with the crudest form of marginalisation lies the fact that for the Yorubas, it would take another 40 years to produce a president of the country and the providential opportunity they had was frittered away by a president that refuses to see beyond his nose and one that is deep in infantile contrivances as the one that subjected Lagos to the most brazen and callous denigration in the history of Nigeria. It is so bad that Obasanjo and his PDP cannot point to just one worthwhile infrastructure as their contribution to Lagos in the last eight years.

Lagos AC therefore tells Obasanjo to go to his Otta with his self-serving contention meant to buy peace with Lagosians who he had so badly wronged. We don’t need such hypocritical sermons, as we are now waiting to see the back of this shameless, immoral and corrupt PDP government that came to power in 1999.

•Igbokwe is the Publicity Secretary of Lagos Action Congress (AC).

shame on critics

Governor Bola Tinubu of Lagos State is leaving behind N27 billion in the state’s treasury as he bows out of office on 29 May 2007.

This is N25 billion more than the N2 billion left in the coffers by his predecessor, Brigadier General Buba Marwa in 1999.

The state Commissioner for Finance, Mr. Akin Doherty, who disclosed this yesterday, said, apart from the N19 billion proceeds from the sale of Celtel shares being committed to infrastructure development, the Tinubu administration would be leaving behind N27 billion.

Doherty said the amount consisted of N2.3 billion outstanding credit balance in a bond redemption account and expected Independent Power Project (IPP) refund of N6 billion.

Others are expected refund of Lagos State share of excess crude funds used to settle the Paris Club debt which is N4.7 billion and the N14 billion local government funds withheld by the Federal Government.

According to the commissioner, the state government invested N11 billion in the Bus Rapid Transit (BRT) project which consists of N6.5 billion for the acquisition of Marcopolo buses and N4.5 billion on infrastructure and maintenance of facilities.

On the Land Use Charge, Doherty stated that N3.5 billion had so far been collected since 2001, adding that the local governments had been the major beneficiaries of the amount so far collected.

“It is interesting to note that this revenue item which, at inception in 2002 was characterised by stiff resistance from members of the Organised Private Sector, is now witnessing a situation where property owners visit the complaint desk of the ministry to demand for their bills in order to take advantage of the 15 per cent discount which is granted for timely payment,” he said.

Internally Generated Revenue (IGR) has risen from N600 million in 1999 to N8.2 billion in March 2007, the commissioner added

“The result is reforms in tax administration through computerisation of our tax assessment and records, inclusive of collection and banking.

“The icing on the cake is the introduction of electronic-Tax Clearance Card (e-TCC), a vital and fraud-free, yet most convenient vessel of tax payers’ records,” he stated.

how old are you guys? well its very important to care about the future as it is the reason for living today. he might not know the reason for a concern for the future or not wanting to allow the future bother him for reasons known to him. love is one thing and future is another, please hold on to him and let him see reasons why the future is important for the both of you. good luck

so what? i will be proud if my wife earns 500% percent more than i do.

i wonders what it profits a man to acquire so much wealth and not be able to spend in the open confidently. i gather most of these chaps are already negotiating their way out.

i got pix!

yeah right, they lost to baba ijebu. three winnings a day, you can play with N20. its stress free. i dont play anyway

good. How much are they?

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: This car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir, that's where I put it after I shot the owner of this car and stuffed his body in the
trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!

Driver: Yes sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation. The Captain slowly approached the driver,

Captain: Sir, can I see you license? Driver: Sure, here it is. It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration card.

Captain: Could you slowly open the glove box so I can see if there's a gun in there?

Driver: Yes sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told there was a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

The trunk is opened: no body.

Captain: I don't understand. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, and I'll bet he told you that I was speeding, too.

if politics is anything to go by, all this EFCC threat may be a trivial afterall! all governors with dirty linen are already using yar adua's washing machine

smart guys

if politics is anything to go by, all this EFCC threat may be a trivial afterall! all governors with dirty linen are already using yar adua's washing machine

smart guys

thisday news papers
• Panel insists on impeachment


Amid moves by the Lagos State House of Assembly to impeach him, the State Deputy Governor, Otunba Olufemi Pedro yesterday resigned his appointment in a very controversial manner, which caused a stir in the seat of government.
However, the letter is yet to be accepted by the Governor, whose aides claimed was not on ground to either accept or reject the resignation.
Notwithstanding his resignation, the seven-man panel set up by the Chief Judge of Lagos State, Justice Ade Alabi, to probe allegations of gross misconduct filed against him has promised to complete its assignment.
Pedro, in a two-paragraph letter dated Tuesday, May 8, 2007 and addressed to the Governor, formally tendered his “resignation as Deputy Governor of Lagos state with effect from Tuesday, 8th of May 2007”.
He thanked Tinubu for the “opportunity given me to work with you and to serve the people of Lagos state over the past four years”.
But in a statement from the Governor’s office late last night and signed by his Chief Press Secretary, Mr. Kehinde Bamigbetan, the governor said he has not received the resignation letter.
“The Governor wishes to further clarify that resignation is a process that begins with the notice of intention to resign and ends with acceptance of resignation”, the statement reads in part.
A mild drama, had however, ensued at the Alausa round house, Ikeja when a five-man legal team from the Gani Fawehinmi chambers led by Barrister Adindu Ugwuzor, a senior counsel, arrived the governor’s office at 2.21pm.
The lawyers who came with the aim of submitting the letter to the governor were turned back by officials of the governor’s office.
The Lagos government officials after going through the contents of the letter claimed that they had been directed not to receive any such letter.
A female receptionist in her mid-fifties, (name withheld), said, “that is the instruction they gave us, it is for the governor to reject or accept it, I cannot take the letter.”
A superior officer who arrived the scene at this point berated the lawyers for allowing journalists to witness the scene. “Why did you come with journalists? if there is any difference in opinion, you will have to talk to somebody else, this woman is not under obligation to explain why she cannot collect the letter.”
He then directed the lawyers to the office of the Head of Service, saying, “HOS is the number one civil servant. “The officer in question, directed his grievances at journalists around, saying, "Go and hunt for your stories elsewhere, if you want news, go to your office.”
The lawyers then proceeded to the office of the Secretary to the State Government in Block 1, within the secretariat as directed where they were told that the SSG, Omotilewa Aro-Lambo had resigned since November 2006 to participate in active politics and there had been no replacement.
They were asked to see the Chief of Staff whose officials in turn directed the lawyers to the permanent Secretary, Governor’s office, who was said to be away.
After exhausting all avenues, the lawyers put a call through to their principal, Fawehinmi (SAN), who directed the team of lawyers to drop two copies of the resignation letter in the office of the governor, whether acknowledged or not, saying, ‘In law, it is acceptable.”
The lawyers then went back to the governor’s office demanding to see the most senior official. At this point, heated argument ensured between the lawyers and security officials who barred journalists from gaining entrance.
One of the governor’s aides whose name could not be ascertained as at press time, insisted that journalists must be excused before he could have a word with the lawyers.
He said, “Please let them go out, you people should go and look for your stories elsewhere, you have a job to do and we also have a job to do.”
He then accused reporters of poke-nosing into purely government business.
The letter which was dropped was eventually thrown on the floor outside the governor’s office by the enraged female receptionist and later picked up by a supposedly mad man at about 2.52pm.
Investigations however reve-aled that the “mad man” is an official of the state security service (SSS).
None of the commissioners was on ground to speak with newsmen because they were having the weekly executive council meeting.
However, the State Comm-issioner for Transportation, Muiz Banire, was accosted on his way to the council chambers for the meeting.
When prompted to speak on the issue, he said, “How can he (Pedro) send a letter through an ordinary clerk to the governor, I recall that when he was appointed as the deputy-governor, he personally collected the letter of appointment.
“Others (Commissioners) that resigned came personally to give their letters to the governor, the onus lies on him to bring his letter personally to the governor.”
He went further to say, “the governor upon receipt of the letter has a right to either accept or reject his resignation. If for instance, Pedro is yet to give his account of stewardship in the last four years, the governor can tell him to put that in place before accepting his resignation.”
Investigations however revealed that a copy of the letter has already been received by the office of the Speaker of the State House of Assembly.
Meanwhile, despite his resignation, the seven-man panel set up by the Chief Judge of Lagos State, Justice Ade Alabi, to probe allegations of gross misconduct filed against Pedro has promised to complete its assignment.
The Panel’s determination to submit the report of its findings to the state Assembly was coming just as Pedro’s lawyer, Mr. Abiola Philips staged a walk-out on the panel.
At the resumed hearing of the matter yesterday, Pedro through his counsel, told the court that all the allegations against him, including disloyalty to the government of the state are false, stating that he has been upright and loyal to constituted authority.
However, responding, the state House Assembly counsel, who also is the Chairman House committee on legal matters, Hon. AbdulHakeem Abdulatif debunked arguments advanced by Philips stating that the Deputy Governor has no defence to the allegations brought against him.
The panel Chairman, Alhaji Mohammed Adebola Badmus in his ruling, said “The Lagos State House of Assembly having adopted its written address and in view of the withdrawal of Pedro’s counsel, the panel is of the opinion that the defence does not have any defence.
"The panel deems it fit to close its defence and shall proceed to consider the fact as well as independent findings before it and shall be submitted accordingly.”
Opening his defence earlier, Pedro’s counsel referred to Section 188(7) of the constitution to query the time limit given by the panel to the deputy governor to submit his response to allegations filed against him.
Responding, Hon. AbdulHakeem Abdulatif said Section 188 (7) (a&b) cited by Philips has no bearing to what was going on in court.
The lawmaker said the intention of the section was that the probe panel shall submit its report within three months and not necessarily wait till the expiration of three months.
He noted “What Section 188 (7) implies was that if this panel gives its report a day after three months such report will be null, void and irrelevant.
"In the same vein if the panel gives its report within a day or two the panel would have acted within three months. This is a grand design to unnecessarily delay the hearing of this matter.”
The lawmaker insisted that emergency situation like what was on ground requires emergency measure. He subsequently urged the panel to allow them adopt their written address.
At this point, he announced that already his client has tendered his resignation letter. He therefore submitted that the composition of the panel was irrelevant.
He immediately walked out of the panel without taking any leave.
Meanwhile, a cross section of lawyers last night reacted to Tinubu's rejection of the deputy governor's resignation letter. First to speak was West African Bar Association (WABA) President, Mr. Femi Falana who says that Section 36 of the 1999 Constitution provides for resignation on the part of elective political officials.
According to him, once a deputy governor has resigned, there is no provision in the constitution for the rejection of his resignation.
"As far as the law is concerned, once the letter of resignation is received by the appropriate authority, that is the end of his political career. In other words, Mr. Femi Pedro has ceased to be the Deputy Governor of Lagos State with effect from the 9 May, 2007", he added.
Posing a rhetorical question, Falana said: "If I may ask, what was the impeachable offence against Pedro?"
Also Lagos lawyer, Mr. Festus Keyamo said it was wrong for Tinubu to refuse to accept the resignation of his deputy, adding that what the rejection signposts is a desperate attempt by the governor to humiliate his deputy.
"The rejection is simply because it appears the governor is hell bent on humiliating the deputy governor. We should not as democrats complain of the attitude of President Olusegun Obasanjo against his vice, Alhaji Atiku Abubakar and then perpetrate the same tendency in our home state. It is very wrong", he stated.

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: This car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir, that's where I put it after I shot the owner of this car and stuffed his body in the
trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!

Driver: Yes sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation. The Captain slowly approached the driver,

Captain: Sir, can I see you license? Driver: Sure, here it is. It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration card.

Captain: Could you slowly open the glove box so I can see if there's a gun in there?

Driver: Yes sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told there was a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

The trunk is opened: no body.

Captain: I don't understand. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, and I'll bet he told you that I was speeding, too.

Tinubu is still in town. confirmed

This is for anyone that has ever started a new job and had teenage children at the same time.

My first day on my new job I find out that the reason there was a job opening for me was that the departmental “favorite” had been demoted and I was given her job. Needless to say, I was no one’s best friend. Each day I would come into work, no one would speak to me unless absolutely necessary and I watched the poor unfortunate soul weep. I was the office leper.

At the same time I also had a daughter that had just turned 18 and was finishing her last year in high school. Anyone who has lived through teenage girls knows, they know everything and live to educate their parents.

My daughter had complained of a back ache for several days so I made her an appointment with the family doctor. Now the child is old enough to remind us several times a day that she is an adult, but when it comes to getting to the doctor, she needs someone to go with her!

Since there was no way I would be granted time off, it was decided her dad would take her.

The afternoon of the appointment I called home to ask about her diagnosis. What follows is an actual conversation that took place in a small open cubicle office environment.

“Hi, it’s mom. What did the doctor say?”

“Hi mom, he said I have syphilis.”

For a moment I was too stunned to speak……, then, “He said what?”

“I have syphilis”

“You do not!” I finally stutter.

“Well, the doctor said I did!” she argued.

“Mari, the doctor did not say you had syphilis,” I answered her, too shocked to realize everyone could hear me!

“Mom, why do you bother calling me and asking me questions if you aren’t going to believe me!!”

“Mari, you do not have syphilis!”

“Whatever, mom,” another long suffering sigh, “you know everything!”

At this point, I’m getting frustrated with her, with her dad for not calling me, just everything, and my voice starts to rise……

”Syphilis is a sexually transmitted disease, Mari, you do not have it!”

“Then why did the doctor say I did?!?!? I guess you even know more then him!!”

As I took a breath preparing to answer her and continue the argument, I realized there wasn’t a sound in the entire office. Every person was sitting at their desks staring at me, waiting to see who had syphilis!! The look on their faces was priceless.

“Mari, you do not have syphilis!”

I figured there was no going back with my reputation in the office, so I should at least find out why my daughter thought she had a sexually transmitted disease.

“Please don’t tell anyone else that you do until I get back with you.”

“OK, mom, whatever.” Click. I’m sure she was rolling her eyes as she hung up.

So I called the doctor’s office and spoke with the nurse. The nurse explained to me that although my daughter was only a few weeks past her 18th birthday, she couldn’t really tell me what the doctor diagnosed.

“Well, here is what I know”, I told her, “Mari just told me she has syphilis!”

For the next few seconds all I heard was the nurse laughing in the phone. Once she had caught her breath she got out one word,

”Scoliosis!” she said between giggles.

The whole bizarre episode managed to somewhat break the ice with my co-workers, but it took another day for someone to get past the wall of silence to ask me about it!!!

unconfirmed report reaching me says that Tinubu and Nnamani has left the country for the fear of EFCC.

can someone confirm this?

,

Seven year old Susie approached her mother one morning and asked, "Mommie how old are you?" To which her mother responded, "Now Susie, that is not a question you should ask a woman."

Susie then replied, "Well, how much do you weigh?" Once again her mother said, "Susie that is another question you never ask a woman."

Perplexed, Susie was sitting on the steps when her best friend eight year old Anna came by. "Why so sad?" Anna asked. Susie replied, "I asked my mother how old she was, and how much she weighed, but she wouldn't tell me."

Immediately, the ever worldly Anna put her hands on her hips, lilted to one side and advised Susie to get her mother's drivers license out of her purse and she could get all the answers.

Triumphantly, Susie marched into the kitchen where her mother was preparing dinner and announced, "I saw your driver's license, and know you are 35 years old." She continued with, "And I know you weigh 135 pounds."

Susie's mother sighed and admitted to her age and weight.

Finally Susie exclaimed, "And, I know why you and Daddy got a divorce." Puzzled by this remark her mother asked, "How do you know this?"

Susie waved the license in the air, and replied:

"It says right here you got an "F" in sex!!"