₦airaland Forum

Aging Gracefully,

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

***

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home is it?"

***

I've sure gotten old. I've had two by-pass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, windy, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.

But, thank God, I still have my Arizona driver's license!

***

A 97-year old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered." "Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?" "You're damned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lower!"

An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Walmart. "Walmart!" The rabbi exclaimed, "Why Walmart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

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when he (OBJ) lost no 1 seat, he doesnt want to go below no3 seat in naija. protection of investment i would say

how many home videos have you watched to assume they are all blacks or which foreigner was barred from acting? post your fact and lets treat it. im not a home video freak but i know your claim is not accurate

security job in hand is better than white collar job in oblivion!

the best is to take the job and continue your search. ive discovered that most companies prefers employing people from an existing job. apart fom adding experience to your CV it helps pay some bills,by the way says you cannot climb tall from there?
i know a lot of people that have made it through security jobs,.

me here

try it and regret baby. u dont need an advice on wether to try it or not after saying one or two negs about him.

Tinubu is a master strategist now. What do u expect?

tough getting support on business capital. plan your business within your capital and follow its pace. if you beleive in the dream it will grow

How about codes of conduct as guiding principle for things we do that serves as lesson to others? we have culture to respect in Naija.

No wonder everyone wants to be like madonna and micheal doglas

yes ive been there before. most Girls like to eat their cake and have it. very slippery and selfish. when they are tired they wont say no or yes, just prefer to mess you up.

men if you can you better avoid heart explosion.

Going by the threat of EFCC to cage corrupt Governors after May 29th when they all must have lost their immunities against persecution. How many governors do you think will physically be present to hand over to their successors and how many will escape the sledge hammer of Ribadu?

what do you think?

i wonder what kind of food you buy yourself with ur money! by the way, do u eat the buka foods. why should buka food be a basis for the relationship? look beyond material ok! its well

i know her, her contribution is always useful though, but i think and suspect shes strategising for ministerial appointment or something. had i time i would have done the same thing for recognition.

thumbs up for her

the only solution is that u get a life partner now. all singles should get hooked with husband and wife then u can be sure of proper tidings. also get a maid

aren't u guys lucky complaining of boredom at work. i wonder what a jobless person should complain about. misery or hopelessness?

this guy is good. he is able to manage a relationship with God at the same time with satan! what side is he on anyway? he should henceforth be telling us who he is representing.

• 13 lawmakers submit motion to Speaker

Governor Joshua Dariye of Plateau State, who reclaimed his mandate yesterday after the Supreme Court last Friday nullified his impeachment by the state House of Assembly, may be faced with fresh troubles soon as 13 members of the legislature have signed and forwarded a fresh impeachment motion to the Speaker of the House, Hon Michael Dap-ialong, for endorsement.
Confirming this to THISDAY on phone, Honourable Damar, a member of the House, said: “It is true that the House now wants to follow the due process to impeach the governor. What is however not clear is whether the 13 lawmakers will still make two-thirds of the House to carry out a proper impeachment of the governor.”
Dariye was said to have drawn the lawmakers' wrath when he announced the dissolution of the Local Government transition committees set up by his Deputy, Chief Michael Botmang, and appointed a replacement.
Besides, the governor’s m-ove to conduct the local government election April 19, was also said to have infuriated the lawmakers.
In a press statement signed by the reinstated Secretary to the State Government, Mr John Gobak, Dariye had informed the general public to get prepared for the local government election, a development that is widely viewed by politicians as disadvantageous to the Peoples Democratic Party, PDP, which incidentally is in the majority in the state’s House of Assembly.
The statement says: "This is to inform the general public that Local government council election earlier scheduled for May 19, 2007 will hold as planned. In the mean time, Dariye has directed the Development Area committee Chairmen, Secretaries and members set up by him to return to their duty post immediately".
The governor had appointed the chairmen before he was impeached, and when Botmang came to power, he dissolved the committees, cancelled their appointments and posted some PDP members to take their places.
The committee chairmen took the Botmang's government to court and won the case against the state government, yet they were not called back.
But Dariye, on resumption, returned them to their original seats to plan and supervise the local government election scheduled for the 19th. This, political observers say, was the reason why the lawmakers are calling for Dariye's head.
Meanwhile, Dariye yesterday, in a long convoy, took a ride through the city of Jos.
In his tour, he visited the State Secretariat, Jos Main Market and a few other places where he addressed workers and residents of the ancient city.
The ride was however after holding a session with his reinstated executive council where several decisions like the dissolution of the local government transition committee members were taken. The deputy governor was however prominently absent from the council meeting.
Dariye, while addressing a large crowd including his reinstated cabinet members and some political leaders in the state, who had converged at the Government House, in the morning to greet him, had specifically extended a hand of fellowship to Botmang, whose whereabout remained unknown as at press time, saying, “all this dodge-dodge no-go-work”.
The governor’s veiled plea which formed part of the high points of his brief speech, coincided with the press release of the governor-elect, Air Cdr Jonah Jang in which he warned banks “against granting credit facilities to the state government outside funds for salaries”, insisting that offending banks will only have themselves to blame.
The press release issued on behalf of Jang and his deputy, Pauline Tallen, by the former’s Personal Assistant, Chris Gyang’ and dated April 28, warned that any financial obligation entered into with any bank, which went beyond “the payment of salaries and entitlements of civil servants and other overhead costs, will not be honoured by the in coming administration”.
Rationalising their position on a recent resolution passed by the state House of Assembly compelling the state government not to make any payments outside stipulated expenditures, Jang-/Tallen warned that, “the in-coming administration will not honour any facilities that were not secured through the process and against the House of Assembly resolutions”.
But the returnee-governor had directed the Ministry of Local Government and Chieftaincy Affairs to liaise with the state electoral commission over the proposed local government polls.
The directive, which may have jolted the opposition camp especially the PDP, was one of the policy statements, which Dariye had made Monday, as he formally resumed duties.
The governor further dissolved all appointments made by his deputy in his absence, including boards and parastatals’ appointments and local government transition comm-ittees/development areas committees, among others, just as most of the cabinet members earlier appointed by Botmang but now dropped in the new policy thrust, did not show up in their offices.
While soliciting for the support of the people in the state, Dariye, particularly pleaded with the striking civil servants in the state to go back to work, promising to sort out whatever grey areas with the government which may have compelled the strike.
In a related development, the PDP, Plateau state chapter, through its state chairman, Chief Silvernus D Lot, has condemned the Supreme court ruling, saying "it is unfair and lacks moral consideration as it failed to take into account the implication of the verdict on the fragile peace on in the state."
Responding to this, the reinstated Commissioner for Information, Hon Yakubu Datti, said "what 'peace' is it that lacks rule of law and justice? Such a 'peace' we reject, because such cannot stand the test of time. We do not want a 'peace' that lack justice. Infact, that is not Peace but oppression". The state has however remained calm.

thisdayonline.com

Lagos PDP governorship candidate Obanikoro out of hospital
The defeated governorship candidate of the People’s Democratic Party (PDP) in Lagos, Senator Musiliu Obanikoro who was hospitalised at St. Nicholas Hospital last Tuesday in Lagos had been discharged.

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@seun

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goodluck bro

dont loose a sleep over this if you are faithfull. your conscience is your defence.

The former chairman of the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA), Major General Musa Bamaiyi (rtd) is dead.
Bamaiyi, the elder brother of the detained former chief of Army Staff (COAS), Lt-General Ishaya Bamaiyi (rtd), died in Zuru, Kebbi State yesterday.
The deceased's son, Kaiku who confirmed the death of his father on telephone yesterday evening said late Bamaiyi had been ill of an undisclosed ailment in the last three days.
He said the deceased who died yesterday afternoon has since been buried in Zuru, his hometown according to muslim rites.
Isiaku said he would continue to have sweet memories of his late father who would have clocked years later this year.

http://www.thisdayonline.com/nview.php?id=75807

good talk fellas. i was just thinking of how he can possibly manage his sheeps and chase political ambition under the guise of God's call, what he would tell them if he looses this time. i mean he should be more realistic about his real ambition. no doubts he is brilliant and vibrant enough to run a country but its not a child's play to even become councillor of a ward of less than 10, 000 inhabitans not to talk of Nigeria. i think if he wants to be a politician he should and if its music, teaching or preaching it will be wise he chooses a profession and face it squarely.

i dont mean bad. i respect this chap

in 2003 rev. Chris contested the presidential election on the grounds that God sent Him but lost. now in 2007 hes running again with no sign of coming close to winning. hes a brilliant chap but wonder what he wants with politics and If god actually called somebody to lead he wont loose.

can anyone working in the spirit help find out if this man Rev. Chris Okotie is actually God sent

what do you think fellas!

baba iyabo simply forgot to declare the rest of this week public holiday and send all the judges on vacation in hawaii. glory for rule of law. smoke cannot be prevented from manifesting