Akuviv's Posts
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 Nairaland General › Re: Church Rewards The Student Who Returned N9.3 Billion To Bank by Akuviv: 11:44am On Oct 07, 2010 |
Missy ♥ B:Missy indeed HONESTY STILL PAYS IN NAIJA, Like it or not. Thumbs up Olukoya. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Blonde's Diary On A Cruise Ship by Akuviv(op): 11:35am On Oct 07, 2010 |
Thanks Clem. So na hooters dey make you assemble all these Aboki teeth come full Nairaland.  SKIPPING A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nods, "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor. "No, from skipping," replied the blonde. |
| TV/Movies › Re: MTN Project Fame West Africa: Season 3 by Akuviv: 11:32am On Oct 07, 2010 |
;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Let's Make the Olympics More Interesting! by Akuviv: 11:20am On Oct 07, 2010 |
Efemena_xy:Efe wetin be your own sef? It is a good thread, more over people are entitled to comment wherever and whenever they want to. Abi you be Antique Officer? Shooooo! |
| TV/Movies › Re: MTN Project Fame West Africa: Season 3 by Akuviv: 11:16am On Oct 07, 2010 |
Yea ! Couldn't help laughing though, you did fall at last. So sweet of you to indulge me. Women ! Just sweet names and you gladly fell with a big thud! Biliki your husband should harness this weakness.  |
| TV/Movies › Re: MTN Project Fame West Africa: Season 3 by Akuviv: 11:01am On Oct 07, 2010 |
awwwwww! My Sugar cake honey pop Yummy yummy o, my sweetie Pie (my fav. ring tone), so sorry about that fall. My darling Biliki, what a cute Puppy you got there! What's its name? Kamoru? |
| Sports › Re: Osaze Odemwingie Named EPL Player Of The Month by Akuviv: 10:55am On Oct 07, 2010 |
that's my son making me proud!  |
| TV/Movies › Re: MTN Project Fame West Africa: Season 3 by Akuviv: 10:53am On Oct 07, 2010 |
Yeah right we all want to identify with success, who told you your name is Chidinma? Bilikisu like you. |
| TV/Movies › Re: MTN Project Fame West Africa: Season 3 by Akuviv: 10:33am On Oct 07, 2010 |
@ Akunta: See your mind? What has your been a female got to do with it, So woman no deserve to be shown some love by an artist? Yes, Chidinma will grow into all that as her confidence level grows with more exposure and counselling. Did you not see how she metamorphosed from a shy-wreck to a power house? Give her time and she'll show you all the love you want female Akunta  |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Blonde's Diary On A Cruise Ship by Akuviv(op): 10:19am On Oct 07, 2010 |
Thanks KDK. Here's another for you. HOOTERS Sally was seen going into the woods with a small package and a large bird cage. She was gone several days but finally she returned. Her friend, Liz, had never seen Sally looking so sad. Liz said, "Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of days. Glad you got back okay, but you look so sad. Why?" Sally replied, "Because I just can't get a man." Liz said, "Well, you sure won't find one in the middle of the woods." "Don't be so silly," Sally said. "I know that. I went in the woods because I needed something there that would get me a man. But I couldn't find it." Liz said, "I don't understand what you're talking about." Sally replied, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of owls. I took some dead mice and a bird cage." "So, how's that gonna help you get a man?" asked Liz. Sally said, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to have a good pair of hooters." |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Blonde's Diary On A Cruise Ship by Akuviv(op): 10:11am On Oct 07, 2010 |
Thanks Clem for not finding it funny but flashed your teeth anyways. I tell you they are not aboki teeth (if I'm to borrow Kunbee's words) |
| TV/Movies › Re: MTN Project Fame West Africa: Season 3 by Akuviv: 10:08am On Oct 07, 2010 |
@ AKUNTA : Don't worry she will grow into, you sef want some love huh?  |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Blonde's Diary On A Cruise Ship by Akuviv(op): 9:20am On Oct 07, 2010 |
EFEMENA unless you have new original jokes, please just enjoy the joke and not tell us you've seen them before. Still waiting for your jokes though. THE BLONDE HUBBY On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat down in the den with her favorite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself. "How romantic!" she thought. Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served. She tip-toed to the kitchen and found it a colossal mess. Her harried blonde husband, removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, saw her in the doorway. "Almost ready!" he vowed. "Sorry it took me so long -- I had to refill the pepper shaker." "Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?" "More'n an hour, I reckon. Wasn't easy stuffin' it through those dumb little holes." |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Blonde's Diary On A Cruise Ship by Akuviv(op): 9:17am On Oct 07, 2010 |
Blonde Mary was a none-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn't find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "The wife of the defendant has identified you as the 'other woman' in her husband's life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Mary with a sniff, "but I couldn't help it." "Couldn't help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How's that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "He told the motel clerk I was his wife." |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Junior by Akuviv: 9:06am On Oct 07, 2010 |
Rosy chubby cheeks |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Junior by Akuviv: 9:05am On Oct 07, 2010 |
So funny! That boy is cute, no cute is an understatement. He is beautifully sweet! Please more adjectives would be appreciated. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Waka Waka Chuldren by Akuviv: 8:40am On Oct 07, 2010 |
Kunbee:Now this has become a joke thread indeed! Kunbee how Aboki teeth dey be? Gworo stained (with Nicotine), layers of plaque or what? |
| TV/Movies › Re: MTN Project Fame West Africa: Season 3 by Akuviv: 8:15am On Oct 07, 2010 |
I read from the Punch newspaper that our Chidinma performed at Adesuwa Onyenukwe's Today's Woman anniversary. Good for her. Now imagine Eyo entertaining guests at a function with M-----A---RI-----------------Y-----A---------------------N------A-! ?  |
| Celebrities › Re: Night After Omotola’s Album Launch by Akuviv: 8:10am On Oct 07, 2010 |
jennykadry:Haba Jennykadry we dey fight? Nobody is disputing the fact that he is handsome but like a wise poster :Dasked na wetin e dey fine for bush? Bush meat for Jennylove ? |
| Politics › Re: Facebook: Ibb Blocked My Comments by Akuviv: 5:02pm On Oct 06, 2010 |
dappssee:GBAM. Very true, non the less, God is with us, and truth will reign in this land. |
| TV/Movies › Re: MTN Project Fame West Africa: Season 3 by Akuviv: 9:51am On Oct 05, 2010 |
You need not be a contestant to dislike Eyo, for crying out loud did he deserve to win 3rd place? Haba let truth be told make Devil shame small. Eyo did not deserve to make the final 6!  |
| Sports › Re: Osaze Odemwingie Named EPL Player Of The Month by Akuviv: 11:01am On Oct 04, 2010 |
I know say Osaze my son go make me proud one day I am really proud of him, God help him retain this form! |
| Politics › Re: Facebook: Ibb Blocked My Comments by Akuviv: 10:05am On Oct 04, 2010 |
What were you expecting from a man who annulled June 12, to be objective enough as to accept your criticism? You really funny sha.I would be shocked if he permitted critics to continue despoiling his 'good' image.Please follow bjmighty's instruction. N.B Make sure you register and vote for a credible candidate else, your 'friend' IBB will come into power. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: My Conversation With Mr. 419 by Akuviv: 2:37pm On Sep 30, 2010 |
| Kai you no try at all, you for engage am for 55 minutes. Son of a Leprous woman indeed! |
| Celebrities › Re: Night After Omotola’s Album Launch by Akuviv: 1:10pm On Sep 30, 2010 |
@ Jennykadry : your profile pic got me reeling with laughter. Please send it to the jokes section. Is that your toaster? |
| TV/Movies › Re: Remember Those Days! Which Of The Programs Do You Miss? by Akuviv: 1:04pm On Sep 30, 2010 |
Secret of the sand Return to Eden Lady of the rose The Third Eye Forever Bold & Beautiful (I wonder why that programme is still on, e no dey finish?) |
| Family › Re: To Choose Btw Son's Birthday Or Step Son's School Fees! by Akuviv: 12:55pm On Sep 30, 2010 |
omo~fat: I love your irony and sense of humour. You no well |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Thief ! Funny Pix by Akuviv: 3:24pm On Sep 29, 2010 |
The joke is in Obj been caught as a thief, no be me call former Presido Ole. He is a combatant farmer I respect in a away! |
| TV/Movies › Re: Which Of These Tv Programs, Will You Dont Want To Miss by Akuviv: 3:14pm On Sep 29, 2010 |
googles: |
| Family › Re: To Choose Btw Son's Birthday Or Step Son's School Fees! by Akuviv: 12:35pm On Sep 29, 2010 |
Pay your step-son's school fees. Get a birthday cake and take pictures of your son. You can celebrate in arrears. |
| TV/Movies › Re: Which Of These Tv Programs, Will You Dont Want To Miss by Akuviv: 12:22pm On Sep 29, 2010 |
MTN Project Fame (despite giving Eyo 3rd place )Celebrity takes 2 |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Waka Waka Chuldren by Akuviv: 12:14pm On Sep 29, 2010 |
Guys to make up for his dry joke (?) please view his (Tonye-t) profile. |
