₦airaland Forum

all sentimental nonsense for Naija. Before you know it, they rope in tribe or religious talks. God dey o. I believe say I go eat the good of this land legitimately.

Eya ! May the Lord comfort you all and heal every pain. Take heart Chidi.

@ Mr. Cork : Abeg remove the log in your eyes first b4 taking off the speck in Chidi's eyes. The word should be DISGRACE & not ''this grace'' Otondo !

allabosky:
6sta plz dnt 4get to pack the kpekrus after scratching.

Imagine she will have to shake hands with some guy down the road!

daresam:
Wentın come concern me

Seeking for attention newbie? Now you've got a -ve one, GET OUT NOW!

For where ! the guy wey go colo for this 'ass scratching fine girl' no go know say dem don capture her put for NL Who know if somebody don settle her village Chief sef

Pls tell me this is photoshop or something If true then I'll be totally disappointed in Denrele.

Reminds me of a song we used to sing as kids '' craw craw dy for one boy nyansh, if e shit toilet go break, if e mess, thunder go blow'' I wonder what would happen if this girl decides to release a major?

ELE NU Na only mouth you get. Congo ko! Have you handled a catapault/sling ? Can you stand the sound of a fire cracker talkless of an Ak? Guy go and sit down abeg or you meet me at Yaba.

gunpoint:
@akuviv. . Hw dare u challenge me! State your rank dis minute nd God help u if u r nt a field marshal at least!

I am a constable! wetin you fit do? I go rub pepper for your eyes again (ref to Profile Pix). Field marshal ko India Amin ni

slap1:
I wanted a baby brother or sister and wished my mum (God bless her soul) would start eating lots of food so that her tummy would grow big and she'd get pregnant.

; so funny. If she ate amala then she'll have a very dark handsome son!   just kidding.

gunpoint:
I used to think i would one day rule the world in all my power and glorious military might.
Wait a minute. . . I already am living that dream!

Yeah right go get yourself Pinky to rule the world with little Brain!

@ RUG: Cannot help myself either that's the innocence of a child.

Very funny

@ LolaJoy: yes people do see white marks but I cannot really say it came from flapping hands and chanting to the birds


I used to think the sky touched the earth where my line of visibilty ends.

FUNNY INDEED!

I used to think that trees sped past our vehicle while my dad drove the car. when you swallow a guava seed, it will grow on your head, that way we kept away from all seeds.

When pelicans flew past, we spread our wings mimicing them and singing '' leke leke bango give me finger'' believing that we will get a white streak/mark on our finger nails.

@ Efe & Vicks : Could you stop this e-tango, exchange numbers and put this 'agony' to an end? This is suppose to be a joke thread not a , place for whatever is going on btw u two!

I thought adults don't poo so was very eager to become one so that I will quit defecating. Guys imagine my shock running into my dad coming out of the loo, the whole place boomed like hell. I realised he actually did poo cos it took over 30mins before the air refreshened. I was kind of disappointed in him cos he was my mini-Idol that never pooed.

Now I know better!

I know Tolu will go places. I'm just itching for Nicholas to release his album.

@ r231, Kokoye, and Jay bee

Correct people

see person wey never remove the iroko from her big eye balls want to remove speck from the lovely eyes of the masses on facebook! Kokoye fake is an understatement cos she's a Beyonce-wannabe and she fail big time!

JEWELAN Your profile picture contradicts everything you just said on this thread.

@Poster Please practice what you preach. Is that really you in your profile picture? Fake indeed!

No. Talk or write my advice later

I find this funny use your imagination

;d ;d

very funny

Believe me I scrolled back! I have forwarded it to all some friends

Hi All,

I got this from the Punch newspaper on line (Archives).

Cecilia Ibru forfeits N191bn assets, gets 18 months jail term
By Tony Amokeodo and Ademola Alawiye
Saturday, 9 Oct 2010

A Federal High Court in Lagos on Friday sentenced a former Chief Executive Officer of Oceanic Bank International Plc, Mrs. Cecilia Ibru, to 18 months imprisonment without an option of fine for granting $20m and N2bn credit facilities above the approved limit by the Central Bank of Nigeria.

The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission had prosecuted the ex-CEO on a 25-count charge of financial crimes before she entered into a plea bargaining with the anti-graft agency and pleaded guilty to a reduced three-count charge on Friday.

The Chief Judge of the FHC, Justice Dan Abutu, thereafter convicted Ibru on the said three-count charge and ordered the forfeiture of her N191bn assets comprising 49 properties in Nigeria, United States and Dubai, United Arab Emirates, to a Federal Government agency, the Assets Management Corporation of Nigeria.

The forfeited properties include shares in over 100 firms that are listed and not listed on the Nigerian Sock Exchange.

The CJ added that the convict was sentenced to a six-month imprisonment on each of the counts, saying that the terms would run concurrently.

The development indicated that the ex-banker would only spend six months in Ikoyi Prisons.

But the CJ added a caveat when he directed the prison authorities to take the convict to a highbrow hospital, Reddington Hospital, Victoria Island, Lagos, for continuation of treatment, following a passionate appeal by Ibru‘s lead lawyer, Prof. Taiwo Osipitan (SAN).

Osipitan, who led Mr. Wale Akoni (SAN) and other lawyers, had during an (plea for leniency), urged the court to take judicial notice of the fact that his client was suffering from chronic cardiac problem, saying that specialists in the hospital had to remove some gadgets from Ibru in order to allow her to come to court and take her plea.

He added that there was an agreement between the parties on his client‘s health status, urging the court to direct the prison authorities to return her to the hospital upon conviction.

He raised the alarm that his client‘s situation was critical and urged the court to avoid an unfortunate situation where a former member of the House of Representatives, Morris Ibekwe, who was in a similar situation, was ignored on the grounds that he was feigning sickness but eventually died.

Osipitan claimed that his client built the bank from nothing to something, saying that her prayer was that the bank should continue to grow while she attended to her failing health.

The appearance of the convict, who was assisted into the courtroom by her relatives in a blue skirt suit, showed that she was indisposed, as the court had to allow a doctor to attend to her during the proceeding.

But the lead lawyer to the EFCC, Mr. Kola Awodein (SAN), who led Dr. Konyinsola Ajayi, SAN, Mr. Damien Dodo (SAN), Mr. Godwin Obla and Mr Rotimi Jacobs, informed the court that justice was a three-way issue, saying that justice must be done on the case.

The senior advocate had earlier told the court that there was an agreement and urged the court to forfeit the properties attached to section VI of the settlement agreement to AMCON.

The CJ said, ”The accused is hereby convicted and sentenced to six months imprisonment on each of the three-count charge. The sentence is to run concurrently. In addition, all the assets set out in section VI of the settlement agreement are herby forfeited to AMCON.

“The prison authorities shall, not later than two hours after receiving the convict into their custody, take the convict to Reddington Hospital from where she was brought to court to continue her treatment until she is certified fit by the hospital authority to continue to serve her sentence in the prison.”

Ibru was sacked by the CBN along with the managing directors of four other banks on Aug. 14, 2009, following allegations of corruption, bad corporate governance practices and mismanagement of public funds.

The CBN had said last year that Oceanic Bank had a total non-performing loan of 278bn, which was 37 per cent of the total non-performing loan of the first set of rescued banks.

The CBN governor, Mr. Lamido Sanusi had said in an interview, “We looked at the institutions and saw in their books huge non-performing loans and when we entered the institutions, we discovered that 75 per cent of the non-performing loans were given to the companies directly related to the CEOs of those institution.”

The CBN alleged that Ibru engaged 19,000 workers for Oceanic Bank through a job consultancy firm fronting for her and the bank did not need such employees.

Another picture of his, believe me he dwared Mike with that angelic performance.

Here are some pix of Nicholas doing his during this season 3. The crowd was spell bound.

Kunbee practice what you preach, what happens to ''respecting other members''? Gosh I was just complimenting the baby, abi you dey jealous? If your cheeks dey dried and sucked, you need not hate! Give me a correct adjective now to describe this baby before I vex with you.

You can say that again Poor guy

Ill gotten wealth develop wings and fly, with time. Better is a little with honesty my brother, the time has come for the upright and deligent to prosper in Naija. Did I hear you say, Amen.

There's hope and a future for Nigeria. This is a new dispensation so change your Ideas.

GET A DICTIONARY



A blond guy visits the hospital. "I want to be castrated!" he demands cheerfully.

"Are you sure about this?" the doctor asks. "Have you discussed it with your wife?"

"Yes, yes! I've thought about this for a long time. Let's get it over with!"

So, the operation is performed. Since it's relatively simple, the blond guy only has to stay in the hospital for two days. On his way home, he meets a friend.

"Well, hello! I haven't seen you for a couple of days," his friend says.

"No, I've been to the hospital," replies the blond.

"Well, that's funny. I'm on my way there right now!"

"Really? So, what's up?"

"I'm going to be vaccinated."

"Oh, SHIT!! That's what it's called!"