₦airaland Forum

general111:
my bad.thought you was a male.
You never specified the type of relationship na.I thought it you mearnt dating..

Oya which one is easier to leave and do you have any experience leaving anyone of them, given the reasons above?

general111:
Relationship cost money.job gives money.do the maths Mr op?

Let's go with the assumption that it is a committed relationship (for example, with children involved). You have vested interest in some things, like property, etc.
I no be Mr oh.

Let's be honest, relationships take hard work. Lots of tolerance, patience and endurance in some instances. Same for holding down a good job and excelling in your career. They can both come with their blessings and good times. To be clear here, I'm referring to a long term and committed relationship like marriage. Sometimes, you go through tough times at work. There are legitimate reasons that can make you frustrated easily. Reasons like racism, sexual harassment and a very evil/ opportunist boss. Some reasons why people might get out of a committed relationship are: infidelity, diabolic habits and addiction.

I have heard of people who took that jump and left abusive relationships or job situations and went on to find something better soon after. But there are people who are chained down by a fear of the unknown and would rather stick to the familiar environment even if it is self destructive.

So I would like to know which one is easier to leave? An abusive relationship or a terrible job? Is there anyone here who took that leap of faith and regretted soon after? Are there any good testimonies?

Toniaeloho:
I plan on following your advice. It's surprising since my parents are well to do. I think they are just scared I will bring a poor boy from a tribe they hate and I will say I love him.

Do you have an older uncle/family friend or pastor who your parents respect? If yes, let them know. By the way you described the man, he would be authoritarian. Imagine him telling you that girls of those days never refused their parents choice? If you cannot find a way out, you should find a job and go and live with a relative or friend outside town. Just tell them that you have agreed but let them wait till after service. When you're through with service, you just remain in that town and lie that you have a new job. You can even threaten suicide. I feel for you oh, marriage is no joke.

Just an after thought. I hope you're a "good" girl? Because I have noticed that when some parents notice that their daughter is wayward, they start pushing for marriage.

This story would have gone completely left if the OP was a Muslim.

nextstep:
But the guy really fall hand. Is he trying to avoid being taken advantage of? Trying too hard to be "the man who don't pay for dates?" If you really are the man who doesn't pay for dates, the game should have been played differently. This lazy attempt is just embarrassing to true players.

I really admire the girl for playing it cool, and getting out of the messy situation with such finesse.

- you invite a girl out, yet expect her to deal with the logistics (car, where to go). You're a man, your duty is to handle this shit.

- if you invite a girl out, be prepared to spend. Don't be unreasonable and overspend, and don't be taken for a fool. But in this case, this guy really was a cheap ass with little understanding of social etiquette.

- there are so many girls who pay for their man... just not on the first few dates. And they pay serious too (clothes, rent, general upkeep) because you've won their hearts. Don't start being so vindictive about women just because she didn't take kindly to your stingy ass.

- if you don't want to be put in the role of provider, take her out to fun places - parks, museums, free concert, cheap ice cream, someplace different and fun. When you decide you want to get serious, you won't have to front and be a cheapskate because by then you two would have something meaningful.

Nobody is saying you have to take a girl out, but if you do, realize that even male birds bring gifts to their potential mates, and yes, often the female birds refuse because the size of the gift showed that the male was not serious.

Final note: it's true there are girls who will milk you dry, but if you take time to understand her before asking her out, you'll know which one was which, and avoid the milkers.

Exactly.

Missy89:
So she left him stranded with the bill and called him cheap? How about you pay for your food then walk away?

She paid for the movie, paid for transportation and you still want her to pay for her food?

truthsayer007:
You seem to forget she is in the US, you don't make such demands there.

if you ask someone out, its bill paying is 50/50, as a matter of fact, If and When you try to pay as a man, she might get angry and think you're seeing her as a prostitute. Please, I'm talking out of experience.

I'm not saying its right thing the guy did, But thats the culture over there. If you go out with a white girl, trust me, thats how its done.

Our culture is different here. I'm proud of our culture anyway, A Man should be a Man.

I think she covered transport fare and the movie. The food is the remaining 50%. This is if we follow your logic. And in that case, he is still stingy.

UdohOby:
Thank you my dear. Most Nigerian girls have turned to gluttons, and what makes it so annoying is that most of them can't afford what they eat on dates. I am not in support of the guy per say, but I feel the girl may have consumed more than required.

Did she also watch more than what was required? I think she paid for the movie. She also drove there. She can afford a car and fuel but you think she's a glutton who can't afford what she eats on dates?

AfonjaStinks:
Okay
Let me rephrase it

Every pussy have a signature odor

E don dey change mouth.

AfonjaStinks:
Every pussy stinks

Every? I feel sorry for the one that brought you into this world.

Kdiva:
all of you calling her a gold digger or dependent female ,did you actually read what she typed? she drove to his house to pick up the lazy being... he asked her out and not the other way round. the people here claiming team white girls.. do you actually think she won't dump your will @ss if you don't attempt to pay for the date YOU asked her out on? smh.. and the females here claiming miss Independent, I reserve my comments.

Dem dey find man. They want likes/shares and dm.

JeffreyJamez:
Me no understand why una dey yab the girl o.... Obviously she ain't broke.. Na she drive go carry the idiot boy from house..


The babe dey her own, the fool disturb her life say he wan spoil her...... Did she beg for it?


Make una dey use sense judge.

Leave all this nairaland girls typing comments for likes from guys and dm. If you ask someone out you should take responsibility for most of the money that would be spent. Simple courtesy.

beautiful232:
Lol

so just because he didn't pay for your movie made him a stingy guy?


when you start giving yourself respect by paying your bills you will see guys that will respect you and do much more then paying for your movie

broke ass gal...be looking for who to take you buy you dinner and pay for your movie


NONSENSE!!!!

I've noticed that most nairaland single women just type stuff to get the approval of men.

AfonjaStinks:


This is the one of the many reasons why i will never spend money on any girl

Make i die any day i spend or give money to any girl excluding my sisters

Why won't she spend on me or give me some money ??

Why would i spend money on any girl ??

Does she work for me ??

What else does she bring to the table except her stinky pussy ??

Eyah. It's only stinky pussy girls that are attracted to you.

UdohOby:
Only God knows what you ate that made him change his mind not to pay your bills.

I even found it so difficult to comprehend what she was writing.

As a single girl, I never ate more than what I could pay for on a date, I always went out with money on any date I had. Ladies of nowadays, I no dey too understand them sef. The kind of respect I got from the guy I was dating then and his friends was awesome. He always told his friends that I was so independent.
Maybe when young ladies stop depending on men to take care of their every need, we will start getting our respect back. The kind of insult I read from NL guys to ladies these days is really disheartening.
#bringbackourrespectladies

It's like you're looking for boyfriend on nairaland

She's not wearing her waist trainer. This is toolz in real life.

firefox4th:
Trump is a better choice although he cannot stop the power shift.

Why is he a better choice?

firefox4th:
If Hillary wins then America will lose its numero uno in the world to evidently, China.Just mark it this had been revealed to me since 1998 ,this has been manifesting since the start of job export to the same China and if you notice during this Obamas regime Americas rating is griefiously affected just becos of his largely failed foreign policy and some wrong domestic decisions.Interestingly, Hillary is bent on pursuing same goals.

what other things have been revealed to you?

No sh¡t Sherlock. Anyone who has been watching the news lately would know this.

wedeonline:
This has to be the best post from a feminist i have read in a long while..As a successful woman knowing how ro find the balance is key when relating to men.. Make them feel like the head and respected at the end its a win win for you. If she lives just as she as wrote she is definetely a 21st century wife material.

Who is the feminist here? Afipko chick that was deported from the US for running a prostitution ring abi? This woman is the igbo version of Kemi Olunloyo.

LePrezident:
Now let me tell you why this gentleman is so conceited and so much into humself:



You don't have to tell your significant other that you bring out the best in the person... Who even does that... if you do bring out the best in your partner, you will not need to blow the horn, your partner will tell you. same goes with loving someone unconditionally. people will point it out to you not you praising yourself. It didn't sound like a proposal to me, sounded like self-praise.

And in proposal picture was 'not not'. Of all the pictures he could post or angle he could capture, he captured the one showing his face whiles the lady's back is turned towards us (the viewers). It shows conceit, the proposal is about the lady and not you gentleman, so let's see her face not yours.

I agree. I sense some narcissistic tendencies.

greggng:
Shame to his enemies

Who are his enemies?

There are pensioners that have not been paid since January.

deriod:
and do you think its easy owning a business in nigeria?

Easy in terms of what? Apart from overhead costs, what other costs can be higher in Nigeria? Remember that this is just fashion industry o, not oil and gas or importation.

omonla555:
If it's Oyinbo thing, they will appreciate it even the price is N6m. SLAVES

Italian design of same material and colour, they will appreciate. I don't know when Blacks will appreciate themselves. Mad People with bad slave mentality

Don't lie. Even Polo Ralph Lauren silk shirt can be less than £100 in their outlet stores. Tommy Hilfiger too. These designers have been in existence even before some of these Nigerian designers were born. Some of them pay tax as high as 30%. Many of them use models straight out of Victoria Secret runway as face of their brands. Do you know that Diane Von Furstenberg interns are paid up to £22000/annum? If you apply to intern with naija designers, they will throw peanuts at you and still overprice their substandard clothing.

PUSH1:
Yes it should cost more.
The cost of doing biz in Nigeria is something else

Please explain why a designer should charge more than a seamstress? If you bought this fabric and gave it to your neighbourhood tailor it won't be more than 10k.

Naija designers are just doing themselves. Even if it's silk, it's too much. I can get this for less at either tkmax, dvf or Ralph Lauren outlet stores. I give una Beyoncé hand.

zeezeegal:
He's a senior lecturer ooo. what can we do?

Social media. Go on twitter. That's what people do these days. Remember how similar cases of abuse have been dealt with? By the time it becomes very public, the school will start denying him sef.

zeezeegal:
when i saw ksp lecturer slapped a student i knew is no other person than zubairu. That man is heartless... That was how he hit ma coursemate lastweek and pushed her. i pray he dooesnt lecture HND 2 Statistics next year.

What are you guys doing about it? What is the worst that could happen if you revolt?