Cassahav:

I am a fortysomething man in a long-term relationship – nearly 20 years – and have two children. For the past 10 years my partner has been having short-term lovers. These were clandestine, but more recently she has stopped hiding, called our relationship “open”, and currently has a lover who I do know about. But this “open relationship” can only be one-sided, because she is jealous and suspicious while I am basically not polyamorous. So why stay together? We get on, communicate well (other than the no-go zone of her other love life), rarely argue, are bonded by bringing up our children and are financially tied together.

However, the years of suppressing my emotions – of jealousy, rejection, insecurity, being lied to – have left me broken. Sex (which we still occasionally do have) has become stressed: if I don’t perform enthusiastically, it will justify her seeking other lovers. Also, I am expected to remain sexually attracted to her, which gets more difficult when I know she’s been with someone else recently. We had frank talks when she offered to end her extramarital affairs and be monogamous with me – or plan how we might separate without affecting our children. We were both very upset, as we are very much still in love, and wish the sex side of our relationship wasn’t such a terrible mess.

But it has occurred to me that I am emotionally and sexually broken after this past decade. If I was single again – or my partner was to become monogamous with me again – I don’t think I would be a viable person to be in a relationship with. How do I start to repair myself, inside or outside this relationship?

Any advice would be cool.

KolaShangOne:
Good evening everyone..
I was sent this plan.. A 3 bedroom + office measuring about 22m x 9m.
Need constructive criticism. And rate the architect from 1-10.

rotecch77:


The project is in final finishings stage now

To clear your doubt look at the ground. Floor sketch I later did little modification to final drawing to accommodate it
( ground floor is about 12 shop and 2 toilet, upper floor 3 shops and 5 units of mini flats…. Room and parlor self contain ) people always asked me how did do it

Here are some pics… besides. 30*120 is still much available as halve plot in Lagos ooo , it’s Depends on area

Oviebright:
How much can an architect charge for designing of a 4 flat upstairs. And for decking site supervision. Mine charged me 200k for design and 120k for decking supervision. Is it gfair or expensive? I'm helping a friend build his house cos he's not presently around.

somehow:
Please house, can a half plot of land take 4 units of 2 bedroom flats with car park of like 4 cars?

Though somone said the down floor can be used for the car park by constructing a "suspended/hanging" foundation.

Tallesty1:
No matter how much meat I buy, it will always finish before the food/soup.

Any trip to the kitchen means eat one meat.

efficiencie:


Choose the area of tech you want to start with then search Google using the right keywords. That's how I hunt for books online. For example if i need books on data engineering I could search for data engineering, pdf then I would download all books with the [pdf] marker.

efficiencie:


Choose the area of tech you want to start with then search Google using the right keywords. That's how I hunt for books online. For example if i need books on data engineering I could search for data engineering, pdf then I would download all books with the [pdf] marker.

Nazgul:
Marriage became useless to men because we abandoned our culture and tradition and embraced that of the Western world.

When you start sleeping with girls from the age of 16 and have a body count of close to 50 girls by the time you're 30, what usefulness do you expect to get from marriage? Truth is even you the man wouldn't value the marriage and would immediately resume your sexcapade after your honeymoon

The only way to restore decorum in African marriages is to embrace back our culture.

Pre marital sex must be seen as an abomination, those who practice it would be banished from their community.

Virginity test should be one of the requirements a girl must possess before marriage can take place, this will reduce promiscuity in girls.

A law should be passed that ràpists would earn in instant death sentence upon conviction. This would reduce promiscuity in guys cos no one would be willing to risk his life for a few minutes of pleasure.

Also there should be laws governing marriages that would make unfaithful partners risk jail term.

Once this measures can be put in place, I strongly believe that marriages would become as rosy as it was meant to be. And wouldn't be useless to both men and women.

kenzysmith:
We Nigerian men are the biggest pretenders we will all form holy than thou just to deceive the gullible around us why we watch porn in our phones we come on line to bash women and girls on line but we can't stay for a month without looking for toto
If hypocrisy have a meaning I think we Nigeria mean is the clear definition

Pastor they pretend for public but dey beg in the secret

efficiencie:
If you get the mind go into tech. All the years you spent doing overnight studying nonsense in school would have paid off if you studied for tech roles. Books on tech are available for free online. There are open source/free technologies that you can learn in web development, machine learning, database design and querying, data engineering, data analysis/visualization etc. Plus you can get a remote US, Canada etc jobs that can pay you well. Check out www.turing.com, https://weworkremotely.com/ and https://vanhack.com/ to access remote jobs when you are ready.

Schooling has evolved. Don't go and spend years studying nonsense and expect to land a job quickly. Spend time developing skills that will turn you into a problem solver for both domestic and international employers.

Nobody will pay you to come sit down and look. You need to able to fix problems that earn employers money or help them deliver great products or services ...otherwise you go tey for house!

Devilagentcap:
Which Kain Wahala be this for Friday afternoon. See ehn, some people get problem sha. Issue of 9yrs naim you come dey somersault ontop. Pikin of 9rs old don dey jss1.

Well woman 2 get issue, you life no move forward to come dey reclaim smtin you sold in 2013.

Ternistacle:
My girlfriend and I can have our time(sex) the whole day and even be naked. But a normal day when she wanna dress up, she will ask me to close my eyes or leave the room. I noticed it .. why is that so??

citywal:
A dating advice question I get asked a lot by women/men is "Should you have sex on the 1st date? When is the best time to sleep with a guy/girl? Is it bad for a woman/man to have sex with a guy on the first date?".

Please if you like this video don't forget to support us by subscribing to our youtube channel and also like, comment and share this video to encourage us to keep making interesting videos like this.

Thanks



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xM5PQgmh1Ys

MrBrownJay1:


stop using SENTIMENTS and instead use your brain as to how to solve this issue. this has nothing to do with the sanity of a 21yr old guy having sex twice a week...it is about them making everything possible in their power to NOT get this babe pregnant. now unfortunately an accident happened and they NEED TO FIX IT! when these guys started having sex, they BOTH didnt want to get her pregnant, so why should that change today, knowing fully well that they cant take care of a child (emtionally/physically/financially)?!?!?!

BTW they BOTH had sex thus BOTH should be blamed, and not only the dude!

MrBrownJay1:


tell her the truth about how you feel...tell her you dont want this baby, tell her you have no plan to be with her nor in this baby life, let her understand from the get go that you aint got what she wants from you (aka step up to be that baby's father ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU WERE WEARING CD)....dont go about being all gentle about it, go straight to the point! this is a mistake that you both did, and that needs to be fixed. at best, she will be a single mother with a baby daddy!