₦airaland Forum

There was this lady called Nike in my neighborhood who I'd been scoping for a long time, as a matter of fact, it's been over four months 'cos I can remember vividly that it all started on one cool saturday evening, 5th of January to be precise. I don't want to bore you with how it all pawned out to be, but in a nut-shell she declined me, and offered me friendship instead. On the first day of April, something terrible happened. She called my phone and the following conversation ensued:
Nike: Hello cutie.
Me: (surprised) Hey beauty, how are you? Am so happy to hear from you.
Nike: I'm all alone at home and I was kind of wondering if
you can come over at my place because I'm feeling very
Hot right now.
Mechocked) OMG! I'll be right there in 5 minutes.
At the girl's house...
Nike: Are you going to keep looking at me or take off your
clothes and let's have sex?
I took of my clothes in a hurry, feeling very excited. After taking off my clothes...
Nike: (laughing and shouts) APRIL FOOL!
If you were the one in my shoes what will you do?

malchy:
IF YOU ARE IN ABUJA AND YOU ARE GOOD IN OPENCART ECOMMERCE PACKAGE. PLZ DROP YOUR CONTACT I WILL CONTACT YOU ASAP. THANKS

Can't we do biz online? I base in lagos.

greatnaija01:
lols JUST ask if a woman can give birth to many children then why is it morally wrong for one man to date several babes...........

This your question get as e be o. Me am not there o

I just came across this online now, and it got me. "If a single teacher can't teach us all d subjects, then.. How could u expect a single student to learn ALL subjects??" What's your reaction on this?

Fellow brothers and sisters in Islam am using this medium to invite you to an online islamic forum where we can learn, and as well teach the little we know. Let's join hands to tell people - muslims and non muslims - what islam really is. The website/forum is http://www.islamicfrat.com Jazakhallahu khaera.

Only a few seats left, book yours now.

IceDude:
They get Aircraft we get Witchcraft

Na xo my broda...

There is a web design / development training coming up this 10th of October. It is surely going to be a life-changing seminar where you'll learn a lot about web design/development. Also there are some freewares to give out. Check 'em out on this link to see for yourself. [size=15pt] http://www.izzysms.com/training.html[/size]

Eleyi gidi gan o

Here are some words of advice to a son by his father about his marriage. What do you think about 'em?

1. My son, if you want to have a long life, let your wife be in- charge of your salary, it will be difficult for her to spend it when she’s aware of the home needs and bills to pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep you asking even when all has been spent.

2. My son, there is this thing you people call feminism, well, if a woman claim to have equal right with you in the house,
divide all the bills into two equal parts, take one part and ask her to start paying the other part.

3. My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore it because she was angry, I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother.

4. My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her, help your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours.

5. My son, your mother and I are not interested in what happens in your marriage, try to handle issues without always coming to us.

[size=15pt]You can also be a web designer/ developer if you want to. Let's get it all started here: http://www.izzysms.com/training.html[/size]

Who says america pass naija, wetin dem get wey we nor get? Check am...

Everything they get we get am too;

They get Mohammed Alli, we get Bash Alli.

They get T. pain, we get T.maya.

They get T.I, we get M.I.

They get 2-pac, we get 2- face.

They get Beyonce, we get Tiwa savage.

They get Lil wayne, We get Terry G.

They get Timberland, We get DON JAZZY!

They get wiz khalifa, we get wiz kid.

They get Hollywood,we get nollywood

They get Silicon valley, we get Computer village.

They get Mac Donnalds, we get Mr. Biggs.

They get Las Vegas, we get Lasgidi.

They get Miami Beach, we get Lekki Beach.

They get Al Paccino, we get Peter Edochie.

They get Pirate of d Caribbean, we get Pirate of Aba.

They get beauty and the beast we get Bianca and Ojukwu,

They get Mr Bean, we get Mr Ibu,

They get American Lotto, we get Baba Ijebu.

They fear Al Qaeda, we fear Boko Haram abi na lieeeeee??

[size=15pt]You can also be a web designer/ developer if you want to. Let's get it all started here: http://www.izzysms.com/training.html[/size]

mrlaw93:
h

space booker

Esiri111:
Yes, it is a fact that bulk SMS business is a very lucrative business for serious people, and it is possible to make up to 70K/mth that's why you see many people go in for it.

People must have realized that;
Not everyone reads Newspapers
Not Everyone watches TV
Not Everyone listens to Radio
But everyone reads SMS
so advertisements and information dissemination are now done via SMS

Over 20 million Nigerians send BULK SMS and people like you are being paid for that.

Now you don't need to Pay 15000 - 20000 to own a bulk SMS portal, I will show you how to do it yourself from scratch in EBook,

The book costs only N500

Tools which include;
1) The eBook
2) Joomla CMS
3) SMS Component
4) Bonus GSM Number generator

All for Just N2000
or you can buy only the eBook for N500

if you're interested call 08189149316 or click the link on my signature.

Nice one.

Despite Chinedu Ikedieze's success, the actor popularly known as Aki, is still not fulfilled because he believes that by this time in his life, he should have bagged a Ph.D degree.He tells Punch

Aside obtaining my first degree in mass communication at The Institute of Management and Technology (IMT), Enugu, I had the opportunity to go to New York Film Academy in 2004. I did film acting, it is like a certificate programme and I have learnt over the years on the job too. By now, the way I had it in mind when I finished school, I should have had my second Master’s degree if not Ph.D. Each time I think along that line, other things come to mind and I am not happy about that. When you see me again, I might just be finishing a particular course.

Check this link out, you could need it. No knowledge is a waste. http://www.izzysms.com/training.html

PDP acting National Chairman Uche Secondus (left) and Kogi state governor Idris Wada with his certificate of return. See anything wrong? This might be what you've been looking for http://www.izzysms.com/training.html

A teacher shows three toys to a student and asks the student to find out the differences. All the three toys are seemed to be identical in their shape, size and material. After keen observation, the student observes holes in the toys. 1st toy it has holes in the ears. 2nd toy has holes in ear and mouth. 3rd toy has only one hole in one ear.
Than with the help of needle the student puts the needle in the ear hole of 1st toy. The needle comes out from the other ear. In the 2nd toy, when the needle was put in ear the needle came out of mouth. And in the 3rd toy, when the needle was put in, the needle did not come out.
First toy represent those people around you who gives an impression that they are listening to you, all your things and care for you. But they just pretend to do so. After listening, as the needle comes out from the next ear, the things you said to them by counting on them are gone. So be careful while you are speaking to this type of people around you, who does not care for you.
Second toy represent those people who listens to you all your things and gives an impression that they care for you. But as in the toy, the needle comes out from mouth. These people will use your things and the words you tell them against you by telling it to others and bringing out the confidential issues for their own purpose.
Third toy, the needle does not come out from it. These kinds of people will keep the trust you have in them. They are the ones who you can count on.
Moral:Always stay in a company of a people who are loyal and trustworthy. People, who listen to what you tell them, are not always the ones you can count on when you need them the most. Check this link out http://www.izzysms.com/training.html, it could be what you've been looking for. Thanks.

When Nigeria now talks the world listens. That's what is known as change.

Icecomrade:
Vote PDP. Amaechi andd Fashola's administration has shown how corrupt APC governance has been.

Vote out APC. Vote wisely

When? Abi what is this one saying?? Orisirisi

lekjons:
11. don't post ur problems on Nairaland, it won't make front page and u won't find a reasonable solution(as most nairalanders aren't in a relationship/married)

True yarn

MsRemarkable:
Arrange your post let it look neat na! Haba!

No be my fault na my 3310 blackberry cause am. No vex...

1. Don't tell anybody how weak your partner is someone may use it against them. 2. Don't tell people how much you quarrel with your partner, make them see it as perfect from outside while you settle issues from inside. 3. Don't tell even a best friend how much you get as pocket allowance from your husband, if they ask tell them that he's giving more than you expected. 4. Men don't tell your friends how good your wife is in bed, that's a secret between you and your wife. 5. Don't ever tell your mother the way he or she is acting in the marriage, you won't like the outcome if she's a jealous mother-in-law. 6. Ladies, a friend may be eyeing your hubby and that's why you shouldn't tell them what moves him most.
7. Even your pastor is not worthy to know how many times you quarrel with your husband, most of them will use it as sermon. Just talk to God alone. 8. Don't tell the children that their father is a bad man. It can make them hate him.
9. Don't tell anybody your partner's past mistakes, it is too risky for your marriage.
10. Don't tell anyone to try seducing your partner to prove their loyalty. They may end up winning their love.

Funny Nigerian Politicians... 1) When they loot money, they keep it in Switzerland. 2) When sick, they go to Germany. 3) When investing, they go to America. 4) When buying Mansions, they visit London. 5) When shopping they go to Dubai. 6)When on holidays, they visit Paris or Bahamas. 7) When educating their children, they select Europe. When praying, they go to Saudi Arabia or Jerusalem. 9) BUT, when they DIE, they all want to be BURIED in NIGERIA..... I beg help me ask them, is NIGERIA A CEMETERY