₦airaland Forum

Eleyi gidi gan o

Here are some words of advice to a son by his father about his marriage. What do you think about 'em?

1. My son, if you want to have a long life, let your wife be in- charge of your salary, it will be difficult for her to spend it when she’s aware of the home needs and bills to pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep you asking even when all has been spent.

2. My son, there is this thing you people call feminism, well, if a woman claim to have equal right with you in the house,
divide all the bills into two equal parts, take one part and ask her to start paying the other part.

3. My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore it because she was angry, I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother.

4. My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her, help your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours.

5. My son, your mother and I are not interested in what happens in your marriage, try to handle issues without always coming to us.

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Who says america pass naija, wetin dem get wey we nor get? Check am...

Everything they get we get am too;

They get Mohammed Alli, we get Bash Alli.

They get T. pain, we get T.maya.

They get T.I, we get M.I.

They get 2-pac, we get 2- face.

They get Beyonce, we get Tiwa savage.

They get Lil wayne, We get Terry G.

They get Timberland, We get DON JAZZY!

They get wiz khalifa, we get wiz kid.

They get Hollywood,we get nollywood

They get Silicon valley, we get Computer village.

They get Mac Donnalds, we get Mr. Biggs.

They get Las Vegas, we get Lasgidi.

They get Miami Beach, we get Lekki Beach.

They get Al Paccino, we get Peter Edochie.

They get Pirate of d Caribbean, we get Pirate of Aba.

They get beauty and the beast we get Bianca and Ojukwu,

They get Mr Bean, we get Mr Ibu,

They get American Lotto, we get Baba Ijebu.

They fear Al Qaeda, we fear Boko Haram abi na lieeeeee??

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mrlaw93:
h

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Esiri111:
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Nice one.

Despite Chinedu Ikedieze's success, the actor popularly known as Aki, is still not fulfilled because he believes that by this time in his life, he should have bagged a Ph.D degree.He tells Punch

Aside obtaining my first degree in mass communication at The Institute of Management and Technology (IMT), Enugu, I had the opportunity to go to New York Film Academy in 2004. I did film acting, it is like a certificate programme and I have learnt over the years on the job too. By now, the way I had it in mind when I finished school, I should have had my second Master’s degree if not Ph.D. Each time I think along that line, other things come to mind and I am not happy about that. When you see me again, I might just be finishing a particular course.

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PDP acting National Chairman Uche Secondus (left) and Kogi state governor Idris Wada with his certificate of return. See anything wrong? This might be what you've been looking for http://www.izzysms.com/training.html

A teacher shows three toys to a student and asks the student to find out the differences. All the three toys are seemed to be identical in their shape, size and material. After keen observation, the student observes holes in the toys. 1st toy it has holes in the ears. 2nd toy has holes in ear and mouth. 3rd toy has only one hole in one ear.
Than with the help of needle the student puts the needle in the ear hole of 1st toy. The needle comes out from the other ear. In the 2nd toy, when the needle was put in ear the needle came out of mouth. And in the 3rd toy, when the needle was put in, the needle did not come out.
First toy represent those people around you who gives an impression that they are listening to you, all your things and care for you. But they just pretend to do so. After listening, as the needle comes out from the next ear, the things you said to them by counting on them are gone. So be careful while you are speaking to this type of people around you, who does not care for you.
Second toy represent those people who listens to you all your things and gives an impression that they care for you. But as in the toy, the needle comes out from mouth. These people will use your things and the words you tell them against you by telling it to others and bringing out the confidential issues for their own purpose.
Third toy, the needle does not come out from it. These kinds of people will keep the trust you have in them. They are the ones who you can count on.
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When Nigeria now talks the world listens. That's what is known as change.

Icecomrade:
Vote PDP. Amaechi andd Fashola's administration has shown how corrupt APC governance has been.

Vote out APC. Vote wisely

When? Abi what is this one saying?? Orisirisi

lekjons:
11. don't post ur problems on Nairaland, it won't make front page and u won't find a reasonable solution(as most nairalanders aren't in a relationship/married)

True yarn

MsRemarkable:
Arrange your post let it look neat na! Haba!

No be my fault na my 3310 blackberry cause am. No vex...

1. Don't tell anybody how weak your partner is someone may use it against them. 2. Don't tell people how much you quarrel with your partner, make them see it as perfect from outside while you settle issues from inside. 3. Don't tell even a best friend how much you get as pocket allowance from your husband, if they ask tell them that he's giving more than you expected. 4. Men don't tell your friends how good your wife is in bed, that's a secret between you and your wife. 5. Don't ever tell your mother the way he or she is acting in the marriage, you won't like the outcome if she's a jealous mother-in-law. 6. Ladies, a friend may be eyeing your hubby and that's why you shouldn't tell them what moves him most.
7. Even your pastor is not worthy to know how many times you quarrel with your husband, most of them will use it as sermon. Just talk to God alone. 8. Don't tell the children that their father is a bad man. It can make them hate him.
9. Don't tell anybody your partner's past mistakes, it is too risky for your marriage.
10. Don't tell anyone to try seducing your partner to prove their loyalty. They may end up winning their love.

Funny Nigerian Politicians... 1) When they loot money, they keep it in Switzerland. 2) When sick, they go to Germany. 3) When investing, they go to America. 4) When buying Mansions, they visit London. 5) When shopping they go to Dubai. 6)When on holidays, they visit Paris or Bahamas. 7) When educating their children, they select Europe. When praying, they go to Saudi Arabia or Jerusalem. 9) BUT, when they DIE, they all want to be BURIED in NIGERIA..... I beg help me ask them, is NIGERIA A CEMETERY

lordtosan:
i told your mother to abort you that you will turn out this way when she was pregnant, but your foolish mother wouldn't listen. See, how st.upid you have turned out after graduating. Nairaland now have to deal with another fool whose birth is a product of broken condom wore by a brick-layer father who kept pounding hard on your sex-maniac, HIV-ravaged mother. You are really representing your family. I'm not surprised

What was that crap? I really sympathize with those things (ur dad and mum) that own you.

lordtosan:
Just as i know your father is my age-mate.

Eyah!!!!! Not ur fault that you're senseless and immature, it's definitely because it's a hereditary trait in your lineage. Baboon

lordtosan:
i'm afraid, you have said nothing. Try twice as hard again. Nairaland awaits the day you make half a sense.

Now I know you are a kid.

lordtosan:
sure enough the pleasure is mine. Those who did the opposite affected the status of the country. I will furnish you with some facts.

1). Under Jonathan's regime, Nigeria became African largest economy.

2) The moribund rail-way system was revamped and set running under Jonathan's regime

3) schools were established for the almajiri in the North a prickle past northern presidents didn't deem fit to fix.

4) Federal deplorable roads which were death-traps at best where constructed under the auspices of Jonathan. Benin-ore road comes to mind.

5) PHCN was privatised which saw a significant improvement in the spasmodic epileptic power supply we previously had, a feat which we still enjoy and even Buhari had admitted was the industry of Jonathan.

6) Jobs were created through 'youwin' initiative and exceptional graduates were given scholarship to pursue postgraduate degree through pressid scholarship scheme. My brother was a beneficiary.

7) The aviation sector improved greatly which recorded only one or two plane crash in Jonathan's entire tenure unlike previously where plane crash was the order of the day, sosoliso plane crash etc.

I can keep naming if you want. And to think Jonathan achieve this feats when the country was war-torn with boko haram distracting him, is really a wonder many of you care to notice. Jonathan was able to achieve these feats because he understood 'BODY LANGUAGE' leadership are for illiterates. Hence, he had a blue-print. Unlike the old illiterate buhari who is a specialist at slowness.

Bravo!!!!! But am so much disappointed in you with the answer you gave above. Why? Because, former president Jonathan only governed Nigeria for just six years and not the whole 16 years since 1999. Secondly, all these weren't achieved in his 100 days in office, majority of em came in his last year in office. Sir, have you forgotten one popular saying that says "you can't continue doing the same thing over and over again, and expect a different result"? Don't let the love of your party or your being loyal to GEJ cloud your sense of reasoning. Thanks. Am neither a Jonathanist nor am I a Buharist. I am a Nigerian.

Hope say pesin no die? May God put a stop to all these kain occurrences o, amen.

lordtosan:
We are already seeing the change you promised sir.

You are the first president to delay nominating your ministers for this long and leaving the various ministries dangling on the throes of directionlessness. That's the change
you are the first president whose core appointments have greatly run fowl to the spirit of federal character enshrined under chapter 2 of our constitution, favouring only your region and have put a razor in the unity of Nigeria. That's the change.

You are the first president who keep blaming his predecessor and touring round the world like a rock-star every passing day without focusing on the task of governance for which you were elected. That's the change!

You are the first president to have denied all the promises you made during your campaign after some i.diots voted you in. Thats the change.
You are the first who rules with BODY LANGUAGE as if you are tossing a girl without a clear blue-print of how to run the country. That's the change
mr president sir, you are indeed a change. I thought Jonathan was the most clueless president we have ever had until you buhari came into power. Jonathan cluelessness pale against yours with all due respect. I thought you were just an illiterate who didn't see the four walls of a university, i was wrong. it seems you later when to school and had a PHD in cluelessness.

Only one question for you, sir. How better did those who did the opposite of what you wrote up there affect the status of this country? I will be very grateful if you can answer this question, sir.

The best thing I guess a sensible Nigerian should do right now is to pray that God almighty makes it all easy and possible for him. Baba, I pray that may every good thing you have in mind for this gr8 country come to pass. Amen

Taylor86:
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15years of water resistant

15years of originality

15years of not carrying charger to funeral

15years of not carrying phone to my neighbors house

RIP Nokia 3310 u were murdered in cold blood by tecno android

Very well on point

Undoubtedly the best of its time.