Arianne's Posts

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Romance › Re: Desperate Measure: Did This Guy Go Too Far? by arianne(f): 12:48pm On May 19, 2007

i think this lie was rather too bogus! would the girl kill him if he honestly declared his lack of interest in the relationship? did he try to talk some sense into her head and it didnt work? for posterity's sake i hope this issue does not come back to bite him the ass!

well u got what u wanted, abi?

Romance › Re: I Wanna Be Single Cos Am Gamophobic, Is It A Big Issue? by arianne(op): 6:02pm On May 01, 2007

well yeah,u av a point but i would neva deny them access to paternal love and care, i wont just be married to d guy, get the point? undecided

Family › Re: What Rights Has Your Wife Over Your Mobile Handset Or Vice Versa? by arianne(f): 10:16am On Apr 27, 2007

now seriously, aint any problem in that provided he's pickin my call to help out and not with the malicious intention of diggin up a ghost! cos he will find one 4sure.

Family › Re: What Rights Has Your Wife Over Your Mobile Handset Or Vice Versa? by arianne(f): 10:10am On Apr 27, 2007

whatever is mine is mine, whatever is yours is mine. it's that simple. grin

Romance › Re: I Feel Like Crying Because I'm In Love by arianne(f): 10:08am On Apr 27, 2007

are u sure its not a physical and superficial attraction? u gotta be sure

Romance › Re: I Feel Like Crying Because I'm In Love by arianne(f): 10:00am On Apr 27, 2007

girl, its ok 2 cry, it brings u down from the emotional high. bin there before u know.
i kinda agree with anabell, i tink u should first be friends with him,this helps establish a bond, and common ground to build on (u can call him, hang out with him, seek his advice and other stuff that friends do) and it also givs u the chance 2 know him better (u mite find somthings u cnt stand about him, u know), once ur on this level with him, ur a lady, u know when and how to turn your charm on. Pls be classy and sincere bout it, but dnt go fallin down on ur knees like ur begging to be loved. if he is the man that u say and think he is, he'll definitely reciprocate and hook up witchu. all da best.

Romance › Re: I Wanna Be Single Cos Am Gamophobic, Is It A Big Issue? by arianne(op): 7:27am On Apr 27, 2007

@IBB Fan
am indeed sorry bout everything u had to go thru, if only u culd borrow time and twist fate, but its too much 2 ask for. from ur post, as a result of d divorce of ur parents, u became resentful towards ur dad and u were not just punishing him by staying away but also urself.
yeah i did av reservations bout my dad when they whole second wife thingy started, i was a typical daddy's girl, used to all the attention and care and all that stopped. i still love my parents more than they'll ever know and my thot of staying single is not to hurt or punish them even though they messed up my head.
let me tell u what am trying to deal with here, i am very emotional,& am not built for stress (psycological or physical) . marriage on its own comes wit its trruck-load of issues, raising a family takes devotion and patience, i can give myself to these (like my mum did) but what if its all in vain over a man that can change 2mrw (jst like ur dad did)?
we make our choices and live with the consequences or we hold back and neva find out wht could av bin if we took the chance, rite? nothing is guaranteed and this is my fear, whts in my control is my life and my happiness but from the guys end, i can't control it.
its rlly frustrating. cry

Romance › Re: Kissed By My Boyfriend's Best Friend by arianne(f): 7:12am On Apr 26, 2007

naijacutee:
Did you kiss him back?

Good Question. i would av slapped d dude silly! this is another proof of the fact that guys think with their testosterone.
i tink u shuld tell ur guy cos if the word comes out, its gonna be on u.
- u wanted the movie
- u wanted his company (the friend)
- u got a kiss and did nothing bout it (did u express ur disgust)?

its a man's world and its always the womans fault! remember? undecided

Romance › Re: I Wanna Be Single Cos Am Gamophobic, Is It A Big Issue? by arianne(op): 6:55am On Apr 26, 2007

LEVI2ME:
sorry. arris
just want to ask, not for play though

HAVE YOU TRIED "DELIVERANCE"
i think you might need it.

hey no offense taken, but when u say "DELIVERANCE", is from the fear Men or Marriage, cos am down for any good man but not marriage. which is it?

puker:
Baby you gotta make ya own man. Men are not sent from heaven. You must understand that you can be loved especially if you have all the qualities. Every day you meet and interact with poeple. Try to study and understand how your relationship goes. The reason to date poeple when you get to a marrital age is to understand the kind of person you are dating. I feel that if you try you can get a good husband.

@Pucker, i catch ur drift. The human heart is deep,u mite think u know all there is to know to a guy, u may even hav a defined and clear cut idea of wht u want ur lives 2gether to be like but thats all from ur end. u neva really see the big surprises comin.

adeboo:
But not all marriages break up though or are a living hell.

But i feel where you are coming from, just take it one step at a time and am sure beofre u know it, yo will meet the guy that wants to make you settle down

thanks, i really look forward to that day undecided

Romance › Re: I Wanna Be Single Cos Am Gamophobic, Is It A Big Issue? by arianne(op): 2:47pm On Apr 25, 2007

salsera:
@arianne

my dear, its not easy for deep wounds to heal it really hard.

just don't give up on yourself . One day YOU will see past this, and it won't hurt anymore trust me.

When the time comes it will work. For now don't give up hope and when those thoughts come remind them that one day YOU will get past this. Its HOPE - you were never meant to carry this hurt forever- YOU can be free.

i need some sort of miracle before its too late.

Romance › Re: The Most Stupid Thing You Ever Did? by arianne(f): 5:22pm On Apr 23, 2007

i dated a guy out of pity! we were friends for like 4mnths and and i wanted nothin more until d day he told me about his past relationships n how these ladies broke his heart, all i did was offer him a shoulder to cry on. 2 weeks later he makes a move on me and there i was, so scared to say NO so that i dnt pass of as the ladies that dumped him, i said YES. i had to pretend to feel things i ddnt feel, go on frustrating dates etc. culdnt take it no more so i broke up wit him on vals day (he actually used a wrng line that day, callin me d mother of kids! helloooo). it was rlly stupid.

Romance › Re: I Wanna Be Single Cos Am Gamophobic, Is It A Big Issue? by arianne(op): 4:53pm On Apr 23, 2007

funny thing is i av gone thru alot of counselling bt neva really broke through. i did alot of things depending on my strength but i still failed, i definitely know i need God on this one if am gonna ever pull thru this, and definitely a good and patient man too, who will undastand where am comin from and be satisfied with all i hav to give.

thanks guys

Romance › Re: I Wanna Be Single Cos Am Gamophobic, Is It A Big Issue? by arianne(op): 7:26am On Apr 23, 2007

spoilt:
you also have another option. you can have a live in companion and both of you don't have to get married. such long term relationships can last and are usually stable. but it can only work with someone who holds the same views like you do and doesnt want to get married.

Thats one option av bin seriosly considering.

Romance › Re: I Wanna Be Single Cos Am Gamophobic, Is It A Big Issue? by arianne(op): 7:19am On Apr 23, 2007

some these comments brought tears to my eyes. i really do undastand the points u guys are making but it not easy when ur "damaged". really its a walk, my walk thru d dark and i knw i gotta find my way alone.

wealthlynk:
There is nothing new under the sun. If you spend more of your time to listen to the story of children from polygamous families then you will know that you've got your star to thank.

Sure you can be happily married to any guy because all human beings are not the same. But girl you must be extra careful so you wouldn't fall into the same pit your mum fell into. True love is not written on the face but in the heart and it takes someone with the real eyes to see it. Do you have the real eyes?

I will advice you not to rush and don't be deceive by a lot of deception flying around, stay cool, pray and allow your real eyes to search for the true love. I wish you success in your marital endeavor. Victor.

Exactly, one on my deepest fears is ending up like my mum, giving my everything and getting nothing in return. My mum still loves my dad though and though she moved out, she ddnt divorce him. The pain was jst 2much for her to bear. I remember once talking to my step mom one evening and she took me back in time to how she met my dad and how crazy in love they were, in my mind i was so burnt to hear her tell me how she successfully destroyed something beautiful and she wasnt even sorry, knowing she's the reason why everything is wrong.
a good marriage is made up of 2 good people, i can vouch for myself, knowing that if i say " i do" its till the day i die, but when it comes to the guy, who can? As for divorce, of course, if it doesnt work out, i pull out!
i'll practically adore my kids, i would not deny them their rite to a father figure ( cos they'll need one) but i dnt think it necessarily has to be in the confines of a marriage.
Am hopin, praying and believing that if God has something different in His agenda for me, it would be better than what i've been thru with my folks. thanks alot guys

Romance › Re: I Wanna Be Single Cos Am Gamophobic, Is It A Big Issue? by arianne(op): 4:10pm On Apr 20, 2007

Thanks a lot guys for ur advice.
@ cute ass: i rlly felt u, ur like d sister i neva had. thanks 4 da welcome

i know there are happy couples and homes out there,unfortunately am not a product of one. everything marriage spells out to me is disappointment and animosity. i av felt great and atimes unexplainable feelings towards guys but then this constant fear takes ova and overwhelms me and it drowns my will to try. even if i was serious with someone, it would always be @ d back of my mind that it mite not last. i know life & love doesnt giv guarantees & i rlly wish it did. sad

Romance › I Wanna Be Single Cos Am Gamophobic, Is It A Big Issue? by arianne(op): 2:50pm On Apr 20, 2007

Hi nairalanders, am da newest baby in this family! hav read a lot of posts and comments on this forum and I think its every insightful though crazy a times!

This is not about a friend of mine, but about me, myself & I. I am 25 and from a polygamous home (though my parents are xtains) and am scared of marriage. My once happy family turned into a living hell when I was 11 yrs and my dad brought in this second lady and since then nothing as being the same. when I was a little girl, he (my dad) used to tell me how much he adored & loved my mum, but I don’t understand how u say u love someone and then marry somebody else! I try to keep a fairly cordial relationship with my step mom but that got me into more trouble cos my mom considered this the ultimate betrayal and eventually she moved out. The situation I had to go thru and live with has made me never really give so much attention to any relationship I was in (been in 3) even though the guys were serious. I never get my self to commit to these guys cos in my mind it’s just a sick and worthless proposition and it kills everything I feel. I have and I want guys for my friends but nothing more. I left the country 2 years ago and now am back and my family is on my neck for marriage! I am not interested one bit and I av made that clear to them. I don’t need a man that will eventually become a prayer point for me for the rest of my life. I want kids though and I’d rather live with d so called stigma of being a single parent than live in constant fear of the horrors ant travails a marriage can bring. I know the disapproval from my family will be strong, but why should I care.

Guys, do I stand a chance of still being happy & fulfilled as a single lady?

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