Hadez:
It has been a while since I had sex or anything romance.

Today I was with a very close friend of mine (male) who came visiting because we have no lectures. We have been friends for a year now and he totally understands the limit of our friendship. In fact he is my BFF

We were watching a movie and chatting when I suddenly discovered we were already kissing I push him away quickly and bring myself back to order and asked him to leave my apartment.

I feel so betrayed right now. He is just a friend and I have a boyfriend I love so much (distance relationship) please help me I don't feel right I am really feeling so guilty. What do I do?

yu feel guilty kos u feel like you betrayed your boyfriend but do you know its not fair to the guy u call yur bff..Get dis straight,no guy wants to be in the friend zone especially that best friend shii,you are hurting him too,and he has only kept quiet for this long because he doesnt want to lose your friendship and respect. my dear,there is nothing like bff with a guy,feelings must be involved from either of the party.

scantee:



just replied.

hmmn ok,,buh ah didnt get it,,lemme reload my mail

scantee:
broken heart? Lol she is the one nursing the broken heart not me, mind u i am the one that call it off. Give me ur digit, if u kant post it here u kan pm me instead or fb me.

i jes did..

scantee:
ok gud,would like speak with u on phone if u don't mind!

lol...its okay as long you dont expect me to cure your broken heart..jes kidding..

scantee:
uwc. U base lag?

yeah,i live and work in lag..

scantee:
kinda of, the first made u lok older, ur pretty in both anyway..

lol..yeah..kos i was on native and the gele thing.. thanks anyways

scantee:
is that u on ur profile?

lol..yes..u av askd me bf..do i look different frm d first pic??

scantee:
no i am not hating on her, we spoke few mins ago, the tune of my voice passed the message across to her, she has been uncomfortable trying to figure out why i sound casual/official as if i am talking to a business partner. I saw her sister moniker viewing this thread yesterday, i guess she might have briefed her...

its all good,jes give urself a break frm all these heart issues.. lol,they are really stressful,thats why i am dating myself,its too stressful trying to fulfill the needs(emotional nd odas) of someone who wuldnt even move a foot for u. she may adjust,u guys may still reconcile buh dont force it.

scantee:
wahoo ur pretty, thanx 2 you guyz i am very much better now, it was as if nothing happend after reading all the harsh comments here that made me strong, i am making a plan to go on short vacation, i just have to start a new life entirely, though she has been calling and calling, but the more she calls the more i hate her more. Once again thanx 2 u all.

im glad that u are beta now.. mind you,dont hate her ,hating some1 is bad for ur health and mind

HIGHESTPOPORI:
You can make him feel better by replacing his Gf

lol..i cant be a rebound oo,so he can use me to cure his broken hart right?

scantee:


is that you on your profile? menn your not looking bad @ all

lol,yes.. ur heart is feeling beta naw? .

[quote author=Hadassahisbae post=42124299][/quote]

lol,babe im female ooo...date ke,21 years imprisonment niyen naw

9japrof:


One of the most articulate and sensible posts i have read. Scantee look at the bolded. That is just the plain truth. I would give you my own objectives, lemme still read through funny Nairaland comments

its not a bad idea,but do not forget that he is also hurting,who will take that pain from him? giving her clear space so she can sort out her feelings is the best option.sometimes,its needful for us to lose some things to be able to realise its value. psychologically,d lady in question cant handle marriage because her emotions are still playing hanky panky with her. dumping her isnt a good idea considering time nd emotions invested,buh wen something isnt working,you cant force it. I went tru dat same phase and i lost someone soo good,he did hurt a lot too and evn had his mum pleading on his behalf but i was still engrossed in the youthful exuberance,its d age,u cant blame her..

tommychow:


Hahaha @ "not my daddy's age oo". That would be disturbing, innit? What's your limit? As in, the oldest you can marry? I'm more attracted to women around my age even older (2 years max). Sucker for a matured mind. Love the challenge. Sad part, they prefer older men for the reason you said, financial stability.

It's definitely a phase SHE MUST pass through IMO. She might lose this great guy (OP) but she needs to know his worth and what she really NEEDS or else, throughout the marriage she'll keep wondering 'what if' she should have explored which lead to frustration, even cheating. There are just some things you just can't get into a young mind, mainly relationship advice.

im in my mid 20's and the youngest i have ever dated is 29, but right now i wuldnt date anybody less than 30. asides financial stability,emotional stability and security too is key,i dont want someone that wont be able to handle our issues maturely except we fight and scatter evrywhere.i hate stress,so i definitely hate to nag about the same thing evrytime,i like wen you as a man sees sumfing av done wrong and simply call me and point it out instead of acting out on it,same with me.PLus the fact that i hate clingy men,Be in a relationship where both of you are fused into each other but yet independent of each other.

Hello NLs,i am new to Nl,please i will like to know your opinion on this.its about my friend,she is 25 now,she is married with a kid,but seperated from her husband for 2 years now due to domestic violence.They have no reason to come back together because they have both moved on,they are working on getting divorce,Recently,she met a guy,they started out as friends,but are now dating.please is it right for her to do this? Guys,can u date a woman who is seperated from her husband and waiting to get divorced?

tommychow:


I was nodding to everything you said like we shared the same brain but you didn't mention he needs help. Trying to leave someone you truly love can be a very dark, depressing place, worst for men because the don't express it or vent out their pain so they form "tough guy". For me, a best way to get over someone you still love, is to have a very mature female friend (a single female in the case of a man) who is a very good listener. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND a new female friend after the break up. Reason is, the thrill of getting to know someone new can also be a very good distraction from the break up. Be honest with her that you're tryna to get over someone, that you need a GOOD FRIEND. From my experience, women enjoy this role because the can really empathize with you.

Scantee, you best listen to ariyike23 and give her space. She's young and still highly susceptible to peer pressure. I even made a thread about trying to marry younger females:

https://www.nairaland.com/2774510/stop-dating-way-younger-girls

i quite agree wid u.. the thing is she is still enjoying the attention she gets from those chewing gum boys,trust me in 4 to 5 years from now,she wuld die to have his kind of person,its just the phase.one thing we ladies fail to realise is that stability and security is the most paramount in a relationship,i prefer olda guys but not my daddy's age oo because i want peace of mind.

scantee:
Hello N'landers! Please i am very sorry to come up again with this my fiancee matter again, for those of you who might be familiar with my previous threads https://www.nairaland.com/2666138/want-call-off-marriage..i-feel concerning her attitudes will understand better.

Brief Intro: i met this girl some years back when she was still on 1st Semester 200L in one of the university in SE states, though we met in Lagos...we fell in love <fast forward> i wanted to marry her then but she said i should allow her finish her school before we can officially get married (she was 20yrs then) while i was in my mid 20tez as well, so i decided to wait since i am still young & not in a rush, we are like everything to each other, i introduced her to my entire family members, friends, relatives & work coliquez, i made them understand we would be getting married during or after her final year in school, we are in a distance relationship because my work takes me to places within & outside the country, we only spent time together only during her holidays (i.e after 4 months) practically all her friends knows about me though i never met them in person, we really love each other so much that people believe we are unbreakable...

To shortened the story..we spent time together in Lagos last xmas before she traveled for new year..while i stayed back in Lagos, & we have agreed that we would be getting married this being her final year in school, i noticed that since she left for the new year celebration in her village our communication declined so much, she hardly called or pick my calls, when i complained she attributed that to a bad network in the village where she went to spend some days with her friend that was getting married that last year.

NOW SHE IS BACK TO SCHOOL..the same thing is still happning, she does not give me much attention again, hardly called, if i called she will claim to be so tired having hectic day in school, so i got tired of everyting yesterday when i called her she did'nt pick my call rather she text me that is was very busy & will call me back when she is done, after 2hrs no call back i decided to call her back & her number was busy, after she done making her call she picked my & said she was on call with her sister, i asked what she was doing that kept her busy from 8;30pm -10:30pm she said she was ironing & cooking. I felt unconvinced i asked her are you tired of me? She said yes & laughed, i was shocked, i ask her why, she said she can't even explain it herself, i then ask..

ARE U SEEING SOME ELSE OR HAVING CRUSH ON ANY GUY? She said yes that it started last year, the guy use to come visit her in her hostel, but now she has lost contact with the guy, though nothing has ever happend between them, i felt like i was dreaming because i can swear for this girl that she can never do such...she said though she declined the guys proposal to date him because she does not see the possibility of it happning. Now i fell betrayed after all these years of waiting even when some friends adviced me against it, i have lost the trust in her, right now i feel so hurt, she pleaded that she don't even understand what is happning to her that she is confused, she then said she just feel like being left alone to concentrate in her final year project...

please i feel so sad right now because i put all my egg in one basket in the name of love, my imagination is just going wild about her right now, i have lost apitite for food & loosing concentration, i so much love & trust her. Please how do i overcome this now? help me..

i used to surf this forum as a guest,jes joined today when i saw ur post. Yur gurl is onli bored of the relationship and has found sumone thats tickling her fancy because his still new to her,its better that shes showing all these now,because what i can decipher from here is that shes not psychologically ready for marriage,she still feels young and wants to explore, and the idea of been stuck to one man is scary to her. Your best option is to give her space,i mean real space,dont break it off with her,but start going out with other gurls,dont date for now because the probability that any gurl you date now will be a rebound is very high,you may just want to use her to cure your heart break which isnt fair to the gurl. with time,if your relationship isnt meant to be,you"ll find yourself withdrawing from her gradually. One thing is if the trust has been destroyed,dont bother going further,because no matter what she does,you will always doubt her fidelity and thats bad for your health. You'll be fine,it will only hurt for a while..i promise