₦airaland Forum

Have a blessed sunday peeps.
Off to church.
*smiles*

Detivo: guy u 4got *stand in front of train 4 u* .dats wat mumu luv cos. No blame am

Hehe!
Comfirm wan o.
.
Ifa hear sey I stand in front ov a train 4 her.

Listen 2 Bruno Mars Carefully: ♫ I'll catch a
Grenade 4 u «NO O» Throw my hand on a
Blade 4 u «NO O»♫ ... Walahi, that's wat he
sang

Pee investigator

Adex099: Plz give me Ghostie's phone number

Uhmm!
Ghostie doesn't have a phone. He come around wans in a while and at night.
U know how ghost love nights.
Lol!

Adex099: E•T•T

I started posting on diz thread a week after Jamb. During da bombshell Jamb releaz diz year.
I still remember vividly as read da pages tru to dat time. We wer much...really much.
I dun miss many p'ple o and i cry 4 dm, feelin dia pains and da woe Jamb unleashd.
I remember oga Jazino and oga Damoriko planning on protesting or sumtin, abt da ish.
And wait o....whr Damorikoko sef?
Lol!
Itaf tey'd o.
Buh...anyhow sha.....we thank God 4d survivals and letd brethren dat joind us tru da race.
Trafford and co wer a blessing 4us.
And at last we're all in. God iz Good.
.
So tell dat kid dat said wit 75 sum1 cldn't get admission in Benin, he should get his bow tie and boxers, take a trip to purgatory so he can be cleansed.
.
.
Asakel's jez saying Hap'Sunday.
#Church Tinz On Point#
#Team_DLCF
*smiles*

Adex099: Hahaha...you can still reject your admission sir

Was he admitted?

Adex099: Happy sunday HoUse.
God bless you all.

Amen!
Hap'Sunday 2u.

Metaphycist: AMAZING EXPERIENCE
BIOMETRICS (Final Episode)
Towards d end of d 1st semestr,I had jumpd almost all d hurdles....bt one still stood in my way........."Biometrics".......
I ws getin pissed wit d do dis,do dat syndrom dat had plagued us since we step foot in2 d skul.
Each time I tut of doin it,wen I go der n c d crowd,d way dey r sweatin n ranting,I'ld get discouragd.
D Biometrics registratn 4 Soc sci ws carried out by d staircase of Sos sci Admin buildin,Ecostat's floor(1st floor)
Now I startd noticin dat d number of peeps who had done it ws getin larger.....n if I'm askd if I'v done it,n I said no....D person wil look at me in contemp,as one who is no longer serious.
Afta sm time,I decided to zero in on it.
It ws a thursday,a bright n sunny day,I went 2 my dptmt,collectd d form,paid 500 naira in n office n ws gud 2 go,....I went 2 d place 4 registratn......
Dang! It ws tight,man! It ws filld wit ppl.....I got der abt 2pm....bt it dint get 2 my turn,cuz I ws late.
D followin monday,I ws prepared 2 go early....bt Important classes dint giv me a free tim until 12noon.I rushd der 2 see pple standin on dft queues(abt 7).....Well I stood in one....In front of me wer jst 11stdnts,nw u'l tink it'l be easy,bt u'r wrong as each queue had 2 be attended to 1 afta d oda....So it tuk abt 20mins b4 each person in my queue ws called.
N so I waited n waited n waited n waited....It ws nw abt 3.30pm n dey r 2 close by 4pm.....bt at dis time,der wer only 2 pple in front of me.
It ws a good omen......Bt jst wen I had a reason 2 smile,3 gurls catwalked (or need I say.....duckwalkd)2 wer I ws n told me der wer at my front....
I lookd at dem as tho dey wer coverd in poo n immediately told dem 2 stay at my back if dey wnt 2 do deir biometrics...Bt dey started claimin right dat dey wer on d queue around 12.
How cn u leav by 12 n nw cum minuts b4 4pm 2 tell me u r at my front!? I asked....raisin my voice in anger.
Tho d boy at my front affirmd dat dey wer behind him,I wsnt ready 2 let dem stay in frnt of me,cuz if dey did,it wudnt get 2 my turn,n again d stuff seemd stupid 2 me.....
It ws 1 of dos times I rili got angry in skul....
In d midst of dis.....1 of d officers calld me n told me nt 2 wori,dat she'l register me next.I registerd,n left jst minuts past 4.I had crossd yet anoda milestone.
But did it end der?...NO!
2nd semstr came n we wer told 2 do anoda biometrics as requird by NUC....Dis 1 involvd d whole skul...n dat means more trouble.
It ws 2 hold at Educatn LT,Flankd on d east by Faculty of sos sci......
D populatn der ws great....as many struggld 2 get theirs done....I decided 2 wait a little b4 I start mine....Afta a week or so....many had fought d hurricane n got theirs done,only 4 it 2 be announcd dat it ws canceld,n dat d legitimate one wil commence shortly.
Many wer furious n tensions wer raised.Bt nt me,as I ws hapi cuz I dint even disturb myself.
It remindd me of wat a final yr stdent told me wen I jst startd my clearance......"Dnt rush n do ur tins 2 early,n dnt do it too late"
.
Later,we wer told 2 do it at d sport complex.....Students rushd der again in great numbers....d populatn der remains unpresidented.
Due 2 d multitude,skul mgt decided 2 break it down,so dat each faculty wil be given a week 2 get deirs done.,wit d officers working round d clock....Now,der was a deadline......
My faculty ws 2 start on June 17.so it ws abt 20days away.....
Bt shortly,tragedy struck as a student ws shot in d complex.I ws goin home dat day n saw students screamin n running out of d sport complex....Dis led 2 a partial shutdown of d registratn,only 2 be revampd a few days later.
It got 2 Soc sci turn,n dey all startd rushing der,esp.100lvl students....bt I waitd....Smhw,it got 2 d final day,n I had still nt done mine.N dat day coincided wit our faculty electn.Since my support ws highly needed on dat day,I stayd behind 4 d electn as criticisms flew in from evry corner.
It turned out dat all my candidates except one won deir respectiv positns.....
We went 4 an appeal 4 dem 2 grant us a final day 2 do our biometrics,n wer given...so dat day,I went as early as 6.30am 2 d complex.
D density of d crowd ws less bt grew 2 maximum capacity in less dan 2hrs.
We waitd n waitd wit ppl strugglin,shoutin n quarrelin....It ws fun 2 c dat it ws nt only 100lvl students dat wer in it dis time.
It ws nw 11pm,n pple wer moved 4rm one section 2 anoda gradually....at abt 1pm...it got 2 my turn,I ws movd 2 d oda sectn,n in 30mins time,I did my registratn.
It ws one of d coolest ways any1 did theirs as I dint struggle all day n night as som did...
.
Evrytin ws virtually ova.....
.
All these tins tut me lessons 1 way or d oda....No 1 wrote abt it lik dis 4 me...Bt I'm doin it 4 u so dat u'l hv insight 2 d future......People r waitin 2 judge u n call u names,bt jst maintain ur cool....der is a long road 2 be taken,seas 2 be sailed n mountains 2 be crossd....
All I wish 4 is dat ur own Amazing Experience will be better than mine.
.
.
THE END

Bless u bro
More akpu to ur eba.
*smiles*

Ghostie: Hey Asakel, how u doing?
Asakel: Doing gallantly ghostie. U?
Ghostie: Jes transparent Asakel. Long time no saw
Asakel: Yeah! And u've been on ghostmode all diz while?
Ghostie: Lol! What do u expect idiot.....ama ghost.
Humans....u've com again.
.
Asakel: I'm nat an idiot ghostie...do nat say dat again.
:-(
Ghostie: Pfft.....and wot u gonna do? Hit me wif ur hammer. Ah pway o.
Asakel: Ah no blame u....nah ur godfathers.
Ghostie: Hehe! U know u can't be witout ur bestie eh! Ymenuzmeh.
Asakel: What's da hell iz dat?
Ghostie: Wah?
Asakel: Menuze...wareva
Ghostie: Oh dat....tis jez wan ov awa ghost slangs.
.
Asakel: When i go Benin na only u go stay here na. U go find bestie tire.
Ghostie: Lol! And u tink i'll stay behind? Duuh! I was given admission too.
Asakel: Like hell u were. U cldn't get up to da cut off mark.
Ghostie: 49.9%? Didn't u do english in school. Cn't u solve it?
Asakel: Shaking ma head 4u ghostie
Ghostie: Lol! And i'm wagin ma tail. Asakel i'll see u in Benin wif all ur fwends and sledgy.
Asakel: If u were admittd, wat course were u given?
Ghostie: What course do u tink they give a ghost. Now i'm da wan shakin ma head. Humans
.
Asakel: Ghostiology?
Ghostie: Idiot....it is ghostnetic.
Asakel: Ryt! Ah tot ov dat. Gu luck wif dat ghostie.
Ah wanna sleep. Church tinz 2day.
Ghostie: So u jez leave me here?
Asakel: Yeah..u can guard da place 4 now till da morrow.
Ghostie: Buh dats COS's job.
Asakel: Tis CSO not COS otondo
.
Ghostie: Wareva....buh u cnt leave me. Tis so quiet...here. Wat if a ghost appears?
Asakel: Lol! U are a ghost and u are afraid ov ghost? Lol!
Ghostie: Didn't say i'm afwaid. Okay go now....i'm nat afwaid ov anytin.
Asakel: Lol! See u when i see u ghostie. I'll telma fwends u came by.
Ghostie: Yeah! And greet ur Lady 4me.
Asakel: Awryt ghostiee...
Ghostie: ...buh Asakel u know dat gurl is sooo.....
Asakel: ...okay gostie goo'night...
Ghostie: ....no..buh sewiosly i saw her pix and....
Asakel: .....shaaaaaaaaaraaaaaaaaap!

@Adexie
Tell sylvalord i'm hailing.
And he's gat a hell lot ov reading to do.
*smiles*

iLLiE: Abeg first help me pick that pen on the table

*smashes sledge hammer on his fingers*

*crying*
E di nah pain me

iLLiE:
She said Asakel....Adex answered







Karen will hear

No go koba me o.

iLLiE:




U've started with my bumbum again


Lol....aon knw dah 1

Guy give me ma sledge hammer na.
Abi u wan obtain am ni.

Adex099: KOLA/I-LIE !!!! I'm warning you o...leave affrey alone!!!!

Osé
Bruce Leed

tinahrex: I.P.O....
@ least dem no spoil me ticket

See Chelshit
So u put win 4 our head?
And u dey yab us.
U go chop ur beaten 2mowo.

iLLiE: Lwkmdead


No be today i just dey know say you no well








Do u mean Seun ikuponilebambam?

No o...tis not da wan.
.
Seun Obonyoju.

iLLiE: Asakel do u knw chukwudi?

Haaa....Chukwudi Obinigwe.
Why ah no go knw mah bwoda 4rm anoda maiden.
.
.
Do u know Seun?

Romanticboy1: U peeps always confusin sum1 wid strange wordz!
1st of al asakel said 'tin'
nw its ' balls' nd he said 'u cn manage wid d other'
wat 'other'
abeg u guys shud brk it dwn 2 d simplest of words instead of dis 'coded' ones! Jowo!
#peace

Lol!
See Ramantic boy o.
Lol!
.
Illie can explain beta.
Illiiiiiiiieeee!!

exPLIcit7: Dz Asakel sef...u want make Make iLLIE(I LIKE LIE) break my head.

No na
Tis jes wan ov ur balls.
U cn manage wif da oda.
Buh it seems he z got sumtin bera in his mind.
#na golf tinz#

exPLIcit7: And what do y0u need the hammer f0r...
.
.
Asakel n0 give am anything.

Too late o.
Eyhaa....sowi

My friend forgot his laptop on the floor of
my room. My grandma thought it was a
scale.
CONCLUSION: My grandma weighs
N310,000.

iLLiE: Where is adex,trafford or asakel?

Present Sir

Nonisco: Y is it dat during the days of old,in fact during the time of the bible,a man wld marry more dan a wife?

Na wa diz guy o.
Na everybody 4diz world dey follow bible doctrine.
Pls its "according" to da bible.
And dat pssg u put down there. Abraham had lost Sarah already.
So he cld take anoda.

christlyke: Pls oh fr Christ sake,abeg is dere hope fr someone hu hasnt seen his name till now......

YES
Keep praying at ur end
And we'll pray wit at ours.
.
.
Where iz R. Freeman?
Na im go answr wella.

iLLiE: *switching to Tiger woods mode*

Lol!
Na golf u wan use am play?

Nonisco: is it lawful for a christian to marry more than one wife?

Gen. 2:22-24
Prov. 31:10
Matt. 19:4-6
Eph. 5: 22,23
Col. 13: 18,19
Heb. 13:4-7
Mark 10: 6-9
ONE MAN, ONE WIFE

iLLiE:


Asakel please borrow me your sledge hammer

*Gives him sledge hammer*
Jez burst wan ov im balls.

iLLiE: I'll take him to TB Joshua

Lol!

If we lose today...
Omo na 19th o.
RELEGATION TINZ
.
.
#GGMU
#In Moyes we (t)rust

mofeuniben: serial keys for all softwares http://www.eminado.com/2013/10/serial-keys-working-for-all-softwares.html

Nice wan
Ur head iz there bwoda.

Romanticboy1: Of course i wil















bt on 2nd thought y will i gve such person ma money 2kip? Abeg o

Lol!
No 4get sey da man dey tok o.
Im fit tel u whr im kip da money...buh hw im go take knw u.