₦airaland Forum

DAT track dope mehn.....

real madrid should help him out....

had sex with dis beautiful girl on d first visit to my rooM..o! lord forgive me.

Wat will happen to korede and co wen baba close shop...

no hating d guy is handsome..

attention seeker mumu.

franciskaine:
pls remove Skype from ur list of trash. Skype call is d best anyday anytime.

yeap skype is dope

pls my infinix x507 Is hanging seriously at times it will take up to 5 minute before booting it will keep writing (android is upgrading) pls what can i do? phone gurus.

odutolasodiq:
2go is mostly used by kids while whatsapp is mostly used by adults

at what age can we classify someone as a kid?

Hw many app person go dey use for phone self..see..i have ucweb for downloading,opera for browsing and whatsapp for chating ...all dis bbm,instangram,skype and telegram na trash as long as u re a very busy type.

Wat type of model are are u using..if it is winpad...yes

Ike1:
http://manly.ng/advice-father-gave-me-was-searching-for-a-wife/

wat an advice ....gud one.

pharmtech:
12:00 am

Dat saturday

Lexusgs430:
Send me a dm

what is dm?

hi peeps..pls i want u guys to help me my laptop disk drive got crash since last week no money to repair it..now my problem is i want to download msoffice 2013 OR 2010..i have google search tire all bring irrelevant site..pls i nid a a link to download it asap tankz..

hi peeps..pls i want u guys to help me my laptop disk drive got crash since last week no money to repair it..now my problem is i want to download msoffice 2013 OR 2010..i have google search all bring irrelevant site..pls i nid a a link to download it asap tankz.

Just while I was wondering about my
stupidity, my memory
started flashing back to the how we
started……….
After sending her a friend request on
facebook
which she
accepted. We chat about academics, life in
general. As time goes
on, we were so fond of each other that we
confided in each other.
She told me about her relationship that just
ended with mike due
to emotional and physical abuse. She told
me
how mike didn’t
love her, how he violently demand for s-x,
how
he always
demanded for ana.l s-x which she always
give it to him but later got break up with her
I felt so sorry for
her that I always keep her company on
chats.
We do exchange
pictures, voicenotes and videos. The feelings
was developing
gradually until the day I asked her out…
It took her up to 2weeks to give a yes
answer,
after giving me a
yes, we started the E-dating proper.
Its was fun all through because we chat
almost every minutes, I
will always call her time to time which she
don’t always return
but I never mind. As at march, our intimacy
grew to the extent
that we engage in dirty chats. Chaii,
adebimpe
is a guru at it.
She will always tell me about her
sexcapades
with her ex, how
she gives Mouth Gig and swallows the c-m.
How she do perform
56 styles. Infact, every nite, I do make sure
my
fone is charged
so as to enjoy each nite moment of sexchat,
after chat, she will
call me in the midnite for phonesex. One nite
during our normal
chat, we were like
Bimpe: baby, I’m getting wet to much dis
days, each time I feel
like having you in me
Me: the feelings is mutual baby, same thing
here
Bimpe: pls can u do me an urgent favour?
Me: what favour is that dear?
Bimpe:. Pls send pics of your erected D--k
to
me.
Me: *suprised*. Waoo, but on one condition,
Bimpe:. What’s the condition?
Me: u will send ur own nudes to me
Bimpe:. Don’t worry dear, just be patient till
we meet, I will give
you a surprise package you will always
remember for the rest of
your life
Me:, really?, tell me about it
Bimpe:. You know what?. I will suck you
while
you will c-m 3
times in my mouth and I will swallow. I will
give u the best
d----e u have ever experienced and atleast
30
out of my 56 s-x
positions
Me: chai *my D--k responded to the signal*
I
can’t wait for that
dear.
The chat ended with a nice phonesex till I
slept of and I had this
nasty dream of me and adebimpe…………….
I woke up from my “day-dreaming” and begin
to wonder what
actually happened. I began to compare the
bimpe who is always
nasty on chats and always look forward to
us
been together with
the bimbe who barely spend 1 hour with me
only to tell me she is
going to stay over at her cousin’s place
whom
she didn’t tell me
about earlier.
while I was still imagining. My phone rang
and I tried checking
who is on the line, it was bimpe. I didn’t
pick
the calls cos I was
so mad at mysef, considering the 3bottles
of
alomo I have
bought, the preparations and the likes. I
ignore more of her calls.
I decided to open my operamini and browse
my facebook to
while away time. As the facebook homepage
page opened. On
the username, I saw her email filled in it,
and
on the password. I
saw 8 dots just as normal password code.
Immediately I got a
flash back that when she came to my house
on day 1, she asked
for my fone to use because her blackberry
battery was flat. I
remembered she logged out before returning
the fone to me. So
as I was wondering whay could have
happened, I then recollect
that a notification that says “do you want
opera to keep your
password for this page?” Usually comes up,
then I assumed she
must have selected YES.
I gladly logged in into her account and
browse
through her
messages.
To my surprise, bimpe does the same flirt
chat
she did to me
with like 4 other guys. The one that shocked
me most was a guy
on her message named “swordman”. The
guy
also lives in akure
according to their chats. She also told the
guy
that she wish to
come to akure to visit her, but the guy said
in
the chat that he
didn’t have money to finance the transport
of
which bimpe replied
that “don’t worry, I will sort out myself”. On
seeing this, my head
rang a bell. I felt an headache instantly. I
took
my time to read
through all their conversations and I
discovered that she do
exchange nudes with the guy, they flirt to
the
extreme, and they
were also dating. It was then I got the true
image that bimpe is
actually with another guy whom she said its
a
cousin. But again I
thought of it that she invited me to come
there yesterday, can
she be with another guy and still invite me?,
The time was now
8:43am. I called bimpe and told her that I
want to visit her at her
cousin’s place and that she should give me
the address. She
replied me that “I’m sorry, u can’t come, I
and
mycousin had a
serious misunderstanding yesterday nite and
till this morning.
Infact, we haven’t spoke since last nite till
now, so its not
advisable for you to come” I said ok and
then
hanged up.
I said to my self that chaiiii………..onihaxy,
you
be first class
maga.
Just as I was imagining my “mumurity”, I
don’t know either to
trace the address I found on facebook, or to
set her up, kidnap
her and molest her, so many evil things
were
just going through
my mind, then a text message came in from
bimpe which says ”
baby, I am on my way to your place”. Gan
gaun, my head
sparked again, I started rehearsing how I
will
shout on her, I was
reasoning if I should show her my discovery
or
not. I don’t know
what to do next, I was just restless. Walking
up and down my
room. About 30mins later. I heard the sound
“ko ko ko” on my
door. Who is that was my response to the
knock, and a sweet
voice came from outside saying its me
bimpe.
I frowned and open the door. Before I knew
it,
she dropped her
luggage, hugged me and then planted a kiss
on my lips. Before I
knew what was happening, I have forgot all
my
rehearsals……………

Early february. I met adebimpe on facebook
as
a mutual friend to
one of my friends. One thing led to another,
we
started chatting
on BBM and early march, we started E-
dating.
3weeks ago, we
discussed on how we will see facially and
she
suggested to
travel down to meet me in akure if only I
can
send T.fare.
Adebimpe is a student of uniport so she
fully
based in PHC.
I was so happy that I started day dreaming
how the visitation will
look like, the romance, fun, love-making etc.
.
On the 14th of
april, I sent 10k into her account as Tfare.
She
called me to tell
me she got the money. And the travelling
preparation
began.
The D-day came. I have cleaned up my
room,
bought foodstuffs,
bought a new pack of CD., wen she dropped
at
akure garage, I
told her to pick a bike to my house address
which she did, she
got to my house at around 5pm. I ushered
her
in, gave her soft
drinks and we were chating. Wen it was
6pm,
she shocked me by
telling me she has a cousin here in akure
and
that’s where she
will be staying throughout her 3days of stay
and dat I shd visit
her at her cousin’s place the following day. I
was so sad but I
didn’t show it, I faked a smile and walk her
off
to take bike.
I come dey reason am say “se na like dis my
10k go waste?”.
The next day, I didn’t go to visit her and I
lied
that I was sick with
the mindset that she will come to my place
instead. But na lie,
all she could do was to call me and ask
after
my health.
That nite, I couldn’t sleep. I was just
wondering how silly I am. I
just put my fone in silence and forcefully
slept
off.
As I woke up around 6am in the morning, I
picked my fone and I
saw a text from adebimpe. Which says
“baby
u knw I will be
leaving today, wat time should I come to
visit
u so as to get my
return Tfare”. Chaiii, na so my head spark

kilode100:
I know that I will be fuxking a random guy..

put me in ur list ooo

Sixtustony:
see nyashi

d girl is really endowed with nice yansh.

Jolllyjoy:
It means you will die tommorrow so eat your last meal today.,




thank me later

pretty face with a wicked mind,receive sense in Jesus name.

slim19:
End time topic

there you go again y naw?

pls what is the meaning of end time trending on nairaland on daily basis

Being a guru in computer programming java and python tinz..

A friend of mine recently found out that ‘her
man’ is married. I remember how hurt she
looked when she said to me, “Toby did you
know that John (not real name) is married?”
“Whaaaat!” I screamed in disbelief. “Are you
kidding me?”
“Toby he’s been married for three years, and
I am just finding out today.”
“Oh my God!” I exclaimed. “Then what was
he coming to you for naa”, I asked in shock.
“Ask me again Toby, ask me ooo.” At this
point she was almost in tears.
As far as I am concerned, my friend was
lucky to have found out when she did. For
many people, some of these shocks take
place only after marriage.
Some of these situations can be avoided to
a large extent if we put our feelings aside
and ask our partner some sincere questions
before making any major decision in our
relationships.
I have written below 21 questions you
should ask before you say “I do”. Many of
them are weird, but based on recent
happenings; one can never be too sure. For
the purpose of emphasis, I must say that
“Baby you know I love you” is not the
answer to any of these questions. So
friends, let’s dive in and explore.
What is your real name?
Candy, Sonsy or Jimmy is usually not a real
name for most Nigerians. (Of course there
are exceptions). Find out your boo/bae’s
real (and village) names, so that if e come
get as e be, you go know where to begin
trace things.
Are your parents together?
This question isn’t meant to judge, but for
you to know what to expect and be
prepared. These people will be your
children’s grandparents (hopefully). Are they
divorced, separated, estranged, cat-and-dog,
or living happily together?
What do you do?
If she is a student, find out which school,
course and expected year of graduation. If
he is a business man, find out the type of
business. If he is working, ask for the name
of the organization and for how long. By the
way, ‘hustling’ without any further definition,
is not an occupation.
When can I meet your folks?
This one takes a lot of guts especially for
ladies. But nne eh this question may be
what will determine how long you will be the
star actor of ‘Lord of the Rings’.
What do you do when you get mad?
Do you curse, sulk, hit people or break
things when you get mad? You need to
know about this now to avoid stories of “I
fell down the stairs” tomorrow.
How much do you make?
Please don’t be shy about this. This is
someone you are planning to build a future
with. You need to have an idea of what his/
her income looks like on the average so as
to make feasible plans.
Do you smoke and/or drink?
To some people, this isn’t a big deal while
to some, it is. It doesn’t hurt to ask.
Where do you live?
Dear sister, if he is still living with his
parents or squatting with a friend’s
nephew’s brother’s cousin, you need to
know. If he is living in a face-me-I-slap-you
compound, you need to know too, so you
can start getting ready for the communal life
and compound fights.
What do you like eating?
This is equally for guys and not just ladies.
At least you will know what to prepare (or
buy) when you want to give him/her a treat.
How many kids do you want?
Two cannot work together unless they
agree. It is important to have an agreement
here to avoid misunderstanding tomorrow.
What if none comes?
Yes, “God forbid”, and “it is not our portion”.
But let’s face it, no be everybody go get
pikin. So suck it up and ask the question.
“What happens if no kids come the first few
years of the marriage? What if only girls or
only boys come? Will you get another wife?
Or will you keep trying until you have 12
daughters?”
Do you have inheritance or investments?
My take is this. If you can trust someone
enough to agree to spend the rest of your
life together and to naked before the pesin,
you suppose trust that pesin with
everything, including your investments.
What is your sexual orientation?
If you wish to avoid “had I known”, ask your
boo/bae if he/she is heterosexual, bi-sexual,
homosexual or into bestiality sef. Adighi
amachazi ama nawadays (you can never
know).
Do you have debts?
People choose a spouse for different
reasons. Some marry to deliver their family
from poverty. Some marry to get contracts,
while some marry to pay off debts. If your
boo/bae is owing $60,000 (#12,000,000) in
tuition debts for instance, you should know
beforehand.
What’s your view on body size/image?
You need to know if she can stand flabby
arms, bald heads and/or pot bellies.
Similarly, find out if he can still love a
woman who has Christian mothers’ arms
(ndi nne maama) or a protruding stomach.
What’s your view on cooking and other
domestic work?
Most ladies love getting pampered. Many of
them will be disappointed if their husbands
can’t cook or assist with domestic work. If
you are one, ask him now, so you won’t
have the wrong expectations that lead to
unfulfilled relationships tomorrow.
And bros, you need to know if she can
prepare anything else apart from bread/tea
or Indomie. What about cleaning, sweeping,
washing, etc. Now is the best time to decide
if you will need to employ chefs, cleaners or
helps.
What is your career plan?
He may be working in a bank today, but
planning to become a pastor tomorrow.
Or maybe she is a Civil servant today but
plans to become a politician tomorrow. Can
you cope?
What are your sexual fantasies?
Does he/she expect oral s-x, anal s-x,
bondage, threesomes, s-x-tapes etc? Stop
being shy and ask, so you don’t get the
shock of your life after wedding.
What are your religious views?
Without a good mutual understanding,
having different religious views can break up
an otherwise good relationship. For
Christians, this includes church doctrines.
Do you have a child?
It is better to know this and prepare for the
drama that comes with baby mamas/papas
beforehand.
Are you married?
Put your feelings aside and ask this all
important question. If they are divorced, ask
for details. There is a big difference between
divorced and about-to-be divorced.