₦airaland Forum

raumdeuter:
I like you and your position already. Are you a new poster or a born again Old poster

I am more of a "read and laugh but won't comment lest one small boy/girl starts cussing me' old poster. been there since 2008. I don't like being insulted and i don't want to trade insults, so i usually find it best to lay low before...but I have more time so i have to decided to be a more active member.....until person abuse me

babygirlfl:
You have done a great job. In this section, women have been scared by people telling them that women in Nigeria don't get anything after divorce. I am glad it's not the case and I think more women should be made aware of this.

Most of us don't support anybody who wants to reap where they did not sow. What we want is that women who have worked and built with their husband be well settled.

Also, most people would not support divorce for silly reasons. However, most people think a serial cheat and a wife beater is a flimsy reason to divorce.

The funny thing is, as near as 2012, when i left practice, our court system is overwhelmed by plenty divorce matters. People are no longer staying in abusive marriages. who wan die young? But there is a lot of nonsense cases. I remember one case where the husband and wife got into a heated argument because the husband wanted to give their two year old daughter viju milk at 9 p.m. It turned into a physical fight and then the next day, the wife's brother went to the man's church to embarrass him. So they were filing for divorce.

I can never forget that day. As she was narrating, i was just looking at her. In my mind, i wanted to slap her with my pen. I was like 'Choi. Aisha!!!! see your life! Five year of School. One year in Law school. Two Years for Masters. And you are here discussing viju milk". The un serious couple settled during the family conference

babygirlfl:
Thanks ayeeidris for these information.

You are welcome

raumdeuter:
Wont you be one of those that would end up being accused of "Stay married at all cost" and promoting archaic African culture

Cos It seems every Nigerian womans dream is to be divorced but the backward culture, Nigerian men and society are holding them back

Marriage is not boyfriend or girlfriend things where you vex and send a " I am breaking up with you"message. Bad behavior cannot be excused but you cannot just divorce over things that can be worked out. The husband is cheating. Reprehensible. Has she spoken to him? No. Courts don't grant divorces anyhow. They will always order a family conference. Do you know how many cases I have had that the couple reconciled at the family conference, wasting My Time, MY brain and NOT COMPLETING MY fees. Matters that they can solve if they just applied a little tolerance and worked through their problem instead of running to divorce.

Choi. It used to pain me back then. I was happy they reconciled but complete my darn fee

pickabeau1:
How can pre nup become more widespread in Nigeria?

E go hard o. If a man approaches you for marriage in a typical naija setting and says he wants you to sign papers before he marries you, you go gree. First thought will be "eh heh, so this man was to Marry me and throw me out when he is tired of me and leave me with nothing" Pre nup will only be condoned between the super rich for now where both parties are bringing big cash into the marriage and don't want to lose it.

pickabeau1:
Thanks I was however interested in the Verdict .. more of legal ish



Ok.. if however you come across anything online, please let me know

Matter don end since. The lawyer during cross examination accused her of connivance and condoning since the man has multiple children outside I remember that day of judgement. his counsel walked up to my boss laughing...that we want to kill the man. Efcc is following him and now this. He does not know how we intend to squeeze 25 million from him. My boss said he does not know either, but squeeze we shall. Lol. My boss was a G back then. Very funny old guy.

Nike has divorced him too, so he has lost out in all ends

daretodiffer:
I do appreciate the information. Is this the first time the court would be reaching this decision or has there been several case laws prior to this case?

Yeah there have been many high profile ones. Can't remember those. Only the one we handled. We once represented a senior officer at a bank. The wife got 150,000 for maintenance fee every month for EACH of their three children, a property in Ajah he had initially bought for her but seized and a lump sum of 3.7 million.

Although he was our client, I was not too sympathetic because there was a lot of domestic abuse but there had been a lot of useless women frustrating their spouse trying to hit payday on the guy's head. I remember witnessing a case where the guy was suing the wife for allowance and maintenance of the children . People were snickering in court but I was proud of the guy. Equity is not just by mouth. After all, it is both their kids. Really, pre-nup should be a thing.

Timbuktou:
Leaving Nigeria is the highest risk? Not too hard to do if it's either that or paying up. Haven't you heard of men codedly transferring money to Ghana at the slightest hint of an ending marriage? Dr. Soleye was just being magnanimous is all and stewpid, especially as he was old money.

The guy tried to hide money. They always do but she has been his wife for years. She knew where the skeletons were buried.

raumdeuter:
Would you mind working for the OP? She needs to get out of this marriage immediately. I wouldnt want her to be subjected to the "archaic antiwomen" customs and culture of Nigeria. We dont want one more biter woman in this country. Lets get the divorce going so the two parties can live happy

OP this an a divorce attorney you have been looking for

I don't think the op is ripe for divorce. There is still room to fix things. I have seen and handled A LOT of STUPID STUPID cases. The juvenile reasons, the mudslinging, fighting over the children. Not a lifestyle I want to return to. Ever!

coogar:
be deceiving yourself.
dr tunde soleye & mrs funmi soleye built the fortunes together. it's only fair she was given a fraction of tunde soleye's assets. it's totally different from today's gold-digging nigerian women who are after made men & intended to reap where they didn't sow.

go & marry mike adenuga tonight....make sure you get evidence of his philandering ways and go to court with your evidence. let's see if the court would order him to pay you half of his assets you knew nothing about. you people just make me laugh mixing apples with oranges!

I agree with you to an extent. I remember one case between an elderly man and his youngest wife. Gbajabiamila.....I think. We had gotten the wife a nice settlement. The babe wanted the mansion. Ofcourse the court refused on grounds that it has been the family assets for over 40 years. She was so angry, she fired us as attorneys and went on appeal. My boss used to send one of us to go check on the case to know it's status. It was eventually thrown out.

I personally hate the whole American system that one small girl will marry you for a few months and seek to get half your fortune you have amassed over a lifetime.it is complete bakwas.

Note d law recognizes the contribution of the wife. Even if we didn't build up the Fortune together, she supported you by feeding, cleaning and general taking care of things. The law views it as if she had worked in the office with you. The more years the better.

The marriage act is very accommodating to the woman. But there is a lot of ignorance out there and the process can be tedious

pickabeau1:
Is there any way u can provide links for one to read up on this case judgements

I don't know if they are online, but they are public records. It will be in law journals by now. You can even get copies from the court house

TV01:
Please forgive my ignorance of this case. I hate divorce - as all lovers of marirage do !

But please, are you saying Nike (was she not the mistress?) also had to make a court-mandated payout? In these days of "no-fault divorce" - not sure if that obtains in Nigeria - I quite like that, but am not sure how it could happen? Nail the covenant breakers and the accomplice .




TV

The law allows you to join the party that your spouse is cheating with, to the suit. Nice right. The courts very rarely grants compensation against them though. It is very difficult to prove. This one was easy Cos they had done traditional marriage. we asked for 10 million sef. Court only granted one. My boss was a strong believer in Go big or go home.

daretodiffer:
It happened in the divorce case of Dr Tunde Soleye and his exwife( after his marriage to Nike Oshinowo). I don't know much about the ratio of the court

Don't mind them. I was one of the counsel for Mrs Soleye then. She asked for 75 million, got 25million and properties in London. She got one million from Nike. So you men can keep deceiving yourselves. Go to courts today. Women are fighting for huge payday.another one we were handling, the guy was paying her lawyer fees of about 2 million even as she was suing for half hus properties.

If you don't pay, its not hard. Unless you don't want to live/return to naija again, the courts have ways of enforcing judgements

livinbygrace:
Rubbish!!If you dont want them to post your picture,then stay away from social media.

Hope you will feel the same if someone takes your pictures off your Facebook and posts it around. She is a normal Nigerian citizen like you and I. She has every right to post pictures without seeing it everywhere

But is there a way to curb erosion? What are the governors doing? Is it when it collapses and lives are lost that they will address the problem?

Na wa o. Na una pikin? She does not want to show her baby. Her choice. There are people that won't upload their babies' pictures on Facebook. People here don't have profile pictures. Why do people think because someone is in the limelight, their lives become free-for-all, yet they are entitled to their privacy. Last I checked, the baby didn't release a single. Free her jare.

See people abusing based on a picture that really shows nothing. How many Nigerian girls have flat belly. Atleast wait until she gives birth 7 months from now to castigate

More from the step father

EDIT: The immediate aftermath was tantrum and people sitting there mumbling while not actually saying anything to me, but to each other. After much yelling with the GF about me being selfish, I spent the night in my home office and no one knocked on my door, not once. Today's aftermath is kind of depressing for me. GF brought me Bride's wedding planner to show me how much work I was ruining. I thumbed through it, found a page in the music section for Father / Daughter dances. All of the songs were catered to Real Dad's taste. So I thought they were just being disrespectful, but now I'm feeling like they never really gave a crap at all, especially since the menu included two ingredients I'm allergic to, that actually made me laugh. Either way, I'm glad to be done, returned the planner and asked her when she and bride could move out. Also, I never promised to pay for the wedding. I offered them the use of my home when they were sure it was going to be small, but other than that, all I've heard is how it's the Bride's family that should pay, so, let it be the bride's family then, aka, not me.
EDIT: June 9th 1:15 am. Girlfriend and Bride are now moved out. They are moving in with the groom. It was very hard not to be petty with some of the "belongings" they took with them, but it's done and I switched out the locks and now it's time for a brew. I can't believe how popular this story got, but I feel good to be given support by so many. If I find out what happens with the wedding, I will let you know, but I can't guarantee that I will put in the effort to find out. From what I've heard they are trying to "scale things back" and get his parents to help out. GF burned bridges when I found out she tried to write herself a check on our joint account the day after the unpleasantness. By then I had already moved money, so I guess I'm a bigger ass than her, but I could feel it coming. That's all. Thanks.

https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/1fl2xd/my_stepdaughter_wants_her_real_dad_to_give_her/

Perfect. She is not even his stepdaughter. Don't know he even took on the financial responsibilities in the first place

DJMCOTTY:
oma iwere! Mo kiaan dede!!!

Really? You had to quote the whole thing

These girls are extremely average na. I like Zamfara though. The rest......nah....

Yustash001:
He look more like Bobby Lashley....he should be proud of his country.....pls tell him only biceps and muscles can't do it...

The guy is a high flyer as well....a rare combination for a muscular guy. His Mic skills....well time will tell there

Intelligent thread

coolzeal:
It is not in your best interest to preach to us about surviving or living together peacefully as Biafrans. We have had enough and we want out.... Abeg make e no come be by force. Really, it's becoming embarrassing.

Bros, Ngwa and I were having a discussion. Wetin consign u na? No one can force you to stay but we love you all and want you to plan well and look at All your cards before leaping.......

Ngwaukwu1:
I'll mention two countries. Finland and Estonia.

Both countries were at one point in history part of the Russian empire - Finland (Tsarist Russia) and Estonia (Soviet Union). Both countries have since prospered more than what is left of Russia.

It's interesting that you mention Bosnia. The Bosnians are part of the over 10 incompatible nationalities that make up the southern European region known as the Balkans and from which the word 'balkanisation' is derived. I'm sure you're familiar with that word. It loosely means fragmentation or dismembering of a region. This region has a population of less than 60 million people, one third the population of 'one Naijeriya'. Think about it.

The interesting thing about the Balkans is that this region is much more identical to the current grouping of incompatible ethnic nationalities within the Niger area and they have the common sense to break up into smaller viable nations, after having gone through a lot of wars and blood shed.

The question you should be asking is not how many countries have broken away and is succeeding, but how many countries populatesld by numerous incompatible large nations within them have survived? Many of the nations within Nigeria are larger than many countries that stand alone.

The Igbo nation is arguably larger than the whole of the Balkan region and will prefer to look to the successes of Finland and Estonia as examples than the failures of South Sudan . . .

Bros you make me do research this night o. Fine. Finland and Estonia are doing splendid. But things to note. They got their freedom in 1917 and 1920. Finland had a civil war immediately after. And Estonia (long and splendid history) had a 14 month war with Russia before they got their freedom. It took years to rebuild and this was not an era of modern warfare. It was the good old days, where men went to fields and killed themselves. Now wars are.fought guerrilla style and in civilian population, making it difficult to end. War of any kind, must be avoided.

I was speaking of the war fought in.Bosnia in the.90s that saw even further divisions. I have to disagree partly with ethnic compatability forming a unified nation. The truth is there is no unity among Nigerians. The way some Yoruba look at ijebu, there exist internal beef amongst the igbos. I had an Anambran friend who swore off marrying from Imo. Supposing Biafra Is formed tomorrow and communal clashes begin amongst tribes. I am not saying it will but it seems a serious African problem now.

Honestly, as to your question about large nations. Does the UK or China count? Even though several counties/countries under them have sort independence.... These countries are still Flourishing.... #Wazobia all the way

Someone asked an important question yet to be answered. How Many countries has broken away And is succeeding today? Is it south sudan? Is it Eritrea? Is this all those small impoverished nations that broke from USSR but are today getting aid from Russia. Is it Bosnia? IS it North Korea?

Not saying it is impossible for Biafra to be a success l, but we should always look at precedence. igbos have businesses all over Nigeria and are doing well. There is no genocide against them as there was in South sudan or Bangladesh (broke from Pakistan and is one of the poorest country in the world). We need to put aside all these nonsense ethnic and religious divide that is holding a lot of African countries down and work together to become the BOSS nation we are meant to be. #ONELOVE #Wazobia

Guy. I agree with you. It's not hard. Call first bank customer service

As long as it is done in good humor and one mugu doesn't make it into something more vicious, they can Carry on

But Naija sef, upon all the wahala wey we get, we are abusing another country with impunity. Na wa o

Kudducini:
Ion Believe Gime A Link To His Page

bros e no hard to google am
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uhaa_Nation

MrScript:
Sesugh.. I guess he's from the tiv speaking tribe of Benue State...

Ok. Cool