₦airaland Forum

According to news on-line, the south Milwaukee board of health voted unanimously that a Nigeria dwarf goat is a farm animal and not a pet.
Based on the ruling the board is saying the goat must be removed from a home in the US. The health officers are however planning to give the owner time to find a new home for the goat.
The owner who is obviously very emotionally attached to his goat said "I understand. I have a pet. And I understand it's very difficult to not be able to keep that pet,"
I think the man should go to court since in America you can even get to supreme court over whether a goat is a pet or a far animal,
Really is a goat a pet or a farm animal, cos growing up we use to have many of them living in the house , so if its not a pet I think a Nigeria goat is not a farm animal but a house animal.

what do you feel?

http://www.naijareports..com/
Naijareports: Nigeria News and Rumour

.Police Stories 3, Didn't Inspector General Mike Okiro says bail is free?
I love Nigeria Police men, they are very innovative when it comes to making money.
The Inspector General is always fond of singing that bail is free but let me tell you from two experience how free is bail.
Experience 1: Police invited two of my people for a meeting over an unfounded an allegation. After the meeting they were told they cannot go except somebody signed bail. On the bail form it was written that bail is free that you should sign that you have not paid money for the bail and really as at then they did not request for money at all for the bail.
AFTER submitting the form, they refused to release my guy that no DCO to authorize. We were later told to get real that we either drop money or my people have to wait for DCO, that only Okiro think that bail is free, that if bail is free DCO signature is not free.
Experience 2: The court granted bail to two babes with the normal terminology that the surety must have a verifiable address. The police said that for them to confirm the address of the guarantor we will need to pay, if not the police will lock the babes up. Bail is free but to verify the bail is not free.
Oga Okiro, is bail really free?

http://www.naijareports..com/
Naijareports: Nigeria News and Rumour

According to Jamace, since politicians are looting, Police and the rest of us can continue collecting bribe and stealing,

That is really a funny idea.

The minister of petroleum was given a fine by the senate committee earlier in the week. He was fined a whole four thousand naira for refusing to honour four invitations of the national assembly. At that rate I can afford to miss a hundred.
I remember some foreigners were fined 1 million naira each for stealing a whole shipload of crude oil, I think that is why oil bunkering is good business, the risk is very minimal.
Lucky Igbiniedon is so lucky that he was fined 3.5 million naira after stealing billions, and we ask why politician steal.
The most ridiculous however is still Salisu Buhari. He disgraced the whole country by lying about his age and academic credential to become Mr Speaker, the number four citizen of this country. I am sure the guy was shocked and confused when told he was to pay 2000 naira. He will be wondering whether the judge is joking.
That is why I love naija too much,

http://www.naijareports..com/
Nigeria news and rumours

Abubakar Atiku we are told has 2 options, return to the PDP or…. We are not told the 2nd option.

To me the Turakin Adamawa has only one option, go back to PDP. He is almost ostracize in AC, he cant even deliver his state like Orji kalu pointed out and he needs PDP probably more than PDP needs him, what do you feel

http://www.naijareports..com/

It was Governor Suswan of Benue state that started it all when he implied that the poor quality of debate in the house of representative was due to the level of education of the members.

He has apologized that he did not plan to insult the house but fact is sacred.

A survey by Thisday newspaper shows that its not only in age and maturity that the senate is the upper house but also in education. It will explain a lot of the house behavior including the fight that we must have 2 chairmen to write a new constitution.

Almost 25 % of the senate have a 2nd degree and none have less than a professional certificate with most having first degree or HND, while the record of 2 cannot be confirmed.

In the house we have a lot of people claiming to have WAEC/SSCE/NECO, we are not even sure they passed and not that it was when they were coming to the house they organized a certificate. A large number also have OND and funny diplomas.

The most funny is the number of not available, which I think might be a mistake. The NA probably means not applicable that education is not applicable to most of them. So the next time you feel the house is misbehaving or not making sense, just know it’s the level of education,

http://naijareports..com/2009/03/senators-representatives-and-academic.html

Some people feel education dodoesn'tatter, what do you feel,

Mohammad Buhari is considering his options in respect to his presidential ambitions.

He feels he has three options (i think one for each of the Supreme Court judges that supported him). He can stay in ANPP, move with his supporters to another party or form a new party.

I think unless there is a coalition of opposition parties to form a mega party he should just retire home.

http://naijareports..com/2009/03/options-before-buhari-and-atiku.html

A journalist Lanre Alfred narrates how he was attacked supposedly by armed robbers dressed in police uniform. They beat him black and blue, threatened to kill him, damage his car, collect his money, wrist watch, laptop and other personal belongings and finally let him go. Let’s allow Uncle Lanre to finish his story, after he got into his car and fled…,
‘…, The next police check I got to was behind the prestigious Sheraton hotel, I told the police about my ordeal, all what they could tell me was to go and bring the yobbos (robbers) that they would arrest them, very funny…….’
Oga lanre, just thank your luck the police men were in a good mood or they would have arrested you for being a public nuisance, giving false information, being negligent or joint commission etc. ,

For more police stories, http://naijareports..com/2009/03/police-stories-part-1.html

The crew at naija reports apologizes to the executive governor Yobe state, for mistakenly omitting him from the list of nominees for the month of February.

Alhaji Ibrahim Geidem in a single policy tackled 3 important issues.

The whole world is in an economic recession and facing a credit crunch, he decides to tackle it with his own stimuli. The policy also tackles the health crisis by providing a solution to the HIV epidemic. Thirdly the policy rebrands the state, and also helps more of the indigene to behave better and probably enter paradise.

The governor of Yobe state for deciding to sponsor marriages at the Damaturu central mosque (in a secular society) so that more people will be able to get married and reduce waywardness is not only a nominee for our comedian of the month but the winner.

Keep it up gov, lol

(Do you have any other nominne, tell us)

http://www.naijareports..com/

(This was mistakenly posted under politics before)

If we have a Nigerian dream like the American dream, what will be involved for a naija man to be successful? What does a youth need to do to achieve the naija dream?

I was told a long time ago to be rich you work for it, steal it, win a lottery, inherit it or marry it.

A newspaper over the weekend carried this survey about Naija youths and how they plan to achieve the naija dream.

40% believe fraud (yahooze), looting of government funds is the easiest way to wealth.

25% believe that traveling abroad for greener pastures.

20% believe education is the easiest way. Employment after schooling.

10% believe starting out as an entrepreneur mostly trading is the easiest.

5% believe in others.

What do you believe is the way to the naija dream, especially since most rich girls only marry rich boys.

http://naijareports..com/2009/03/nigerian-dream.html

1. President Yaradua for his solution to the economic recession. Cut salary by 10% while allowing more corruption and the country will move forward, I will nominate him for a Nobel award in economics.
2. Ojo Madueke, Foreign Affair Minister ; the man has always been an entertainer extraordinaire. I hope we can still remember his bicycle incident but this month he surpasses himself.
Starting with him and his ambassador to US rubbishing the country by making public what should have been confidential. In most countries the ambassador will have left for personal reasons or health grounds. Madueke has won and Nigeria is the laughing stock of all western press. He also claimed that the witch children of Eket never happened that the parents and kids must have been paid. Is the guy real?
3. Ibrahim Lame, Police Minister. We thought the man cannot be better than last month, but by claiming that police are performing beyond expectation he broke all records. We are still wondering whether one of the reasons he was appointed minister is his sense of humor. I can just imagine him sitting beside Madueke during FEC meeting,


http://naijareports..com/2009/03/comedian-of-month.html

If we have a Nigerian dream like the American dream, what will be involved for a naija man to be successful? What does a youth need to do to achieve the naija dream?

I was told a long time ago to be rich you work for it, steal it, win a lottery, inherit it or marry it.

A newspaper over the weekend carried this survey about Naija youths and how they plan to achieve the naija dream.

40% believe fraud (yahooze), looting of government funds is the easiest way to wealth.

25% believe that traveling abroad for greener pastures.

20% believe education is the easiest way. Employment after schooling.

10% believe starting out as an entrepreneur mostly trading is the easiest.

5% believe in others.

What do you believe is the way to the naija dream, especially since most rich girls only marry rich boys.

http://naijareports..com/2009/03/nigerian-dream.html

I was in a police station and later court yesterday and it was fun,

I don't think Opa williams or Ali baba can organize a better show,

A guy was charged for being a public nuisance, wandering by another name, even the judge was like he thought police no longer charge people for such,

A guy was charge for dishonestly receiving stolen goods because he bought a land from people who stole the original document,

A guy is charged for collecting money from a babe to get him a house, the guy is claiming that they were lovers and the girl is just angry he no marry am, that he is not an estate agent etc,

I learnt the two difference between police bail and court bail and how the police make money from both,

Share with us your experience with the police, hopefully the funny ones not the tragic

enjoy your weekend.

http://www.naijareports..com/

In my village they will say that abuses finish in the house of its owner. It was Orji Kalu that went to look for trouble by repeating what everybody has been saying and know all along that Abubakar Atiku is not principled or that he betrayed some of his supposedly supporters by his visit to Obasanjo. It was nothing new, just Orji trying to be relevant and telling Nigeria he is still alive, but he got more than he bargained for.
‘He is a liability and not an asset to any serious person. It is a measure of how low this country has descended that a man standing trial for corruption should be going around with a swagger and maligning his elders in order to earn some political points’…Round 1
‘As someone who occasionally suffers from memory loss and deliberately distorts history to suits his selfish motives’……, Round 2
‘Blinded by his own ambition and the delusion that the presidency of Nigeria is open to just anyone with money and sufficient rascality’……Round 3
‘Grow up because a man nearing 50 should not continue to play the jester, in case he does not know this, few people take him seriously in this country’………
http://naijareports..com/2009/02/when-abubakar-atiku-abused-orji-kalu.html

We used to have 3, later it became 4, increased by 300% to 12, and people still wanted more. It became 19, later 21, we increased it to 30 and its now 36 but the agitation for more states never ends.
People are asking for such states as Katagun, Apa, Shira, Adada, Equity, Orlu, Aba, Ogoni, Ugwuka, Tiga, Gari,Savannah, Njaba Remo-Jebu, Anioma, Obigbo, Ibadan Kaduna south and even Oduduwa and Equity.
Let me use three of the names, Equity, Gari and Apa to explain my view, to have ‘Equity’ (just imagine a state with a name like that) my father's house must be given a state of its own, and you know its all about ‘Gari’ we are all fighting about what we are going to eat. Finally most of the agitators are just ‘Apa’, wasters who just want to waste the country’s scarce resources to pay more public office holders than to develop the country,

http://naijareports..com/2009/02/state-creation-do-we-really-need-more.html

The guy is a liar, If he was that sharp he will not pay 350k for those documents in 1987.

Its like claiming he will pay 2.5 million this year, haba everybody for oluwole go buy private jet,

We have different stories about all the riots in Bauchi and they all seem impossible.
The first story is that two Islamic sects were fighting over the use of the mosque. A sect did not finish on time so a quarrel started and the mosque was set ablaze. Other Muslims not knowing who set the mosque on fire started rioting.
Another is that some Muslims politely requested the use of a church compound to park their cars which was not granted. Can you imagine such an affront, so an argument ensued and because the church was not converted to a car park it was burnt, life and properties were lost.
Another is that a truck broke down between a church and a mosque and the Muslims assumed that the Christians intentionally set up a barricade to disturb them from going for Friday prayers and before you can say Jack Robinson….
Nobody has told me any reason that makes sense, a reason that the riot will be worth it….We need prayers in this country.

http://naijareports..com/2009/02/why-they-are-fighting-in-bauchi.html

The funniest thing was that a few weeks ago the police minister was telling us police are performing beyond expectation.

http://naijareports..com/2009/02/police-are-performing-beyond.html

Next week i might tell you some of my experience with them both personally and in official capacity,

Like how do police collect money for bail without breaking the law, do you know the most expensive files are bought in the police station and what a lady IPO told me and i finally gave up etc,

Lastma and the rest collects bribe cos of the police.

If Lastma knows that the police will arrest him for bribe he will not, or maybe they are collecting more because they still needs to bribe the police, lol

Who do you think will win the Akita state election tribunal today, Fayemi or Oni?

I have a feeling its ONI but i am asking myself the following questions,

Is Oni going to win because PDP cannot afford to loss 3 in a row, and after Edo and Abia, will make sure Ekiti is won?

Is Oni going to win because he won the election or he is going to win because Fayemi and AC mess up the case, they prefer to try the case in newspaper than in Court,

What is your view?

http://www.naijareports..com/

“It’s the image of a lone police man I hold on to. He is chubby, affable ands wearing an helmet. When he stopped us in Edo state or shortly before we left Ondo state, Okey exhausted from all the checkpoint made to give him 200 naira, but he refused. He asked for our car papers, looked at them carefully, says that everything is completes and he adds ‘safe journey’. As we drove away I looked back wishing I knew his name” , Chimanmanda Ngozi Adichi

Did she saw an angel or do we still have good policemen?

I really wish i know his name, i will have nominated him for man of the year, lol


http://www.naijareports..com/

Please based on what criteria is Adams Oshiomole man of the year for 2008 according to sun newspaper?

I think we need to ask ourself in this country how Dbanj was Future award person of the year, i wont be suprise if an organisaction declared IBB is man of the decade or century,

http://naijareports..com/2009/02/man-of-year.html

Xavier,

Why don't you agree you are wrong,

I gave you the column inside Wednesday guardian, do you want more places you can check,

I said worst banks for your deposit and i point out the fact we are talking average deposit rate, I did not say UBA or any bank is closing down

Did you work for one of the banks or deposit money with them, lol

Hello Xavier,

How did you know its not back up by any fact,

Check Money Watch of Wednesday Guardian and you will see same table, the difference is that the table contain all the banks arrange in alphabetical order which is not useful for you and I,

The report is for January,

I hope you did not put your money in one of those worst banks, lol

Jamace,

The list is the average they will pay on deposit, most people will get less,

We have 24 banks, those are the top four and the bottom four, the rest like FCMB and PHB are in between,

You can check CBN website for the full list,

CBN have finally said all banks must report how much interest they will pay on deposit and will collect on loans. We all know most of them might not give us loans and they will always add hidden charges, so what really concern us is how much they will pay on our deposit. Remember what they are giving is average, you can get more or less depending on amount, tenor, negotiating ability, etc.

The best 4 banks according to the January list are,
1.GT Bank 16%
2.Access Bank 15.5%
3.Ecobank 15%
4.Intercontinental bank 14.80%

The worst 4 Banks are,
1.United Bank for Africa
2.Standard Chartered
3.Spring Bank
4.Oceanic Bank

First Bank, Stanbic IBTC, Unity Bank and Zenith are not part of the report because what CBN reported for them is a range and not an average. Our own calculation of the average from that range however does not place them in either among the best or worst four.


http://naijareports..com/2009/02/best-and-worst-bank-to-deposit-your.html

If Ribadu was born in some country, people will nominate him for president,

In Nigeria we are saying since he did arrest all the thieves like its possible to arrest all,

Even Jesus said we will always have the poor among us, so we will always have thieves, Ribadu only reduced the number that Farida is now increasing,

Tats,

Do Nigeria really appreciate what El Rufai did?

Are we not Jubilating now that EFCC is claiming he is not an angel, even if most of the allegations are unsubstantiated?

Naija na wa ooooo

El Rufai’s crimes are not the allocations at the last hour, that is done everywhere, even America president dash out pardons at the last moment like its going out of business. Why is he the only guilty minister of FCT? Even Smart Adeyemi has to remind senators to fear God.

The number one sin is that he reminds people too much of Ribadu. I wonder who played outside whether it was Pa Ribadu or Pa Rufai but one did because they must be half brothers. To remind people of Ribadu is an unforgivable sin.

Sin number two is his stature. I think the man is too short and wiry. We have this notion that a short man is a bad and dangerous man, they cause most of the world’s trouble, and nobody trusts a lean man.

Sin number three is that he talks too much. Even if senators ask you for bribe why tell people? If they are not making sense or being childish you are supposed to smile and not point it out. You don’t need to tell people you are right all the time.

http://naijareports..com/2009/02/many-sins-of-el-rufai.html


Sin no four is that he was a mad man. Only a mad man is over zealous in Nigeria. What concerns El Rufai and Abuja master plan, even if we build hotels in green areas and build mansions on drainages, why was he working like it was his father’s business, Nigerians don’t want it, don’t deserve it and don’t appreciate it.

I still feel the problem is its in his Genes. He must be Ribadu’s half brother, because Ribadu is guilty of all these crimes too.

We are told the latest crisis in Bankole’s house of rep is over whether the 4million given to them in December is an overdraft or a bonus and not just the power probe report. We wonder why the people that collected the money (since we discovered it’s not everybody), will assume they are special so it should be a bonus, or maybe they assume that it should be converted into a bonus and the rest of the house should collect their own. This notion is supported by the complaint by members, that why is the house returning 2 billion naira unspent fund, when really that will have paid for the bonus and still leave about half a billion naira?

The house that has not yet explained the inflated committee cars that was bought last year despite collecting money under monetization for cars, the rumor that the fight over constitution review is over the money to be spent and are now saying bank’s loan should be converted to bonus; we need to check the meaning of honorable again….

http://naijareports..com/2009/02/house-of-reps-4-million-naira.html

Every mother assumes her child is handsome and good, but I think our comedian of a the police affair Minister, Ibrahim Lame stretched it a little bit,
I know we don't expect much from the police again but in a month that Falana sued them for arms trafficking in Ekiti, they started arresting goat in Kwara, accusation of rape in Lagos etc , haba.
If the expectation is that bad, can we please dissolve the Nigeria police and start using civil defense corp?

www.naijareports..com

Last week it was 17 billion in Bank PHB, this week its 17.7 billion in intercontinental,

We know the banks are competing for award, PAT etc, are they competing for frauds too, lol

www.naijareports..com