₦airaland Forum

Common guys! d guy try now. considering that it's 2 inches when standing erect

olulu:
clem honey,

u knw my teeth widely displayed is a huge turn on for u baby,

u feel me

She can't feel ur 2 inches!

Then tell us where on earth av u been?

Anyway, missed ur jokes!

clemcykul:
good joke

ure welcome back

Welcome back from prison?

A bloody South African can kill their President and their whole cabinet members just to steal a Rand. Buncha lazy pricks. WHat do u xpect, when na our money them dey steal home to develop their useless country.

We will boycott it!

Abbygyal:
lmao
what a pity, may he rest in peace

Or in pieces

At the 2007 World Women's Conference:

The first speaker, from England , stood up:

'At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well, after the conference I went home
and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw
nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb.' The crowd cheered.

The second speaker, from America , stood up:

'After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he
would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after
the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well.' The crowd cheered.

The third speaker, from Nigeria , stood up:

After last year conference, I go house and tell my husband say I no go cook again, clean, or go market for am
again, and dat na im go dey do am by imsef. After the first day I no see anytin, the second day sef, I see notin.
But after the third day, as the swelling begin go down, na im my eyes come dey clear, and I start to dey see small small from my left eye.

'The Obedient Wife'

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real 'miser' when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, 'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.'

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,

'Wait just a moment!'
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said,

'Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'

The loyal wife replied, 'Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.'
You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'
'I sure did,' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check, If he can cash it, then he can spend it.'

I still believe Martin (not that i like him though) shouldnt be criticised for not honouring the friendly match against Austria. Men! give the guy a break nah! Afterall, he has been honoring matches before now.

@Dr. Kitaun

Am old enough to know that Nigeria neglects past heroes.

think not about what the country can do for u but rather what u can do for your country !
I think am tired of hearin this trash. How many Nigerians can still do that?

If i contribute N100,000 to buy Seun the ride would he still ban me if break any of his rule?

Common guys! get serious! Seun should be or has a lot of potentials to make money himself and buy a ride!

Thats my opinion guys. U respect it or better still jump into the lake. What has Nigeria done for those who av contributed in making us proud. Have u ever asked of where Peter Fregene is? Or the guy who designed the national flag? Leave matter jo! If something should happen to any of the players; what do u think Nigeria would do for them?

Talking about Martin. So u peeps think he shouldnt get a life outta football right. Am sure he must av taken permission to attend the wedding. Naija is not a country worth dying for ooo.

Nothing spectacular about today's match. The Super Fowl havent arrived yet.

Infact heh! na inside bush i dey hide now as their papas dey look for me with cutlass. U see wetin ur lecture cause?

@Clemcy, hw u dey? It's been quite awhile. Hope u settled that issue with that woman wey u wound the husband to death?

One day a man was sitting in his office on the 19th floor of a building. A man came running into his office and shouted, “John, your daughter, Anna, just died in an accident right opposite this building"

The gentleman was in panic. Not knowing what to do, he jumped out through his office window.



While coming down, when he was near the 14th floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Anna.



When he was near the 7th floor, he remembered he was not married yet.



When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not John.

Him nick name na Odenson!

THE HAIR DRYER

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her:

Woman: "Father, may I ask a favor?"

Priest: "Of course. What may I do for you?"

Woman: "Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me………. Under your robe perhaps?"

Priest: "I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."

Woman: "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you." When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.



Custom Officer: "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

Priest: "From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare." The official thought this answer strange, so asked,



Custom Officer: "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

Priest: "I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."



Custom Officer: (Roaring with laughter, said) "Go ahead, Father." Next!



Now……………………………………… truly, did the priest lie?

lol

Ordinary car ride u, u begin cry. what of when trailer jam u!

@Ibk

Is it becos of Kola's small kini insertion u r crying? Huh?

Thanks Sir

I am aply to my job of security guard to you boss in you company of Shoprite. I complete to Grade 8 examination certificate in 1997.



My skool very good.



I am 27 ears to be Born of age and no mallied and no

childish.



My father is dead long time ago and my mother mary

in Zimbabwe country there 10 years now, no see she so

nobody known to help me.



My certificate is just sitting home for itself, but passes in Mathematics, Geography, Science and all subjects but fail in English because of Zulu teacher, Mr Mahlangu, teaching me is jelos of myself. Me wear expenses cloth than Zulu teacher.



I here people you want security guards to you company and I tell you I Am one of that job experience for 2 years. I shot thief dead. I want to Join the company of you and chase criminal out with me AK47.



Please consider my aplication careful and call me any time because me Have celphone. I am red for interview with you. I am very hornest and can speak English free.



Please also greet your wife.



And rememba that English is not our mother land!!





Yours in faith







Sandile Masalat Lancelord Ndebele Thwalamabho

u never ready to sell laptop. useless club!

@Mpele, u being white makes u more stupid. U r so dumb! Gosh! U r a disgrace to human race. What makes u think aint successful? Guess u r one of the white pigs who thinks they r African! I pity u. U born of a cursed generation. U r just scared that foreigners esp Nigerians would take over ur jobs cos they ar smarter. I would never step into that crime infested country. Dats a promise. Roam in pieces u scumbag.

Mpele is suffering from cheap crack. Stupidest dumb ass. Ur Mama and Papa would be crushed by an imaginary bicycle and ur kids would never live to celebrate their 10th year birthday. How dare u say these words against Nigerians. U scumbag. NFA better cancel the football match against ur stupid bafana dummies or else their blood would be used to paint the national stadiums. U guys should be eliminated from the face of the planet. Lazy hooligans!

@Poster u be real aje kpako

What of maize? Mouth Organ abi?

Nice joke @poster.

That woman sabi jabo too much. She for ask where the ball hit am first b4 proceeding on the therapy. But come to think of it, me i no mind that kind over sabi ooo

Them force ur eyes come "Gunners Thread". If no be poke nose na wetin u dey find here? Oya zooooom