₦airaland Forum

But if it was the yoruba man that was tied on the Igboman's back, u would think it's hilarious abi? Buncha tribalist twats!

Sharaaaaaaaaaaap! Who asked u 2 come online? Av u finished washing those plates

I thot this Xiomarra person na adult? Gosh! I bin think say na teenager. Na wao oo. How can u be so loud with insults like that? Am really disappointed; to even think ur children would be proud of u

myholydove:
Nigerians should not only boycot MTN, DSTV and everything SOUTH AFRICAN in Nigeria, we should go ahead and start

destroying every MTN mast near your area, we should start sabotaging anything SOUTH AFRICAN in Nigeria. this

Xenophobic tendencies by the SOUTH AFRICANS has to stop.

If only we had known we would have allowed apartheid to continue in their country.

As for our corrupt leaders, their souls will eternally rot in HELL and they will die miserably, their children will not

enjoy their father's stolen wealth.

LET ALL AFRICANS BOYCOT WORLD CUP 2010 IN SOUTH AFRICA.

Bros! Start by destroying ur own first. Do know how much these coys pay in terms of taxes or the jobs they've given Nigerians? Lets think straight and condemn what some sets of jobless holigans are doing to foreigners. South Africians are not entire bad people. Afterall, we dey kill ourselves too.!

The guy tire me oo.

@Mpele, I feel ur pains! But don't let me catch you eyeing any Nigerian babe oo

Gone Golfing
One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing. Ben slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.

Ben searches diligently throught the thick underbrush and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.

Ben excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: "Hey Thomas, come here, I got big trouble down here."

Thomas comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out: "What's the matter Ben?"

Ben shouts back in a nervous voice: "Throw me my 7-iron! Looks like you can't get out of here with an 8-iron."

Men Can Never Win
- If you work too hard, you re not spending enough time with her. If you don't work hard enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

- If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

- If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

- If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

- If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.

- If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

- If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor.

- If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you re a slob.

- If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

- If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist. If you're not, you're not ambitious.

Donations
After the church service, a little boy told the pastor he was going to give him a lot of money when he grew up.

"Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "But why?"

"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had!"

No Help
A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.

Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that's going to help."

"Sure it will." he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

@Mpele, If i see your leg for Abuja heh! We go castrate and then circumcise u again

@Mpele, I really appreciate ur concern over this issue but it doesnt matter whether those killed were Nigerians. The point is that it's wrong to shed innoncent blood be it Nigerians, Ghanians, Zims, Tanzanians etc. Humans are equal in the eyes of God. The Killings should be stopped and the perpetrators arrested! S.A. should remember that ur citizens live elsewhere and repraisal attacks could also take place. Pass this message to ur people. AND I PROMISE U THAT NO MEMBER OF MY FAMILY WOULD EVER STEP INTO UR COUNTRY AGAIN!

Florency:
I guess it is because Nigerians are a bunch of thieves that are known thoughout the world for there untrustworthy ways . This may be why no one in the world will give us a bank account and in fact condems us all to scratch around in the mud to eat fleas. Imagine what it could have been like if we had only been decent up standing race of people. We would ALL l have been successful . Now we are looked on as a race of credit card scammers. There is no point carrying on.

Am sorry but ur point make no sense!

We Nigerians are not hostile and would not do anything to harm innocent foreigners. We can only brag but not stupid to act in a barbaric and shameless way like the South Africans. Nigerian risked their lives and resources to deliver the S.A from the shackless of Apathied but check out the ways u r now paying us back! But Nigerians that i know would not retaliate!

Boneless Chicken Breasts
A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher.

"Don't worry, ya ," he said. "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."

Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."

Doctor's Visit
A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room.

But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope, doctor, you don't mind Johnny being in there."

"No," said the doctor calmly, "He'll be quiet when he gets to the poisons."

Working
"How long have you been working at that office ?"

"Ever since they threatened to fire me."

Recent Quips from Late Night
"Anybody go down to the Crawford ranch for the big Jenna Bush wedding over the weekend? , It was a lovely affair and God bless the kids. It's so nice so, sweet, romantic. But do you know there is a rice shortage? Are you aware of the fact you can't get rice in this country? So, when the wedding was over, they threw caramelized onions." --David Letterman

"Over the weekend in Texas, President Bush's daughter, Jenna, got married. Very nice, yeah. Afterwards, President Bush said, 'I haven't cried that much since Steve left 'Blues Clues.'' --Conan O'Brien

"Well, as reported, some Democrats are quietly sending word to Hillary that it's over. And Hillary's people said it's not over until the fat lady sings. To which Bill said, 'There's a fat lady? Where?'" --Jay Leno

"How about that presidential race? Hillary Clinton just won't quit. Can you believe that, ladies and gentlemen? You have to admire somebody who, against all odds, just won't quit. I mean, right now she has absolutely no chance whatsoever of being president, but she just won't quit. And they're running out of money. Hillary Clinton, God bless her, is running out of money. And today she was wearing a certified pre-owned pantsuit." --David Letterman

"Right now, this is interesting, director Oliver Stone is making a movie about President Bush that's called 'W.' Yeah. He's also making a movie about John McCain called 'No Country for Old Men.'" --Conan O'Brien

"No, Hillary Clinton said she will not give up, she will go to the convention, and she will win. And then the bartender said, 'Ma'am, it's 3:00, we're closing.' In fact, you hear Hillary's new slogan? 'I'm just in it now to annoy the hell out of everybody.'" --Jay Leno

"Political experts are saying the only thing that can stop Barack Obama now is a major sex scandal. And that's not gonna happen, because Barbara Walters said, 'He's way too young for me.'" --Jay Leno

@Poster, Haba! av read this joke like 5 times last week now

@Coke

Go to business section u would find plenty(Shareholders). Dis place na Jokes Section (jokeholders)

Cry

why now?

@Ibk, which one be ur own nah? Na crime to help buy somebody's product?

[quote author=ibro555 link=topic=124691.msg2259141#msg2259141 date=12107723
I stopped using MTN years ago and vowed never to use it again. Ever.
[quote][/quote]Too bad! why u come dey announce am nah! MTN still dey make profit after u stop wella!

@Ademiller, if what u r selling is real? THink am interested but need serious convincing that ur product is goood. So can u meet me at Ikoyi Club at 4pm Sunday evening for some serious _flexing negotiations?

F.E.A.R.: F**k Everything And Run!

Don't follow me, I am lost too!

People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege.

Don't play stupid with me, I'm better at it.

Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

SEX is not the answer. SEX is the question and YES is the answer!!




Kids in the backseat cause accidents
Accidents in the backseat cause Kids




Did You Ever Wonder, ()

Is it ok to use the AM radio after noon?

What do you call a male lady bug?

When a dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why there are floatation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
Have you ever imagined the world without hypothectical situations?




Love is a sensation that starts by the temptation, a guy sticks his location in a girls destination to populate the next generation. Do you get the explanation or do you need a demonstration?




A kiss blown is a kiss wasted, the only real kind of kiss is a kiss tasted




I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.




Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!




Sex is like MATH.
You ADD the bed
SUBTRACT the clothes
DIVIDE the legs
and MULTIPY




Good Girls are only Bad girls who did not get caught!!

[b]F.E.A.R.: F**k Everything And Run!

Don't follow me, I am lost too!

People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege.

Don't play stupid with me, I'm better at it.

Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

SEX is not the answer. SEX is the question and YES is the answer!!




Kids in the backseat cause accidents
Accidents in the backseat cause Kids




Did You Ever Wonder, ()

Is it ok to use the AM radio after noon?

What do you call a male lady bug?

When a dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why there are floatation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
Have you ever imagined the world without hypothectical situations?




Love is a sensation that starts by the temptation, a guy sticks his location in a girls destination to populate the next generation. Do you get the explanation or do you need a demonstration?




A kiss blown is a kiss wasted, the only real kind of kiss is a kiss tasted




I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.




Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!




Sex is like MATH.
You ADD the bed
SUBTRACT the clothes
DIVIDE the legs
and MULTIPY




Good Girls are only Bad girls who did not get caught!![/b]

[b]F.E.A.R.: F**k Everything And Run!

Don't follow me, I am lost too!

People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege.

Don't play stupid with me, I'm better at it.

Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

SEX is not the answer. SEX is the question and YES is the answer!!




Kids in the backseat cause accidents
Accidents in the backseat cause Kids




Did You Ever Wonder, ()

Is it ok to use the AM radio after noon?

What do you call a male lady bug?

When a dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why there are floatation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
Have you ever imagined the world without hypothectical situations?




Love is a sensation that starts by the temptation, a guy sticks his location in a girls destination to populate the next generation. Do you get the explanation or do you need a demonstration?




A kiss blown is a kiss wasted, the only real kind of kiss is a kiss tasted




I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.




Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!




Sex is like MATH.
You ADD the bed
SUBTRACT the clothes
DIVIDE the legs
and MULTIPY




Good Girls are only Bad girls who did not get caught!![/b]

[b]F.E.A.R.: F**k Everything And Run!

Don't follow me, I am lost too!

People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege.

Don't play stupid with me, I'm better at it.

Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

SEX is not the answer. SEX is the question and YES is the answer!!




Kids in the backseat cause accidents
Accidents in the backseat cause Kids




Did You Ever Wonder, ()

Is it ok to use the AM radio after noon?

What do you call a male lady bug?

When a dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why there are floatation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
Have you ever imagined the world without hypothectical situations?




Love is a sensation that starts by the temptation, a guy sticks his location in a girls destination to populate the next generation. Do you get the explanation or do you need a demonstration?




A kiss blown is a kiss wasted, the only real kind of kiss is a kiss tasted




I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.




Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!




Sex is like MATH.
You ADD the bed
SUBTRACT the clothes
DIVIDE the legs
and MULTIPY




Good Girls are only Bad girls who did not get caught!![/b]

@J-Unit

Na only South Africa wey pple dey run from, na him u dey brag with? Na wao! I go to spend just the weekend in London! If na u, u for don waka naked!

which reality?