₦airaland Forum

ismaeel86:
This is no comedy, it was a research done by some folks at a university in Nassarawa State Nigeria, i came across it on voogle
If na lie make i wear boxer before my jeans

coogar:
of course - 10 times your current pay.
28 days holiday + pension/gratuity.

Good deal. I'm down. 

coogar:
--body massage.
--office duties.
--bedroom business.

hehehe. Interesting. Errmm, you're gonna pay extra bucks though---  

ismaeel86:
Among the 99.8%, 80% are over weight while 18% are slim but still have pot belly, 1.8% are suffering from hormonal inbalance. According to a research carried out by a reliable source who choose to remain anonymous, most black females have pot belly due to the following reasons:

1. Attending wedding parties so that they can have free food and drinks. And most of these foods are high in calories and fat contents such as jollof rice and huge slice of beef, small and big stout, pounded yam, amala, chin chin, lacasera and can drinks.

2. Most black females are now heavy drinkers as they are now competing with guys in this act. you can find them in most joint and clubs consuming the liqour and drowning in it like fish.

3. Most African girls have lost their African values and dont like cooking fresh food but instead prefer eating junks such as boli and groundnut, gala and lacasera, and fast food. this is beacuse most of them are now working class and have little time to prepare a good meal.

4. Finally, the african weather is very hot and humid, which makes a lot of people to drink plenty of water. some girls can consume up to 60 litres of water in a day. and the water they consume are not hygenic.

Pure Comedy!

coogar:
i hope you realize we are not talking about camels here.

lol-- No mind am.

Sir, what does working for you as "Siri" entail?

cantell:
@op,
Got nothin to say.

Nayah:
The link between millions and belly is quite unrelevant since in America, [b]"big people" are known to be poor [/b]because of junk food, so I really think this is not things our brother should take in account

reinedamse:
@babe-: ignoring youuuuuuuuuuuu

That one na your problem. I'm not ready to ignore you though. 

Next time you want to feed us stories, just remember that there are people like me on here ,that don't have a life outside Nairaland, and that are ready to scrutinize your story for authenticity.

arsenefc:
You look Asian in that 'boskoro.' Are you half-Asian?

Ching chung?

Chei! Me, Boskoro? May God forgive you.
Yes, I am.

2buff:
Look, don't make me kiss you 

edicolove:
The fact that many are voting corruption only means that Nigerians do not even know what their problem is. A basic understanding of causes and effects will show you that corruption is not a cause but an effect. There are issues that are classified as causes and corruption is not one of them. Corruption itself is a result of something more fundamental.

coogar:
come work for me - i will double your pay.
deal?

coogar:
do you work for the fbi?

reinedamse:
babe,must u be so rude and nasty.u r probably one of the many NERDS [/b]on nairaland who av no life outside nairaland.i'm 25, started dating d guy at 17, lost my virginity to him,dedicated 8 Years of my life and everything to him.i don't need u to believe my story and i don't need to post pictures of myself to convince you.i guess liars never believe others do they? pls just quit d nasty attitude cos i'm not exactly nice too.

There you go! You snapped because you were busted! Ha!

I'm not being rude and nasty. I'm simply making sense.

Again, you're right. I have no life off Nairaland.



These were your words ;

"I'm guilty of punishing my ex-boyfriends too .infact,it has become a principle for me,if u dump me, i deal with you."

Now lemme analyse this sh1t.

Ex-boyfriend[b]s

coogar:
haha - sherlock holmes!!!

Na me be that.

reinedamse:
No Dear i'm not confused, i sure need a man but not to hold and to cherish, to drain and to dump.i'm just 25.i heard d eggs start ageing wen u r like 40

Chei! So you're only 25 and you're this depressed? That guy no try o. Haba? You started dating him when you were 15/16/17?

Nawa. Berra quit lying. You're 36. And pls post your pictures again.

reinedamse:
who says i cannot use a man,get his fluid and dump his sorry as*

hehehehehe. Can you see you're confused?! You still need a man after-all.

Sha do it fast fast, before your eggs start aging. You know men "manufacture" a huge number of sp[i]e[/i]rms almost everyday. You, as a woman have a fixed number of eggs, and they become nonviable after a while. So m'aam hurry up.

reinedamse:
i don't even pray for anyone to experience it cos it really wasn't funny.i'm just a strong person dats y i was able to move n. but kokoye, don't u feel guys are cruel towards women??anywayz, i barely have time for men dis days.Thank GOD i av an interesting job to keep me busy. i don't need a man in my life. wen its time for me to av kids, i'll go for IVF.i'm not a lesbo though,i was just kidding but seriously,men appall me.

reinedamse:
wa to kogbon!!

reinedamse:
babe, i'm very sure u've never invested in a long term relationship b4(8 yrs to be precise). if u av, and u ended up being lied to,cheated, used and dumped,then u will understand better.

reinedamse:
maybe u r d happy-go-lucky kind of girl dat believes r/tionships are all about chocolates and teddy bears alone.

coogar:
she's on a suicide mission - she's ready to die for her fellow ladies.
boko haram needs her.

reinedamse:
i did it(and will do it again) for my fellow ladies out there.

reinedamse:
@kokoye and babe,Thanks for d insults.i let it pass.My prayer for you is dat GOD should allow u or your sisters to experience wat i experienced then u will understand the real meaning of the saying "all hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".For now, its easy for u to keep blabbing.

Come back Hia!   Who are you preashing to? Insults? Who insulted you? Rabbish.

Fine Fine. Some guy did some nasty things to you in the past, and he probably deserved whatever you did to him (hope you didn't kill him sha).  

How logical and reasonable is it to take "revenge" on every man you come across because of some douche bag?

Ko make sense rara.

So if a guy dumps you, you're gonna "destroy" his life? Wish kind yeye way of thinking is that? How would you feel if the guy you dumped is after your life? lol.  I know you're hurt, but pls Calm the french down. Easy on the guys ehn.

Do you mind telling me the "experience"?

kokoye:
@ reinedamse

why would you 'deal' with a guy who breaks up with you . . .did you sign a contract??
deep inside you, watever you do to him will NEVER make you happy.
Na wah o.
Low self-esteem all over.

coogar:
try it with me - i will make you regret the day you were born.

reinedamse:
Well, sometimes it's d guys fault.guys need to understand dat every woman has a fragile heart no matter how strong,independent or stubborn she is.well,i'm guilty of punishing my ex-boyfriends too .infact,it has become a principle for me,if u dump me, i deal with you. d last guy dat tried such with me lost all his certificates to me cos i stole them from his house in warri and brought them to lagos with me.it took a lot of begging from his friends and families before i agreed for him to come down to lagos to collect them(my initial plan was to burn them).it's not in my nature to be wicked,and i didn't just wake up and decide to be wicked,men taught me bitter lessons.To me, d word love doesn't even exist, Relationships have become a business venture with everyone seeking for d most profitable.i don't regret my actions,and i'll do it again and again,so guys BEWARE!! cos there are many angry gals like me out there.

coogar:
bring it!

hehehe. You ready? Please endeavor not to use Google.

-- Divide 0 by 8.  

-- Raise 10 to the power of 0.

-- 2^-4  + 4 ^3.

-- Differentiate 4y^2

-- A circle has how many line(s) of symmetry?

Simple enough. Pls do not consult Google.