₦airaland Forum

Gloriagee:
I can't bliv u said position, but i read it myself so I can bliv it. Ur list is too restrictive and FYI none of the things u mentioned guarantee a fulfilling marriage. For instance if the lady meets all ur above listed criteria but isn't a virgin cos she was sexually abused nko? Or was sexually active but since she gave her life to Christ as an 18 year old undergrad has been celibate for 9 years/ so she's still within ur preferred age bracket but is already disqualified.

I dare say, u already have set up an idol in ur heart ( Ezek 14) which makes me question if ur 'spirikoko ness' matches the advertised level of spirituality. Determine ur core values as the requirements u can't live without and compromise on the not so essentials. Also, it doesn't take humility to consider online advert for marriage. Otherwise, ppl on 2go and baddoo must be swimming in humility.

Gloriagee, you have made good observations. I have come a long way and trust me.... I have good reasons for my preference and I judge no one. My sensible argument has always been that 'no one should marry a woman because of any virtue that may not survive the wedding night'. As I said, that is my preference.

zed7:
Been in your shoes before. Even if you find her there is no guarantee of chemistry, love or even likeness. Spend your time looking for a compatible, God fearing and decent woman instead. She may not come in your dream package but life doesn't always work that way.
Or the alternative, take clay and mould her.

There is a lot to consider really, but I can't have them all outline. That is the essence of the friendship. There will definitely be a bit of moulding on both sides but there should not be need for pulling apart the frame. The features I have mentioned above are some of the frames. Like I said, I am quite flexible on some of the physical features.

@ Rebella, good question, I am just an average guy ... of course with a good bald head and a very good heart ( I hope that counts for something). As you can see, I am not asking for anything above average here.

@Giddyperson: Perhaps, you should look at my post more carefully, I highlighted the basics that I feel very strong about and other desirable features. It doesn't look rigid to me and if it does, trust me, we all have our preference and that is not a crime. Besides, stating features of people I think I may be able to relate well with ( Background and values) does not amount to objectifying them.
@Jahbless me: I posted this on here because the internet/social media is becoming the major meeting point, we spend more time online than we do in church, at home or anywhere else.

I am seriously tempted to outline my preferences on here, see if there is anyone who meets or almost meets them and then explore a friendship targeted at a purposeful relationship.

Ok.. I am just going to do that...( God works in mysterious ways). I am looking for a lady with the following attributes:

[b]Christian: ( Born Again preferably CAC/RCCG) Family Background) It will be nice if the parents are well involved in Ministry
Educated: At least first degree with good academic records ( evidence of a budding career or business ( business is preferred)
Personality: Mild Introversion ( I am an extrovert, can talk for Africa, life of the party, multiple chain of friends, big baby etc)
Ministry: Must be involved in Ministry work ( it will be good if she is good with children and old people, I love these people)
Spirituality: She must be someone who understands the significance of ceaseless praying and the fact that we are all that we are by the grace of God ( so she will be humble and be able to exude grace and compassion). For instance, it takes humility and wisdom to even consider this online advert.
Life's ambition: She must be someone who really wants to make heaven and whose life's ambitions are subject to their alignment with that goal.
Ethnic: I am sorry, but I really will prefer a Yoruba Lady ( preferably an Ijesha ( or any other town in OSUN, Oyo or Ekiti)
Age: 24-27[/b]
Physique: Slim with nothing particularly conspicuous
Complexion : Dark ( chocolate)
Eyes: Big or moderate eyeballs with heavy eyelids ( the physical attributes are desirable but not compulsory)
Height: I am 5:8, so that is the maximum height.
Interests (movies, road trips, hosting guests, cooking and fashion)
Dressing: I need it to be obvious from your dressing that you are a Christian ( No rainbow colours on the face, no heavy jewelries and definitely no skimpy dresses outside of the house)
I am sorry, you will also need to still be a VIRGIN. I respect every woman regardless of their sexual history but for this position, a Virgin will be more appropriate.
Location: Preferably Lagos but if you have access to the social media ( location should not be an immediate barrier).

MY CREDENTIALS

I am a christian, male, professional in his early 30s. The qualities I want in my woman ( as stated above) sufficiently defines who I am. If you are interested PM me and you will be free to conduct your due diligence.
[b][/b]

@ Op, you and I should probably start the Single Men's fellowship on Nairaland.

I am seriously tempted to outline my preferences on here, see if there is anyone who meets or almost meets them and then explore a friendship targeted at a purposeful relationship.

Ok.. I am just going to do that...( God works in mysterious ways)

[b]Christian: ( Born Again preferably CAC/RCCG) Family Background) It will be nice if the parents are well involved in Ministry
Educated: At least first degree with good academic records ( evidence of a budding career or business ( business is preferred)
Personality: Mild Introversion ( I am an extrovert, can talk for Africa, life of the party, multiple chain of friends, big baby etc)
Ministry: Must be involved in Ministry work ( it will be good if she is good with children and old people, I love these people)
Spirituality: She must be someone who understands the significance of ceaseless praying and the fact that we are all that we are by the grace of God ( so she will be humble and be able to exude grace and compassion). For instance, it takes humility and wisdom to even consider this only advert.
Life's ambition: She must be someone who really wants to make heaven and whose life's ambitions are subject to their alignment with that goal.
Ethnic: I am sorry, but I really will prefer a Yoruba Lady ( preferably an Ijesha ( or any other town in OSUN, Oyo or Ekiti)
Age: 24-27[/b]
Physique: Slim with nothing particularly conspicuous
Complexion : Dark ( chocolate)
Eyes: Big or moderate eyeballs with heavy eyelids ( the physical attributes are desirable but not compulsory)
Height: I am 5:8, so that is the maximum height.
Interests (movies, road trips, hosting guests, cooking and fashion)
Dressing: I need it to be obvious from your dressing that you are a Christian ( No rainbow colours on the face, no heavy jewelries and definitely no skimpy dresses outside of the house)
I am sorry, you will also need to still be a VIRGIN. I respect every woman regardless of their sexual history but for this position, a Virgin will be more appropriate.
Location: Preferably Lagos but if you have access to the social media ( location should not be an immediate barrier).

MY CREDENTIALS

I am a christian, male, professional in his early 30s. The qualities I want in my woman ( as stated above) sufficiently defines who I am. If you are interested PM me and you will be free to conduct your due diligence.

I have to confess most of these prophecies have already come to pass. I wonder why no one has acknowledged that up till now.

Written words are powerful and priceless, I am reading this over two years since the last post and it is still so true. Can we have more of this please. What will you tell your brother to look out for, ladies?

Thanks again Nobody/Aluta continua for this really wise post and of course, Imma keep your invitation, the wedding is almost here.

Ill tell my brother to make sure he looks beyond the hips and a,,ss of a woman.look at her internally,what are the beautiful qualities that you want to enjoy about her for a long time.e.g is she patient,does she accept criticisms in good faith,is she saucy and mouthy,is she a good cook,does she know how to take care of kids,can you trust her because a womans behaviours during courtship will still be there in marriage,the only difference is it will either get better or worse because after all said and done the sexy hips,breast and ass will loose its beauty after years of having kids but the internal beauty will still be there and that is what will make you still be loving her even is she has a drop dead breast and a sexually unappealing body again.the summary of my tale is look more about the woman inside and ensure she is not someone who will use all your money and childrens school fees on brazillian hair,latest gorge or sample lace






hope you get my drift,goodluck 8-)






meanwhile make sure you invite me to your wedding after you've seen the girl you can live with under the same roof without reigning curses at each other every day 8-)

Hello all, please is there anyway we can get this topic back to the front page, I just went through it again and they are insights that shouldn't be buried. Lets have more contribution from the married men. Let us benefit from your wealth of experience.

Talking about ties to Nigeria, I am a lawyer, I have been working continuously for close to 6 years, they did not even border to check my papers. I agree with the fact that decision could depend on each VO but there are guidelines to be followed and going by the line of questioning, she was concerned about my ties to the US, single status and lack of travel history because those were the areas she directed her questions into. Funny enough she seemed quite sympathetic that I would not be able to visit my ailing father. My mum felt hurt by the fact that they did not respect the old man's wish to be visited by his son ( all because it is America).... we were planning to get him to go out more, go to parks, cinema and just get him to be more physically active. She almost cursed her ( that her children will have the same difficulty).

My opinion is that what will be will be and in so far as one's intention is true, things will eventually work out. The good part is that I get to safe my money.. probably will be going to UAE later in the year.

anfanio:
Lack of information, with your parents in the US you don't need a visitor visa, either of them can file for you and by your next vacation you should be ready to go, except if your parents are not in 'status'.

Thanks everyone for your kind words... I am not interested in overstaying in the US, I am doing alright here by the grace of God. @ Anfanio. I think you are the one that may be lacking information here, although my parents are in status... its definitely going to take way more than five years if I request that they file for me. I am over 21 and definitely not going to remain single while the waiting last so that I will be given a VISA to the U.S. I will appreciate a reliable reference if you are still convinced you know more than I do. Thanks for your kind words again.

Hello House, Ithought this might help someone. I just got denied

VO:Good morning
me: Good morning ma'am (passed my passport)
VO: Where in the United States are you going?
Me: Newyork
VO: Why are you going to Newyork ( Wasn't really paying attention)
Me: Visiting my sister's family moreover my Dad has requested to see me..he is just recovered from an ailment ( this is the truth indicated on IV)
VO: Have you traveled out of Nigeria before
Me: No, I have not had to travel out
VO: Are you married?
Me: Still single
VO: Who is sponsoring you
Me: I am sponsoring myself
VO: How much do you earn
Me: 220k
VO: Do you have any other relative in the US
Me: My mum lives in the US too.
VO: Where in the US?
Me: Newyork
VO: (Types a bit more and hands me the dreaded blue paper) I am sorry you have not met the requirement for the grant of a tourist visa.
Me: With the hard face I have kept all along... just took the papers and moved out of the room..

I do not really want to start guessing what went wrong because she appeared quite sympathetic for turning me down... but that is just my brief observation...Hints on what to do differently if I want to try again during my next vacation is welcome

is this car still available?

a bald guy in his early 30s here. OP: Please own it and ( tell your 'friend' to own it) rock it. I only started shaving every week recently and most guys who are not bald do the same. I have found that women get put off my men whose confidence is built on good looks. Women want more from men than mere good looks, if you are talented, hard working, charming, trendy, intelligent and kind, it will take you really far with woman and in life. I thought I was not good looking even when the hairlines had not started receding ( I have a really better than average look) so I had learnt to build my confidence on my talents as well as good communication and human relations skills. Its worked for me thus far.

It might please you to note that the opinion of the female contributors on this thread represent the general perspective of women on this point.

Good thread... please keep the comments coming... Can I marry me? that is a really thoughtful question...

@Op, I can relate with your frustration but really what is the rush?.. why would you allow anyone who doesn't have much to loose if you end up in a bad marriage rush you into one. God is interested in you fulfilling your destiny and I know He knows all about your worries... Do your part.. read His word, I have found that for those God really care about, they are always forbidden to marry from among the heathen or the strangers. Choose within your faith and fold, choose based on enduring values. Don't choose in a hurry... you know how easy it is to make mistakes when something is hastily done. I think it is not healthy to rigidly insist that one must marry at a particular age.. it is ok to have such wishes but it should not be absolute. I have a feeling you are almost there, hence the frustration.

Do you know that going to school is not biblical? where is it specifically stated that you should go to school and earn a degree in microbiology or industrial chemistry? It is a foreign culture, not even ours.

I don't know why people always find a way of condemning everything all in the name of it is not specifically recommended in the bible. Wedding rings serve the purpose of identifying the married ones. It is sensible and reasonable.

To all: Can you please ignore my reference to the fact that the bible does not seem to address the possibility of a woman divorcing her husband, it was an aside, and I really just wanted someone to tell me if there was any literal provision in the bible for that. Not to worry again, I have found the answer in the bible and that settles it for me.

Nashville: Matthew 5: 32 Read it very well:

But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

It is interesting that my interpretation of the bible is 'Nigerian', but this bible verse is written in English and fortunately is is very clear, any man that marries a divorced woman commits adultery.. so no man who does not want to commit adultery should be married to the divorced. This bible verse cannot be interpreted to mean that a woman who divorces her husband for sexual immorality can then proceed to marry another man. I have found other scriptural position on this point and for this who are interested in the truth, the bible remains our final authority. Pls see the following scriptures:

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 - 10 And unto the married I command, [yet] not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from [her] husband:

11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband: and let not the husband put away [his] wife.

1 Corinthians 7:15 - But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such [cases]: but God hath called us to peace.

Luke 16:18 - Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from [her] husband committeth adultery.

1 John 2:3-4 - And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. (Read More...)

Matthew 5:32 - But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Matthew 19:6 - Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Matthew 19:9 - And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Romans 7:2 - For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to [her] husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of [her] husband.

Mark 10:12 - And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Matthew 19:8 - He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

Malachi 2:16 - For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for [one] covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage [is] honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Matthew 5:31-32 - It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: (Read More...)

1 Corinthians 7:11 - But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband: and let not the husband put away [his] wife.

Mark 10:11 - And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.

1 Peter 3:1 - Likewise, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

Malachi 2:14-16 - Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet [is] she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. (Read More...)

Romans 7:3 - So then if, while [her] husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

I know this is a sensitive matter so I will rather not dwell any further on it, but pls, as much as it is within our power ( God helping us) let us strive to keep our home. Look out for what the devil is trying to achieve in any situation and make sure you do not play into his hand.

Adultery is a sin, sin is a weakness of the flesh.

Nashville: This is what happens when people rely on Pastors to read and interprete the Bible for them. If you read your bible very well, you will know that if you divorce your spouse on the basis of adultery, you are free to remarry. And when you remarry you are not bound to your former spouse, so loving making continues. First of all, both men and women cheat at the same rate, if men cheat with women, then for every man cheating there is also a woman cheating. Women just tend to be more discrete.

Back to the topic, a reason married men cheat and sometime don't hide it is that people like you think the right thing to do is to pray him out of it. You make me laugh. That is why I love oyinbo women, most will give the guy a second chance but after that the marriage is over. And you talk about legacy. Don't you think the legacy you are giving your daughters is that it is ok for their boyfriends to cheat on them? So when they start dating and the boyfriend is cheating, its not going to be a big deal, because they will start praying to keep boyfriend just like mummy did. I believe lots of ladies with this mindset were runs-girls and actually cheated with married men while single and nemesis is just catching up with them. That is why you see married women attacking the girl their husbands cheat with. Lots of them did the same thing when they were single hence trying to prevent the girl from doing it to them.

@Nashville: Since apparently you read your Bible very well, can you please direct me to the verse of the Bible that supports the bolded. I know it is fast becoming 'acceptable' now because some pastors are doing it but really my bible tells me that he who is intimate with the one who is divorced has committed adultery. I know this is one point people don't like admitting for obvious reasons.

I agree with your point on the fact that when men get away with cheating it kinda encourages other men to continue, but trust me, men do not get away with cheating,you cannot put a hot coal on your bosom and not be burnt. Anyways, a man that will cheat will cheat regardless of the consequences( there are men still sleeping around without protection in spite of the high risk of contact STDs).

I still maintain that cutting off the head is not the cure for an headache. I hope by the time the children who have been trained to divorce a cheating husband after a 'second chance' are on their fifth husbands (like the Samaritan woman) they will suddenly discover that men are not good for them and that they are better off with women or altogether on their own.

Spouses should cultivate the habit of praying for each other,particularly with respect to their weaknesses, who doesn't have one?. Perseverance must permeate every aspect of the marriage relationship. The women who grew old in marriage didn't do so because they got married to 'Nashvilles' ( Immunized- against-cheating men) of this world, they did because divorce is not a norm in our society ( unlike the Oyinbos), so they persevered and they are the better for it.

@ Madam Debrief08: Thanks for taking time out to respond:

debrief08: Exodus 20. 14 “You shall not commit adultery.
Leviticus 20. 10:
Matt 5:7 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[e] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Divorce

31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’[f] 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.,
when a man or woman commits adultery its a sin, in the Leviticus self it was even prescribed that an adulterous man be put to death, Jesus was more lenient and said divorce. That is the bibilical stand on adultery, God doesn't pet it or tolerate it.
Now what a wife decides to do with an adulterous husband is her choice, but a Pastor standing on the Altar and preaching things outside the Bible is unacceptable.

I can't tell a couple how to handle their marriage, but I won't accept a situation where the wife or husband will have to accept responsibilty for the willful act of the other and be the one looking for solutions.
A spouse who cheats on you doesn't respect you or God, how you handle it is your choice, but the Bible is crystal clear on it, don't use the bible wrongly to justify wrong doing.

I am sure you will still cast aspersion on the church or a Pastor should your 'biblical' message of divorce based on adultery be preached on the altar. Though it appears the Old testament and indeed Jesus was talking strictly about a man putting his wife away and not the other way round. Indeed, there is no precedent laid in the bible or any biblical provision about a woman divorcing her husband ( pls I would be glad to know the verse). In any case the Bible says God hates divorce. For the few people who are mindful of the entire biblical injunctions rather than few convenient ones, it is really add to even consider divorce, moreover, you know what the Bible says about the options open to such person after divorce ( any further sexual relationship with another man is adultery)

Adultery is a sin against God, one's spouse and his own body and it is a sin that reflects the unregenerate state of mind of whoever is involved in it, if you think it is not too much for a woman to pray for her husband's salvation, then it is not too much to advice her to pray for his deliverance from the spirit of adultery unless she wants to do what God hates, divorce.

Adultery is a sad reality in Nigeria yet I don't see every woman divorcing their husbands because of it. You have no control over whether or not your husband commits adultery or not. If he does and you are not considering the divorce option, the best you can do is to pray for him , do your part to keep the home until he regains his sanity and make sure he uses protection in the meantime ( you have that right, at least). It is a difficult situation and the church has a duty to encourage you to pray, join you in prayers and inspire you to make your marriage work. I maintain that within the context described by the OP, the pastor said nothing wrong.

On whether same applies to when women commit adultery, I had say YES. God hates divorce! If you decide to separate from your spouse for good, then kiss love making goodbye and God is the happier for it, but if you are going to start thinking about that at some point while your enstranged spouse is still alive, you had better just stay put and ask God to help you save the soul of your man.

Seriously, I believe at least 8 out of every 10 married men have cheated at one point or the other in the course of their marriage and if in every case the women choose to take your advice then we should be having 80% divorce rate right now.

May God help us men to overcome the flesh, the plan of the devil is to destabilize the home and destroy the family system, we will be playing right into his hand by being unforgiving and drastic towards a spouse who committed adultery and he or she is deeply remorseful and willing to change.

hunterfit: I am a bit surprised by the comments on here. I noticed the OP attempted to explain the context in which the sermon was preached and I think it is reasonable enough. He advised the lady in question to be patient and prayerful but the lady took matters into her hand and ended up in jail, is a cheating man worth all that trouble? If you do not accept cheating as a weakness on the part of a man, if you do not pray for your cheating husband as advised, so how do you intend to deal with a cheating husband without destroying your home? Divorce him? Fight him? Go and pour acid on the alleged girlfriend? The funny thing is , this is how some women put up with stuffs in their own home in order to keep it and advise others otherwise. Cheating is wrong, but when you are married to a cheating husband, you are going to need more than fighting and staying in shape to keep the man and your home. It is better to treat the man like the sick person that he is and take him to God in prayers while you calmly and wisely protect yourself from the stings of his malady and look for a remedy. Fighting and confrontations can't do it, trust me, when a man who is fully aware of consequences of his action goes ahead to do it to his detriment, that is more than selfishness, it has got to be some kinda demonic possession, cheating destroys the man too, he loves his children and he does want to make his marriage work.

debrief08: Lol, a grown man supposed head of a househelp makes a decision to break his vows somehow demons are to be blamed and its up to his wife to "fix it" by praying, fasting and kneeling down.

Now its been preached as a church sermon dear Lord, hurry and come oh

Madam Debrief08, so what should the wife of a cheating husband do? What kind of sermon should Pastors preach to the wife of a cheating husband? Pastors have a lot of such issues to deal with everyday so your advice based on the word of God will be much appreciated.

We all know about the changing times, and in a way, I believe for some of us men, or even most, our mothers have done quite a good job of ensuring that we can cook well, along with that also came the training that we are not to leave the home chores to our sisters ( and expectedly, wife, in the future. My problem with a Lady that was not taught how to cook a decent meal is that, she probably missed out on other basic home trainings too, there is no way you can be raised to clean the house daily and not be taught out to keep things tidy in the kitchen and other kitchen related crafts like cooking, there is no way your parents can have the time to teach you to respect elders, treat your visitors well and take care of younger ones without teaching you a bit about how to prepare meals. Most of the home training for a girl-child will take place in the kitchen, while she is observing mum cooking or in the mum's room if she happens to have one to herself. My reasonable conclusion is that a girl that never got to learn how to cook probably missed out on the other related aspects
of home training. May be we can teach her how to cook what about other implicit deficiencies?

We all know about the changing times, and in a way, I believe for some of us men, or even most, our mothers have done quite a good job of ensuring that we can cook well, along with that also came the training that we are not to leave the home chores to our sisters ( and expectedly, wife, in the future. My problem with a Lady that was not taught how to cook a decent meal is that, she probably missed out on other basic home trainings too, there is no way you can be raised to clean the house daily and not be taught out to keep things tidy in the kitchen and other kitchen related crafts like cooking, there is no way your parents can have the time to teach you to respect elders, treat your visitors well and take care of younger ones without teaching you a bit about how to prepare meals. Most of the home training for a girl-child will take place in the kitchen, while she is observing mum cooking or in the mum's room if she happens to have one to herself. My reasonable conclusion is that a girl that never got to learn how to cook probably missed out on the other related aspects
of home training. May be we can teach her how to cook what about other implicit deficiencies?

that is another deep insight...it takes work! Thanks Mr. LewsTherin and may God continue to bless your home in Jesus name

?

mgbeketoto: Not applicable. . .
I don't come from a family of MEDDLERS OR MGBEKE-ALATIKA-VILLAGERS!. . .
If you tryaaaaaaaaaaaaaam. . . .
YOU GO REGRET BOTH LIFE AND DEATH COMBINED. . .guaranteed!

SHEGEEEEEEY!!!

Ooooooooooooops! Time for round 2. . .Back to my sweeeeeeeet work jare!

?
??

my bad.. thanks Miss Shewa.

Thanks Chilisauce, I totally get you. The idea is not to be guided by what they saw in their respective women, it is more about the thought process and more particularly the factors one should consider. Trust me, this is not just me learning here but hundreds or more of other young men who might stumble on this and garner some wisdom from the contributions of the married men here and your very wise counsel too. I just want to learn and there is no better way to learn than from people who have been through that phase of trying to make up their mind about who to marry. Thanks and at Newpaparazzi, yea, it is funny but true. Mrs. Chilisauce love us bald and cute so it was the first thing she looked out for.

dayokanu: She is very smart and always seeking for knowledge. Cos I always look out for smart people.

She is very resourceful. If you tell her about any problem she would have an intelligent opinion on how to resolve it.

She is a conservative spender , Unlike some women who buy frivolous things at the mall.

She has weathered a lot of storms in her life that many men might even have given up on life.


[b]Look out for[/

Avoid shine shine women who are made of Indian weave and pancake alone but empty

Avoid drama queens cos it might lead to abuse and groupies also women who have too many friends

Avoid women who cant manage their finances regardless of what they make. They would never be satisfied

I agree butterfly in tummy love is not enough. Be reasonable when in love

This is simply priceless... especially the drama queens and groupies. Thanks Mr. Dayokanu

Pataki: 1. Highly and well educated.

2. Good simple dressing. Even when she buys a new cloth, she shows it to me to find out if I like it.

3. She withstood all the theatrics her parents threw at her when she at first told them about me.

4. Her passion to know more about God also weighed in.

5. Very respectful of my opinion and supportive to my career as well.

6. Even when I deliberately try to annoy her, she keeps quiet and walks away.....and later comes to discuss it out with me.

Look out for......

1. A woman who always wants to have her ways.

2. A woman thinks marriage is all about se-x.

3. A woman who focuses too much attention on just herself and always has a point to make anytime issues spring up.

4. A woman who even jokingly hits you when you are both relaxed and you happen to tease her. Such a woman has deep anger issues and will actually manifest when you happen to make her extremely angry/mad or jealous.

5. A woman who carries too much friends around her (either men or women friends).

Thanks Mr. Pataki

Thanks Aluta and thanks so much Mrs. Kulyie. Will definitely remember to send you an invite when I finally find her.

Thanks for the insight Alutacontinua. Kinda new to posting here. Just want to know the kind of women you (as a woman) would advise your brother not to marry if your opinion count. For instance, I would advise my sister against getting serious with a guy that would always insist she comes to meet him in the restaurant at the end of the street when there is no rule in our house that forbids her male friends from visiting ( that kinda guy is up to know good.My opinion). So help me out here Alutacontinua

Hakunajay: thanks for the insight

@ Chillisauce, why are you so 'obsessed' with male patterned baldness? Would your brother consider marrying a man whether bald or otherwise? Take a deep breath and read the question again ma'am, I know you can help with a good response @ Libertyfather: The question was not directed at you in the first place, unless you are a woman posing as a man, in which case, you will still lack the insight required to answer the question anyway ( No disrespect intended). There is a reason I didnt ask google either. If you are not married, I advise you step aside and let the sisters school us on making the right choice.