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 Romance / Re: Will I Ever Feel The Warm Side Of A Woman. ?? by baldman: 12:51pm On Jun 26, 2020 |
I have been exactly where you are right now. Be careful the choices you make at this point, the warmth of a woman's body and even honey pot are in your future ( I am praying to keep to just your wife). You will have a lot of it, so much that you will forget the days of your longings and celibacy. The gap between now and this future is when your destiny and destination may be messed up, that is why I am imploring you to please hold the forth, be careful the choices you make. Do not patronize prostitute, do not pursue relationships for sex sake, do not abuse underage, do not indulge in pornography, be careful with masturbation as well, rather keep yourself busy with things that will put your destiny on the right track. Sex can be too distracting if one get expose to it too early in life. Please make the most of your celibacy, chase things that will advance your life. You are destined to be with a woman ultimately, I pray you end up with the right woman in Jesus name ( Amen) 26 Likes 2 Shares |
| Family / Re: Please This Is Strictly For MARRIED MEN ONLY by baldman: 7:13pm On Jun 16, 2020 |
I find a previous post that answers your second question. Find below: 1. Do not marry any girl who does not regard you as a bestie or maintains an opposite sex as a bestie even after meeting you. If you find that you are not able to overthrow her previous besties( not by force but by charm, conscious show of affection and commitment), work towards establishing friendship first. Under normal circumstances, the besties should gradually fade away as your friendship deepens. You know you have won when you are the one that has to remind her to check up on her friends or they have to befriend you to maintain her attention. 2. Do not marry a lady that is manipulative. She cried to manipulate him, she introduced the boyfriend in order to manipulate both of them. She got the Mum involved to manipulate him. 3. Do not marry someone that can lie convincingly over any matter whether having to do with infidelity or not. Liars should be avoided unless you want to be a life-long investigative journalist. Lying should be a deal breaker. If you discover one lie, you bet there are a thousand others still hidden. 4. Watch the family you want to marry into, speak to those who are married to their children, ask questions around their neighborhood or community. If they do not have values that aligns with yours, do not marry their daughter. Every girl you marry comes with a baggage - her family. Choose your wife having regard to the quality of her baggage. They will determine if you marriage will work or not. If a man report such a thing to some mothers, the mother will be too ashamed to call the boyfriend. 5. If you got her to sleep with you cheaply, if she does not think sex is something special that should be reserved, be careful about going on with her. If all of her exes got her just because they were dating, and you got her too because you guys are dating (no indication of something serious) be careful. I feel when young well raised men experience sex before marriage, they tend to bond with the partner to soon, and the judgment gets clouded. I will say, follow the word of God, but if you can't I will say, keep sex off the table until you are sure you know this person well enough to make a clear headed decision, and you are committed to them. 6. Always look out for loyalty and compassion in any girl you want to be with. The urge to misbehave will be there for every couple, both male and female, but people who have sense of loyalty will be hard to be swayed, and those who will just remember there partner and think, he does not deserve to be treated like this, may likely try to resist tempting situation. 7. Never marry a girl that does not respect the sanctity of marriage. Any girl that is quick to suggest divorce, any girl that thinks it is ok to date several men at a time, any girl that will selfishly date a married man should be a No-No. 2 Likes |
| Family / Re: Please This Is Strictly For MARRIED MEN ONLY by baldman: 7:11pm On Jun 16, 2020 |
LewsTherin: Dear LewsTherin, I am happy to respond to your questions. On what informed my decision to choose the lady I married: She 'damaged' me, it was important to me that my partner be truthful, and she was just truthful and real with me ( most girls routinely and 'harmlessly' lie, they also try to pretend in other to impress) , she genuinely loved me ( you know she loves you if you find yourself having much influence over her and she is happy to accept your leadership), I was super attracted to her, I always thought, I have got to hit this fine ass (, we waited to be married, it was so hard,Got helped us and I have been hitting it happily since then) , our Christian values align ( we prayed together and we had records of answered prayers), she complement each other a lot ( personality-wise and competence-wise), it seems more like I was made to do what she can't do and she is well able to do those things I struggle with, so together, we can do most things. She wants a marriage that we last till death do us part, and that is what I wanted too. We have situations that made our union risky yet, she was willing to go through life with me against those odds. You know you have found your wife when the thought of losing her makes your stomach turn, and you think she is so important you are concerned she should not get into the wrong hands ( that is when you find yourself playing the big brother) . There are some other important considerations but I have limited time so I will suggest you go into my profile and read some advice I gave recently. I will see if I can share the link here, as well. I hope you find your right wing man, I pray you do.[ |
| Family / Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by baldman: 6:48pm On Jun 16, 2020 |
Hello Poster, you have had some really good advice here, particularly those that said you should be yourself and involve your family members too. I know how difficult it can be finding the right partner even if you are living in Nigeria. I think it is important that you have sufficient time to interact and experience life together with the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, and phone interactions is not likely to give you that much opportunity. Before I lay out options I think you may explore, I want to inform you that it takes the grace of God to find the right woman, you need God more than ever before, and He is ever willing to help if you will renew your faith in Him as you embark on this ultimate search. Pray, Study the world of God and pay careful attention to your dreams and happenings around you. If you can pray and work hard to get your degrees, get a visa and settle down in the west, you should do even more at this junction as everything you have worked hard for can only be truly enjoyed if you have the right partner. This is not to scare you, but trust me, the best of your calculations may not produce the answers you seek. I appreciate your wanting a much younger woman, but you might miss the right one if you insist on a particular age. Keep an open mind. Now to the options - If there is any university in your state or province, you may want to make friends among the Nigerians attending the school. There are good girls who worked hard to gain admission to study abroad, and you can be their good friend 'distraction' and play the 'Big broda'. - Can you think of any of your family's friends when growing up that you admired for integrity, godliness or any other qualities you consider admirable ( folks from the church or mosque, community or your parents' colleagues), do any of them have a particular daughter you like or that you can confidently recommend for your friend? That is your girl. Start a conversation with her and see if you guys will clique. The good thing about this kind of girl is that you have had the opportunity of assessing her when she was not paying attention. You can then start talking to her and see if she checks out. - Join a Nigerian church and get active, get particularly close to the Pastor's wife. Pastors' wives tend to know about all the girls in the church, and if she takes you as a younger brother, she might be able to point you in the right direction. If you don't want to play church, look for a Nigerian Egbon that appears to be the rallying point for Nigerians in your city, and get close to them. You can meet girls through them. - Start a Nigerian community platform in your city for people that shares your interest ( yes, you can and it will pay off big time) and invest yourself in it. This way, you increase your cycle of friends and you may end up being the one to welcome new arrivals from Nigeria to your city i.e. you become the rallying point and you will have the opportunity to help people and find a mate as well. I think coming back to Nigeria to look for a wife will open you up to deceptions and the girls too are likely tobe drawn to you for the wrong reasons. I pray the Lord will help you in Jesus name ( Amen) 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Romance / Re: I Am In Love With Her, But Not Sexually Attracted To Her. by baldman: 11:01am On May 08, 2020 |
Just gently let her go please. You do not really love this girl ( love is a major aphrosidaic), you love your self, you like her face and she has got a good personality so you realize she is a good thing to have. However, she is obviously not good enough for you, and I am not blaming you, attraction is key; you should not have to take vega to make love ( I wish you can repent from fornication, it complicates things, and in cases like this, it may rule your judgment). There are guys out there who will consider her to be perfect the way she is, some are already chasing her, some of them are reading this and having a hard-on already just by reading your description. They deserve her more than you do, and you deserve a voluptuous who will keep you wanting more and more. So do right by our beauty queen, nicely let her go. Find an excuse that will not deal a blow on her self esteem and leave. 10 Likes |
| Family / Re: Please This Is Strictly For MARRIED MEN ONLY by baldman: 3:10pm On May 04, 2020 |
Yes, I have been happily married for three years now, and with two kids. Thank you for checking. 5 Likes |
| Romance / Re: My Fiancé Mother Swear For Me After I Kicked Her Daughter Out Of My Life. by baldman: 12:37pm On Apr 29, 2020 |
Deathisfree: Dear OP, Please keep moving on, and I advice you move on really fast. You should thank God that you got to know about her promiscuity early enough. You should never look past any act of cheating in a committed relationship ( meaning a relationship where both of you have professed love for one another, and are both looking for something that will be long term) . It is a huge red flag, and any kind of feeling that will make one want to continue with someone who has cheated is not a healthy one. I dare say it comes from the confusion caused by the unhealthy bonding which sex before marriage brings about ( Sorry, I digressed). The reason why cheating should not be condoned is that a successful marriage is built on trust. It is hard to trust someone who has once betrayed one's trust. You do not want to spend your whole life monitoring your wife. Moreover, cheaters are bound to lie, and there is nothing worse than marrying an irredeemable liar ( she cried even though she knew it was a lie). Again, you don't want to spend the rest of your life doing fact check every time you wife tells you something. It is even more terrible if you marry into a family where they have low moral standard. The girl's mother's reaction shows that cheating is acceptable in their world. Would she beg her son to marry such a girl? She is also highly manipulative ( the girl probably got that from her mum) the begging and cursing are way of trying to manipulate you. Her prayers and curses has no weight, just delete her number and her daughters and move on. There are seven lessons that I think you should learn from this, and I will outline them for other single guys to note as well. 1. Do not marry any girl who does not regard you as a bestie or maintains an opposite sex as a bestie even after meeting you. If you find that you are not able to overthrow her previous besties( not by force but by charm, conscious show of affection and commitment), work towards establishing friendship first. Under normal circumstances, the besties should gradually fade away as your friendship deepens. You know you have won when you are the one that has to remind her to check up on her friends or they have to befriend you to maintain her attention. 2. Do not marry a lady that is manipulative. She cried to manipulate him, she introduced the boyfriend in order to manipulate both of them. She got the Mum involved to manipulate him. 3. Do not marry someone that can lie convincingly over any matter whether having to do with infidelity or not. Liars should be avoided unless you want to be a life-long investigative journalist. Lying should be a deal breaker. If you discover one lie, you bet there are a thousand others still hidden. 4. Watch the family you want to marry into, speak to those who are married to their children, ask questions around their neighborhood or community. If they do not have values that aligns with yours, do not marry their daughter. Every girl you marry comes with a baggage - her family. Choose your wife having regard to the quality of her baggage. They will determine if you marriage will work or not. If a man report such a thing to some mothers, the mother will be too ashamed to call the boyfriend. 5. If you got her to sleep with you cheaply, if she does not think sex is something special that should be reserved, be careful about going on with her. If all of her exes got her just because they were dating, and you got her too because you guys are dating (no indication of something serious) be careful. I feel when young well raised men experience sex before marriage, they tend to bond with the partner to soon, and the judgment gets clouded. I will say, follow the word of God, but if you can't I will say, keep sex off the table until you are sure you know this person well enough to make a clear headed decision, and you are committed to them. 6. Always look out for loyalty and compassion in any girl you want to be with. The urge to misbehave will be there for every couple, both male and female, but people who have sense of loyalty will be hard to be swayed, and those who will just remember there partner and think, he does not deserve to be treated like this, may likely try to resist tempting situation. 7. Never marry a girl that does not respect the sanctity of marriage. Any girl that is quick to suggest divorce, any girl that thinks it is ok to date several men at a time, any girl that will selfishly date a married man should be a No-No. 25 Likes 6 Shares |
| Family / Re: My Story; A Troubled Married Man by baldman: 3:03pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
Sorry about the reference to you shouting at your wife in the presence of the maid. I think that came from the general impression, rather than anything you wrote in your post, I apologize for that. What you call salt and Maggi usually comes with the territory of your disclosed situation. I respect your maturity and willingness to make it right, and that is why I took so much time to type my opinion and this response. I hope you will be able to get past my' excesses' and deal with the relevant issues. Again my apologies if I said anything unnecessarily offensive. In summary, please do right by your woman, she is not perfect, but your love, your understanding, loyalty, faithfulness, commitment to the union will go a long way in moulding her to the woman you desire or something pretty close to it. Be the man you want your beloved daughter to marry.
3 Likes |
| Family / Re: My Story; A Troubled Married Man by baldman: 5:49pm On Apr 23, 2020 |
Dear Poster, It is not quite clear why you posted this, but I will take it that you just wanted to rant, and perhaps scout for comments to justify your gross irresponsibilities. Luckily for you, your post will attract some hard truths from the good men and women in this community, and I am hoping you will look beyond the abuses and just learn as people objectively tell you the truths about yourself which you have failed to acknowledge. As I already hinted, you are a grossly irresponsible married man, and in all honesty, I doubt if you could be a good father in the real sense of the word. You come home late, you drink, you chastise your wife in the presence of your house girl and children, you do everything to pull her down, and you indeed tried to convince us that this very real woman is some retard that you did the favour of marriage. I want you to imagine the scenario in your home as you painted in your post, and transform it into a Nollywood movie, how will you judge your own character? You are definitely not the victim, your wife is the victim. She married a man that is self-absorbed, and needed a mumu wife. You loved the fact that she deferred to you and you had to provide leadership in all aspects, but that became a burden in marriage and you became irritable because of it. The truth is that when you marry a woman, you marry the whole package that she represents, and your responsibility is to build her up, first with your mouth, then with your action, patient guardians, and also by providing support. I am sure having the house maid has helped greatly to ameliorate some of her incompetences. Your responsibility is to help her, build her up, and for God sake, be faithful to her. Your woman is a rarity, you have been jobless, irresponsible, unfaithful, unaccountable and your judgments have been poor, honestly, you made some money and you just paid up your debt and start accruing afresh, what happened to using some or all of that money to start something? Most of your wife's behaviours are in reaction to your unfaithfulness and illicit affairs. It is your wife that we should be begging not to dissolve you, that woman will do well without you and the risk of STDS which you represent. You have been breaking her heart with all those chats that you think you are having for fun. Did you expect her to be falling in love with you, or be recovering from her alleged madness while you are doing those things? My words may be harsh but imagine your wife is your daughter and all you have said is coming from a son in law? I agree with you that it is likely that the kind of life you are leading may be responsible for your ill-luck and I want to implore you to retrace your step, move closer to God, love your wife as christ loves the church as implored by the bible, and begin to live a decent life. You also need to change your friends immediately; they can get girls and hotels for you, they can buy beer for you, they can give you some occasional bail out, but they cannot help with money for you to start something constructive, they are no good friends. If you continue the way you are leading your life, that 'useless' woman will one day realize that she can live without you. 61 Likes 7 Shares |
| Family / Re: A Question Strictly For Married Women by baldman: 6:06pm On Apr 07, 2020 |
I married because I knew I would have issues moving on if I didn't marry her, she kinda 'damaged' me with her plain honesty, realness, commitment to 'us', our friendship, besides she met all other requirements, as well. She has even turned out better in marriage, honestly bukatyne: |
| Family / Re: A Question Strictly For Married Women by baldman: 5:57pm On Apr 07, 2020 |
Oh yes it did. Exactly 3 years ago ( April  and we have two beautiful kids ( a boy and a girl) to show for it, to the glory of God. And yes, the thread was quite insightful. I had a lot of questions, concerns and all sort of worries, regarding making the right choice in marriage, but God showed up real good for me. The insights I got on here were quite apt bukatyne: 1 Like |
| Family / Re: Stay-at-home Order: Lagos Husbands Narrate Experiences by baldman: 12:42pm On Apr 07, 2020 |
duchaB: Dear Madam @Bukatyne, may I just apologize to you on behalf of the men who are attacking you for giving our bro some pointers about how to spice things up in bed, at this time when we seem to have more time to create memories in bed with our wives. You did no wrong Sister, these are either prude men or they are just not used to the idea of taking counsel from women (Of course I am assuming that you and the gentleman @Pdudd are decent people who have respect for marital boundaries). I know for sure that men are mostly clueless about what makes sex enjoyable for a woman, first, because they do not own a vagina or the body parts and brain of a woman, and secondly, because of ego, they just assume that they are the pro, after all, they have been having sex since they were 15 and they have four grown-up kids to show for it ( as if that counts), they won't even allow their wives give them pointers, how much more a stranger on the internet. I have taken time to post this because it is quite discouraging and rather immature to condemn any woman who is open enough to demonstrate knowledge or expertise when it comes to sex. I have enjoyed really useful sexual tips from my female colleagues at work and no we are not having sex and they are not interested in having sex with me, we are all decent happily engaged people who do not think sex is such a sacred topic that can not be discussed without someone being shamed for it. @ PDudd, please fire on, enjoy the wife of your youth the to fullest extent , take tips from wherever it is decently available ( including from the faceless internet woman, women know their body and mindset better than us) and make your wife cum over and over again. Also, have your wife take this quiz on mojoupgrade.com ( google it, it is not porn, at all) and discover those things that she might want you to do to her. Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled. Do whatever makes you happy bro 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Family / Re: Majority No Longer Seek Companionship In Marriage by baldman: 5:30pm On Jan 27, 2020 |
We4all: This companionship you are talking about cannot be the exlusive reason for marriage, a lot of single guys have friends with whom they enjoy no strings attached companionship, so are you saying they can then dispense with marriage altogether. Moreover, companionship is virtually inseparable from intimacy ( intimacy is not strictly sex but may include it) as far as marriage is concerned. Sex in marriage is not just what couples enjoy, it is kept in marriage to oil the wheels of companionship. It is a lubricant to reduce the damaging effects of frictions which arises as two different individuals come together as one. It is not just satisfaction of the flesh, it is establishing soulish connection. It is how a man and a woman bond. Also, some of the main reasons for marriage come to play at different stages in life. Initially, there is a lot of sex which leads to procreation and may be good quality companionship before the children start rolling in. As the couples grow older, sex may not be the priority, and procreation as a reason for marriage would have become, it is at this stage that companionship takes the centre stage. Please do not under play the effect of sex. I tell you it is not very easy to get angry at every mistake made by someone with whom you are having good quality sex on a regular basis. You cannot say this same of couples that are not having good quality sex regularly, every little mistake is blown out of proportion. |
| Family / Re: Singles Drop Your Fears About Marriage And Let The Married Ones Clear Your Doubt by baldman: 10:11am On Jan 27, 2020 |
Hamachi: Marry your friend, someone you are convinced you both share bond of true friendship. As for cheating, you only have control over your own actions and not that of your partner, so take actions that will help build intimacy in your marriage but if your spouse cheats, it is no fault of yours. The fear of your spouse cheating should not keep you out of marriage. 6 Likes |
| Romance / Re: I Dumped Her, But Feeling Its Not Right by baldman: 6:03pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
midnighter: |
| Romance / Re: I Dumped Her, But Feeling Its Not Right by baldman: 8:38pm On Dec 01, 2019 |
Hotwax, like I said, you seems to have trust issues and you will senseblies even where there is non. No one cam help you with that. Also, you seems to know everything about the female anatomy already and you can smell bullshit from a million miles. Stop feeling bad about the girl with loose vagina she does not 'deserve' a man like you. But before I sign off, while we may not have as much body count as you and Mr. Brownjay1, do a simple google search in relation to your experience with the lady, like ' had sex only once but very loose' and test your assumption against the search result. 7 Likes |
| Romance / Re: I Dumped Her, But Feeling Its Not Right by baldman: 7:57pm On Dec 01, 2019 |
MrBrownJay1:Ha! are you really serious about this? Is this some kind of joke? I know your name around here for a while now and honestly thought you were being sarcastic!!! Can you read your self again, 3 Likes |
| Romance / Re: I Dumped Her, But Feeling Its Not Right by baldman: 7:15pm On Dec 01, 2019 |
Dear Mrbrownj1, Are you married? 3 Likes |
| Romance / Re: I Dumped Her, But Feeling Its Not Right by baldman: 6:54pm On Dec 01, 2019 |
I am writing this in case this can be of help to those who have missed good girls because of lack of basic knowledge about female arousal. You mentioned that this girl is sexually inexperienced and the last time she got in a sexual situation was two years ago. She got down with you, your was Hot as hell, doing some thing she has not done for a while with a man she finds attractive, her Vjay got super excited and tented. According to you "When I was kissing her all over her body, she was shaking as if she. Was demon possessed and she was grabbing my dick rushin it inside her pssy." This above is the natural reaction of a girl that is super turned on whether she is a virgin or not. She was wet enough and her Vjay was well relax, and you judged her to be a liar just because her body functioned as it ought to? Moreover have you not realized that women's vjays come in sizes just as men's. You said you touch the wall of your ex sometimes. I bet those were days that she was not particularly aroused. It is the reason the bible advises that sex should be in marriage, anyone who opens herself to these inexperienced, selfabsorbed young men will be treated like a piece of rag and trashed. And you stand a good chance of missing the right woman if you continue to judge them based on how 'tight' they are down there. God is wise and His Word is perfect. If you go on engaging in sex before marriage you are bound to measure a woman's ability to become a good wife based on all the wrong qualities i.e. how tight she feels or your perception of her purity based on her virginity or inexperience. A woman is much more than her vjay and boobs. The women getting kicked out of marriage , do you think it has anything to do with the vjay or boobs. If you canmot trust her, it is not her problem, it is yours. She told you she has only heard sex more than once, you could not believe her because she was not tight enough, we dont even know if your junk is belo average. You know what? Get over this girl and go on virgin hunting, you are a good riddance because men who have trust issues are never good for marriage. 73 Likes 5 Shares |
| Travel / Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 6 by baldman: 1:30pm On Aug 23, 2019 |
The idea that people provide foreign address in other to claim cheaper bill is not correct and as the poster is trying to explain, they are different processes entirely. The forms you fill to process birth certificate is administered independently ( at least in my experience) and does not give any basis for you as a foreigner to be able to prove that you are resident in the US. The finance department will require that you provide a US Address so that the bills can be sent there and indeed a sort of Guarantor as they fully understand that we are non-resident. I insisted that I wanted to use my Nigerian Address for the birth certificate and I was told that it has to be a US Address as the birth certificate will not be dispatched to an address outside of the US. I hope the US embassy can conduct independent inquiries into this and verify the truth, unless they are just looking for any excuse to deny us. There is no hospital that will deal with you without you providing an address within state where bills will be sent to. It is this address that the finance department ( the billing people) work with, they do not have any thing to do with the birth certificate which is handled by social services department who merely acts as the handler of the forms as they have the duty to report births. OmoBendel24: 10 Likes 1 Share |
| Romance / Re: Having Difficulty In Deflowering My Virgin Wife by baldman: 12:23pm On Jul 26, 2019 |
Dear Poster, Congratulations on your wedding. I wish you a happy married life. You have raised two issues and I intend, God helping me, to try and address both. You said you are having 'difficult in really entering her' (This suggest that you have some degree of penetration, it just not all the way in yet) as you hit 'a wall which hinders penetration' and as a result of this, your 'joystick got soft easily'. I want you to know that you are perfectly fine, most times, our body naturally respond with some sort of anxiety when meeting a new lover. The situation is further aggravated by the fact that your partner's body has not fully opened up for penetrative sex. You need to understand that you are dealing with a woman who is sexually inexperienced and first engage in all form of intimacy that will get her excited about having sex, without mounting pressure on her for penetration.I suspect that she may be tightening up involuntarily. It is best if you can get her worked up so much that she is basically begging you to 'put it in' that way her mind and her body will be opened up to receive you. Even at this stage, still keep your 'goodguy' out of the picture and focus on exploring her core with your clean and well manicured fingers. Start with one, massaging the walls, do not poke, just probe around with you fingers as gently as possible, I expect she will be wet already, if not, get a lubricant. Talk to her ( and her body) as you do this so that she can be distracted a bit and may be stop flexing involuntarily. If the obstruction is a wall ( I doubt) feel around it for some sort of perforation and try to get your finger gently past it, keep probing gently along the walls of her honey pot, particularly the roof, allowing her body to adjust to your intrusive finger, remember, you are not stroking, you are just probing with your fingers seeking to gently expand the perforation. If she is one of those who like to have then nipples nibble at or loves french kissing, do that while you are working your singe finger. If her body opens up more, gently and carefully introduce the second finger and continue that way until her body opens up fully. Afterwards, if she is still up for it, try probing the opening with the 'goodman', rubbing around and moving in very slowly, each time allow her body to adjust to each slight move inward. If you there is no more wall, keep moving in until you get all the way in, slowly pressing forward and waiting for her to adjust. If she still does not open up, get some friction from the little penetration possible at this point and see if you can get yourself off. Then call it a day and come back to repeat the cycle again later in the day or the following morning. This procedure will assure her that she is getting you off, nothing withstanding the temporary mental cum physical hindrance. Her arousal is key, do not probe around her core unless she is really aroused and her body is throbbing for your touch. If this does not work after at least three attempts, your wife may be suffering from vaginismus or unusually think hymen that may require some minor surgical intervention. Good luck Man Note that I have managed to be this detailed because the poster is married and the proposed sex is honourable, if any unmarried may decides to practice this outside of marriage, the thunder that will fire you is doing the last round of its press up. Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled. 25 Likes 2 Shares |
| Health / Re: In Which Hospital Can I Check For GENOTYPE Of Unborn Child Here In Nigeria. by baldman: 7:04pm On May 16, 2019 |
If I understand this advert well, the procedure is done to determine the genotype of the Baby at 10 weeks so that you can have it flushed? What have we turned ourselves into? |
| Travel / Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 6 by baldman: 6:02pm On May 14, 2019 |
Japsylee: You are in luck. My wife got in through JFK last week. Unlike the previous times where questions were asked on the counter, she was asked to go for secondary inspection, she said there were many people there and she had to wait for about one hours thirty minutes. There were questions asked about her mission ( she has a medical visa we are using for the second time), and some documents were checked. If this is her first trip to the US, I will suggest she has all her documents well arranged ( doctor's appointment, or at least, details of the hospital and the Doctors she has in mind, proof of payments ( if any has been made), she should also be ready to disclose how much she has ( it should be reasonable amount in view of the imminent expenses) and also explain why she is coming in through JFK ( if her final destination is not Newyork or nearby cities). It may also be necessary to have a confirmed address. 1 Like |
| Family / Re: Please Help Me I Think I'm Going Crazy!!! by baldman: 6:57pm On Oct 09, 2018 |
Looks like you may be having the post partum blues ( depression), thats why your mind is being flooded with unpleasant memories. Please book an appointment with a psychiatrist or just read up on Post Partum Depression. Get help please. |
| Family / Re: Tired Bachelor Looking For Purposeful Friendship by baldman: 6:47pm On Oct 09, 2018 |
Dear Mimopel, I was not looking for a perfect woman, read the list again and you will see that a woman that meets all of those criteria will still not be a perfect woman. Fortunately, I found her ( as all the important qualities) and married her. We have been a happy couple and I am eternally grateful to God for that. N.B She is no longer a virgin, she has added some weight ( I like the fat pad on the bum) and fashion-wise, I am her Principal Consultant in that regard. 2 Likes |
| Family / Re: I Need Advice Before Taking The Huge Step Into Marriage. by baldman: 7:00pm On Sep 25, 2018 |
Dear Poster, A lot of advice has been given to you on this matter. You are lucky to have serious people responding to your enquiries. My take is that, first, there is no need to rush into a decision at this point and if the man you are talking about really cares about you ( and not just himself) he will be willing to wait not withstanding the sexual pressure. I am happy he is being upfront about that. You mentioned that he is going for his masters, this is even good. Let him go out there and test his preferences. You do not want him to marry you only to travel out and realise that your English and dressing is not hot enough. This will also give you the opportunity to grow a bit more , review you feelings and spend more time with you Mum and older sisters and learn some vital lessons about life, marriage and home keeping. When I was single, I use to avoid girls that are in your age range because I came to understand that they are smart ( sometimes too much for their own good), restless, highly vain and were mostly dreamers (not in touch with reality). You are smart and sensible to be asking questions. I have few tips (questions) that I believe can help you: Is this guy your friend (imagine if you do not end up marrying him, is he someone you consider close enough to just spend time catching up with on the phone, and discussing about your current boyfriend/husband and other interesting/ or even embarrassing stuffs you have kept bottled up)? Are you attracted to him (During those times that you have been with him physically, have you found yourself turned on or feel like you have to restrain yourself from getting a bit intimate with him ( like just kissing him or having him hold you) ? Do you think there is anything about you that complements or completes this guy ( Will he be a mess ( not emotionally) without you in any aspect of his life if you guys end up not being together) His is family comfortable with you and is your family comfortable with him.. are you both comfortable with each other's family? Rating the nature of his care and concern for you, does he look out for you like your father will or your most caring brother will? You do respect him, will you be willing to submit your life and future to his ideals and principles? Will you like to have a son exactly like this man ( if this thought melts your heart, you may love him more than you have admitted)? Do you both share the same christian values? Do you trust this guy, can you trust him with your life, and trust him to make decisions for you? How well do you guys communicate, do you feel like you cannot speak your mind or he does not freely express himself to you? How have you been settling your disputes? Have you guys been managing to settle disputes without external intervention? You are an introvert, so you may not be the easiest to deal with, how well has he been coping with your personality? Do you guys pray together? Do you have testimonies of prayers answered when you both believe God for something? If you have yes to most of these questions, you may have a good guy there. However, subject the relationship to a further test of waiting. Let him go for his masters and come back to marry you, that will give you ample time to process your feelings. 1 Like |
| Family / Re: How Was Your First Year Of Marriage? by baldman: 5:26pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
I remember reading this thread during those years when I was to waiting to get married. So it is give back time. The first year of our marriage was a joyful one and full of blessings too. We went on honeymoon (Dubai) came back and I was able to buy a car for my wife. I also got assigned to a more favourable role at work. We conceived after exactly a month and we had sex almost every day of the pregnancy, until she had to travel to have the baby and we resumed as soon as I was able to join them up till the day before the baby was delivered. We were celibate until the wedding so this was so fulfilling. God blessed us with a bouncing baby boy and we have been back to love making since 13weeks after the baby. Our relationship has gotten better, we communicate well and neither of us has difficulty saying sorry. I do not want my wife to get mad and she avoids getting me mad too. To someone else, my wife may be such an incompetent wife and to another woman, I may be too finicky for a man but we have been ok with each other. She is fast settling down to the wife role and we are completely opened to each other about everything. God indeed answers prayers. I thank God I did not make the mistake of letting her go and I am trusting God to continue to help us. 27 Likes 6 Shares |
| Family / Re: Any Man Who Says He Loves His Mother More Than His Wife Is Ignorant-nigerian Man by baldman: 3:53pm On Aug 23, 2018 |
Thank you for the brilliant summary. I have always struggled with summaries especially when I think certain relevant details could be beneficial to my listener/reader Hanseel1: 1 Like |
| Family / Re: Any Man Who Says He Loves His Mother More Than His Wife Is Ignorant-nigerian Man by baldman: 3:33pm On Aug 23, 2018 |
The responses to the Poster's comment gives a clear indication as to why divorce rate has been on the increase and as rightly noted by the Poster, the comments so far comes from a place of immaturity and a bit of lack of attention to details. The poster advised that married men should not love their wives more than their mothers (not that they should hate their mothers) and supported it with a bible verse. If you are not a christian or one who is looking to run a christian home, this post is not applicable to you. If you are a christian and you do not agree with the biblical injunction for you to leave your father and mother and cleave to your wife, you case is clearly different, you will need to determine what your religion is. The love for one's mother should ordinarily not compete with the love one is to have towards his wife, but where choices have to be made, it will be wise to make choices that will preserve your home. Your mother loved you, you should at least love your children too. There is no greater love you can show your children than to make sure that they grow up in the right atmosphere ( a peaceful home where their mum is valued and not considered a former stranger and inferior to grandma). When your wife was being courted, did you make it clear to her at that point that the best she can ever be in your life is a second fiddle and that your true love and loyalty will remain only with your mum? If your mother truly love you, she will understand the need for you to have a happy home and she will be willing to concede a bit of your attention and affection to your wife. She will even be willing to accept a bit of 'insults' or ignorant disrespect just to make sure your marriage works. I once heard a christian man tell me that his wife, which he sent out, will not return to his home unless his mother is pleased with her ( she was not respectful enough). So now, the man his without a wife because he chose to make his mother happy. His children are out of his home because he loves his mum and is wife being out of the home pleases her. He is happy now living alone with his happy mother catering for him, probably masturbating away at night and tracking his children on social media. What kind of mother will even allow his son choose her over his wife? You should ask your self, what is at stake, for your family ( your children, your personal fulfillment and speed in life) if you love your wife more than your mother? I can tell you that your future, your family life and the future of your children is at stake if you choose your mother's happiness over that of your wife. These unusual love for mothers that makes men push their wives out stems from inherent problems in the homes. The mother was treated as a second fiddle by a man who loved his mother more, so she poured all her love and affection on her son who will treat his own wife the way his mother was treated and the wife too will shift her love and attention on her son.. and the cycle continues. I doubt if any man whose father truly loved his mother would ever think twice about whether or not he should love his wife more than his sufficiently loved mum. Check it, most of these 'I love my Mum' campaigners are from dysfunctional homes (raised by mum alone or in a loveless marriage). Let the mothers reserve their love for husband, let their sons love their wives and protect them like their fathers did to their mothers. This is healthier, otherwise, your wife can never stand a chance when placed side by side your Mother, it is not fair to bring any woman into such situation, particularly as you got her into the marriage claiming that you love her. Marry a woman that truly loves you and she will care about everything you love, including your Mum. Your home is hers, not your Mum's. Your heart is hers, not your Mum's and your future is definitely hers, not your Mum's. Both of you will care for your Mum until she is gone. She will cry more than you when your mum is gone, and at that critical time, you will find true solace in her bossom. She is your future Mum if you love her enough to win her love. 9 Likes 1 Share |
| Family / Re: My Wife And Her Family Are Driving Me crazy by baldman: 3:16pm On Jul 27, 2018 |
Oh thanks! I did find and I am a very happy man now... not through Nairaland though. NoToPile: |
| Family / Re: My Wife And Her Family Are Driving Me crazy by baldman: 4:30pm On Jul 25, 2018 |
I will just ignore your sauciness as highlighted ( and by the way I found her and I am a very happy husband and father now... I pray the Lord will bless your marriage too ). I also appreciate that you went on to respond as an adult. Like I said, and with utmost respect, you need a bit of growing up to do, be a bit more open minded and relax... , marriage is a really long journey and there will always be need for compromise here and there to make it work. The summary of my advice to you is that treat your wife's family exactly the way you pray your future Son-In-Law treat you.Let me give you another dimension. Your wife's siblings are the future Uncles and Aunties to your children, their children will become your children's cousin. If you plant well, you will reap it and your children too. My Uncles and Aunties ( particularly from my Mother's side) have been really good to me and my siblings, I tell you, in no small measure. These are people who have enjoyed my Father's brotherly attention, generosity and accommodating nature while we were growing up. Addressing singles now: Please make sure you study the family you are marrying into. Do not let love blind your eyes to all these forseeable things that makes marriage a hell. happney65: 1 Like |
| Family / Re: My Wife And Her Family Are Driving Me crazy by baldman: 1:21pm On Jul 25, 2018 |
Thanks for putting your comment in context. It is good that you mentioned that you already moved on but your wife came back... My point is that Do not leave if your intention is not to leave for good, what if you only wanted to prove a point and your wife missed the point and moved on?There are other ways. hope4nigeria: |
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